Category Archives: Poetry

Cannabis Parody of Children’s song “This Old Man”

Standard

This old man he rolled one…

He smoked it up with his son…

With a nick nack paddy whack roll us another bone…

This old man came toking home.

This old man he rolled two.

He smoked reefer till he flew.

With a nick nack paddy whack roll us another bone.

This old man came toking home.

This old man he rolled three

outta  out of his bag og home grown trees

with a nick nack paddy whack roll us another bone…

This old man came toking home.

This old man he rolled four

because today he was so sore

with a nick nack paddy whack roll up another bone…

this old man came toking home.

This old man he rolled five

cannabis oil helps keep him alive

with a nick nack paddy wack roll us up another bone…

this old man came toking home.

This old man he rolled six,

some men need weed to stiffen their dicks

with a nick nack paddy whack his girl is comin to ride his bone….

this old man tokes in his home.

This old man he rolled seven

smoking weed helps him talk to heaven

with a nick nack paddy whack roll up another bone.

Its spiritual use up in our home.

this old man he rolled eight

just so he could eat what’s on his plate.

with a nick nack paddy whack roll up another bone.

No chronic wasting in this home.

this old man he rolled nine,

after toking out he felt just fine

with a nick nack paddy whack roll up another bone…

this old man came toking home.

this old man he rolled ten

then handed ‘em out to all his friends…

with a nick nack paddy whack roll up another bone….

this old man tokes in and out of home.

The classic children song

“This Old Man Nursery Rhymes”

This old man, he played one
He played knick-knack on my thumb
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played two
He played knick-knack on my shoe
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played three
He played knick-knack on my knee
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played four
He played knick-knack on my door
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played five
He played knick-knack on my hive
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played six
He played knick-knack on my sticks
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played seven
He played knick-knack up in heaven
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played eight
He played knick-knack on my gate
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played nine
He played knick-knack on my spine
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man, he played ten
He played knick-knack once ag’n
With a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

 

more history from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Old_Man

Origins and history

The origins of this song are obscure. The earliest extant record is a version noted in Anne Gilchrist‘s Journal of the English Folk Dance and Song Society (1937), learnt from her Welsh nurse in the 1870s under the title “Jack Jintle” with the lyrics:

My name is Jack Jintle, the eldest but one,
And I can play nick-nack upon my own thumb.
With my nick-nack and pad-lock and sing a fine song,
And all the fine ladies come dancing along.

My name is Jack Jintle, the eldest but two,
And I can play nick-nack upon my own shoe.
With my nick-nack, etc.[1]

The more familiar version goes like this:

This old man, he played one,
He played knick-knack on my thumb;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played two,
He played knick-knack on my shoe;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played three,
He played knick-knack on my knee;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played four,
He played knick-knack on my door;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played five,
He played knick-knack on my hive;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played six,
He played knick-knack on my sticks;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played seven,
He played knick-knack up in heaven;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played eight,
He played knick-knack on my gate;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played nine,
He played knick-knack on my spine;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played ten,
He played knick-knack once again;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

A similar version was included in Cecil Sharp and Sabine Baring-Gould‘s English Folk-Songs for Schools, published in 1906.[2] It was collected several times in England in the early twentieth century with a variety of lyrics. In 1948 it was included by Pete Seeger and Ruth Crawford in their American Folk Songs for Children and recorded by Seeger in 1953. It received a boost in popularity when it was adapted for the 1958 film The Inn of the Sixth Happiness by composer Malcolm Arnold as “The Children’s Marching Song”, which led to hit singles for Cyril Stapleton and Mitch Miller.[3]

[edit]In popular culture

  • The song was parodied in The Two Ronnies skit The Plumstead Ladies’ Male Voice Choir, with funny verses such as: “Her old man, next to you/Needs a damn good talking to/Knick-knack, paddy-whack, now she’s in the club/He’s off boozing down the pub”; and “This old man, he played nine/He’s as bad as your’s or mine/Dick, Jack, Harry, Mack, Trevor, Doug or Mike/All old men are all alike.”
  • Columbo (Peter Falk) used to whistle this tune in several episodes.
  • In the Cheers season eleven episode “The King of Beers”, Norm awkwardly blows a job interview by complimenting his possible future boss’s pants and singing “This Old Man”, something Rebecca said she did when interviewing for her “dream job” at the House of Pancakes.
  • Nerdcore rapper MC Frontalot recorded a track on his album Nerdcore Rising by the name of “This Old Man”. The track’s refrain lines are done in the same meter and the lyrics describe an elderly rapper.
  • The song is referenced by Korn in their song “Shoots and Ladders” along with many other nursery rhymes.
  • Fiddler’s Green sang a version of “This Old Man” on their 2009′s Album “Sports Day At Killaloe” with eleven stanzas.
  • In Mad Men Season 1 Episode 4 “New Amsterdam”, Bertram Cooper whistles it after lecturing Don Draper on the company’s need to keep Pete Campbell.
  • The Wiggles covered this song with Sam Moran on Pop Go The Wiggles.
  • Barney & Friends changes this song with “I Love You”.
  • The song was heavily sampled “This Old Man” by Destiny’s Child in their song “Temptation” from their 1999 album, The Writing’s on the Wall.
  • Paddiwack Song by Ritchie Valens is a Rock and roll version of the song.

[edit]References

  1. ^ A. G. Gilchrist, “Jack Jintle”, Journal of the English Folk Dance and Song Society, 3 (2) (1937), pp. 124–5.
  2. ^ S. B. Gould and C. J. Sharp English Folk-Songs for Schools (London: J. Curwen & Sons, 1906) pp. 94–5.
  3. ^ N. Musiker and D. Adès, Conductors and Composers of Popular Orchestral Music: a Biographical and Discographical Sourcebook (London: Greenwood, 1998), p. 248.

[edit]External links

 

Pink Floyd Animals, Art, Activism

Standard
Pink Floyd Animals, Art, Activism

The piece is really a self portrait about my activism journey/personal life 2009-2012 set to the pink floyd animals album. im thinking the subtle message may be too personal and understated for most to “get it”

2012-12-19-1629-to-alter-edit-2-2.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animals_(Pink_Floyd_album)

Pigs on the Wing (Part One) (Waters) 1:24

If you didn’t care what happened to me,
And I didn’t care for you,
We would zig zag our way through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain.
Wondering which of the buggars to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing.

Dogs (Waters, Gilmour) 17:06 

You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need.
You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you’re on the street,
You gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed.
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight,
You gotta strike when the moment is right without thinking.

And after a while, you can work on points for style.
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake,
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile.
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
So that when they turn their backs on you,
You’ll get the chance to put the knife in.

You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder.
You know it’s going to get harder, and harder, and harder as you
get older.
And in the end you’ll pack up and fly down south,
Hide your head in the sand,
Just another sad old man,
All alone and dying of cancer.

And when you loose control, you’ll reap the harvest you have sown.
And as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone.
And it’s too late to lose the weight you used to need to throw
around.
So have a good drown, as you go down, all alone,
Dragged down by the stone.

I gotta admit that I’m a little bit confused.
Sometimes it seems to me as if I’m just being used.
Gotta stay awake, gotta try and shake off this creeping malaise.
If I don’t stand my own ground, how can I find my way out of this
maze?

Deaf, dumb, and blind, you just keep on pretending
That everyone’s expendable and no-one has a real friend.
And it seems to you the thing to do would be to isolate the winner
And everything’s done under the sun,
And you believe at heart, everyone’s a killer.

Who was born in a house full of pain.
Who was trained not to spit in the fan.
Who was told what to do by the man.
Who was broken by trained personnel.
Who was fitted with collar and chain.
Who was given a pat on the back.
Who was breaking away from the pack.
Who was only a stranger at home.
Who was ground down in the end.
Who was found dead on the phone.
Who was dragged down by the stone.

Pigs (Three Different Ones) (Waters) 11:26 
Big man, pig man, ha ha charade you are.
You well heeled big wheel, ha ha charade you are.
And when your hand is on your heart,
You’re nearly a good laugh,
Almost a joker,
With your head down in the pig bin,
Saying “Keep on digging.”
Pig stain on your fat chin.
What do you hope to find.
When you’re down in the pig mine.
You’re nearly a laugh,
You’re nearly a laugh
But you’re really a cry.

Bus stop rat bag, ha ha charade you are.
You fucked up old hag, ha ha charade you are.
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass.
You’re nearly a good laugh,
Almost worth a quick grin.
You like the feel of steel,
You’re hot stuff with a hatpin,
And good fun with a hand gun.
You’re nearly a laugh,
You’re nearly a laugh
But you’re really a cry.

Hey you, Whitehouse,
Ha ha charade you are.
You house proud town mouse,
Ha ha charade you are
You’re trying to keep our feelings off the street.
You’re nearly a real treat,
All tight lips and cold feet
And do you feel abused?
…..! …..! …..! …..!
You gotta stem the evil tide,
And keep it all on the inside.
Mary you’re nearly a treat,
Mary you’re nearly a treat
But you’re really a cry.

Sheep (Waters) 10:19

Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away;
Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air.
You better watch out,
There may be dogs about
I’ve looked over Jordan, and I have seen
Things are not what they seem.

What do you get for pretending the danger’s not real.
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel.
What a surprise!
A look of terminal shock in your eyes.
Now things are really what they seem.
No, this is no bad dream.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me down to lie
Through pastures green He leadeth me the silent waters by.
With bright knives He releaseth my soul.
He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places.
He converteth me to lamb cutlets,
For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger.
When cometh the day we lowly ones,
Through quiet reflection, and great dedication
Master the art of karate,
Lo, we shall rise up,
And then we’ll make the bugger’s eyes water.

Bleating and babbling I fell on his neck with a scream.
Wave upon wave of demented avengers
March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

Have you heard the news?
The dogs are dead!
You better stay home
And do as you’re told.
Get out of the road if you want to grow old.

Pigs on the Wing (Part Two) (Waters) 1:27

You know that I care what happens to you,
And I know that you care for me.
So I don’t feel alone,
Or the weight of the stone,
Now that I’ve found somewhere safe
To bury my bone.
And any fool knows a dog needs a home,
A shelter from pigs on the wing.

lyrics courtesy of: http://www.pink-floyd-lyrics.com/index.html

Below it is my 24th draft and final of this video. The music is slightly slowed in the second version. In both videos I am symbolically distorting and burning my “self” and showcasing the art that comes from my inner turmoil.

Shall We Call it Wail Oil or Phoenix Tears?

Standard
Shall We Call it Wail Oil or Phoenix Tears?

Its the bitter watches of the night and I wake. I ask myself what it is that has rousted me this day from my slumber. Its not near my body clock’s time of 4am…. There is a wailing in my mind and I must ask myself “whose pain is this?” for I know it is not mine. My body is aching with the storm on the peak, but I’d just found my center and there was no wail with in me like this to speak.

So trying not to wake the other in my bed, I sit quietly and listen to see what it is this wailing voice has come to seek. Its victims so many victims… victims of war, hungry ghosts of a corrupt system, victims of the human butchers and legal poison vendors, victims of industry and victims of hard work, being eaten alive by cancer and bodily disorder of so many shapes and forms it makes me shudder in vibration with this wail. And within me I hold an answer for so many a gift from above that I try to spread without regard to a patient station in life….. It is a wail of responsibility. It is a wail of the profiteer’s victims. It is the wail of prohibitions ugly head……

I light a candle to guard my heart from a wailing so deep in the thick of the night and I still listen to the voice in my mind reminding me of their plight. I sit a while with the lamb in my breath asking that higher than I to step in and take this wail up with my smoke to the sky. I ask for the means to bless those wailing with even a few grams of healing and hope cause I believe in doing what my creator said. And I know that this life and this path I have chosen for myself has never been easy but its not about self.

I give honor to the earth. I burn sacred sage of the earth and cleanse the darkness from my mind until light only remains. I light incense and honor the air. More candles glow and I honor the firey spirit of the soul and I soak in salted and perfumed waters and try to scrub away the victimization of these beautiful souls. Lambs breath fills my pipe and lungs and mind and I try to send a shining beacon of the creators light to these wailing in my mind and in the dark and in their own lives and pain… Dressed for the day I inhale organic tobacco and ponder quietly.

Then another presence comes upon my mind…. and I am taken back though the years and back in time. To a place and time where my body was not constantly sore…. Its boulder its Ginsberg its 1994. Its a little bookish Jewish dude who howled for his time and who brought me to his feet to sit for a time… You see he was my own personal poet willy wonka who saw a bit of my poetry and brought me on up to the Naropa factory to sit at his feet for the anniversary of his beloved school. It was Allen Ginsberg day in Boulder and I was with the master and yet a child myself….. I remember how he opened my eyes and smoked a blended herbal cigarette with me in an intermission…..

What dreams I have of you tonight Allen Ginsberg as you dreamed of Walt Whitman…. with sick people wailing in the night and my soul howling at the moon of my own inner madness.

I wonder where you are tonight while I feel so small and so responsible. I imagine you my zen master in your own nirvana or perhaps your here again in another body and another life… But from wherever you are I seem to hear your voice reminding me of the power of my pen and of the ideals to which you and I both try to keep. You wanted freedom of the plant and so do I. I’m trying to be a willy wonka for others where you were willy wonks for I… and so my musings and prayers and light intercessions complete I turn to what I can do for those wailing from where I am and put actions to the light that I keep.

And so I begin to wail for these folks online saying with my writers voice and my mighty pen:

I begin with this blessing: Virtual early Sunday morning tokes to all of the Rastafarian sacramental strain lambs breath. For me this strain quiets fears and calms my mind. It clears my mind and puts me in a space where i can enter my creators holy throne room with gratitude and peace instead of chaos and turmoil. It makes me still enough to hear the still small voice of my soul. It points me to currents and springs of strength and reminds me of the good i do. All of this i have for me i extend to you virtually and in energy and prayer.

Note***** There are two sacramental strains to the Rastafarian religion. One is called Lamb’s bread (I have never had the pleasure of smoking this strain) and it is said to have cola’s so large that the buds are sliced up like slices of bread. This is said to be more for dancing and rejoicing before the Lamb. Lamb’s breath is characterized by smaller dense highly resinous buds that are mellow, mind clearing and good for quiet contemplation.

I am still looking for new raw material sources to meet demand. I will pay $100 a pound for quality trim. I know a lot of you usually process your own trim but who cant use an extra few dollars around the holidays that the transaction goes to save lives? Call 719 480 0238. you must be in Colorado. I need bulk i need it quick.

I will travel anywhere in the state and negotiate on price for the right weight of the right stuff. I need trim that bad. I am trying to get people served as quickly as possible while longer term sources Relationships are in the works. Call 719 480 0238. A portion of any and all trim purchased goes to provide free phoenix tears to those in need that is why i need good prices. To put goodies into financially challenged cancer and severe illness folks hands. Lets get those free folks their Christmas presents and the paid folks what they deserve. It will make you feel good to give some people tears of joy.

The rest of you who cannot help with actions you may offer you energy to the task. Never underestimate the power of prayer in intercession for someone else. If we focus good vibes on those free peeps and paid peeps their lives can improve exponentially by far more than me just getting Their oil delivered to them. I invite you to join me in that intention…. No, i challenge you to.

Where is the heart that used to beat in this state for the less fortunate? Have you all gone mad with greed? I am willing to pay a fair price so i can give meds away for free. Will no one support me in that cause? Are you all so rich you can laugh at thousands of dollars? Are you all so unmoved by the plight of the less fortunate? Is there no one who believes in me filling hands where mine once needed filled? No one thinks its good to repay kindness by paying
it forward to others?

I just gotta get these people taken care of. For some it means hope to try for another year. There is a couple who lives on the street. One partner has bone cancer and has all but given up. When my oil is there they live as good as they can and enjoy what life they have. Without the oil bone cancer boy gives up. They cant pay and i don’t care. I wanna give them both some hope and quality of life.

There is a writer whom many respect respect within our community whose belly aches him to no end and he cant sleep among other serious issues that are more private. He works hard for our cause but cant afford oil. He is the very picture of a starving writer and artist with a good soul and I wanna get him some rest and comfort so he can continue to serve us all so well.

There is an awesome bud-tend who works for far less than he is worth. The shop he works for sells oil yet it is out of his price range. A grain of rice a day would stop him from needing a diabetic needle yet his pancreas is far overworked. I wanna be sure he can keep giving patients the strains they need with the brain in his head. I have never left his shop with anything other than a strain to treat exactly the conditions I am concerned about that day mostly due to his knowledge that keeps a wide variety of strains for a wide variety of ailments on the shelves and getting into the right hands.

There are Numerous ladies and gents with tumors praying to avoid chemo and folks hoping not to need their noses scraped off their faces Who cant pay and need mercy. How can anyone deny the value of what i”m trying to accomplish? will no one sell me the raw materials i need to enrich these lives. I have shared but the tip of the iceberg.

Someone calls these folks I’m trying to help jewels in my crown. I bristle at the suggestion. I don’t care about jewels in my crown. If the creator blesses me as such that is incidental. I give because i know need better than most and to repay the kindnesses done for me by good people when i had nothing.

I do it because someone needs to and far too many are far too concerned with profit. I do it because these are victims of a corrupt system each and everyone in one way or another.

And i do it because it is in my nature to do it. And to make my murdered son proud of me from where he sits waiting on me in the afterlife and to make his wait have meaning. Help me make these sick people’s wait have meaning too.

So if you have some trim and a heart call me at 719 480 0238 And lets bless some people together. If you have a heart and no trim please just keep these good folks in your thoughts and prayers or however you communicate with the universe offer some strength in the direction of one or more of these people. Don’t direct it at me please. The sick need your love and light far more than i do.

I ask again! Where is the heart that used to beat in this state for the less fortunate? Have you all gone mad with greed? I am willing to pay a fair price so i can give meds away for free. Will no one support me in that cause? Are you all so rich you can laugh at thousands of dollars? Are you all so unmoved by the plight of the less fortunate? Is there no one who believes in me filling hands where mine once needed filled? No one thinks its good to repay kindness by paying it forward to others?

And so I move from being woke in the night, to prayer, to action trying to get some help to those who need it most. Won’t you please help me? I want to buy raw materials to make them medicine. That’s all.

Some Raw Materials images purchased after this post:

This is some sugar out of one of our big bags of trim

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA

virtual tokes from my bag to your bowl.....some bud from an oil making bag of raw materials that came from an awesome friend — in Denver, CO.

virtual tokes from my bag to your bowl…..
some bud from an oil making bag of raw materials that came from an awesome friend — in Denver, CO.

You Can't see my pain with your eyes. The only thing that relieves my pain is Cannabis! You could never imagine the pain I suffer, yet you deny me my freedom.

You Can’t see my pain with your eyes. The only thing that relieves my pain is Cannabis! You could never imagine the pain I suffer, yet you deny me my freedom.

FAQ’s about Phoenix Tears Therapy for the Beginner

Standard
FAQ’s about Phoenix Tears Therapy for the Beginner
A Heart Filled with love is like a phoenix that no cage can imprison ~Rumi

A Heart Filled with love is like a phoenix that no cage can imprison ~Rumi

There is a cure for cancer and we are here to help you in your pursuit of life.

What if there is an answer to Cancer?

What if doctors already had the knowledge to cure cancer? What if that answer to cancer was a plant easily grown both indoors and out. These are not hypothetical “what if’s” There is an answer to cancer, that answer is Phoenix Tears.

What Are Phoenix Tears?

Quite simply, Phoenix Tears are a potent, concentrated form of the cannabis plant.  This therapy is also known as R.S.O (Rick Simpson Oil), Cannabis Cure Oil, Run From the Cure Oil, F.E.C.O (Fully Extracted Cannabis Oil), Ronnie Smith Oil, Jamaican Hash Oil (like you used to get “back in the day”) Cannabis extract, or simply hash oil. Whatever you call it, it is strong medicine that cures most cancers and can treat many disorders/diseases in the body.

Have Questions? You are Not Alone…

I hope I can offer you a few answers about Cannabis Cure Oil

I get a lot of questions about Phoenix Tears Therapy from people who know very little about cannabis or the healing process with Phoenix Tears Therapy. Therefore, I have decided to provide some information here on the blog to make it easier for everyone.

If you do not know what phoenix tears are or that they cure cancer, or have never heard that cannabis oil can treat and cure a wide variety of diseases, please take time to acquaint yourself with the following information/videos. I have made every attempt to quote my sources wherever appropriate.

2 ounces of oil, eaten over a 90-day time period is the cure for most cancers.  For some patients,it takes less oil/duration of therapy, for others, it takes more. If a patient can tolerate the psychoactive effects of the medication, they should eat as much as they can as quickly as they can.

_______________________________

What if cannabis cured cancer?

Could the chemicals found in marijuana prevent and even heal several deadly cancers? Could the tumor regulating properties of cannabinoids someday replace the debilitating drugs, chemotherapy, and radiation that harms as often as it heals? Discover the truth about this ancient medicine as world renowned scientists in the field of cannabinoid research explain and illustrate their truly mind-blowing discoveries. QUOTES: “What If Cannabis Cured Cancer summarizes the remarkable research findings of recent years about the cancer-protective effects of novel compounds in marijuana. Most medical doctors are not aware of this information and its implications for prevention and treatment. If we need more evidence that our current policy on cannabis is counterproductive and foolish, here it is.” -Andrew Weil, M.D. “A hugely important film” – Julie Holland, M.D. NYU School of Medicine

As the documentary explains, cannabis grew prolifically during ancient times and is thought to be mankind’s firs cultivated plant. Whether it was ground up and used as an ancient ingredient or simply eaten whole, marijuana was thought to be a component of ancient man’s diet, as well as one of his most trusted tools. As recently as the 1940’s, the US government grew marijuana over hundreds of acres and used it to make the ropes on America’s naval warships during World War 2.

In the 1800’s, medical journals published more than one hundred articles touting the benefits and uses of marijuana. The film insists that during the days of house-call-making doctors, marijuana was a part of every physician’s medical bag. One of the most widely prescribed treatments by doctors a century and a half ago, it was used to counter complaints such as labor pains, asthma, rheumatism, nervous disorders, colic in babies and menstrual cramps.

Today, even with the limited testing allowed by the world’s governments, marijuana is inspiring new medical discoveries and unlocking the mysteries of the human body. Some of the quotes put forth in the documentary by experts in the medical marijuana field include, “This group of chemicals has significant anti-tumor properties”, “Cannabis kills cancer cells, in many cases”, “They have anti-tumor effects” and “We know that it kills cancer cells without hurting the non-transformed cells”.

The documentary goes on to remind viewers that marijuana has already been proven to have anti-inflammatory, anti-spasmodic and anti-bacterial properties – some of the most pharmaceutically-prescribed ailments in America today. The plant’s chemical effects have also proved to safely and successfully treat depression, traumatic stress syndrome, chronic pain, glaucoma, migraine headaches, multiple sclerosis, turrets, nausea and more – all without the deadly and dangerous side effects accompanying pharmaceutical drugs.

click here for reference 

or

visit the following url:

http://www.whiteoutpress.com/articles/q12012/does-marijuana-cure-cancer617/

What if there is an answer to Cancer Video Playlist
At the below link, you will find a youtube playlist of pro-Phoenix Tears therapy/medicinal cannabis videos regarding cancer and other diseases for all them Marijana Men and Reefer Gurls out there as well as for all those poor souls stuck needing Gardening Tips for the Medically Damned because their bodies are falling apart. The Art of Breezy Kiefair includes the healing arts.  I have been working on expanding this post to include further details and resources because the initial post was so well received. I thank you for your kind shares and likes on this post. It is my sincerest hope that this does answer some questions for people. If you have a video suggestion to add to the list, please let me know (the list is in no way complete, I am just running out of strength for the day). If you have a question that I missed, please ask it on the post so that all may benefit from whatever answer I may be able to dig up. Thanks again all my friends, fans and fiends. Virtual tokes to those who need them, and as always, have a blessed day. (added 11/1/2012)

What if there is an answer to Cancer video playlist

url:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwc43UiVjiuc6fDvfXM7kxHTtESzHzmOj

_______________________________

Medical Marijuana Mice

Most of the evidence available about this amazing treatment is anecdotal, however the visual images of the healing are stunning and hard to ignore, even when it is the lowly lab mouse showing us what it can do.

_______________________________

Have Questions? You are Not Alone…

I hope I can offer you a few answers about Cannabis Cure Oil

I get a lot of questions about Phoenix Tears Therapy from people who know very little about cannabis or the healing process with Phoenix Tears Therapy. Therefore, I have decided to provide some information here on the blog to make it easier for everyone.

If you do not know what phoenix tears are or that they cure cancer, or have never heard that cannabis oil can treat and cure a wide variety of diseases, please take time to acquaint yourself with the following information/videos. I have made every attempt to quote my sources wherever appropriate.

2 ounces of oil, eaten over a 90-day time period is the cure for most cancers.  For some patients,it takes less oil/duration of therapy, for others, it takes more. If a patient can tolerate the psychoactive effects of the medication, they should as much as they can as quickly as they can.

_______________________________

Let’s begin with a bit of my personal cancer history

_______________________________

anyone else notice the big lump on the left? look just above the leaves over my shoulder. It began as a lump behind my left ear the ulcer on the top of the head has been there off and on since I was about 9 years old… it would heal up and reopen unexpectedly years later.
there is a cure for cancer… how many beautiful women need butchered because doctors wanna run from the cure for the sake of monetary gain… are you curious about the cure?

I have a genetic disorder that gives me an extremely high tolerance, and I ate 4-10 grams a day for about a month and cured my cancer. VERY few individuals can tolerate that much oil that quickly. It is not going to kill you  no matter how much you take (given that the tears have been made properly and no solvents remain). Most people just can’t take as much as I did and function on any level. I am a unique case on several levels, so my path and speed down that path need not be yours. You know your own body better than anyone else does (with the exception of your understanding of a creator if you have one.) You should be your own judge of what your body needs.

I am not a doctor or licensed herbalist. I am just a lady who has travelled this path trying to offer information to other people considering walking down this path of their own free will.

Just this August, I had cancer for the fourth time.

I fought with myself for a long time about even going to a doctor. MY FREE WILL said that a doctor visit is only a diagnostic tool…. I knew I would not be allowing any cutting… I would not be allowing any chemo… I seriously doubted I’d even submit to imaging (radiation of its own).  Another part of me thought that perhaps I would find some benefit from seeing a western medicine doctor for my cancer… I have had it 3 times before… Still, it was not as if I did not know what I was in for…. I make the cure… I’m was left wondering what to do or to think about it, and it was torture for me and everyone I am connected with…. I made up my own damn mind as always (would you expect anything less?) but, took wise take counsel in many forms before coming to a decision… I hate doctors with a passion, but for the good of my sanity and those around me, I went to the doctor. He said “malignant”, and I went home to eat oil.

I began using the phoenix tears therapy in November 2011 ( 1 drop – 1/4 gram of cannabis oil per day) to aid in the agony that had been diagnosed as “fibromyalgia” (a misdiagnosis, but we will get to that part of the tale later) Even before I went in to see the doctor, I had been stepping up my dosing of phoenix tears from my previous dosing.

On August 20, 2012, my facebook status message read:

my mission for the day? do good and try to heal my own body (we have not gone into a doc, but the phoenix tears is pulling some “very bad things” out of me) We have not decided if a trip to see an oncologist is in order, and even if it is in order, i’m not sure i wanna go see the butchers, submit to the diagnostic torture, and fight with them about my alternative therapy choices… so is my remission at an end or not? does it really matter? the answer is the same… I live in a house that makes the cure…. So I will be doing high dose phoenix tears therapy until all these masses are gone… By the way, I have DVD copies of Run From The Cure available for anyone who needs them… I intend to hand them out free at hospitals and Run for the Cure events……

I fulfilled that mission. I have given out at least 50 free copies of the “Run from the Cure” that I had paid a company to make for me. I still have around 50 to go. Some went to dispensaries (as you would expect), some were handed out in the doctor’s office(s) I visited, others went to health food stores, some went to herbalists and naturopathic healers, some went to people I happened to speak to in the grocery store line, more went in random places where it was up to fate to decide whose hands the video ended up in… like outside of tobacco shops, liquor stores, and gambling dens. 

After a conversation with a Dude collecting donations for homeless vets. Before giving, I made sure the vets are allowed to medicate with weed. They are and brother man has his red card.I donated $108 to his cause when I meant to donate $9… there is a benjamin doing good things for homeless vets… wow am i glad i asked if they had a place for the vets to use their canna-medicine if they have a colorado license to do so… 

I had to shave the back of my head to make topical application of the cannabis oil thinned slightly with olive oil an easier thing to do. I remembered a haircut that had been popular in my youth, and secure in the knowledge that my treatment would not make my hair fall out, I only shaved the back of my head. If I wore a scarf, no one could tell that the back of my head was so lumpy, uneven and working on using the cancer cure. But it wasn’t just a mass on the back of my head, I also had a mass in my left breast and small masses in various other parts of my body (along the lymphatic system’s pathways).  My digestive tract was so messed up that I have lived on a liquid diet almost exclusively from March 2012-the present (although I have recently been able to eat/digest more solid food). There were a ton of other symptoms as well. It was agony. By taking the phoenix tears in very high doses, I was able to eliminate all the masses the doctors had found. They were shocked, amazed, and educated by my “miraculous healing”. They had given me about a month to live, and within that month, I made all the cancer go away using cannabis oil.

On September 24, 2012 at 10:46pm my Facebook status proudly read:

Doc says I am cancer free…. Doc said the remaining portion of the mass on the back of my head is acute muscle tension (thank you fibro). Doc says my doggie gave me a minor head injury while playing with me… doc also says I have Acute Pancreatitis and need to be on bed-rest and clear liquids for a while….. I was afraid of people showing up at the er, so I had to say it was a bud of mine and not me…. They wanted to keep me at the hospital for a few days to control the pain and ensure I was ok, but I just couldn’t handle that and I know I can get a shit-ton of things done on bedrest at home where as I couldn’t get jack and shit done at the hospital…. Thanks for the love and support guys…. I needed it and still do….

Issues with my gut continued. I was diagnosed later with pancreatitis, then colitis, and finally a root cause to all my pain was discovered. I have a rare genetic disease called Familial Mediterranean Fever. Sadly, cannabis cannot cure a defect in my genes (to my knowledge) but it remains an important part of my pain control regimen to ensure I function. You can read more about my crazy genes by clicking this paragraph.

The good news is I can eat solid foods again (sometimes) and I am getting a lot more sleep than I have been capable of in years with the addition of the new treatment based on the diagnosis of Familial Mediterranean Fever.

_______________________________

Even harry pot-head (i mean potter) knows Phoenix Tears have healing powers!!!


_______________________________

Still Curious about the Cure for Cancer? Read ON!

_______________________________

Is there a difference between Hemp and Cannabis?

Yes and no… Hemp generally refers to either the male plant or the portions of the plant used for their fiber. Cannabis generally refers to the female plant and the portions of the plant used for it’s psychoactive and healing effects.

Merriam-Webster definitions of Hemp and Cannabis:

hemp

noun ˈhemp

1

a : a tall widely cultivated Asian herb
(Cannabis sativa of the family Cannabaceae, the hemp family)
that has a tough bast fiber used especially for cordage
and that is often separated into a tall loosely branched species (C. sativa)
and a low-growing densely branched species (C. indica)

b : the fiber of hemp

c : a psychoactive drug (as marijuana or hashish) from hemp

2

: a fiber (as jute) from a plant other than the true hemp;

also: a plant yielding such fiber

Origin of HEMP

Middle English, from Old English hænep;

akin to Old High German hanaf hemp,

Greek kannabis

First Known Use: before 12th century

Definition of CANNABIS

1
: hemp 1a
2
: any of the preparations (as marijuana or hashish) or chemicals (as THC) that are derived from the hemp
and are psychoactive

Origin of CANNABIS

Latin, hemp, from Greek kannabis; akin to Old English hænephemp

First Known Use: 1783

Author’s note ~ there is so much more to know on the origin of the word Cannabis!!!

If you do your homework on cannabis well,
you should have come across kaneh-bosim (Hebrew קְנֵה-בֹשֶׂם)

The anthropologist Sula Benet did a lot of work
on the etymology of this word and it’s association
with Old Testament biblical recipe for
Holy Anointing Oil given in Exodus 30:22-25.

The term sweet calamus was mistranslated
and put in place of Kaneh-Bosim
when King James of england commissioned a new translation (circa 1604-1611).

Benet’s writings have gained modern notability[citation needed]
for her interpretations of the herb appearing in
Hebrew text as kaneh-bosim (Hebrew קְנֵה-בֹשֶׂם)
five times in the Hebrew Bible and how it
relates to the religious use of cannabis.
Kaneh-bosm is mentioned twice as part of
the holy anointing oil used in the temple,
and has been interpreted traditionally as calamus
(an herb that is known in North American shamanism
and in vedic atharva and has been discovered in
modern times to contain a molecule known as Asarone
that is a precursor of trimethoxyamphetamine, a psychedelic).
Through comparative etymology, analysis of ancient texts
(including pre-Hebrew Semitic language), a
nd pharmacological consistencies she contends that
the word kaneh-bosm actually refers to cannabis
and was used in ancient Jewish religious rites,
as a medicine and ritual sacrament.
Benet’s work claims that cannabis use has a long culturally important history,
and that the criminalization and demonization of cannabis is a recent invention
(an occurrence of the previous century compared to Torah: dating back at least 3,000 years).
While Benet’s conclusion regarding the psychoactive use of cannabis
are not generally recognized among Jewish scholars,
there is general agreement that hemp (“Kaneh”)
is used in talmudic sources to refer to hemp fibers,
as hemp was a vital commodity before linen replaced it.[1]
Benet claims that traditional identifications of kaneh bosom
do not account for hemp shirts being produced from industrial hemp,
which Benet claims is “Kaneh” in Hebrew.[2]
Benet claims that this kaneh differs from the “fragrant” or “sweet” hemp
called especially kaneh bosm, because the latter
produces much more of aromatic and psychotropic substances like CBD and THC.[2] [3]
reference url: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sula_Benet


_______________________________

Is Hemp SEED oil the same as the cannabis cure oil?

NO! they are produced in entirely different methods from different parts and even different sexes of the plant!!! While I do recommend people cook with hemp seed oil whenever possible, It is not the cure for cancer. It is “health food” because   its 3:1 ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 essential fatty acids, which matches the balance required by the human body.

__________

What is Hemp Seed Oil?

__________

Click here for reference 
Not to be confused with hash oil.
Bottles of hempseed oil

Hemp oil or hempseed oil is obtained by pressing hemp seeds. Cold pressed, unrefined hemp oil is dark to clear light green in color, with a pleasant nutty flavour. The darker the color, the grassier the flavour.

Refined hempseed oil is clear and colorless, with little flavor and lacks natural vitamins and antioxidants. Refined hempseed oil is primarily used in body care products. Industrial hempseed oil is used in lubricants, paints, inks, fuel, and plastics. Hempseed oil has found some limited use in the production of soaps, shampoos and detergents. The oil is of high nutritional value because its 3:1 ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 essential fatty acids, which matches the balance required by the human body.[1] It has also received attention in recent years as a possible feedstock for the large-scale production of biodiesel.[2][3] There are a number of organisations that promote the production and use of hempseed oil.[4]

Hemp seed oil (right)

Hempseed oil is manufactured from varieties of Cannabis sativa that do not contain significant amounts of THC, the psychoactive element present in the cannabis plant. This manufacturing process typically includes cleaning the seed to 99.99% before pressing the oil. There is no THC within the hempseed, although trace amounts of THC may be found in hempseed oil when plant matter adheres to the seed surface during manufacturing. The modern production of hempseed oil, particularly in Canada, has successfully lowered THC values since 1998.[5]

Hash oil, not to be confused with hempseed oil, is used for both medicinal and recreational purposes and made from the mature female flowers and leaves of the drug cannabis, thus having a much higher THC content. Hash oil should not be confused with hemp, as the modern usage of the word ‘hemp’ is reserved for plants that meet the legal requirement of containing 0.3% THC or less.[citation needed]

Nutrition

Main article: hemp

Hempseeds from which hempseed oilcan be extracted

About 30–35% of the weight of hempseed is an edible oil that contains about 80% as essential fatty acids (EFAs); i.e., linoleic acid,omega-6 (LA, 55%), alpha-linolenic acidomega-3 (ALA, 22%), in addition to gamma-linolenic acidomega-6 (GLA, 1–4%) andstearidonic acidomega-3 (SDA, 0–2%).

The proportions of linoleic acid and alpha-linolenic acid in one tablespoon per day (15 ml) of hempseed oil easily provides human daily requirements for EFAs. Unlike flaxseed oil, hempseed oil can be used continuously without developing a deficiency or other imbalance of EFAs. This has been demonstrated in a clinical study, where the daily ingestion of flaxseed oil decreased the endogenous production of GLA.[6]

In common with other oils, hempseed oil provides 9 kcal/g. Compared with other culinary oils it is low in saturated fatty acids.[7]

Highly unsaturated oils, and especially poor quality oils, can spontaneously oxidize and turn rancid within a short period of time when they are not stored properly; i.e., in a cool/cold, dark place, preferably in a dark glass bottle. Hempseed oil can be frozen for longer periods of storage time. Preservatives (antioxidants) are not necessary for high-quality oils that are stored properly.

Hempseed oil has a relatively low smoke point and is not suitable for frying. Hempseed oil is primarily used as a food oil and dietary supplement, and has been shown to relieve the symptoms of eczema (atopic dermatitis).[8]

Benefits

Hemp is a high protein seed containing all nine of the essential amino acids (like flax). It also has high amounts of fatty acids and fiber as well as containing vitamin E and trace minerals. It has a balanced ratio of omega 3 to 6 fats at around a three to one ratio. This won’t help correct your omega balance if it’s off, but it gives you the right balance to start with.

Further the protein content of the hemp seed is supposed to be very digestible. Many people noted their personal experience of finding that hemp seed protein did not cause bloating or gas, like some of their whey, or other protein shakes did.

And, get this, unlike soy which has super high amounts of phytic acid (that anti-nutrient that prevents us from absorbing minerals), hemp seed doesn’t contain phytic acid. At the very least, this makes hemp seed a step up from soy.

The Body Ecology Diet site has an article discussing hemp here.

It contains a list of benefits including what I mentioned above plus including some others as well.

Hemp contains:

* All 20 amino acids, including the 9 essential amino acids (EAAs) our bodies cannot produce.
* A high protein percentage of the simple proteins that strengthen immunity and fend off toxins.
* Eating hemp seeds in any form could aid, if not heal, people suffering from immune deficiency diseases. This conclusion is supported by the fact that hemp seed has been used to treat nutritional deficiencies brought on by tuberculosis, a severe nutrition blocking disease that causes the body to waste away.3
* Nature’s highest botanical source of essential fatty acid, with more essential fatty acid than flax or any other nut or seed oil.
* A perfect 3:1 ratio of Omega-6 Linoleic Acid and Omega-3 Linolenic Acid – for cardiovascular health and general strengthening of the immune system.
* A superior vegetarian source of protein considered easily digestible.
* A rich source of phytonutrients, the disease-protective element of plants with benefits protecting your immunity, bloodstream, tissues, cells, skin, organs and mitochondria.
* The richest known source of polyunsaturated essential fatty acids.

This article claims that because hemp’s protein is in the globulin edistin form it is a superior source of protein. It ends that thought with this paragraph.

“The best way to insure the body has enough amino acid material to make the globulins is to eat foods high in globulin proteins. Since hemp seed protein is 65% globulin edistin, and also includes quantities of albumin, its protein is readily available in a form quite similar to that found in blood plasma. Eating hemp seeds gives the body all the essential amino acids required to maintain health, and provides the necessary kinds and amounts of amino acids the body needs to make human serum albumin and serum globulins like the immune enhancing gamma globulins. Eating hemp seeds could aid, if not heal, people suffering from immune deficiency diseases. This conclusion is supported by the fact that hemp seed was used to treat nutritional deficiencies brought on by tuberculosis, a severe nutrition blocking disease that causes the body to waste away. [Czechoslovakia Tubercular Nutritional Study, 1955] “

reference for above centered “benefits section):

 http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2009/03/hemp-seed-nutritional-value-and-thoughts.html

[edit]Wood finish

Hemp oil is a “drying oil”, as it can polymerize into a solid form. Due to its polymer-forming properties, hemp oil is used on its own or blended with other oils, resins, and solvents as an impregnator and varnish in wood finishing, as a pigment binder in oil paints, as a plasticizer and hardener in putty. It has uses similar to Linseed oil and characteristics similar totung oil.[9]

click here for reference information for the above hemp seed oil portion of the post

_______________________________

Foods to avoid to heal Cancer more effectively:

Red meat and refined sugars are a bad idea. If you need more protein, I suggest eating raw shelled hemp seeds. Any vegetarian having trouble getting enough protein in their diet should buy some. A serving of 3 tablespoons packs 10 grams of protein! If you have a sweet tooth, try to stay away from the white sugar and any sugars that have been through a lengthy refining process. Natural sugars such as honey or molasses and naturally occurring sugars in fruit are a good option.

Red Meat

A March 2012 study from Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH) researchers has found that red meat consumption is associated with an increased risk of total, cardiovascular, and cancer mortality. The results also showed that substituting other healthy protein sources, such as fish, poultry, nuts, and legumes, was associated with a lower risk of mortality.

click here to learn more

Refined Sugar

n 1931, German biologist Otto Heinrich Warburg won a Nobel Prize for his research into the causes of cancer. In his studies, Warburg found that cancerous tumors fueled their growth through the metabolism of glucose — digested sugar. Although some scientists rejected Warburg’s theories for many decades, recent studies have drawn connections between different types of cancer and refined sugar intake.

Insulin Resistance and Cancer

The pancreas works with your digestive system to produce the hormone insulin, which aids in the metabolism of glucose. When you eat carbohydrates, the pancreas automatically releases insulin to help break the carbs down into glucose to fuel your cells. If you are insulin-resistant and eating a diet of primarily high-glycemic foods, your pancreas becomes overworked and cannot keep up with the demand for insulin, allowing glucose to build up in your bloodstream. Insulin resistance increases your risk of several diseases, including Type 2 diabetes, heart disease and some cancers. To prevent cancer, the World Cancer Research Fund and the American Institute for Cancer Research recommended against consuming sugary beverages and snacks in a 2007 report.

Research into Specific Cancers

Many later studies have shown a direct connection between insulin resistance, high-glycemic diets and certain types of cancer. In a study of more than 2,500 women published in the “Annals of Oncology” in 2001, the findings supported a connection between insulin resistance and breast cancer development. Another study published in the “American Journal of Epidemiology” in 2006 followed 16,000 Norwegian men for 27 years and found insulin resistance to be a predictor of prostate cancer. An analysis of a study conducted in Italy from 1986 to 1992 published in the “Annals of Oncology” in 2008 drew a link between high-glycemic diets and thyroid cancer risk.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/465680-refined-sugar-cancer/#ixzz2B0y79ySl

click here to learn more

_______________________________

_______________________________

How Much Oil Should the Patient take?

Beginning dosing of this medication is truly tiny for most individuals. The patient should eat their doses, not smoke them. I have had people who have smoked their tears out of desperation due to a lack of cannabis flowers, but it does not do you nearly as much good to smoke it. If you are in severe pain, the lungs can be the fastest way for the medication to begin to ease it, but this method does not offer the deeper levels of healing that eating it can give you.

Tears made properly have been through a process known as decarboxylation that makes the compounds within the cannabis plant more easily used by the body’s endocannabinoid system when ingested. Be careful not to overheat your medication either. You lose your active compounds if you cook with too much heat. Never store your cannabis oil in the sunshine, though it does not need to be refrigerated (it actually becomes too thick to get out of the oral syringe if it is too cold…) if your meds won’t flow from the syringe, try putting upright in a cup of warm water for 10-15 minutes. Be sure the syringe opening is pointing towards the ceiling  You don’t want the hassle of trying to reclaim your tears from the cup of water)

The term “decarboxylation” literally means removal of the COOH (carboxyl group) and its replacement with a proton. The term simply relates the state of the reactant and product. Decarboxylation is one of the oldest organic reactions, since it often entails simple pyrolysis, and volatile products distill from the reactor. Heating is required because the reaction is less favorable at low temperatures. Yields are highly sensitive to conditions. In retrosynthesis, decarboxylation reactions can be considered the opposite of homologation reactions, in that the chain length becomes one carbon shorter. Metals, especially copper compounds,[1] are usually required. Such reactions proceed via the intermediacy of metal carboxylate complexes.

Beginners should ingest 1/2-1 grain of rice sized dab of oil 2-3 times a day. Doses must be increased with the patient’s tolerance.

_______________________________

How many grams to a milliliter of phoenix tears oil?

I do NOT recommend people be on the oil and chemotherapy/radiation at the same time they are on the oil. When people do that, the oil spends all its time repairing the damage that the chemo/radiation caused within their body and does not seem to fight the cancer as effectively (takes more oil and a longer duration of therapy if they are determined to keep up with the “big pharma” solutions.) I have seen people who made the choice to stay on chemo and they still got better on the oil… It is all a matter of free will in the end.
I guess the point of that is: Don’t make the oil’s job any harder than it already is by introducing more poison into the system.

_______________________________

Side Effects of the oil?

Some patients find it a bad idea to take the oil on an empty stomach (usually people who have issues with SEVERE nausea anyway). Those patients should take their doses with a meal. Some patients find the taste undesirable  For those patients, I recommend either putting the oil in a vegetable capsule (almost any vitamin shop or health food store carries empty ones) or they could put the dose on a piece of bread and swallow it like a pill.

Most patients start with a dab of oil that is about the size of a grain of rice (and for some people, even that is too potent because they dislike the psychoactive effects… those individuals begin on 1/2 of a grain of rice sized dose)
This dose should be taken 2-3 times a day until the patient begins to notice a drop off in the psychoactive effects and/or a drop off in the ways the oil had been helping.

For many patients, they notice a drop off in the appetite stimulation at this point. When the patient reaches this treatment plateau, you begin increasing the dose amount (within the patient’s tolerance for the oil/psychoactive effects)
The goal is to reach a total weight of one gram per day. The syringes I fill are clearly marked with 1ml graduations. 1ml=1.2 grams of oil.

Some patients have experienced visual hallucinations on this medication. This can be quite unnerving the first time it happens, however most of the patients I have dealt with describe very pleasant “trips” such as sitting on a cloud and speaking with their creator or having the feeling of balls of light invading the body and healing them. Hallucinations tend to happen more often in older patients and in patients who have no prior experience with cannabis (never even smoked a joint). If the patient finds the hallucinations uncomfortable or wants to avoid the experience, reduce dosing until a tolerance is built.

Some patients find they will run a fever off and on during the therapy. Often it is localized to the area where the cancer is (warm to the to the touch) I am a firm believer in letting a fever run it’s course unless it gets to a level where it is dangerously high {about 104 for adults or sustained 102 (constant not up and down) for a few days….} and even then there are plenty of non-big pharma ways to lower the temp…. several herbs do the trick well…. there are even plenty of non-chemical ways to lower a dangerous fever. Most people reach for the tylenol if they are even a degree above what they think they should be… they are damaging their liver and not even giving their immune system the benefit of the purpose of a fever… to help your immune system get rid of whatever invader it is responding to. click here for wikipedia article on fevers

This medication is psychoactive and there is really no way around “feeling high” while you are on it. People who hate the psychoactive effects should take their largest dose of medication primarily at night when they want to sleep anyway. Caregivers should be aware of a fall hazard to the patient. Some people it makes a bit unsteady on their feet, especially when getting up for the bathroom at night. For males with this issue, I recommend a bedside urinal to reduce the danger of a fall. Same solution works for ladies (a bedpan) but fewer women are willing to use a bedpan than men are willing to use a urinal.

If you are ingesting cannabis oil that has been made properly at all, You WILL test positive for cannabis use on any drug test. Most regular cannabis smokers know that you will test positive for weed for about 30 days after smoking it. It is important to note that the 30 days rule of thumb DOES NOT APPLY TO CANNABIS OIL. Those who have ingested cannabis oil (particularly at high doses) could test positive for cannabis in a drug test up to 90 days after the treatment has stopped.

What Solvent to use?

What solvent you use to create your cannabis oil is very important. If you are thinking of making your own oil, please take the time to educate yourself on the benefits and risks of any solvent you are thinking of using.

I recommend use of food grade alcohol and nothing else for beginners (because the solvent is already food grade, it is good for beginners who are learning the method… that way, IF any solvent is left behind due to inexperience, it is still safe to consume. Those proficient with use of alcohol as a solvent may then begin using isopropyl alcohol 91% (rubbing alcohol) once they have learned to tell when no solvent remains. If you use a still, you can reclaim your solvent for reuse to cut down on costs.

There have been cases of people eating cold water extracted hash or kief and seeing benefits as well. You just have to eat a higher volume of those substances because they are in a less concentrated form.

Butane

 Someone actually said to me….. ” Butane is so safe,it is used in food with no label”

Is that why I (and many others) cannot tolerate butane extracted hash? is that why it makes my body ache every time I smoke it? again… I will follow my common sense and you follow yours….

“Despite its usefulness, butane is also a toxic chemical. Inhalation of the gas can lead to drowsiness, narcosis, cardiac arrhythmia, frostbite, and death from asphyxiation, acute toxicity, and ventricular fibrillation. Butane inhalation is the most common single cause of solvent-related death. Thus, butane needs to be handled with care.”
http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Butane

Naphtha

I do not believe that Naphtha should be used to create this medication for ANYONE. I have received a great deal of hate for taking this position, however this substance is dangerous on MANY levels and I cannot in good conscience stop educating people on it’s dangers when others are actively encouraging its use. Many people have subtle or undiagnosed multiple chemical sensitivities. There are many reasons Naphtha is not a healthy solvent. I encourage you to read this post that speaks in detail about the dangers (just click this sentence)

and watch this video:

Please also be sure to read the commentary on both versions of this video. I kindly call it a debate, but anyone who reads it will see that I have taken a great deal of heat for educating people to the dangers of using the petrochemical naphtha  to create cannabis oil.

Commentary on the first version of the video.

Commentary on the second version of the video.

 

_______________________________

Cannabis Oil Stains/Cleanup

This oil will stain fabric and just about anything you get it on. It can be very difficult to clean up when spilled. ISO alcohol is the best method I have found to clean up spills and messes. It does not always take stains out of fabric (time is of the essence in treating those stains), but it is excellent for cleaning up spills just about everywhere else. Syringes I provide have a toothpick in the opening of the syringe that MUST be removed prior to pressing on the plunger to get your dose. Keep that toothpick in the syringe when not actually taking a dose to reduce medication loss. You should also release some of the pressure on the plunger (by pulling it back out some post dose time) every time you use it for the same reason. Putting oil in capsules, and the capsules in a pill bottle is the most effective way  I have found to dose “on the go” (while the patient is away from home, i.e. out running errands).

_______________________________

Ronnie Smith taught me how to make the oil. Mr. Smith has been making the Cannabis oil for 6 years and has seen over 250 of his patients be cured by this amazing plant gifted to the animal kingdom by the loving creator responsible for us all. Mr. Smith of marijuanaman.com provides the following information sheet to his patients.

__________
Hemp Oil Dosage Information

__________

It takes the average person about 90 days to ingest the full 60 gram treatment. I suggest that people start with 3 doses per day about half the size of a grain of dry rice. A dose such as this would equal about ¼ of a drop. After four days at this dosage, increase your doses every four days until you are at the point where you are ingesting about 1 gram in 24 hours, so each dose should equal 1/3 of a gram.

It takes the average person about 5 weeks to get to the point where they can ingest a gram per day. Once they reach this dosage they can continue at this rate until the cancer disappears. A gram is 1.2 milliliters.

By using this method it allows the body to build up its tolerance slowly, in fact, I have many reports from people who took the oil treatment and never got ‘high’. We all have different tolerances for any medication. Your size and body weight have little to do with your tolerance for hemp oil.

Be aware when commencing treatment with hemp oil that it will lower your blood pressure, so if you are currently taking blood pressure medication, it is very likely that you will no longer need it.

When people are taking the oil, I like to see them stay within their comfort zone, but the truth is, the faster you take the oil the better the chance of surviving. At the end of their treatment most people continue taking the oil but at a much reduced rate. 6 to 12 grams a year would be a good maintenance dose. I do not like to see people overdosing on the oil, but an overdose does no harm. The main side effect of this medication is sleep and rest which plays an important role in the healing process. Usually, within an hour or so of taking a dose, the oil is telling you to lay down and relax. Don’t fight the sleepy feeling, just lay down and go with it. Usually within a month, the daytime tiredness associated with this treatment fades away but the patient continues to sleep very well at night. The only time I would recommend that people start out with larger doses would be to get off addictive and dangerous pain medications. When people who are using such medications begin the oil treatment, they usually cut their pain medications in half. The object is to take enough oil to take care of the pain and to help the patient get off these dangerous pharmaceutical drugs. Taking the oil makes it much easier for the patient to get off these addictive chemicals.

I simply tell people the oil will do one of two things; it will either cure your cancer or in cases where it is too late to affect a cure, the oil will ease their way out and they can at least die with dignity. Hemp oil has a very high success rate in the treatment of cancer; unfortunately many people who come to me have been badly damaged by the medical system with their chemo and radiation etc. The damage such treatments cause have a lasting effect and people who have suffered the effects of such treatments are the hardest to cure. It should also be mentioned that the oil rejuvenates vital organs like the pancreas. Many diabetics who have taken the oil find that after about six weeks on the oil that they no longer require insulin since their pancreas is again doing its job. Properly made hemp medicine is the greatest healer on this planet bar none. Once you experience what this medication can do you will understand why history and I call hemp medicine a cure all.

_______________________________

A bit of Cancer poetry for thought…

To Whom It May Concern
I was run over by the truth one day.
Ever since the diagnosis I have been this way
So burn my body with radiation
Tell me lies about cancer.

Heard the alarm clock screaming with pain,
Couldn’t find myself so I went back to sleep again
So fill my veins with Chemo
burn my body with radiation
Tell me lies about cancer. Every time I shut my eyes, all I see is pain.
Made a little ribbon to remember all the names
So empty out my bank account
fill my veins with chemo
burn my body with radiation
Tell me lies about cancer.I hear they are thinking surgery, hope it’s not my brains.
They’re only cuttin wishes and feeding casket sales
So numb my brain with Morphine
empty out my bank  account
fill my veins with chemo
burn my body with radiation
Tell me lies about cancer.Where were you at the time of the crime?
Ripping up the hippocratic oath, just to make a dime?
So chain my Life with hopelessness
numb my brain with Morphine
empty out my bank account
fill my veins with chemo
burn my body with radiation
Tell me lies about cancer
You put your doctors in, they take their conscience out,
They take the human being and they twist it all about
So take my world away
chain my Life with hopelessness
numb my brain with Morphine
empty out my bank account
fill my veins with chemo
burn my body with radiation
Tell me lies about cancer– 
There is a cure for cancer…
how many beautiful women and men need to be butchered
because doctors want to run from the cure
for the sake of monetary gain?

_______________________________

_______________________________

Thinking of beginning on this therapy for yourself or a loved one?  Please be sure that the patient and the patient’s caregiver have seen the “Run from the Cure” movie and are willing to ingest cannabis.

Do you need a DVD copy of the video to show a loved one who does not have internet access?  Click Here to order a copy for $2 plus the cost of shipping.

_______________________________

Here is a video of how to make the oil.

 Please also visit the text tutorial here:

http://phoenixtears.ca/make-the-medicine/

_______________________________

Keep Reading for more Information on this therapy, 

 

_______________________________

What It Does & How It Works

excerpt from link:

If you are looking for a safe medication, look no further than what the hemp plant can provide. On top of all that it’s a medicine we can all grow and produce ourselves. Also there is no need for a doctor’s supervision with its use.

When the hemp plant is grown for medicinal use, you now have your own medical system that is much safer and effective than anything our current medical system provides. You still may require a doctor to set your broken leg, but you will no longer need the chemicals they have been pushing upon us.

Hemp is medicine for the masses and no one has the right to control its use. We are all different and we all have different tolerances for practically everything. So it is up to each and every one of us to determine for ourselves how much oil we require to maintain good health.

Over the years people have come to me who after years of treatment by the medical system did not even have a diagnosis for their conditions. But the oil exercised its amazing healing power and their medical problems were solved.

Another aspect of the use of hemp as medicine is its anti-aging properties. As we age, our vital organs deteriorate and of course this impairs the function of these organs.

Hemp oil rejuvenates vital organs even in small doses it is very common for people to report to me that they feel 20 to 30 years younger after only ingesting the oil for a short time.

Now let’s take it to the next level. What about people who ingest larger quantities of oil over a longer period of time like myself? After 9 years on the oil my body does not appear to be that of a 60 year old man. Instead, my body has the appearance of someone who is a great deal younger. When I have the oil at my disposal I like to take about a quarter of a gram a day. Of course, due to short supply, quite often I must go without so my own treatment has been erratic to say the least.

From my own experience with the oil I cannot help but wonder what would happen if a person was to ingest larger quantities of oil over a longer period of time. If a person were to do this, can they actually reverse the aging process and grow younger instead of aging.

From the oils effect on my own body by all appearances this seems to be the case. Someday soon when I have enough oil I intend to start taking a gram a day for a year to see what effect it has on my body.

Many people who have taken the oil have stated that they thought it to be the fountain of youth. From my own experiences with the oil I believe this to be true.

Please also see dosing information: http://phoenixtears.ca/dosage-information/

Please also see testimonials: http://phoenixtears.ca/testimonials/

_______________________________

Whose oil can you trust?

please also read: http://phoenixtears.ca/articles/whose-oil-can-you-trust/

I make oil/give away oil and even sell oil, however, I DO encourage everyone to learn how to make their own medicine. That being said, I understand that not everyone has the desire or strength to make the oil for themselves.

You can make a monetary donation to help keep the free tears going by clicking this sentence  we began this link for art supplies, but have used it to accept donations online as well. remember that healing is an art as well.

_______________________________

Want to read more about the success people are seeing with this oil?

_______________________________

Cannabis Oil Success Stories

is a group on Facebook. It is full of knowledgeable individuals who have seen the healing that can come from this therapy. Often, people have to hide the fact they are on this treatment for fear of persecution/prosecution. Cannabis Oil Success Stories gives people on the therapy a forum to share information and to help each other get through any bumps along the road during therapy. They lend support to both patients and caregivers who are embarking on this Cannabis Healing Journey.

_______________________________

This medication is very effective when used topically  Please take a look at these stories!

_______________________________

Phoenix Tears Healing a Diabetic Ulcer (8 months of treatment)

I must admit that I have not updated you all on this story in FAR too long. I must also admit that all I was truly able to do for this ulcer is to prevent it from becoming overly dangerous to a very resistive patient. I could have achieved more success had I been able to convince Fat Freddy (the patient) to stop wearing his suspenders. I believe that the wound began as a pressure sore from those suspenders, and as long as he continues to wear them, he will continue to have a sore there. During my prolonged illness this summer, I had someone else take over his wound care. Initially, they did not follow instructions or treat his wound and within a few weeks, his shoulder looked like the “before” images in the below video. When therapy resumed, his wound resumed the healing process and was back to the level of healing it had been when I last provided documentation. I have a few videos and images that have been piling up on this story, however due to the patient’s stubbornness, I have little faith that this wound will ever truly heal. What can be done is continuing the therapy and preventing a major infection in a geriatric body.

_______________________________

Patient testimonial “I have cancer, cancer does not have me”

This is a patient under Mr. Ronnie Smith’s care. Mr. Smith runs marijuanaman.com. The video was created by the patient and the audio track was added by Ms. Breezy.

_______________________________

Cured: A Cannabis Story (A Film By David Triplett)

Cannabis cured David Triplett’s skin cancer. The above video is his story.

It has been proven that concentrated cannabis extract oil cures cancer.

Why hasn’t The U.S. National Cancer Institute or The American Cancer Society tested Cannabis Oil?. Is it lack of personnel (2,100 USNCI staff members) or limited financial support (USNCI 2010 budget of $5.1 Billion dollars!)

Cannabis Concentrate or extract is the same as Rick Simpson’s “Hemp Oil”. Hemp seed oil is NOT what Rick Simpson is making and using.

Google “cannabinoids” and “cancer”.
Google “endocannabinoids” and “cancer”
Google “THC” and “Cancer”.
Google pubmed, go there and look up “endocannabinoids” and “cancer”, as well as “cannabinoids” and “cancer”.

*****Note, in the interest of full disclosure,  David Triplett is not my personal patient. His story is so powerful that I felt the need to include it here with this information.

_______________________________

See the effects of Cannabis oil on a Parkinson’s Patient

This is a patient under Mr. Ronnie Smith’s care. Mr. Smith runs marijuanaman.com

_______________________________

Stopping Epileptic seizures with Hemp Oil

This is a patient under Mr. Ronnie Smith’s care. Mr. Smith runs marijuanaman.com

A Note from Breezy on Seizures
If you have seizures, strain choice can make a big difference. For some patients with seizures, a concentrated form of cannabis is not even necessary when the right strain choices of flowers for smoking are available. Generally, any strain from the white widow branch of the cannabis family tree is a good choice. Please view the Cannabis products and Colorado Dispensary Reviews Page here on kiefair.com for more information on strain choice for epilepsy and several other conditions. Check the description of the videos for more information.

_______________________________

txt msg from a patient’s daughter who wishes anonymity:

“I hope you are in the mood to be showered with praise. I want you to hear what YOUR medicine is doing. Mom outlived her prognosis. She is feeling as healthy as a horse. Labs are great. Tumors have shrunk even more. There is NO new metastasis. Doctor doesn’t know what to think. This is shaking him up a bit. He says her chemo would not do this and even if it did, there is no way she could be this healthy. Breezy you are a true gift from God!”

~anonymous daughter of a cancer patient

This is a patient under Ms. Breezy Kiefair’s care. Ms. Breezy runs kiefair.com

_______________________________

Message from anonymous Chronic Back Pain Patient

back injury patient…. the injury has long since healed as far as it wants to, but the pain has stuck around for them making work/day to day life difficult. She had this to say regarding their night spent sleeping with a gram of phoenix tears oil in a capsule…..

“I slept like a rock last night only after spinning like crazy. Think that was a little too much even for me! Had the worst case of cotton mouth ever and I think I am still feeling the effects. just got home from cleaning my aunts bathrooms woo that was an easy $50″

~anonymous back pain patient

This is a patient under Ms. Breezy Kiefair’s care. Ms. Breezy runs kiefair.com

_______________________________

On Use of Phoenix Tears to Treat

Severe Pain or Chronic Intractable Pain

_______________________________

Higher dosing may be necessary for those with severe pain. Dosing for Intractable pain can match that of a cancer patient (a gram a day), and in some cases even exceed it. Remember folks… your nervous system can only send so many pain signals to the brain before the brain senses an attack/danger of some kind. Your brain may not understand in the least what the threat is or where it is coming from… enough pain=physiological responses to a threat in the brain. Once the threat is sensed, it turns on our most primitive parts of the brain out of sheer survival mode…. when someone is bathed in adrenalyne because of their pain, they are not really themselves any more… there is a primitive auto-pilot in the captains chair that doesn’t give a damn about logic or reason or anything other than mitigating the threat it thinks is there because of all the pain signals. Real Niacin (not niacinamide) can help circumvent this cycle, but only if you can tolerate the flushing (remember itching powder you could put in someone’s drink? remember how it said it was harmless? that is because it was niacin)

This also explains why people can be exhausted, weak and seemingly unable to even rise out of bed one moment, and then when that adrenaline kicks in… why, you’re a screaming banshee with all the energy you could possibly need to destroy yourself and those you love around you? I try to channel it into things like getting caught up on cleaning, or directing the anger/passion somewhere (anywhere) it is more deserved than on my loved ones….. if that means crafting a letter to the government telling them what’s up or if that means telling someone that really needs to hear it in a powerful way what the causes their actions are having… I try to direct all that adrenaline into more positive places when it happens, but it is such a negative feeling that it is really easy to loose track of the fact that there is no real threat other than the ones coming from your own central nervous system…

I learned most of this through attempting to treat my own severe intractable pain. If you would like to read up on the science behind these involuntary responses, I suggest you read the article on wikipedia regarding the Fight-or-Flight response to stressors. 

_______________________________

Fibromyalgia and Cannabis oil

I believe that fibromyalgia patients need to supplement with cannabis oil. There is research that suggests the disease may be a disorder/deficiency in the endocannabinoid system. Here is a link for the fibro peeps on the endocannabinoid system and their potential deficiency….
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15159679

_______________________________

Not Every Story is a clear success…

In some cases, all that can be done is to ease the passing of a dear friend with the only mercy you can find. Sometimes the cure just gets there too late to do much more than ease the pain of passing away. Sometimes people are just too stubborn and wait too long to begin treatment. Other times, the knowledge of this treatment remains elusive to the patient or their loved one’s attention  until there just isn’t enough time left for the oil to work. We had a pet owner recently who valiantly tried to save his best friend’s life (his dog). Duke the Cancer fighting dog may not have had the “happy ending” we were all hoping for, but it did make the end of life less painful for this dog. We also got word that after the pooch no longer could use the medicine, his human companion was able to use the oil and see the benefits in his own body. Sometimes it’s a mixed blessing like that. This is a joint patient under Mr. Ronnie Smith and Ms. Breezy Kiefair’s care. Mr. Smith runs marijuanaman.com and Ms. Breezy Kiefair runs kiefair.com

_______________________________

Gramps’ Cannabis Oil & Cancer Journey

*****Note, in the interest of full disclosure,  ”Gramps”  is not my personal patient. His story is so powerful that I felt the need to include it here with this information.

from the healing files of Auntie Debi Phillips
“I am so sorry I haven’t got back to you. First the hand: fantastic. Almost totally healed, after the first treatment with the oil all inflammation was gone infection was almost cleared up, I aired it all day then just washed it & re-bandaged it . I had had an allergic reaction to the lasik they used & had a bad red burn around I that hurt. The next morning it was gone, burn healed. The scar tissue that had formed before oil had been so tight I could hardly move my thumb, after the oil it became elastic again & I’ve been able to move my thumb again without pain. Yesterday the skin graft they put on it fell off & the wound looks fantastic. Going to treat with oil again & a sore the Dr. Wants to remove when I go next time on my elbow. I don’t want to have it cut on like this one so if I treat it now I’m praying when he scraps it again this time there won’t be any cancer cells this time & when he wonders why I am handing him educational material, maybe he will convert or at least be receptive.

I am so grateful for saving my hand. I really believe if you hadn’t sent the oil I wouldn’t be able to use my thumb & first finger. I’ve also been working as secretary where my life partner works as a mechanic. I have two more spots of skin cancer. I”m gonna take pictures of before & during treatment & the end results also.” (Debi is breezy’s adopted auntie)

_______________________________

What is the bottom line if you desire to make the oil yourself or are unable to make it?

_______________________________

It takes one pound of cannabis to create 2 ounces of oil. For those who are financially secure, the price for the cure is $2,000. The smallest amount I can sell is one oral syringe of oil for $500. 1 oral syringe = 12 grams of treatment.
12 grams is about 1 month’s worth of medicine for the beginner. It takes 5 syringes (2 ounces) to cure most cases of cancer.

_______________________________

Free Phoenix Tears???

I have a free phoenix tears patient to patient program for those who are low income or out of the treatment temporarily.

_______________________________

Unfortunately, demand for the free oil is so high that (as I type 10/29/12) I am looking at a month before that line even moves,  I do triage people based on severity of illness and financial need for the free list. Please remember that I provide these mercies out of my own pocket. Donations of raw materials or monetary support are few and far between. When they happen, I am grateful. When support is absent, I still try and find a way to serve those in need regardless of ability to pay.

I know that waiting on someone else’s mercy is one of the hardest things to do in the world. Especially when you are waiting on something that could save your life (or your loved one’s life)
I really appreciate your patience my darling patients…

Some people get angry at me during the wait-list period not realizing that I am trying to help as many people as possible with as little as possible… even going unmedicated myself at times to do it… I really hate dry times like these… I try and remind myself and others getting low on patience that I do this out of my own pocket… no one (on any sort of regular basis) donates raw materials to me to get these mercies done.

No matter how much i wish to heal sick people, there have been some I had to harden my heart to because they became abusive… Now, I can understand better than most how pain can turn you into a monster…

If people are able to act like adults later and make amends, my heart softens… if not, then i just have to close the door to contact and feel guilty… (i have taken more than my fair share of abuse in this life already.. verbal and otherwise… and I cannot continue to do this work if I do not set firm boundaries with individuals like this)

Remember! Love and Mercy are things everyone is willing to take and few are willing to give. When the well of kindness that the few give from runs dry, whose responsibility is it to refresh the well we all need to drink of? The “givers” run dry and the “takers” get mad that there is nothing left to give.

To those of you mature enough to stick around for the long haul, I’m saying how much I appreciate working with people like you who see the larger picture. looking like a month or so before the list begins to move again… and cancer waits for no man woman or child. For these cold realities, I apologize.

Free Program and ALL OIL REFERRALS through this site closed as of March 2013 through Kiefair.com due to change in author’s circumstances! I will update if I begin to offer them again. I do still offer informational consultations.

_______________________________

_______________________________

you can also communicate via email:

Contact Breezy for patient to patient compassion and for information regarding cannabis oil btokeefer@gmail.com or friend me on facebook and send me a private message

You can make a monetary donation to help the author by clicking this sentence.

_______________________________

_______________________________

There is a cure for cancer and I am here to help you in your pursuit of life.

_______________________________

i’ve done a lot of time walking with the creator to get from where I was to where I am now…. that’s what faith can do… even if i am a ball of drama 99% of the time because of my past…..

I’ve been able to move from a position of the person with their had out begging to the person filling hands…. read some of the old notes i recently posted…. and then think about how far I have actually come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been long winded (as always), and for that I apologize.

I’d like to speak to Colorado for a moment and it’s voters…. I feel I must leave you with the following thoughts regarding how you cast your vote on the Amendment 64 issue in a few days.

For the record, I STILL do NOT SUPPORT COLORADO CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT 64 Corporate Greed IS NOT LEGAL WEED! Vote NO on Colorado State Constitutional Amendment 64! (or at least read the damn bill and see how corporate minded it is and then make up your mind…. don’t listen to the pamphlets or the tv spots… trust your own reasoning after reading the LANGUAGE you are making yourself subject to!)….. Read the bill and think about who they wrote the bill to benefit… their own freaking pocketbooks, that’s who… read the text of the AMMENDMENT (provided in red letters at the link http://kiefair.com/2012/04/15/colorado-canna-relief-or-cannabis-like-alcohol-you-decide/ ) and then decide how to vote… don’t just think “YAY legal weed” and vote… you’re not getting what you think you are babies!

The bill that is written to serve those who already have money (dispensary owners wanting to convert to party stores to sell to recreational users and stop dealing with us “difficult” sick people). If you read the bills closely, it is really easy to see whom they were written to serve…. the Campaign to Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol serves those already deep in the industry and keeps the grows in corporate hands…. I believe the recreational users should be allowed to grow. It’s just a plant….. When people see the shackles and chains
slapped on them by this bill in reality (the words put into practice) people are going to be just as pissed about these regulations as they are about the regs under hb-1284/sb-109

curious? follow this link and read more: https://www.facebook.com/breezy.kiefair/posts/421373774583285

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
October 25, 2012

Proponents of Amendment 64 Continue their Smoke Screen of Deceit
Denver, CO: Deceit and deception, the folks behind Amendment 64 are becoming masters of spin. Those that have taken the time to think critically about Amendment 64 have determined that the law continues to criminalize marijuana and that simply removing the word prohibition is just a smoke screen used to hide the fact that people will still go to jail for marijuana possession.
They continue their deceit and word spinning while defending themselves from Roger Sherman’s recent criticism of the findings from Colorado Center on Law & Policy stating that Colorado could see $100 million in revenues by 2017. While ending marijuana “prohibition” would certainly generate more income for the state, an almost laughably obvious point, Amendment 64 still criminalizes marijuana possession and positions the initiative to only benefit those with easy access to the significant investment funds needed to meet the requirements of the initiative. Those wanting to build their business in the true American way of starting small and growing big, will be left out in the lurch and probably end up in jail for trying.
Consider the following statements from some of Amendment 64’s largest proponents:
“we believe that once the people of Colorado end marijuana prohibition in the state by passing Amendment 64, there will be far more thought given to whether it is appropriate to force the state to have marijuana sold to non-patients by drug cartels and other criminal enterprises.” Mason Tvert
Amendment 64 is exclusively for its wealthy backers since everyone else will be suspected of having ties to drug cartels and other criminal enterprises requiring additional resources for law enforcement. It begs to question how many minority and low-income communities will be considered as having ties to drug cartels.
And, here is Art Way’s line by line breakdown of what Roger Sherman said followed by the Denver 420 Rally’s line by line analysis in bold:
“Art Way, Senior Policy Manager for the Drug Policy Alliance in Colorado, is and has been part of that reform. He is a fifth generation native of Denver’s eastside and a virulent advocate for issues impacting his community.”
No, Art Way is a sell out to big business. That is his new community. If he were truly a community advocate he would help those in his community, who by birth into dire circumstances became drug dealers as a means of survival, become legal. Instead he advocates for an initiative that will continue to incriminate those in his community by creating unrealistic limitations on marijuana possession for those choosing to grow six plants and by requiring significant investments to start a legal operation, money that is not easily accessible to minority and low-income communities. The issues that plague Art’s community will continue, only now under the word criminalization instead of prohibition.
“The Legislative Council staff is well-respected. And their analysis is sound. But their analysis is more limited. The CCLP report includes excise tax revenue and the Blue Analysis did not factor in the savings that will be realized when the police and courts no longer enforce prohibition. Legislative Council did not include those two factors.”
Bold faced lie. The courts and law enforcement will still be enforcing a different form of prohibition. Amendment 64 is nothing more than a play on words. It still clearly and quite obviously criminalizes marijuana. So, the Blue Analysis did not factor in the savings from no longer needing to enforce “prohibition” because instead they will still be enforcing the criminal penalties set forth by Amendment-64. Therefore, they will not be realizing the saving that the analysis by the Colorado Center on Law and Policy claims because the Legislative Council sees through the play on words that Amendment 64 uses to deceive the public.
###
Contact: Miguel Lopez, Denver 420 Rally
(720) 338-8766

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am also very disappointed in the CDPHE for not approving PTSD on the Colorado APPROVED conditions list for a medicinal cannabis card…. THE PEOPLE petitioned to have it added as afforded by Amendment 20. Are you incapable of handling the research? I guess you want our soldiers offing themselves for a job done for their country? You have no heart and no business controlling our medicine.” read more: http://www.gazette.com/articles/veterans-145207-group-marijuana.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colorado Department Of Public Health and Environment website

 Colorado Medical Marijuana Registry Home Page

Information every low income applicant to the Colorado Medical Marijuana Registry should know

2012-02-08 HEY COLORADO DISPENSARIES ~TAX EXEMPT MEANS TAX EXEMPT!

Effective January 1, 2012, the Registry will no longer accept Food Stamp and Supplemental Security Income letters as proof of low-income status.
Patients with a household income that is 185% of the Federal Poverty Level or less, qualify for fee waiver. The chart below indicates the annual household incomes, adjusted for family size, that qualify.
Household incomes at 185% of 2012  Federal Poverty Guidelines*
# in Family Annual Income
1 $20,664.50
2 $27,990.50
3 $35,316.50
4 $42,642.50
5 $49,968.50
6 $57,294.50
7 $64,620.50
8 $71,946.50
Each Additional $ 7,067.00

Source: Federal Register, Vol 75, No. 17, January 26, 2012, ppl 4034-4035

*Poverty guidelines are updated periodically in the Federal Register by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services under the authority of 42 U.S.C. 9902(2)

To apply for a Fee Waiver/Tax Exempt Status, patients must:

1. Request a certified copy of their most current State tax returnfrom the Department of Revenue. Tax returns must be within the last two years to qualify. Patients can request a certified copy of their tax return by completing form DR-5714 ‘Request for Copy of Tax Returns’ available atwww.colorado.gov/cms/forms/dor-tax/dr5714.pdf.pdf logo The form must be completed, notarized and sent to the Colorado Department of Revenue for processing.

2. Complete form MMR1010 Request for Fee Waiver/Tax-Exempt Status. 1010.pdf pdf file .

3. Send the Request for Fee Waiver/Tax-Exempt Status form and the certified copy of the most current State tax return with the patient’s application.

4. Patients who already have a Medical Marijuana Registration Card, may submit form MMR 1010 and a copy of their certified State tax return to have their card status modified to “Tax Exempt.”

You Can’t see my pain with your eyes. The only thing that relieves my pain is Cannabis! You could never imagine the pain I suffer, yet you deny me my freedom. Image by: The Art of Breezy Kiefair for the Reefer Gurl Facebook page

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

as always, thank you for your time and attention in reading this. If you found it useful or of value please share it with your friends. Did I miss something you think needs covered? Please comment in a respectful manner or message me so that the issue has been brought to my attention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Respectfully,
Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer
AKA Breezy Kiefair

links about breezy
blog

Reefer Gurl “like” page on FB
Gardening Tips for the Medically Damned “like” page on FB
the more in depth, needs editing, 31 page version to help you understand why i sit at my machine fighting the machine day in and day out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Do all that you can to cultivate peace within yourself, that it might
shine out from you, and plant the seed of peace in other spirits, for them
to cultivate.~{Remember… it is when we choose act on the issues that are in front of
our faces, when we choose to get involved instead of looking the other way
as our fellow man struggles, when we choose to take those small simple
little actions, working on righting little wrongs in our everyday lives that
really make change happen, those seemingly small actions are what really
make the world a better place and are a catalyst for greater social change.}
~Both quotes by Breedheen “Bree” O’Rilley Keefer~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Always remember you can tell what a person really believes in by their actions… your actions prove to all the world who and what you bow down to in this life… Your actions tell people what your free will wants far louder and more plainly than your words ever could… When you are gone, those same seemingly small actions will give you exactly what you deserve.. to quote a long forgotten bit of poetry I read once on a faded newspaper clipping in a children’s reader from the 1860′s “how will men remember you when that you are gone… the little things you say and do, they shall linger on.”So I ask each of you to take a good look inside your own heads, hearts, spirits and souls and ask yourself… who do you serve? do you serve only yourself and ignore your fellow man? We all have areas we need improvement…. If you look in there and find your actions are not showing what is in your heart, then maybe it’s time to change your behavior to be more in line with the light shining within you however you choose to understand it….. that being said…. have a blessed day fully in line with your own free will and heart….
~Breedheen O’Rilley

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Would you like to pick my brain?

Standard

Would you like to pick my brain today? Will you hear me and just turn away?
Or have you come to lay siege to my heart and to watch me tear my world apart?
Have you come because you are a plant lover, or are you just a plant? Have you come to spew your political slant?

Do you find my content rare and lovely or are my words a beacon of woe for thee?
Do you remain watching because you love it when I stumble, or better still, waiting to see me fall? Do you understand anything about me or do you just laugh at it all?

I’m here every day I am able throwing myself on your digital table.
I research in hopes of an answer to cease the pain.
and ask you all to pray for Colorado Rain again….

I share what i find and I share what I make and get called a bitch and told I’m a fake.
Yet, Each day I say to all who will hear:
“Happy Wake and Bake… Virtual Hits my Dear.”
~ Breezy Kiefair of The Art of Breezy Kiefair

Parody: Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting

Standard

Aye, yah! everybody was gettin in my face fighting, i explain my points as fast as lightning…. in fact I can be a little bit frightening… But I type with expert timing.

They were funky Canna men from funky Cannatown
hey were Marking them buds up and they were chopping them grows down
It’s an ancient Medicinal art and everybody knew their part
From a seed into a smoke, and toking from the bowl

everybody was gettin in my face fighting, i explain my points as fast as lightning…. in fact I can be a little bit frightening… But I type with expert timing.

There was wayward walkin Billy and big Tommy Chong
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand
The sudden motion made me skip now we’re into a brand knew trip

everybody was gettin in my face fighting, i explain my points as fast as lightning…. in fact I can be a little bit frightening… But I type with expert timing.

everybody was gettin in my face fighting, i explain my points as fast as lightning…. in fact I can be a little bit frightening… But I type with expert timing.

Remembering a Murdered boy: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. Happy would-be 13th birthday 7:47pm (birth minute)

Standard

Reblogged from Breezy Kiefair:

  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post

If all works out according to plan, this will be posted on my only child's birth minute on what would have been his 13th birthday.

I have often said that we have a word for people who loose all family members but children (widow/widower, orphan, ect) partially because of historical mortality rates of children and partially because it is a loss so horrible there just isn't a word to describe the feeling.

Read more… 1,985 more words, 2 more videos

UPDATED POST: MOM AND DAD Remembering a Murdered boy: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. Happy would-be 13th birthday 7:47pm (birth minute)

an update from Westley's father at the bottom of the post. I am so very grateful.

A mother’s grief 12 years later: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts

Standard
A mother’s grief 12 years later: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts

It has been 12 years today since your light was snuffed out… I am still here on earth, lingering in a mother’s nowhere-land somewhere between life and death… I am still asking why. I am still lamenting the miscarriage of justice. I have already written extensively on this topic. I have provided my readers with “catch up” links. I don’t have the heart to say much more. I love you Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. I will never forget you or stop holding the memory of your life in my heart.

This is a video of art I have created between March of 2009 and September 2010. It is set to a song written by a friend of mine in real life from High School after the murder of my only child, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts (Westley Keaton means ~man from the field where the Hawks go in Gaelic)

Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts
born 10/24/1998
murdered 05/06/2000
Justice miscarried (murderer acquitted on a technicality Jan 2001)

for more information on Westley’s short life, please see the following blog post:
http://breedheenorilleykeefer.com/2011/10/24/remembering-a-murdered-boy-westley-thorin-keaton-roberts-happy-would-be-13th-birthday-747pm-birth-minute/

A grieving mama far from home needs her baby’s grave tended. In Hillsdale, Michigan there is a catholic cemetery. The link is to the parish.

contact info St. Anthony of Padua Catholic Church
11 N. Broad St.
Hillsdale, MI 49242
Office – 517-437-3305
Fax – 517-437-0034

They should be able to direct you to the cemetery. Just inside the gate by the fair grounds is a big pine tree. Seek out the gravestone of a murdered infant with a puppy on the stone. The name on the stone is Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. Please clear away the leaves from his stone. Please tell him his mother still loves him and is still crying. If you can, please lay some red flowers there or release red balloons with seeds attached, so that love may grow at random for his memory. October 24, 1998 – May 6, 2000 gone far too soon, but my son, I feel your presence still. http://stanthonypadua.catholicweb.com/

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?msid=208245905641388047753.0004bf5ff5a6760bf607c&msa=0&ll=41.90898,-84.626975&spn=0.001601,0.002411&iwloc=0004bf5ff944d0ce89eb1

Why I STILL Give Back!

Standard

April 18, 2012

The average person on social security disability or state assistance due to illness goes under-medicated and often COMPLETELY un-medicated for several weeks out of the month…. At current market prices, few can afford anywhere near their medically necessary doses particularly if they are using cannabis as a part of an opiate reduction/replacement therapy.

Meanwhile, their caregivers grow plants in the names of these low income patients and profit off of the cannabis the low income person is incapable of purchasing for themselves. This “excess” herb goes into concentrates or edibles in the best case, and into the black market in others. Often, the low income person’s medicine is sold out of state where it is worth more. I have been on the registry since June of 2009.
When I began writing for the cannabis cause, I received SSD, SSI, food stamps, medicare and medicaid.  My husband was on disability as well. After the state began encroaching on our benefits by reducing/removing programs without cause or explanation, My husband left me. Under social security, if you are both disabled, you are a single person, not 2 people. He was more capable of paying into the system, so he got a larger check than I.
I was left living on $350 a month plus food stamps. Together it gave me $17.42 to live on. At the beginning of the 2012, I got a cost of living DECREASE. In March, my food stamps were cut to nothing without explanation again. I broke my pelvis and went to the emergency room where I found out I no longer have medicaid. I have been left to live on $10.61 a Day! How am I supposed to afford my medication? I was on the highest legal dosages of medications like Fentanyl. I’ve had opportunity to be with others who are better off than I am and have seen benefits from 7+ grams daily treatment of cannabis via ingestion, smoking, and topical applications. The cheapest dispensaries charge about $25 for 3.5 grams. This means that my medication costs nearly 5 times my daily budget for all my needs  combined (housing, food, clothing, transportation, medication ect.)
How is this in any way sane or compassionate?
It has been a really long, difficult journey. Peraps some people need to be reminded of the road I have traveled. Here are several essays I have written on this topic in chronological order. Please remember that I share my story on behalf of other people who choose not to step forward.

“A Long Strange Journey of 1 Cannabis Patient’s Colorado Cannabis Activsm”
or
“All About Breezy Kiefair”
some of you may have already read most of this on my fb/various blogs/in print magazines… but…. for those who didn’t here goes….. your gonna need a few bowls and maybe
some tissues…. just saying
Article I wrote to be published in Cannabis Health News mag

January 2010 at 2:58am

How KiefAir Keepsakes came to be

Copyrighted material  All Rights Reserved see message at the bottom of essay
Recently, a portion of this essay was published in Cannabis Health News Magazine
You can read that portion of the essay on pages 37-39 here

I tell you this story, not for myself, but for those in similar situations without the strength or ability to speak.

I’ll begin with an Untitled Poem

I sat in the forums
my voice screaming anxiety
My last path of recourse
after failed by society

And then came a Storm-crow
took me under her wing
with a word of kindness
and a link to a forum

Now desperate in my searching
in page after page
I grew angry and shrewish
till time tired my rage

I followed that link
to the place with verdant Passion
Where the welcome is kind
And politeness the fashion!

Once there, I heard the call
of a tired woman in the west
Her heart tired and sore
So I helped her how i knew best.

Now this place was surprising
So different and new
It’s truly a place
Where dreams go to come true.

And along came a sprocket
renegade of the system with his kind words
my heart insisted I must trust him.

I found a Canadian angel
who lived on a farm
Like a mother I’ve always wanted
Keeping all from harm.

And I came to this place,
at first to be heard, then to help business
but what I found there instead
Was warm Love through cold Christmas

The woman in the west
became my morning companion
Alone, in the desert
she was a friend when I had none.

I befriended The renegade sprocket
and what did I find
but exactly the help I needed
Man was the almighty on time!

it’ss a place
to help you get medicine to grow
But what grows alongside
are our dreams and what we know

My name is Breezy Kiefair and I am a writer, artist, and Medical Marijuana Activist from Longmont, CO.
In this essay, I will explore with you the journey that led me first to Medical Marijuana, and then to Medical Marijuana Activism.
Let me begin with some background information. I am a female over 25 and under 40. I have severe and debilitating Fibromyalgia. My illness is of a severity that forces doctors to shake their heads and prescribe one ineffective man made medicine on top of another while I waste away and my quality of life diminishes. The onset of my symptoms began almost instantly after my birth in Canon City, CO in the late 1970′s. I was allergic to my mother’smilk, and for the first 2 years of my life I lived on a strict diet of goat’s milk (and
goat’s milk yogurt), bananas, and whole wheat bread made home-made from whole wheat ground by my mother, and honey. I was allergic to practically everything, and could not tolerate to be in the same room with many everyday substances. I grew stronger as I got older, and a bit less allergic, but I remained fragile.

Breezy’s Bio and Background

One day when I was about three years old, I walked up to my mother with a “Little Golden Book” and began reading. My mother was of course flabbergasted as I read page after page of a story about Donald Duck and Chip n’ Dale. I kept reading to her and finally finished the story. “You memorized that didn’t you?” My mother probed. “No mommy I read it.” I demanded back. I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I was making up a story, so I said “I’m not lying mommy! Give me that paper I’ll prove it to you.” Imagine her surprise as her three year old, sickly, undersized, underweight, little girl began reading the business page to her.
A few months after the day I began reading in the kitchen, my parents decided to get a divorce. Not long after that, the entity then known as the Colorado Department of Social Services (hereafter referred to as DSS, known by several different names since then) began their influence upon my life. They began with regulations on visitation between myself, my siblings and my father. In later years, DSS became my parent.
When I was about 8 years old, I began having problems with headaches and losing consciousness. When I first began to complain of headaches, my grandmother thought it was brought on by my early menstrual cycle. When I continued to complain at all times during my cycle, I was fitted for glasses. When glasses did nothing to stop my complaining, I was taken back to the allergist’s office for years and years of treatment. I was diagnosed with regional inhalant allergies causing asthma, sinus headaches, and a whole host of other symptoms including chronic fatigue and chronic head pain. I was treated me with allergy shots and a barrage of nasal sprays and pills. Years later, when I was still in pain, x rays were in order and they first discovered a tendency for pre-cancerous/cancerous growths in my body. Polyps were removed from my sinus cavities once in childhood and once in adolescence along with the correction of a deviated septum, and removal of my wisdom teeth from my sinus cavity. They fixed all of the “physical deformities” they could find, and yet I was still in pain.
Concurrent with all this allergy history, I was taken away from my family entirely by the State of Colorado. I was placed in a series of foster homes and finally into a totalitarian girls school. During this same time period, the State decided as my sole legal guardian to place me on disability. The state of Colorado had “adopted me” in a sense. My name was changed legally and my parents rights to me as a child were formally, legally and permanently terminated. None of it was my choice (except the name change after years of foster care), it was not discussed with me, I was a child. Let me clarify, the first time I was put on disability, I was in middle school and the State decided as my sole legal guardian to place me on disability.
My medical care as a child was much as it is now, only with the exception that kids get a bit more coverage. Children get dental benefits, I have to wait until a tooth can’t be saved or has a massive infection to even be seen. Being on the program at a young age, I did not accumulate much in the way of work money in my SSI account, although I did attempt to work several times. Unfortunately every time I did try to work, an employer or doctor would get tired of me being sick and put a stop to it one way or another. That is why my monthly amounts from SSI/SSD are so low, not because I am disabled, but because I couldn’t work to pay into the system like the people who receive these benefits only when they reach retirement after a full life of paying in.
Also did you know the government actually penalizes people for getting married if you are both on disability? They treat you as one person and give you one person’s pay! For love, and for spiritual reasons I decided that was a risk I would just have take. So, I married my love who happened to be on disability also anyway, but we will get to that.
In 1994, while I was living at the totalitarian girls school, I wrote in a notebook almost constantly. Nearly every day, my notebooks were confiscated by one staff person or another as “contraband.” They confiscated it not because of what it was, but because of the words I had written in them. There were a few staff members however, that encouraged me to write as much as my muse would allow.
One day, a staff member who was usually very encouraging confiscated my notebook. I was devastated.
This was one of the ones who usually slid me more notebooks on the sly. Little did I know that staff lady had a purpose for confiscating my notebook. She entered some of my poetry in a contest for underprivileged youth who also wrote poetry, and I won the honor along with several other teens!
I was awarded Ginsberg Scholarship up at Naropa University (then the Naropa Institute) during the 20th anniversary festival. For nearly 2 weeks I got out of that hole every day. I got to sit at the feet of Allen Ginsberg, Anne Waldman, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, and many of their contemporaries and learn. There were writing workshops taught by the writers, poetry readings, lectures, so many wonders my poor head just swam with delight. It was an opportunity of a lifetime and I drank deep from its cup.
The first night we were there, the event was a poetry reading. I wanted an unobstructed view, and they had the first 3 rows of the auditorium blocked off for Ginsberg Scholars, so I took a seat in the front row. When the lights dimmed, there was no one on either side of me. When the lights came up for intermission, I looked to my left and there sat Ed Saunders (descendant of Edgar Allen Poe and in the band “The Fugs” and to my right sat Allen Ginsberg. I looked him dead in the eye and said, “You’re Allen Ginsberg aren’t you?” (what a dumb question I thought to myself)
He replied, “Yes I am, and who are you?”
I eagerly gave him my middle name (my birth middle name…. I went by my middle name at the time and my name hadn’t been legally changed yet) He and I and several other Poets and Ginsberg Scholars headed out the door for a smoke at intermission.
Several days later, Mr. Ginsberg and I walked outside together. I seem to remember him making a comment about one of the boys in the group (who happened to be right walking directly in front of us) being sexy. When we got outside, we shared a cigarette. I had none and they were strictly prohibited at the girls school, but the staff person who should have been monitoring me happened to be away. I happened to have a big 4 inch thick binder of poetry. The staff at the school decided to let me have my accumulated confiscated poetry for this special event only.
As we were smoking, Mr. Ginsberg noticed my binder and asked if he could have a peak at it. My trembling hands offered my poetry to this famous, brilliant man. He thumbed through randomly, reading with little expression on his face other than peace. He asked me to point out some of the poems I thought were particularly nice, which I eagerly did. When he was done, he spoke.
“Laura,” (my middle name at the time) he says with a peaceful smile, “If you should ever stop writing, I will haunt you whether I am living or dead, until the day you die.”
That is all he said to me about my writing. In 1997, a few months before I graduated High School, Allen Ginsberg passed away. I was devastated, but I continued to write, never forgetting his threat to haunt me. Life circumstances, prevented me from attending Naropa right out of High School, but the dream of attending this University stuck with me.
During my senior year in 1997, I got a strange illness that nearly prevented me from graduating. I was sore and tired all the time. My head hurt constantly and all I wanted to do was sleep. I was working as an Au Pair for some nice people with 2 boys suffering from ADHD. The mother of the family was a nurse and she took me in to be tested for Mono. All the docs were sure I had mono, but the test came back negative. No one had any answers.
After High School, I did a Jack Kerouac on the road type journey and ended up in Washington DC. I had awful headaches, and aches and pains in general.
“I’m too young to feel like this.” I’d tell myself.
However I had the benefit of youth, and my condition was in remission most of the time.
While living in DC, I met and married a man. We had a child the doctors said could not happen. I began contacting in my 5th month of pregnancy, but I held that baby in until 5 weeks before term. Hearing Westley cry for the first time was one of the biggest highlights of my life… Especially considering the 14 miscarriages before him and the 2 after.
My husband was abusive, so when my son, was 4 months old, I left his daddy to try and prevent abuse. I will skip ahead a bit and just say that Westley was murdered when he was nearly 19 months old. The person I suspect for the crime was tried and acquitted due to an oversight on the part of the prosecuting attorney when giving instructions to the jury.
I spent time in the Pueblo State mental hospital and in jail on suspicion of involuntary manslaughter. The charges against me were deemed unworthy for me to be bound over for trial, but the whole process (from arrest in a mental hospital in Colorado, to 2 weeks in shackles during extradition, to the dropping of the charges in Michigan) took nearly 6 months. I had to stay in Michigan so I could testify, but I had no place to go.
I was placed in the mental hospital again because I was homeless, and the state thought I would be more comfortable in the mental hospital than in a shelter. Grief over my son’s murder was a convenient excuse to have me committed again. Eventually I was placed in an “Assisted Living Home” and I went back on Supplemental Security Income,/Social Security Disability (hereafter SSI/SSD). I did not want to be on these programs at all, but I was too ill to work, and really had no other option if I wanted help from other agencies.
I stayed in that roach infested hole, and watched my condition deteriorate until the trial was over. While I lived there, I met a woman who did some work in exchange for room and board. She was dying of Lupus and cancer, and she smoked cannabis as a medicine to ease her suffering. It was illegal at the time, but I tried it and it did help. However, I was unwilling to be breaking the law on a regular basis. When the trial was over, I found a more affordable and cleaner living arrangement. The woman suffering died a few months after I moved out.
Finances dictated that I stay close by, and I did for 6 years. I had a partner at the time, and we were engaged to be married, but I also had this other friend who was in love with me. He waited 6 years for me to make up my mind about the man I was with. My Fibromyalgia (although we didn’t know to call it that then) progressed from just headaches and a few body aches every sporadically to constant driving pain.
On August 21, 2002 I had my last pain free moment. I have not been in “remission” since then. I have not had one moment completely free from pain since this day. I know because I keep detailed records on my condition. The doctors had no answers for me. They couldn’t even tell me what I had. Yet, they handed out prescription after prescription…… Narcotics, anti-seizure medication, muscle relaxers, nausea pills, blood pressure meds (used off label), anti-depressants (even though I wasn’t depressed,) migraine drugs, on and on until I was taking 20+ different pharmaceuticals every day!
I was accepted into Lansing Community College intending to get a certificate in American Sign Language (ASL). I did this so I could be an interpreter. I was also pursuing a BA with a major of Ancient History with a minor in literature. I got stellar grades, but my doctors pulled me out of school before I could earn one single credit.
I went to the ER frequently out of sheer desperation. I went just so I could get comfortable enough to have a bit of sleep after a week or more of lingering in a painful place that seemed to be located in deep within the realm of a narcotic distorted pain haze, a no-where-land that seemed to be somewhere between life and death. The doctors in the emergency room and elsewhere often treated me as though I was an addict, and not a pain patient, AND I WAS MISERABLE!
During this time, my oldest brother, Shannon, died. He’d suffered a severe brain injury years before and was in pain constantly. One doctor wasn’t paying enough attention to his prescription pad and he prescribed my brother’s death (unintentionally). My brother had tried cannabis in his earlier years, but was trying to be a law abiding citizen. He was not educated on his rights to use the plant (CO did have a small registry ad the time) and died due to his pharmaceuticals.
I often wonder if he’s still be with us if he had only used cannabis instead of some of the medications he was on.
After my brother had passed on, I visited some biological family in Colorado in the winter of 2006-2007 and decided not to come back to this man, except to collect my things. I went back and collected what was important and started over in Colorado. I also sent a letter to the sweet man who had been waiting for me all this time.
My future husband #2 sold all of his possessions except what he could carry on the bus, and came to Colorado just to have a chance to be my love. We moved to Boulder, CO just blocks away from Naropa University where my life had been influenced so much. I dreamed for years of attending, but my health prevented it. I finally got stubborn and bullied my doctors into letting me go.
I was accepted into Naropa University almost immediately after I applied. For two semesters in 2007-2008 school year I made an effort to get a degree (Major in Writing and Poetics, with a double minor of Art History and visual Art. I had hoped this degree would give me access to jobs more suited to my bodies abilities. Unfortunately, my immune response is weak, and was pulled out by my doctors both times. My grades were stellar. Naropa wanted me there, I wanted to be there, but government programs required I be enrolled a certain amount of credit hours (beyond the abilities of my body) in order to keep my funding.
I married my sweetheart in April of 2008. I attempted a semester at Grand Canyon University online in Fall 2008 to the same effect. Now I have many thousands of dollars in student loans I can’t pay because I attempted to get a degree so I could have a job my body could handle.

Breezy with a Medical Marijuana License

Currently (Feb 2010), my sole health insurance is provided to me is under medicare/medicaid. This is because I am completely disabled and the doctors do not allow me to work, or even to attend school any more. I assure you that this is only for the time being… I am getting stronger all the time! Before I was placed on the Colorado Medical Marijuana Registry in June 2009, I would have to visit a doctors office several times a month, sometimes several times a week, sometimes with several appointments booked the same day with specialists and tests, painful and difficult physical therapy that seemed to harm more than hurt, etc., and there were to many trips to the emergency room to count.
Since I was approved for the medical marijuana registry I haven’t needed near the amount of services from the medicaid/medicare program. In fact, I’ve had to see a doctor twice since June 3, 2009 when the doctor signed my forms. Once to have 14 teeth pulled, a little bit of dental work made necessary by a combination of years of no dental benefits unless my teeth couldn’t be saved and needed to be pulled, being on narcotics for almost a decade, and dealing with severe nausea/vomiting/malnutrition.
The other doctor visit (and medications that followed) were for a bad cold that I caught at the dentists office. I haven’t seen a doctor at all otherwise, although I do call my family doctor to check in and let her know I am doing well.
Before I was on the MMJ registry, I was on so many medications (20 plus medications taken at various intervals though the day) that I felt like I was taking a pill every 2 minutes…. Number of traditional prescriptions I take daily now – TWO. (non narcotics) For 6 months, I didn’t need any pharmaceutical support, but I am having trouble keeping my proper medication (MMJ) in the house, so I had to get something to fill in the gaps. These medications are cheap (together it cost under $5 for a month supply with my medicare part D.)
The taxpayers were paying for all those medications I was on before through medicare/medicaid, plus all the doctor visits to get, maintain, and change dosing on those prescriptions right? Some of those medications by themselves cost the government thousands of dollars a month! Many could not have refills on them by law and required a doctor visit every time I needed more.
I always felt guilty about my personal burden on the American Taxpayers. But now I don’t have to feel guilty cause I have given a present to the American Taxpayer. I got on the MMJ registry. Now I do not go to the mainstream doctor unless I need antibiotics. I am off all prescriptions. I had tobacco quit (been trying for 20 years to quit) until I was without medicine too long and got stressed out, but I plan to quit again.
The government of the United States and the State of Colorado (as well as other states) are all saving a ton of money due to the growth in the medical marijuana industry and so are the dispensaries and caregivers. As a patient caught in the middle, I decided that I may have a unique perspective on this issue and have decided to throw my two cents in on the topic.
If you listen to the news, it seems to be the government officials vs. the dispensary owners. here in Colorado. This should not be the case. The patients needs should be at the heart of this discussion, particularly the needs of low income medical marijuana patients on Social Security Disability and Social Security Income (SSD/SSI)
When I began to write the essay that I posted in the online forums, I decided that my joining the Medical Marijuana Registry was my Christmas Present to the American Taxpayer for the year 2009.  And posted the title as “My Personal Christmas Gift to the American Taxpayer.”
I posted much of the content you have read above and will read below all over the internet in an effort to help myself and others in my position. I sat in the online forums begging:
“Is there someone, anyone out there who hears my plea and wants to help me actually do something other than sit in online forums and complaining about the problem and hope someone does something”
I was heartbroken to find little positive response and a lot of negative/cruel responses by persons who clearly are recreational users and not medical users. The treatment of women in some of these cannabis forum rooms was often appalling. I finally decided to stop beating a dead horse and set up a store front to help me get the funds I need for my own medicine, food and other needs and to donate 10% of our profits to provide medical marijuana for free to low income patients in need
A nice lady with the screen name Granny Stormcrow took the time out of her busy day and posted a link to http://www.GreenPassion.org
I followed that link and found a true forum where people can debate and discuss this controversial subject maturely. Check it out if you have the time…. But I digress.

The Government is Saving/Making a Ton on the MMJ program!

The government is saving many thousands of dollars a month on me alone, and yet I have to struggle to obtain this money saver for the American taxpayer. With much cut in government spending on the part of an individual… all SSI/SSD MMJ patients should get a medal or something. Now think how many individuals are saving the government this money in the State of Colorado alone…. Let alone the other 13 states and the District of Columbia! We all need medals or medicine at the very least!
How many others are there like me? Meanwhile, the price of my medicine increases as the MMJ movement grows. My family and I have been stuck having to make really hard decisions like, do we pawn our wedding and engagement rings to get my medicine? Or do we pawn them and buy some food? Or do we keep the rings for sentimental reasons, lay here and just starve and have seizures from pain and lack of medicine/food.
I ended up pawning all the rings, having already sold else of value to the pawn store and bought both medicine and food. The money I received for my treasured bands did not buy nearly enough of either medicine or food. We promised ourselves we would get them back, but I ended up crying my eyes out when I realized I just can’t afford to get them out of hock. The deadline to get them back passed weeks ago. I live in a Winnebago and have been in real danger of starving to death at times. Now don’t get me wrong, my life has been profoundly changed by this medicine, and any hardship I may have to endure is truly worth the benefits of this plant. I will not compromise and go back to the narcotics and other prescriptions just because I can get them paid for or for any other reason. I would rather be in pain when I am without my medical marijuana than take a morphine and get sicker.
Now I ask the members of the Government of the Great State of Colorado, and the Government of the United States of America, if you had child who was sick all their life and was suffering would you leave them to languish in pain and poverty just because they are an adult it was no longer your legal responsibility?Would you turn your child in to go to prison if that child chooses the use a plant that allows them to function again? Of course you wouldn’t. You would do whatever was in your power to make your child as comfortable as possible.
As an adult child, I now boldly but humbly step up to my adopted parent, the Government of the State of Colorado, and by extension the Government of the United States of America, and ask, “Guardian Government, Your ward respectfully asks of you, do you it intend to focus on the dispensaries who are the money in this discussion, or do you intend to focus on your citizens whose LIVES are being saved by this plant? You discuss care giving so much in this debate, but the treatment of patients on the part of many in this debate has proven differently. I know you have hearts, please use them as you consider these policies. This shouldn’t be a partisan issue. This should be a people issue.
Medical Marijuana therapy works. I am now well enough to manage a website as well as volunteer and be an advocate for others in need. I have regularly traded my services in clerical/office/computer work in dispensaries for medications when I am strapped for cash. All of these things would have been impossible for me nine short months ago when I was all but bedridden and and in so much pain I had to keep myself from overdosing.

Medical Marijuana, Social Stigma, and Family/Friends

Sometimes family members and the community can make it very hard to be a low income medical marijuana patient too. I have heard many stories of people not living with family/friends any longer because they are shunned for their medicinal use. I’ve experienced this shunning first hand myself. The stereotype of the “typical” marijuana user is further damaging these people with no where else to turn!
This herb is profoundly changing lives! It is healing people, body, mind, and soul. Yet its legal users get treated as if they are using it for recreation. I believe recreational use is a VALID use of the plant, further I feel it be legalized and would be an important source of revenue for America if it were to be legal once again. However, that is not why I personally NEED this plant.
This plant allows me to eat, to sleep, to get out of my bed, to manage my pain enough to have a job, to be involved with life instead of living in a nightmare world just praying for the end to come soon. If you happen to be a Fibromyalgia patient praying for the end, you can be praying for a long time as this is not a terminal disease.

My Disease… Fibromyalgia

The Mayo clinic website (see footnote 1) describes symptoms of Fibromyalgia as including
Signs and symptoms of Fibromyalgia can vary, depending on the weather, stress, physical activity or even the time of day.
Widespread pain and tender points
The pain associated with Fibromyalgia is described as a constant dull ache, typically arising from muscles. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
Fibromyalgia is characterized by additional pain when firm pressure is applied to specific areas of your body, called tender points. Tender point locations include:
Back of the head,Between shoulder blades,Top of shoulders,Front sides of neck,Upper chest,Outer elbows,Upper hips,Sides of hips,Inner knees
Fatigue and sleep disturbances
People with Fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they seem to get plenty of sleep. Experts believe that these people rarely reach the deep restorative stage of sleep. Sleep disorders that have been linked to Fibromyalgia include restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
Co-existing conditions
Many people who have Fibromyalgia also may have:
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Depression
Endometriosis
Headaches
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
Lupus
Osteoarthritis
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Restless legs syndrome
Rheumatoid arthritis

And a whole host of other conditions not on the Mayo clinic list.

Modern Western medicine can’t even agree on the causes/mechanisms of this disease because they don’t understand it.
It has been suggested that this is a psychological disease only, a psychosis created when a hypochondriac hears about Fibromyalgia. The advocates of this theory say that the symptoms of this disease are all in the patient’s head. I do not personally believe in this theory, but even if this disease is all in my head, the medical marijuana still helps.
Other sources on Fibromyalgia suspect that this disease has been around for all time, a genetic disease with a trigger, and its symptoms are found even in individuals of remote tribes of Africa and the Amazon who have no contact with the west. So why should I use new untested man-made medicine created by people who don’t understand my disease and possibly believe it doesn’t exist? Especially when that disease has been treated with herbs known to posses pain relieving qualities for many generations of humans?
I am confident that If I had the proper medicine, I would have pain free moments again. This herb doesn’t just treat pain sensations, it helps correct causes. Perhaps with the right regimen, daily pain could be a thing of the past for me.
My disease, Fibromyalgia, may not kill you on its own, but it can certainly make you wish for death. There are near epidemic levels of Fibromyalgia patients and pain patients in general who are hurting so bad they are suicidal, or worse succeed in taking their own life.

MMJ works, we just need to make sure people get appropriate dosages.

We need a program to help low income patients get their medicine!
If you are low income and can’t afford your “mainstream pharmacy” medicine, you can go to various organizations and they will help you to buy your medicine, sometimes even on a regular basis if they are necessary and not covered by insurance, but that doesn’t include medical marijuana.
If you are brave enough to speak up and ask for help getting your medicine at these organizations, you will probably find the door closed firmly in your face. You may also find that other services from the organization become difficult or impossible to obtain as well. This is out and out discrimination in my opinion. If your medicine is MMJ no one is willing to help you unless you happen to be lucky enough to find a care giver who actually gives a care if you have medicine or not! I recently had it out with Boulder County Food stamp office, and I suspect me listing my MMJ expenses on the form without shame is the root of the problem.
“So what,” you say? Well let’s look at this… The high price can force a person in my position to go back to buying their medicine off the street where it is less expensive, but also less potent, less safe.
1)You never know what has been added to you herb to increase the genetically weak herbs potency artificially with other street drugs or various substances to make it seem as though there is more weight to the medicine.
2)It is much more dangerous to obtain, and the process of obtaining it can be a risk to your health in many ways. Long periods in the cold and encounters with strange germs can put a person right back in their sick bed or the hospital.
3)The money spent on street grade medication often goes back to fund gang and criminal activity. This is something that most medical marijuana patients do not want to support and got on the registry to stop supporting. I personally counted avoiding purchasing on the street as one of the largest pluses to getting on the registry, and yet I see people like me being forced back there.
4)The price of cannabis on the street directly influences the costs of Medical Grade in the Dispensaries. In this respect, Cannabis is a commodity like any other, and as such is subject to price fluctuation when artificially influenced. It doesn’t really have anything to do with how much it costs to grow it and transport it to the patient. It has to do with how much it costs on the street.

What is to be done if you have no medicine? Where can you go?

There are few funds or organizations willing to help people like me get my medicine when I can’t afford it, and you have to really dig in your need to find them. When I did find them, they could only help once or not at all due to the demand. Many patients do not have the strength for this search when they are lacking appropriate medication. It took me months of daily web crawling to dig any up organizations up. Now people who wish to help provide medicine to people in this position can buy something for themselves or someone else, something they may have bought anyway and someone gets medicine.
If someone who has medicine/money wants to help a person in my position, likewise there is no way for a person who wants to help to donate money to people in a position similar to mine. Right now low income persons only relief seems to be individuals/churches/caregivers being kind. So I created this gift company, and here we are.
One church I know of is greenfaith ministry. The Reverend of greenfaith ministry is also known as the 420 Reverend. I have had contact with Reverend Brandon Baker from this organization who is a great man. He drives over 50 miles to get me some medicine for free. Unfortunately he is one man and the demand is high. Rev. B Baker is quoted as saying, “Tell the (Denver City my edit) council a majority amount of local churches support un-regulated access for all needy mmj patients, give them my name and number if they say they want to meet with any of the spiritual mmj community church leaders!”

Dispensaries are necessary, but not without a social conscience

Now the other side of the coin. It is no secret that the people who own dispensaries are making money on patients like me too.
We need these dispensaries for a variety of reasons.
1) What would a patient do if their caregiver had a bad crop and was without medicine? If that patient was restricted from seeing other caregivers they would have no where to get their medicine but the street.
2) If Our caregivers are restricted to a small number of plants they can grow for you, thus if you become tolerant to the genetics of one strain of medicine quickly and need to change the genetics of you medication often, it may be difficult for your caregiver to have/maintain the variety you need.
3) Competition strengthens customer service and prevents patients from being in a form of bondage with their caregiver. If we restrict patients from going to other dispensaries, how are they to know if the medicine they are receiving is the best quality available for them. If we restrict the number of persons a dispensary can serve to a tiny number and prevent patients from seeing other medical marijuana providers, and in addition the number of times a year they can change their caregiver, then patients must settle for whatever medicine a particular caregiver is giving them whether it is effective or not.

How does Kiefair Keepsakes indigent program work?

We encourage dispensaries and caregivers to join with us in our efforts to ease the suffering of low income MMJ patients. The funds raised through sales in my online store will be held in trust and dispensed when/where they are needed according to the needs and location of the patient in question. A patient from your area would contact me, then I would contact you to confirm you have the stock necessary for the patient and to confirm availability of time, I would then deposit money for their medication into a Paypal account owned by your dispensary. Discounts on medications are welcome, but not mandatory. The patient could then come in and pick up their necessary medicine.
I require no investment on your part. Patients would have the option of reporting to me on the quality of your medicine and I would then write their reviews and forward their recommendations (no names attached) on the net. Everybody wins. People who wish to provide money for the trust can purchase anything in my online gift-store or my personal catalog. 10% of my profits go to this fund. Hopefully a larger and larger percentage of profits will got to the trust when my personal finances allow me.

Meds for free? What about Caregivers and Growers needs?

Now, I have no problem with the idea of paying for my medications… The person who grows it provides a service that a dollar amount really can’t be placed on and should be compensated, and so should everyone involved in getting the medicine to me. That is only fair. But I want know the money I spend helps others like me or at very least the movement in general. I also don’t need to be paying 50+% of my income to stay barely comfortable. I’d like to be able to pay a reasonable percentage of my income and have all the medicine my body requires. I know that may seem a little unrealistic, but a girl in pain can dream. lol

Here in Colorado it is the wild wild west right now. If I happen to have to go somewhere other than my primary caregiver, my $ will probably end up in a growing bank account of some green gold rush eyed caregiver who could really care less if I have effective medication or not. In fact, it seems like the only green anyone cares about is dollar bill green and the green of greed. Yet the right to visit a dispensary other than your caregiver is a necessary one. What happens if your caregiver loses a grow? What do you do if you need a different strain of medicine than what is available that day? What if they are out of the product that helps the most? Would you refuse to let me go to W@(m@rt if W@lgr33ns was out of my prescription?

So the government ignores the money it saves, and many (not all) of the dispensaries in the area seem to have little social conscience about the price a person like me can pay to have their medicine.

A Big social Problem, and Yet We aren’t the Issue, money is.

When your total family income is at or below poverty levels, you can absolutely be forced back on the streets to get your medicine. My medical condition requires a minimum of 1/8 oz of smoke-able every 2 days to just to keep me off narcotics and other prescriptions that do more harm than good, not crying, not having seizures caused by pain, and not be stuck in bed.
This dosing by no means keeps me comfortable it is important to note.
I have NEVER had the pleasure of having enough medicine on hand to decide on what a good “comfortable” dosing schedule would be, even though I do have a compassionate caregiver. I just don’t want to put my poor caregiver out of business taking care of my needs. I have a friend who says her appropriate dosage is 7 grams a day (through edibles and smoking) If her herb costs $10 an ounce (a very cheap estimate), Then she will need to find $70 a day for her to treat her condition… that adds up to $2,170 a month… much more than many on SSD/SSI make in a month, and much more than it would cost to grow the plant with even with top notch gardening supplies..
What I am trying to say is that there is something fundamentally very wrong with the fact that there are so many people who are to poor to even know what the appropriate dosage of medication for their amount of pain, yet the government is saving a bunch of cash and the Medical Marijuana industry is getting the “lion’s share” of the rest of their income.
It is frustrating to feel like you and others are falling through the cracks even further. Many in my position were barely hanging on before the economic downturn, and now see no light at the end of the tunnel. SSI/SSD keeps you far below the poverty line if you have been unable to work enough many living on $1000 a month or less for their whole family.
 It is frustrating to see others get wealthy off of you and others while your tier of society starves. Sometimes I feel invisible, and I know for a fact I am not the only one out there feeling this.
I was born in the State of Colorado. My family has lived n this state for 4 generations (or more.) My grandmother owned and operated the Historic Stirrup Ranch near Canon City, Co. for many years. I love Colorado, but I live in an RV and I am so desperate to be in a place where I can have food and medicine that I am willing to move to any state with a registry because the social climate here is so difficult for poor patients right now.
I have a plan so that if I were able to obtain some land, I could be self sufficient (NO MORE SSI/SSD and I could actually contribute to charities instead of needing help from them!) and never have to worry about being hungry or without my necessary medicine. In time, many others could be helped with food and medicine grown on the land. I could be fulfilling needs rather than begging to have my needs filled.

Kiefair Keepsakes, stepping stone to a dream

My dream is to be able to get some land and set up an initial grow op in earth ships (a growing movement of building practices with an all environmentally friendly building/management philosophy.) This initial grow op would end up growing into a Nonprofit Medical Marijuana retreat/community/caregiver for patients like me to be able to get their medicine and/or live in a more affordable and kind setting, using their personal talents and abilities to benefit the community. I want to focus on what a “disabled person” can do, not their limitations. I want to create a place where it is safe to be sick on a daily basis with no fear of hunger, lack of medication, or fear of the loss of a job/home due to illness.
While I have the heart and the ability to do this work (given time and medication), I unfortunately have no capital for such a venture and am praying the universe will see fit to make it happen.
I have researched many aspects of this and it is very feasible, however getting investment in such a venture is not my forte. This kind of setting would be great tool for a “for profit” dispensary to use. It would be publicity, demonstrate social conscience, and you could also offer my nonprofit medications cheap to their own low income patients. inquire further at kiefair.keepsakes@gmail.com
I just wanna say Thanks to all the people out there helping to make it possible for people who need this medicine to have it. Whatever you celebrate this or any season, may it be meaningful and may Blessings come to you all! Thanks for listening!
footnote 1 Retrieved from the Mayo clinic website 1/12/2009
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/Fibromyalgia/DS00079/DSECTION=symptoms
Copyright 2009,2010 by Breezy Keefer, owner Kiefair Keepsakes All Rights Reserved
Please copy and redistribute with attribution of source!

Cannabis Health News Magazine graciously printed my last essay titled, “Kiefair Ke
epsakes, Who we are, how we came to be, Why we give back” in their February/March
2010 issue. In that article, I talked about my dream of self sufficiency and the
journey that led me to open my (now closed) business of Kiefair Keepsakes. In t
hat article, I said that Kiefair Keepsakes was the stepping stone to a dream… I re
ally didn’t know just how correct that statement happened to be for me until just
recently.
Kiefair Keepsakes as a business may have failed miserably. I didn’t have the funds
to invest in it properly. The little woman behind that business, certainly did
not fail. Let me introduce myself to you properly. My name is Breedheen O. Keefe
r. I frequently write under the pen name of Breezy Kiefair.
When I began Kiefair Keepsakes, I had a simple idea, sell goods, take at least 1
0% of the profits and donate herb to those in need. I thought it was a wonderful
idea, and it was. As I said, I didn’t have the financial stability to make that i
dea fly. I created my own website for free, but couldn’t afford to get fancy butto
ns on it so it was user friendly. The result was obvious: nearly non-existent sa
les. I became painfully aware that I just didn’t have the income to help myself or
anyone else. So, I “closed” Kiefair Keepsakes “door” and threw myself into full-time ac
tivism desperate to not only help myself, but to find a way to help others in my
situation. I left the website up as an example of what I tried to help myself.
I thought that maybe someone somewhere might be helped by the idea at least.
I told myself that my energy and skills served others better simply by my dilige
nt probing letters to my representatives at the local, state and federal level.
I also realized that I could serve the low income patient simply by sharing my o
wn personal struggles openly and honestly. In January 2010 when Kiefair Keepsake
s was still open and in its infancy, I attended the “Off the steps and into the ho
use” rally in Denver. I rode the bus down from Longmont, eagerly protesting, knowi
ng that few there had ever heard of me or cared to hear of me. I spent that cold
January day there with my peers. I wished to stay longer, but then the pain cre
pt in and said, “Breezy if you don’t leave now, you won’t have the strength to make it
back home on your own.” I was dejected because I knew I had basically made the tr
ip for nothing. I didn’t get to speak to my representative in person because of my
illness. I went home and wrote a letter to them instead.
In the heated months that followed with the debate over HB-1284/SB-109 I wrote m
y representatives often and listened in to every debate on the topic that went o
ut over the net (unless I happened to be off on a sick day). I often reported ri
ght through the pain and exhaustion for the benefit of those supporting MMJ who
could work formally and didn’t have the time to listen.. I reported on what I hear
d. As I could, I gave my opinion online in real time whenever possible usually o
ver social media because that was free. Compassion medication was, in retrospect
, really easy to come by in those days when the laws regarding medicinal cannabi
s in Colorado amounted to Amendment 20 and no more. There were parts of those bi
lls that I liked, and that made sense. Other parts I detested, but if you want t
o know those opinions, you can ask me yourself.
What I am trying to get to is the effects of this bill on a low income patient w
ho is not a self-caregiver. If you are a low income patient, a caregiver (Medica
l Marijuana Center or Private Caregiver) knows that they can sign you as their p
atient and you can never, ever, buy as much herb as they can grow for you. This
is particularly true if you have a disease that qualifies you for additional pla
nts for edibles or opiate replacement. This was a fact of the low income medicin
al cannabis patient’s life long before additional regulations were handed down. Th
e caregiver can choose what plants to grow “for you” and pick something of particula
rly high yielding genetics even if that is NOT the genetics your disease require
s. The next thing that generally happens is the low income patient comes in the
door a few weeks or months later and says “Hey, I am broke. I need meds. Can you h
elp me?” Now is the moment of truth in any patient caregiver relationship, even in
a more traditional medical setting (lets think of the Hippocratic oath, which a
dmittedly no caregiver is required to take). All too often, the low income patie
nt is made to feel horrible for even having the courage to ask for what they nee
d regardless of ability to pay. What can be an even bigger slap in the face to a
low income patient is “false compassion”. What do I mean by that? Well it can go se
veral ways…
1.
A caregiver might allow a patient to run up a huge tab that they could never pay
on their income, making the low income patient worse off in the long run (stres
s kills).
2.
A caregiver might throw the low income patient a very small amount of free herb
each month of their most degraded, lowest quality medication regardless of what
is medically needed for the patient. Most low-income patients are all to happy t
o take that “unmarketable herb” because over-dry under potent medication is better t
han none at all. We smile and are genuinely grateful, but know there is somethin
g seriously wrong with this picture.
3.
Sometimes they promise to teach the low income patient how to grow for themselve
s. When the caregiver makes claim to teach, this is basically promising the pati
ent self-sufficiency when it comes to their necessary medication. Later, they te
ll the patient it is too expensive to do on that patients income (generally they
say this to keep control of their plants). A caregiver might also gift a clone
of a particularly fussy strain of cannabis plant to a low income patient as if t
o say, “Here… lets see you succeed in growing for yourself with that.”
*
o
+
When it comes to growing, Cannabis can be a picky plant, but if you choose your
strains wisely, you can grow very easily, cheaply, and yes even quickly. For exa
mple, I harvested a nice Low Rider 2 auto-flower plant: I grew it in soil that w
as less than $2 a bag. I used the sun and some CFL bulbs for lighting. I used a
planter purchased at a “dollar store”. You don’t even need to pay for grow containers.
You can get great grow containers by going to most any bakery by asking for was
te icing buckets, or recycled buckets of any kind that have not been used to sto
re chemicals. I feed mostly on black-strap molasses and my vegetable food waste
composted by fishing bait worms. I planted the Low Rider 2 plant in March and ha
rvested at the end of May.
1.
The story goes many ways, but the end result is the low income cannabis patient
is left without medication or severely under-medicated. The patient is made to f
eel as though the caregiver doesn’t see their need for medication in the light tha
t they should. Meanwhile, that same caregiver gets to make cash off selling the
low income patients medicine. I am speaking of medicine grown in their name that
they can’t afford to buy for themselves. There is much fundamentally wrong with t
he above scenarios.
Before those regulations handed down in SB-109/HB1284 became law, dispensary own
ers, private growers and caregivers, and people in the medicinal cannabis patien
t community all seemed to have more of a heart for the low income patient. As so
on as the ink dried on these two bills, all anyone seemed to be able to think ab
out was the almighty dollar and how to pay all the fees that are now required. B
efore the bill became law, I could walk in to most any dispensary and walk out w
ith a few grams of cannabis free of charge so long as I promised to review it fo
r them on youtube or put up a status on social media that I was smoking a specif
ic strain from a specific place and give the contact information of the compassi
onate party. I was basically doing an advertisement for that compassionate party
for the price of a few days medication. The month the bill went into effect, my
sources of compassion dwindled to about 4 places/individuals. A month later, on
ly 2 individuals were willing to help me with my medicine regardless of my abili
ty to pay…
In the wake of these regulations, a few new options popped up for some. Religiou
s cannabis organizations sprang up over night. There has long been a religious c
annabis movement, but it too saw a boom similar to the recent dispensary opening
boom here in Colorado. These religious organizations that were already establis
hed saw higher demand and fewer donations. They had established and dedicated th
emselves to providing free medication/sacrament, but found it harder and harder
to serve the demand. Some of these Cannabis as a religious sacrament organizatio
ns give herb away completely free of charge, others were little more than a fron
t to sell medicinal grade herb to anyone who wanted it at a slight discount off
of dispensary prices.
Let me be clear that I believe in cannabis as a religious sacrament on many leve
ls. Just look up the work of Anthropologist Sula Bennet for a Judeo-Christian pe
rspective regarding the plant cannabis. Religions all over the globe have been u
sing cannabis to aid in communicating with their understanding of a higher intel
ligence since the stone age. I will defend to my death the right of all to posse
s and use cannabis on a religious level, medical level, and yes, even a recreati
onal level. That being said, an organization that promotes itself as a religious
organization should not be just another loophole in the law for shwag smokers t
o lay hands on medicinal genetics. If that shwag smoker (an un-carded individual
) is getting spiritual guidance, and aid that would be expected of most any chur
ch or spiritual organization, then it is valid. If all that organization provide
s is access to herb, then I personally take issue with them.
There are cannabis as a religious sacrament organizations out there that do meet
as a community on a regular (weekly or bi weekly basis) and some do actually of
fer spiritual guidance. Others who meet are little more than a large “circle” of smo
kers hanging out on a Sunday afternoon. I do not doubt that these circles of smo
kers have strength, and are a good thing. However, in my mind it would be more a
ppropriate for these organizations that do little more than smoke and talk to la
bel themselves as “Cannabis support groups” rather than terming themselves as a fait
h based organization. Some of the leaders in the cannabis as a religious sacrame
nt community have been to formal seminary of some sort, others have little more
than a blessing on their “ministry” obtained online for a price. Even among those wh
o got there ordination online are those who genuinely do good. Some have filed a
s non-profits, others have not. Its hard to know who to trust. Many great things
have come from humble beginnings. It was hard for me to know who to lend my pen
to. Especially when I generally write for free, or review for barter of a few g
rams of medication.
Not all of these examples/results of new regulations effects on the low-income c
annabis patient pertain to me personally. I have spent many hours listening to m
y low-income peers carefully and I know of at least one individual that fits one
, or more of the examples I have listed.
By July 2010, I was feeling rather defeated. It seemed like I was under attack b
y both sides of the cannabis issue. The Lawmakers had seemed “put out” to even speak
to an individual like me. The legal latitude given to the counties and cities o
f Colorado demanded even more of the cannabis patient. Now we had to go talk to
city council. Now we had to go vote to stop the madness in our own back yards af
ter we fought so hard to get some sense at the state house. Meanwhile, the pro-c
annabis side of the issue seemed to treat me, and those like me, as if we were a
stone around their neck due to our inability to pay for medication we clearly n
eed. Why? Because HB1284/SB109 made me us a stone around their necks.
With the new licensing fees and regulations, I saw really awesome medicine growe
rs with hearts of gold go out of business, or sell their hard built shops. I saw
really skilled edible/hash artisans loose their dreams… not for lack of will or d
etermination or ability, but for lack of funds. Many had been to culinary arts s
chool, or owned commercial bakeries previously and were no danger to anyone as f
ar as safety. They just couldn’t afford an infusion license. Those who could hold
on, those who managed to get the required red tape satisfied,could no longer get
their necessary edibles into my hands because they couldn’t afford the MMJ center
license to sell to a patient directly.
As defeated as I felt, however, somewhere in my heart I wanted to believe it was
all just a nightmare that I could somehow wake up from. We are not naive down h
ere in low-income land, we know if we go in to a regular doctor’s office or the ho
spital, we run the risk of punished for my honesty about medicinal cannabis with
poor medical care. If we go to the state and local authorities for help with fo
od and funds because those doctors all agree we are incapable of formal work, we
risk being punished with painfully little help, or no help at all. If we try to
earn our medicine through activism for the cause, as soon as money becomes an i
ssue, we’re the first to go without the strength giving herb we need.
I began posting my artwork in hopes that perhaps I could find a patron or two. I
did one painting for an agreed price of $50 cash, but in the end he was so happ
y that he traded me about a half ounce of legally grown medication. I let anothe
r long held painting go for only $10. People mistook my digital photography with
artistic edits for real paintings. It was all very flattering, but did little t
o help me raise funds for my fast approaching re-certification on my license. We
bsites wanted to post my work, but then found my images unsuitable because the s
ource photography was taken with equipment that was beyond obsolete. I was asked
for higher quality images of my “paintings” but didn’t know how to say it was not wit
hin my power to provide.
So here I live, I’m already living hand to mouth like so many others who draw disa
bility. I’ve been sick since I was a child, and while my husband and I together br
ing in about $1,000 a month. There’s a little more when you count the food assista
nce we had to fight to win back. I personally am only worth about $325 a month.
I require at least 1/8 oz of cannabis per 2-3 day period to keep me barely comfo
rtable. Even in the most bargain of dispensary, I am still not going to be able
to buy as much medication as I need. It’s enough to make you cry and scream and go
a little insane. I personally did go a little bit mad with the stress and press
ure. I threatened to stop activism all together on more than one occasion. I kep
t sheepishly picking my pen back up because I knew people like me needed a voice
. I knew I had been gifted by my understanding of a creator a skill-set. That sk
ill-set could give them the voice they needed even if it couldn’t give me the mone
y and medicine I needed for myself. My obsolete little red web-book went down ov
er and over. I patiently worked it back to life with myself for tech support aga
in and again. I even sacrificed many long held files to get myself back up and r
unning.
With my openness on social media, and my picture in the local paper, people on t
he street in my little town were talking. Talking was a good thing. I was happy
people were being more open about it. Too long has it been a topic that was only
discussed behind closed doors. However, I also have post-traumatic-stress-disor
der from various traumatic events in my life, and the razor’s edge I lived on in t
he city felt mighty thin. I continued to try to educate wherever I went. I had a
lot of great conversations with both cardholders and non-cardholders. People we
re not always kind. I did not expect them to be. Their unkindness was hard on me
nonetheless. I tried not to let it bother me. I did my best to behave as though
I had a thick skin even when my heart was breaking.
Near the end of August 2010, my husband spotted an property on eBay. 2.56 acres
of high mountain desert (pinion pines and sagebrush) in Costilla County Colorado
. It was only $3,000 total price. Low down payment, low, low, low, monthly payme
nts. No interest. It sounded too good to be true. We had been searching and sear
ching for a bit of land that even we could pay off with no problem. There it was
. It was just sitting there, so much like what I had imagined as I wrote last wi
nter that I cried for joy. We bought it on faith that it was real and it was our
s.
We did our best to prep the old 1967 Winnebago we called Frieda for a long trip.
It was nearly harvest time, and there were those who said, hold on a while Bree
zy and we’ll send you south with a bunch of medicine. My husband and I went up the
Poudre River valley for a week to await harvest. I hold a “lifetime golden age di
sabled pass” to our National Parks Service. It allows me to take advantage of the
beauty of nature at a discount of at least 50% depending on location. We thought
camping there would be a cheap option while we waited. We have a Kiefair family
tradition to stop there once a summer anyway, and we had not yet been there in
the summer of 2010. We go there to remember our wedding. We were married by a ju
dge in Cheyenne, Wyoming in April of 2008. Then we returned to Colorado. We held
our own private ceremony, giving ourselves to each other and the service of our
understanding of the creator in a cabin at Glen Echo Lodge. Yes, cannabis was i
nvolved in our wedding ceremony. At that time I had a doctor’s notation in my char
t that I was using cannabis medicinally, but didn’t yet have the protection of the
“red card.”
Old Frieda went up Poudre valley to the campground with only a few complaints. W
e had to change a coil off her alternator a few times and she drank gas like cra
zy. When we came back out of the valley, Frieda all but died. We “boon-docked”for we
eks in spots we found friendly to the homeless.. Boon-docking is an RV dwellers
term for parking in an area where no one cares if you sleep in your vehicle. I m
et several cardholders there too. A shared bowl between those in a harsh existen
ce is a beautiful thing. It doesn’t really matter what the strain in the bowl is.
The feeling you get when you find someone to share a bowl with, someone who need
s to ease their pain, and you share it with them, or they with you it is sublime
.
I even went crawling to family begging for help I feared would not be offered me
unless I bent on the medical/religious cannabis issue. I could only bear to wri
te about the treatment I received from my blood in poetry, my first love in the
writing world. Below follows my account of my last encounter with family.
The fever’s high, and my pen is cold.
2 members of the bio family show
The matriarch in her flex-fuel coach
and her husband/coach man to ensure me move a block
My ’68 home sits at a standstill
And I’m desperate enough to be so bold
To put in a call and share vulnerable woe
So I sit and hear my reproach
And hear about her needs that she can’t fill.
She keeps telling me cannabis is evil
And I keep sticking to my guns
I know there would be help for me
If I pretended I’d done wrong.
But I can’t deny what I know to be true
even though the times are hard
And I can’t lie into her face
Even though her heart gets hard.
So I took her jump-start and two fivers
As if my flowers were crack rock
And turned them into two clean sets of clothes
Up on the clearance rack.
I could have bought myself a joint with the help she had to give
But I had to prove to her, and to myself, that I’m not the things she said.
Then racked with cold and fever; for more than a week we waited
We begged, We worked, and we waited through tech issues till we got a payday loa
n
We waited another day for parts, Then that holy smoke rolled in
We’re not back on the road but progress has been made
I believe I passed a test this week and soon the sailings good
We were provided bags of hope at night
By day we did our best
To figure out which step was right
What action could bring us rest
On Sunday we learned we were welcome here as long as the parking lot stayed clea
n
And trusty Sir Ands Alot showed, with clean legal herb for me,
as the bags of charity food passed round
So boldly he lit his bowl for me as the cars too passed round
I knew I was safe and hadn’t a care
Amendment one time just for us
Amendment 20 is only a plus.
We bought a chilton manual for our engine, and did our best to fix the RV. I mad
e beaded necklaces and earrings and signs to sell them. I sold none in the end,
instead I gave them as gifts of thanks to the people around me who were kind. It
became very clear, however that it would take more funds than we had to make ol
d Frieda worthy of the high mountain passes. In fact, she could only go a block
or two at a time before refusing to budge like an old stubborn mule. It was also
clear that the only people that were gonna help Mr. and Mrs. Kiefiar get home w
ere Mr. and Mrs. Kiefair, perhaps with the exception of intercession on the part
of the creator. I took a trip to the hospital for severe abdominal pain, bloody
stools, dehydration and rapid weight loss, and other such unpleasant bowel issu
es. When that got me no answers, I was about ready to break emotionally.
A few days after the hospital incident, we got a visit from law enforcement, as
if we didn’t have enough to juggle. On September 27, 2010 at 12:14 am I had this t
o write:
I send a text to Sir Ands a lot. It has just become my bio sister’s birthday and l
aw enforcement officers have just left my Rv’s front door. It’s Sunday evening, and
I’ve just finished consuming communion bread and wine, my smoky sacrament, and fal
len asleep. First the lights, but I can only see white flashing in Frieda’s RV rea
r window. “Here we go.”, Hubby said.
Then Bang, Bang Bang on my door.
“Just a minute.” I answer.
“Longmont PD” they replied
“One moment officer. We’ve been resting, and its been awfully hot.”
“OK, get decent. Do you know L*****?” they queried
“No sir, I do not sir.” My husband replied.
My husband stepped to the door and they asked to see ID.
“Let me grab my wallet officer.” He said
I reached for mine as well.
“Can you step outside please sir.” said an officer
Then quickly on its heels, “Could you come outside with ID ma’am”
“Not an issue sir,” I said nodding my head expectantly, “I have it in my hand.”
I step outside and hand over my ID and my red card.
“Do you have a cat?” they asked
I was toking a “blended” tobacco roll your own. I’d re-lit it. I was half-awake. I’d for
gotten I’d stretched my medicine some in rolling tobacco. (A wretched habit that w
ould be long broken if I but had the herb to not need to stretch it with tobacco
!)
I said, “Sure officer. I have three.”
“Are they ok?”
“Sure I said. They’re watered. They’re fed. They love Rv living.”
He probes me further, “Listen. The quickest way for us to be sure you aren’t the one
s we are looking for is to let us take a look inside.”
The pain in my gut was sharp and deep. And I nearly gasped in pain. My heart ski
pped a beat. I half wanted to ask for a warrant but instead I found the words to
say, “You need to be aware that I am a medical cannabis patient, and you will see
paraphernalia, but ok.”
The younger officer looks at me like a light has gone on in his head.
“We’re not here for that right now.” he smiles and says.
And the older officer goes in to see my Social Security squalor. He got to see t
he disorder caused by disease at play.
I’m so ashamed but without apology I say, “Outside my medicinal cannabis activism, I
know no one in Longmont.”
And then they tell me of the one they ARE looking for. I saw them yesterday. The
ir Rv description sounded like mine. They were reported to be in the same locati
on as I. The LEO assure me we’re causing them no grief. I get the message its all
ok. They warn us of cracks we could fall through when it comes time for shift ch
ange. They warn about more knocks at my door. They tell me to do just exactly wh
at I did, and promise I’ll do fine. “Do you need help to get going?” We just smile and
say, “No thanks officer, we’re doing just fine.”
We decided the land was more important than the RV and made the decision to sell
her. We got my compassion delivery of early pull cannabis I got to trim myself.
It was enough for about 2 weeks at my conservation dosing schedule. We were fin
ally ready to make our move.
We packed all of our possessions, including our three cats into a rented moving
truck. As we were packing the truck, I listed the RV on craigslist as a Karma sp
ecial for much less than she was worth. Before we could even get all of our thin
gs out, she was sold. The baby-boomer gentleman handyman who bought her patientl
y waited as we got the rest of our things out. Then he patiently waited for us t
o deliver it. He made no complaints when she broke down in the intersection and
he had to come tow her to his house. We even had a great conversation about how
much medical cannabis has done for me personally. This is part of what I had to
say to him:
Just to tell you how much cannabis has given me back, let me say this:
In 1997 I was inducted into the National Library of Congress at age 17 for a poe
m I wrote titled “The Sun is High” It was in a collection of poetry called Chambers
of Time. It looked like I had a bright future in store for me. This was before t
he pain and exhaustion got to be a constant issue. I did not publish a word agai
n until January/February 2010. Why? I was incapable. I got my medicinal cannabis
license in June of 2009. It expires on November 22, 2010. How do I pay the doct
or’s fee? I know will not be covered by medicare and/or medicaid? Why do I even ha
ve to re-certify when even the Social Security Administration admits I have no h
ope of ever being able to pull in a paycheck for myself? Shouldn’t the money peopl
e like me save the American taxpayer in those programs be enough to make this a
little easier on me and my peers?
He agreed with me, even though he wasn’t sure how you got a card. He even gave me
his email address and made me promise to write, and I intend to when I have the
strength.
We were finally free to go to our land. We had a motor that would run to get us
there, but now we had no shelter. I knew that winter at 9,000 feet is harsh. -15
degree days and nights are a real possibility on a regular basis. I was deceive
d in no way about what the cold can do in this area of Colorado. My family has s
urvived in this area of Colorado in remote locations before. I was gifted a goos
e down comforter by a canna-brother and sister to ensure my warmth. I dubbed the
se particular individuals Sir Ands ALOT and Lady G. They know who they are and t
heir generosity knows no bounds. I was not as worried as all my social media fri
ends and regulars seemed to be.
We were out of options, and desperate enough that we’d rather risk dying on our ow
n land than linger in the city any longer. We used part of the proceeds from Fri
eda to buy a tent that appeared to be at least 3 season. I knew internet service
and cell service would be spotty in Costilla County. We knew we would have no e
lectricity, and no source of water. We bought a pre-paid web capable phone of a
service the land owner said worked pretty well (it didn’t). We had laid in stock o
f dry goods over the past few months and figured that even without transportatio
n, we had enough food to survive. Its not as if my body lets me consume anywhere
near a normal amount of calories in a day anyway.
There was so much joy in my heart as we made our way south. Despite the fact tha
t I knew life in the high mountain desert would be harsh, I could feel burdens l
ifting off of me with each mile marker. I knew I was no longer renting. I no lon
ger had to pay money month after month and worry when someone would say, “Move alo
ng cannabis smoker. We won’t tolerate your kind here anymore.” The closer we got to
the land, the more I realized that it hadn’t been myself I was angry for at all. I
realized that each time I had gotten frustrated at my circumstances, I wasn’t rea
lly angry at what was happening to me. I was angry because I knew that for each
hardship I endured, there were easily hundreds of others other medicinal cannabi
s patient going through the same thing and likely worse. We are on the buses wit
h you who do not partake, we are among the homeless, we are the some of your nei
ghbors you chat with, we work along side you. I also realized that I had given a
lot of people my permission mentally to make me feel bad about my medication. I
decided it had to stop.
Sometime the third week of September, I wrote a bit about this aspect of myself
in my little composition notebook. This is what I had to say about giving others
my permission to make me feel bad about my medication.
I choose to give no one the right to make me feel bad or guilty about my medicat
ion. I’d prefer to tell the truth even when it makes my personal life inconvenient
or painful emotionally. I’d rather educate, then go medicate. Not every mind is r
eceptive, most are closed shut like an antiquated bear trap on a surprisingly yo
ung stereotype regarding my medication. The best way to open that mind is to sha
re with it a real person’s experience. I am in the company of such historical figu
res as Queen Victoria whose name alone can conjure in the mind an entire era of
ridiculous stereotypes such as men being driven wild sexually by the sight of a
table leg, hence the invention of table cloths to make the tables more “decent” And
yet in that time, there was no stigma for cannabis use. At one time, the very Qu
een of England, the queen of decency and decorum herself toked a pipe at her “time
of the month.” One can only surmise thatBuckingham Palace, has on at least one oc
casion hosted Our Lady Mary Jane or Cannabis Indica as Queenie would have called
it. Don’t believe me? Look it up. Can’t find it? Catch me online and I have a link.
;)
Queen Victoria is but one example. It’s a relatively recent one if you consider th
e lengthy history humans have had with cannabis. Just spend some time with your
favorite search engine and you’ll be surprised at what you learn.
So toke well friends, Your in good company!
No matter what life threw at us, we continued to light our pipe in praise to our
creator whenever we had herb to fill it. Often we filled it with what we affect
ionately call poor man’s hash ~ cleanings from our boiled bowls. Each day we would
thank the creator for the strength to live and give another day. I’ve got a poem
for that too, but I’m sure I’m running long.
Despite all the hardship, we finally were going somewhere that felt like home. W
e got to what was represented as our land after dark on October 3, 2010. There w
as an awesome lightning show in the sky that night, and it seemed the creator wa
s matching us hit for hit. The next morning, we cleared sagebrush, set up the te
nts, unloaded the moving truck into the tent and ensured the cats were safe.
Not a week later, we were provided with a tent camper someone had left up on the
mesa for anyone who might need shelter. Its canvas was worn and weather rotted
in many places. Still we gave thanks and proceeded with patching and decided to
sleep in the more intact end. We found that our two closest neighbors, Seanie Be
th and Tom, each about eight tenths of a mile away, were kind beyond measure. I
continued to be open and honest with those around me about my medicinal cannabis
need. Neither of my neighbors had a card, neither really wanted or needed one,
but neither looked down their nose at me for my medicinal use. Both have provide
d me with cash to walk into a dispensary for cannabis to ease my suffering. They
even let me earn it so I personally would feel better about it.
Our neighbor Tom loaned us a plot map of our section of the mesa. We discovered
by October 18th that we were on the wrong land! I called the only lawyers I knew
, cannabis lawyers. I only needed some direction on which way to jump. I knew I
was squatting on land I did not own through no fault of my own. I knew that one
of the land owners took personal issue with cannabis users. I listened and respo
nded calmly as one owner detailed every perceived wrong cannabis users had ever
committed against them. I was scared. I was tired beyond measure. I knew that I
was in the middle. Things necessary for survival had come up missing inexplicabl
y and I truthfully still don’t know who was responsible. My cats died one by one.
I cried like a mad woman, then I got my husband a dog for his birthday and to he
lp us stand watch. I didn’t know what to think. When I was able to get no directio
n from any lawyer, I called the property owner and showed him what I saw on the
map. In the end, he saw it too. He knocked some money off my purchase price, low
ered my payments for a year and promised to help us move. My husband and I clear
ed sage once more. In the end, our land owner moved the tent-trailer and no more
. My husband moved much of our things by hand. I wanted to cry as he patiently c
arried them up the dirt road and to the proper lot. I kept wanting to help, he k
ept reminding me to save my strength. A neighbor came by and inquired what he wa
s doing. He and my neighbor used her car to move the rest. We gave thanks we wer
e finally in the right spot.
I went to all the cannabis shops I could get rides to, and only found one worth
giving the respect of a mention. La Casa Canna “bis” at 205 Main Street in San Luis,
Co. This dispensary has been were I have chosen to spend my few cannabis dollar
s. It has been a joy to work with them. They keep their herb in glass. They keep
that glass refrigerated. Their selection is really awesome. Even in the city I
would be impressed with the number of strains they offer. Their bud tend is know
ledgeable and always does his best to give me medication with the effect I happe
n to need that day. It doesn’t matter if I need it for an appetite, to reduce pain
so I can sleep or write, or whatever else I may need that day. They always have
something with the effect I need that day medically. I’d also like to note that t
hey carry my favorite strain, lamb’s breath on an almost continual basis. That is
a real rarity in my personal experience. Even better than that, they have a hear
t. A phone call from Mr. Lauve to La Casa was all it took to get me some compass
ion. Mr. Lauve graciously offered to donate advertising space in Cannabis Health
News Magazine in exchange for medication for me from La Casa. As I type these w
ords, tears of gratitude stream down my face. I am in awe of how the creator kee
ps providing for me, first the land at a price we could afford, then lowering th
e purchase price, now providing me with medication and friends in the desert. I
am grateful. I’d like to send a special thank you out to not only Jason Lauve, but
also to all the staff and growers at La Casa, along with the owners, Mr. Leonar
d Garcia and Mr. Arian Maestas.
The tent camper is often cold. We still do with out things we need on a regular
basis. We ran out of propane before we even got to the right land. I don’t mind. I
have peace of mind that I am where I am meant to be, and a loving creator watch
es over me. We have plans to build a wooden structure with a Teepee architectura
l style and an open fire pit. Once the wooden frame is up, we will wall it in wi
th the native volcanic stone and mortar. We plan for this to be our guest house.
and to get us through the winter. We’re building our earth-ship when we can. We d
on’t know where the lumber and mortar are coming from, but we have faith our creat
or will lead the way. The doctor down here is sending me to a specialist to have
my growths biopsied and my gut checked over. I still loose weight like crazy, b
ut sometimes I win some back. Whatever my body may have in store for me, at leas
t I seem to be back to my peaceful self. I do not know how or if I can re-certif
y my license when it expires in a matter of weeks and should have been taken car
e of months ago. Mr. Lauve graciously is trying to help me there too, even as he
runs around trying to help us all at the Department of Revenue. He understands
I don’t want to have to choose to go back to prescriptions I can afford or choose
to “break the law” and use what my body needs.
I have faith that I will not have to make those choices. I know I will not give
up my sacrament, I will not deny what I believe to be true. I have freedom to be
lieve what I like when it comes to religion under the constitution of this count
ry. On that I stand. In the first amendment I wrap myself and hope. I am gratefu
l that cannabis helps me enter my creator’s throne room grateful for what I have i
nstead of seeing all the wrong all around me and nothing more. If I had seen onl
y the bad in this story, I never would have made it all the way to my land. I wo
uld have surely given up somewhere. Cannabis helps me medically for sure, but it
is also a big part of the faith that keeps me hanging on through all the pain.
I don’t worship a plant, I worship the creator of that seed-bearing plant. Kiefair
Keepsakes was the stepping stone to a dream, the path just didn’t play out the wa
y I thought it would. I still wouldn’t change a step. As hard as the path may have
seemed, we didn’t take one single step alone. Sometimes its hard to do the right
thing when faced with hard choices. Trust the good in you, make a leap of faith
every now and again. I’m sure glad I did. Especially when I see the wild and human
raised (but returned to the wild) horses in my meadow some afternoons.
Leaving Mesa Kamp Kiefair
In early October 2010, things seemed to be picking up and making a turn for the
better in my life. Behind me were the days of sleeping in the RV in abandoned pa
rking lots and worrying when we’d have trouble from the law. I’d sacrificed a lot, b
ut finally had my land under my feet .Life was harsh, but good. I enjoyed living
at nine thousand feet immensely. The wildlife in the area was a constant source
of joy to me. The wild horses and human raised but released to the wild horses
often visited me. Each morning I woke before dawn to greet icy morning and the b
eauty of the sunrise. Every morning the tiny footprints of the chipmunks and gro
und squirrels covered the space outside my shelter. I had an alarm set each even
ing to remind me to step out and enjoy the sunset.
Beneath the surface, all was not well up on the property I dubbed “Mesa Kamp Kiefa
ir” (MKK) I was often cold. The expense of propane more than our budget to bear. W
e had built a large fire pit outside the canvas sided pop up camper, but it was
rarely used to its full potential. My husband often didn’t feel like gathering fir
e wood, or starting a fire. At the same time, he didn’t want me engaging in those
activities, stating that I was too sick and weak to do them for myself. So I rem
ained cold and hungry. It was much the same with cooking responsibilities. There
were many days, often several days in succession when we went hungry with perfe
ctly good food frozen solid in their tin cans in the pantry.
Inter-personally, things were not going well between Mr. Kiefair and I either. W
e fought all the time. We couldn’t seem to agree on anything, and the dysfunction
between us made my disease flare and my emotions and behavior run away with me.
I take responsibility for some pretty bizarre behavior during this time. After a
fight that left me quite insane, I was so distraught that I took off walking ac
ross the mesa in the snow wearing nothing but my boots, my my hat, my walking st
ick and a grim expression on my face. He had goaded me into going out onto the m
esa in the snow with the intention of letting mother nature take my life due to
exposure. I should not have played his game, and I feel horrible for having done
such an extreme and dangerous activity. I just wanted out of the world I found
myself stuck in. A world where I was right next to someone I loved a great deal,
yet feeling that I was not loved in return. A world where my MMJ license was al
lowed to expire because he didn’t want me to have it. Yet, I was also not allowed
to seek pain relief from a medical doctor via pharmaceutical medications either.
He even called the police on me the day my license expired telling them I inten
ded to set fire to all the sage on the mesa. I had never said any such thing. I
lived in a world where anger was thrown at me and brought out of me on a daily b
asis, especially when I was trying to do any writing, activism, or art work. One
day in early December 2010, it all boiled over.
It was a warm night in comparison to the bitter cold early December nights we ha
d been having up at 9,000 ft above sea level on the wind swept mesa in Southern
Colorado. For the time being, the wind had blown itself out, and the storm had a
bated. I sat at my neighbor’s geodesic house by the fire waiting for my husband to
return from town with supplies. The glow of the fire felt like heaven itself to
my cold and fibromyalgia pain ridden bones and muscles. We had not been able to
afford propane for the stove in the Coleman tent trailer in some time. Most nig
hts, a down comforter and body heat were the only source of warmth as I slept ba
ck to back with my husband, always with nearly a foot of space in between us. In
the dark of those cold nights, I often cried myself to sleep. I was so cold. Th
e anguish in my soul sprang from the inherent knowledge that the man I loved lyi
ng next to me did not seem interested in holding me; not for the sake of body he
at, nor for any other reason. My soul’s ache kept me awake at night more than the
cold did.
My neighbor’s adult daughter wanted to feed me, but I wanted to wait on my husband
, knowing he would be angry if I ate without him or wasn’t hungry for whatever he
brought home. She had seen my weight plummeting since I had moved up to the mesa
. This was due in part to my chronic wasting associated with my disease, but the
real root cause was my husband.
As I said before, we had food, but it was frozen solid in their cans or needed t
o be prepared over heat. We rarely built a fire to warm ourselves and cook on. I
t was enough to drive a saint insane. My husband had made it very clear that did
n’t want me building fires or gathering wood. On this day, it had been a full 4 da
ys since I had eaten anything. I eagerly awaited his return from town because I
relished the promise of something to eat, hopefully something fresh. My optimist
ic mind salivated at the thought of a Caesar salad and some protein.
When my husband finally walked through my neighbor’s door, it was much later than
I had expected him. He tossed me a pack of the most expensive cigarettes in town
(for which I was grateful. I smoke tobacco when I have no herb to fill the gap
in meditation), and a pint of “Dr. Magillicuty’s vanilla liqueur”, which I quickly put
into my coat. He had a pack of cigarettes for himself, a 30 pack of bush beer,
2 pints of Jim Beam, and some Southern Comfort. No food. I was furious, and took
off into the night for home, not waiting for my neighbor who had offered to dri
ve us both the 0.08 miles back to our place. I had hoped that the walk would coo
l my temper. It did not.
When he came through the door, we immediately began fighting. “This is your idea o
f supplies?” I screamed at him with tears running down my face. “We cannot live on l
iquor and tobacco! Well, maybe you can, but I cannot.”
I slammed the door of the little canvas trailer as if it were the door to some g
rand house and set myself to defiantly building a fire. The bottle of vanilla li
queur was still in my jacket, and found its way to my hand. I began to drink it
thinking, “If drinking on an empty stomach were his plans for the night, who am I
do disrupt that part of it. At least tonight I intend to be warm.”
I sat outside by my fire as he and I screamed at each other long into the night.
I screamed at him about so many things that had been eating away at my broken m
y heart lately including: his refusal to be affectionate to me, him quitting wor
k over a year ago and refusing to find more work, him wanting me to stay in bed
all the time like an invalid, the bitter cold and no heat, about the hunger and
food within reach but frozen, being surrounded by sage wood that burns quickly b
ut hot and yet never having a fire to be warm near, my medicinal cannabis licens
e expiring because he would not allow me to renew my state ID and we hadn’t the mo
ney to pay the doctor’s fees, him not allowing me to get pharmaceuticals to fill i
n the gap of pain that the lack of cannabis caused. I’d had enough! I could deal w
ith all these hardships if only I felt like he loved me, but that feeling was lo
ng gone. He screamed at me about how unreasonable and irrational I was being.
I can’t remember exactly what I said, but suddenly, his 6 foot frame came out of t
he trailer, towering over my nearly 5 ft self, and knocked me to the ground. He
took the fire extinguisher, and put out my triumphant fire. Still on the ground
in shock from him knocking me down, I got up, and we continued to fight. He slap
ped me, knocked me to the ground again, and began dragging me to the road. As he
pulled my tail end through a prickly pear cactus patch I knew he was aware was
there, he said, “You are going to leave this mesa. You are going to walk out of he
re, and I don’t want you to ever show your face on this property or on this mesa e
ver again. Now get out and don’t come back!”
I limped down the road in the dark down the dirt road towards the next dirt road
. I was terrified that the coyotes would spot me in the dark and make a dinner o
ut of me. I didn’t even have my walking stick, let alone anything that would actua
lly be effective against a predator for protection. I walked up the road to the
junction with the main mesa road and maybe 2 miles up the road. I was exhausted,
and so, I sat on a kindly old rock and had a cry under the stars. I sat there i
n the dark and cold for perhaps a couple of hours. When I sat down, I thought I
would wait for dawn and then head down the mesa, but as I pondered in the night,
I decided to go back.
When I got back home, he was still awake, and the door was unlocked. I went insi
de, humbling myself and graveling begging for one more chance. After me begging
for some time, he finally relented and said, “Alright, but if we get into it one m
ore time, YOU are leaving this mesa on foot immediately.” I humbly agreed and lay
down to find sleep.
Dawn broke cold the next morning, and I was so hungry and sore after the previou
s night’s exertion. I asked if he would build a fire so I could make some breakfas
t. This began another fight. It was a minor spat compared to the previous night’s
flare. He left and headed to our other neighbor’s place. Even though it was early
morning, I knew he had gone to drink Crown Royal Bourbon. I set about clearing t
he fire extinguisher covered ashes out of the pit, so I could build a fire any w
ay and make something to eat. As I did this, I thought about the night before, a
nd about how he had been so willing to toss me to the coyotes quite literally. I
grabbed the backpack that I used as a purse, my walking stick and headed for th
e neighbor’s place where he went. Once I got there, I asked him to give me my food
stamp card, and when he came outside, I explained to him in the privacy of the
outdoors that I intended to fulfill the terms of his late night ultimatum based
on the argument the morning of December 5, 2010. There was a cruel smile on his
face of when he said, “OK, if that is what you want. I hope you are happy with you
rself.” He knew that wasn’t what I wanted, especially after last night’s begging sessi
on that got me back into the house. He also knew that I really didn’t have any pla
ce to go but homeless shelters.
I set off walking for town. I knew it was a long hike that I really had no busin
ess making with my medical issues. I stopped frequently to rest. I didn’t even hav
e any water with me. Partway down, I found an old bottle of what I thought was w
ater someone had tossed from their vehicle. I was so thirsty I took a swig, then
promptly spit it out. It was moonshine, I’d had the pleasure of drinking good whi
te lightning before, but this tasted to be dangerously bad shine at that. I dump
ed it out to save someone else from it and continued on my way. My gut was on fi
re from the alcohol I imbibed the night before, and had to get off the road seve
ral times to empty my bowels. Luckily I am a country girl and always kept some t
oilet paper in my bag. I didn’t have a shovel with me though, and was angry at mys
elf that I couldn’t bury it the way I would have liked. I kicked dirt and put rock
s over the mess at least.
I began to be concerned about dehydration. When I thought I couldn’t go any furthe
r without a drink, I found another bottle. This time it proved to actually be wa
ter. I was so grateful! I had left around 8:30 in the morning. I walked 7 of the
nearly 10 miles to town. An older Latin American man picked me up and gave me a
ride the rest of the way to town. It was so nice to have a gentleman take pity
on me and want nothing from me. By the time I got to town, it was late afternoon
. It felt like I walked 12 miles or more!
Luckily, it was the beginning of the month, so I stumbled into the little pizza
parlor and ordered a personal pizza. I ate but one slice, and my stomach was ove
r full. So full I was afraid I would loose my hard won calories. I got a to-go b
ox and walked down the street to put myself up in a hotel room for the night. De
spite my exhaustion, my body would not allow me to rest, so I treated myself to
several baths in close succession. I had so missed having water on demand and en
ough of it to soak in. My husband seemed to think 9 gallons of water a week were
enough for two adults and the dog I had given him for his birthday in November
(to replace the 3 cats the mesa predators had all claimed).
I called my husband several times, inviting him to come down and have a bath at
least. I hoped that perhaps if he got into a more comfortable setting and had a
bath that perhaps he and I could talk some sense into one another. He wanted not
hing of it. So, I had another bath, enjoyed the rest of my pizza while watching
TV, (a luxury I both missed and did not miss at the same time). I also called my
neighbor’s daughter who had just recently moved to town so it was easier on the c
hildren to get to and from school in town each day. The next morning, she took m
e into Alamosa and to the domestic violence resource who then put me up in the p
rotected part of the only shelter in town.
I had explained to both places that I have panic attacks from pain, and that som
etimes a cigarette was the best way to end that panic attack. I was assured that
if I needed to smoke in the night, I would be allowed, even though it was not e
xactly within the procedures of the shelter. Sure enough, my first night there,
the pain got out of control and I had nothing to ease it. I had a panic attack a
nd made my way down to the lower level to ask to go out to smoke. The message re
garding my needs had not been passed on to the cruel gentleman who was watching
the shelter that night. When he harshly refused me, he melted away in my panic,
and all I could see was every man who had ever hurt me. I screamed and soon the
police were called on me. I spent the night at the hospital, and left with a fir
m recommendation to continue my medical cannabis (despite not being legal to do
so) and a prescription for Lyrica to help ease the pain when I could not smoke.
The ER doctor even told me in the presence of the officers who had brought me in
that I should go buy some weed on the street to get my pain under control. The
mental health worker put me up in a hotel around 5 am. I had been assured that I
would have at least one night there. I bathed again, and went out to get my pre
scription filled and some food. When I returned, I promptly began getting calls
from the hotel to leave. They informed me that check out time had come and gone
and I was to get out. The cops were called on me again, and I ended up back at t
he same shelter I had been at the night before. I could only bear to be there on
e more night, and then left early the next morning for the bus station.
I had decided to head for Denver where I knew there were many more shelters and
many more services for the homeless. Before boarding the bus, I called my husban
d to make sure it was what he wanted. He refused to pick up the phone. It was al
ready mid afternoon when I got into Denver. I was dropped off at Union Station,
and made my way to the “tattered cover book store” on the 16th street mall. There, I
bought myself a cup of Earl Grey tea to settle my stomach and to justify to mys
elf the use of their wi-fi connection. I made contact with some people over the
internet and let them know my situation. I hadn’t been homeless in Denver since I
was a teenager and couldn’t remember all the good places. I ended up in “Writer’s Squa
re” on the 16th Street Mall. It was one of my old haunts from when I was younger,
but the vibe there had changed a lot and I was not comfortable sleeping out in t
he open air there as I once had been. I spit venom at other activists, probably
trying to self destruct. Luckily, a fellow sufferer from post traumatic stress d
isorder came to my aid and helped me get my things to Samaritan House. But there
was no room for Breezy at the homeless inn. They made arrangements for me to st
ay at a shelter for women and gave me bus fare and directions to get there.
I narrowly missed my bus, and sat on the bench patiently waiting for the next on
e. Across the street from me were several of my homeless fellows bedding down fo
r the night on the street. I am not sure why, but I began to serenade them with
Christmas carols and other songs I used to preform with choir as a child. Whenev
er I stopped singing, they asked me to continue, and I did. The bus finally came
, and I left them in the cold night, perhaps a little warmer for my music. I fin
ally got to the woman’s shelter I had been directed to, was let in and given a bed
for the night.
:dammit: :bong:
then i went to Maine…. and found out my husband shot himself (a drinking buddy sho
t and killed another drinking buddy the same night……. why my hubby shot himself, i w
ill never know). He also abandoned the property and left the dog behind. I began
making my way home, but not before a run in with the law….
RE: Civil Citations #xxxxxx and #xxxxxxxxxx
given on Jan 10, 2011
by Officer Christopher M Ross
Dept :WSO Officer # 23
Your Honor:
My name is Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer. I frequently write under the Pen Name of “Bree
zy Kiefair”. I am writing to you in regards to two civil citations I received in J
anuary 2011. Those citations are numbered #xxxxxx and #xxxxxxx. I am scheduled t
o appear before you on March 22, 2011 at 0830 am. I have never received a civil
citation before, and have no legal counsel, so I apologize if I am out of line o
n any procedural issues.
On the afternoon of January 11, 2011; I 911 called for assistance. I was distrau
ght. I needed help. I had been asked to leave the house where I had been renting
a room located at XXX Belfast Road, Freedom Maine 04941. The primary renter of
this property, Mr. XXXXXXX XXXXXX asked me to leave the premises due to a petty
personal squabble. I had come to stay with Mr. XXXXXX and his family in mid Dece
mber 2010 after a domestic violence dispute with my husband on property in Color
ado that I was purchasing with my husband. When Mr. Horton asked me to leave, I
obliged. I packed my things, carried them to the end of his driveway between Bel
fast and Freedom, Maine and called 911 to come give me assistance.
As, I stated above, I was distraught. I was suicidal. I needed help. Two officer
s responded to the call, Officer Ross who signed my citations, and another offic
er. The officers wanted to search my belongings, which I allowed after providing
the officers with my expired medical marijuana license from the state of Colora
do (expired November 23, 2010), a card from one of the cannabis as a religious s
acrament churches I frequent (copies attached). , paperwork from a Colorado Doct
or recommending that I continue my medicinal cannabis use even after my license
expired (this paperwork has been lost on the road) and contact information for a
Dr. David Austin of the Dr. Lovejoy Heathcare center (7 School St, Albion, ME 0
4910 Phone: (207) 437-9388 Fax:(207) 437-2557 http://www.healthrea…82&IDPractice=4
) I had seen in Maine who knew I was using cannabis medicinally.
I informed the officers that I was carrying my sacramental cannabis pipes and th
at there may be some flake/resin on me. I also notified the officers that I was
carrying 3 pocket knives with me. The officers transported me to the hospital in
Augusta, Maine for evaluation and wrote me citations for my cannabis pipes even
though I have made public the fact that I believe in Cannabis as a religious sa
crament under the first amendment of the Constitution of the United Sates of Ame
rica. I cited the translation work of polish born anthropologist Sula Benet (htt
p://en.wikipedia….wiki/Sula_Benet) as the basis for my belief in cannabis as a rel
igious sacrament. I called Reverend Brandon Baker (307) 221-2180 (http://www.gre
enfait…m/homepage.html) of Green Faith Ministry NAC to try to have him speak with
the officers regarding my religious cannabis use. The officers refused to speak
to Reverend Baker and told me that Cannabis as a religious sacrament was not rec
ognized in the state of Maine. My sacramental pipes and “useable marijuana” were con
fiscated and citations written.
I arrived back home in Colorado after leap-frogging my way home On February 23,
2011. I am disabled and live on social security disability. As I stated before,
have no legal counsel, so I apologize if I am out of line on any procedural issu
es. I do not know how I am to answer these charges from so far away. I live on s
ocial security disability and have no way to return to Maine. I respectfully req
uest that you give me some direction on how to handle these charges. I have prov
ided the best contact information for me in this letter. I live in a very remote
area of Colorado and it takes time for messages to reach me. Email is probably
the most reliable way I can be reached. My email address is xxxxxx
Respectfully,
B
i couldnt go back and defend myself, so i cant go to maine at all until i pay th
e fines…..
i went back to my land, and tried to make the best of it….
I even had plans for a big ass birthday party that never happened…
Tuesday, April 19, 2011 at 11:31am
Hey Kampers,
Last night, under the full moon, I put up alcohol based tincture for my birthday
in May and realized how quickly the party is approaching. I wanted to get a lit
tle group started amongst those who think that they will be attending my week lo
ng birthday party (even if you only plan to be here a day or two). I had a thoug
ht towards classes (basic survival, alcohol based tincture making, glassware cle
aning and care, gardening, and so much more) for those attending the party, but
soon realized that I probably don’t have the strength to teach for a week.
So, I ask you all… What are your talents? Do you have something you would like to
teach the rest of us?
I’d also like to remind everyone that you will have to pull sagebrush for your cam
psite (I can tell you how to do it, I have the tools, and even my weak behind ca
n do it). I am off grid… That means that I carry water from town 10 miles away and
have no power source as my generator was stolen in March’s robbery. We DO have ra
ttlesnakes up here, but they are rarely a problem and I will give you some safet
y tips when you get here. I’d advise everyone to bring boots with high ankles. Als
o, nights up here in the high mountain desert can be chilly. Please be sure to b
ring some warm clothes.
Other items you should think about bringing:
tents, tarps and rain chutes
water (a minimum of one gallon per person, per day… plus some to wash up in)
food
wood
natural soaps
toilet paper
cameras (the scenery here is not to be missed!)
solar or car battery charging packs for batteries/computers/high tech devices (I
have no way to charge them at present)
musical instruments for jam sessions around the bonfire
your medications (no herbal medication will be provided cause Breezy’s financially
challenged)
and Anything else you can’t do without for a week (or longer if you are planning o
n staying at Mesa Kamp Kiefair for the long haul)
Cell phone service up here is spotty at best. If you are on verizion, net10, str
aight talk, or tracphone, you have a decent chance at waves of signals that get
text messages out fairly well. Voice calls are a bit more difficult, but not imp
ossible.
Watch for more updates as we move closer to party time.
May you all be blessed and send me a PM or text me at 720-280-2183 if you are in
terested in teaching the rest of us something while you are at Mesa Kamp Kiefair
.
Respectfully,
Breezy Kiefair
Founder, Mesa Kamp Kiefair
so, i just resumed my activism work as best i could….. writing reps and such like
this”
Before I even begin, I would like to apologize if my wording in this letter seem
s harsh or angry. As I write, I am very ill, consumed by pain, unable to eat, an
d barely able to leave my sick-bed. I am lucky enough to have a laptop computer
I can use in bed. I have written many letters to my representatives since Januar
y 2010 regarding HB1284. After a year and a half of fighting both my government
and my own body’s illness, I’m pretty tired of the whole mess. I am certain that my
frustration and exhaustion cannot help but come through in my writer’s voice, and
I did not want you to misunderstand and think that I am being intentionally disr
espectful. We, as a community are sick individuals with varying degrees of disab
ility. We should not HAVE to be fighting with our state government about a plant
, its use & regulation.
Every moment we spend presenting our case to the powers that be, we should have
to focus on healing from our ailments. We beg for sensibility in the Medicinal C
annabis Program written into the Constitution of our great state. On more than o
ne occasion, I have spent long hours (more than 11 hours strait on one occasion)
listening to the debates over medicinal cannabis via the web from the Colorado
House of Representatives and the State Senate. I have spent many more hours corr
esponding with my representatives on this issue so very central to my life and w
ell-being. I have spoken to the Longmont City Council on at least 2 occasions. T
his spring, I was at the capitol for a debate over additional proposed regulatio
ns (HB1250). I missed my chance to speak because it took too long to get to the
sick people’s turn to speak & I became ill. I was frustrated because I had arrived
a bit early to ensure I was near the top of the list. When my name was finally
called (it was called first), I was a few blocks away resting & listening in via
the Internet. I am very ill, even on my best days and have often exacerbated my
symptoms by working too hard on this issue. It is a sacrifice I am happy to mak
e. This plant and it’s benefits mean that much to me and I have endured many sacri
fices for it.
I have been on the Colorado Medical Marijuana Registry since June 2009. Medicina
l Cannabis was initially suggested to me in 2007 by my pain specialist at the ti
me. He did so in one of his last sessions with me before moving home to France t
o teach. He said he was tired of fighting the DEA here, tired of worrying if he
would be punished for alleviating people’s pain because he happened to write too m
any prescriptions one month. He said he was going home where he could teach youn
g minds instead of argue with old ones. He said he was tired of the pay he got f
rom treating his Medicare/Medicaid patients, but to his credit, he still saw pat
ients like me. He had a framed check for $0.02 on the wall beside his desk with
a notation in angry doctor scribble that it was payment in full for 2 different
patients office visits. He was a doctor who really cared. He never signed a medi
cal marijuana license because he was a foreign doctor and feared his license wou
ld be revoked, but he confided in me that he wished he could. He then urged me t
o seek out a doctor who could sign for my license.
He said, “It will not make the pain non-existent, but then, nothing does that for
you does it? It will help you cope with your pain in a more natural way. You can
smoke or preferably eat all that you need to and you cannot overdose, you see?”
I am telling you this because I have seen many doctors within the State of Color
ado, both before and after I received my medicinal cannabis license. There are v
ery few I have spoken with who have a negative take on the medical marijuana reg
istry. Those who did have a negative perception of medicinal cannabis almost inv
ariably ended up being cruel as well in one way or another. Most cite fear of th
e DEA as their reason for not being willing to sign for medical marijuana licens
es.
I’ve personally sacrificed a lot for my medical cannabis license. Much of my famil
y found themselves unable to deal with my medicinal cannabis use and I have been
exiled from their lives for it. When I first became certified for medical canna
bis use, my husband had a decent job and made enough money that my health was ma
king great strides towards wellness. The cost was a burden to our budget even th
en, but it was a burden we were happy to take on once we began to see the result
s. I was even able to get off of more than 20 different prescription medications
at an astonishingly rapid pace. I stopped needing to see my doctor at all. I ha
d been seeing my doctor every week, or on bad weeks, several times a week with l
ate night trips to the emergency room thrown in for good measure.
My husband became unemployed in the fall of 2009. It was then that I discovered
the agony and full weight of my disease being 100% without medication due to pov
erty can brings. My situation continued to deteriorate through the following Sum
mer when the regulations of HB1284 went into effect. Up until that time, I had b
een supplementing my need for medication by doing reviews of medication I receiv
ed for free. I would record myself using the medication, say what I thought of i
t, what symptoms it is good to treat, some history on that particular species of
cannabis flower, and personal opinion on all things related to medicinal cannab
is news I was aware of. I would also post my opinion of the medication on social
media outlets such as FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter
along with the contact information of the compassionate party. Once the regulati
ons of HB1284 went into effect, it was almost impossible to find charity cannabi
s any more. Even from my caregiver who had begun an indigent patient program bef
ore those regulations became law.
Hours of web-crawling desperate to find aid in getting my medication had also le
d me to the spiritual cannabis community. I met Reverend Brandon Baker and learn
ed of his personal crusade to help low-income medical cannabis patients. He call
ed his church Greenfaith Ministry, and over the past year and a half or so he ha
s helped me immensely. On my first meeting with Reverend Baker in January 2009,
I had many questions for him. Being a deeply spiritual woman who had called seve
ral other “religious cannabis” organizations (who I found to be little more that on
demand sacrament dealers with a set price) I probed Reverend Baker deeply even t
hough he handed me a large quantity of medication free of charge. I asked him ab
out the basis for sacramental cannabis use in the Jewish/Christian tradition and
other religions throughout the world (even though I had done my own research in
to this topic long before). He answered my questions with articulate grace. Sinc
e that first meeting, he has shown himself to be generous even in the face of th
e ever increasing demand for medication by patients in situations similar to my
own and worse. I watched alongside him as the demand for his brand of mercy skyrocketed
after HB1284 went into effect. He was able to help me personally less a
nd less, but I knew he was helping a greater number of people than before and th
at his donations (from dispensaries) had all but dried up. Still, when my need w
as dire, he would show up. He even delivered medication to my RV when I was othe
rwise homeless and parking at night in places I knew were friendly to tourist RV
s for free (at least for a night or two). Reverend Baker has done so much more f
or me that provide pot. He has provided me with spiritual guidance when asked. H
e has provided me with food when I was hungry. He provided pillows and blankets
to make my sleeping arrangements more comfortable. He kept his eyes and ears ope
n as I searched desperately for a bit of earth to call my own. He has done so mu
ch for me that it is difficult to articulate it properly.
It became apparent to me when my husband initially lost his job that the only wa
y I could really ensure that I would have medication would be to find myself a l
ocation where I could grow my own medication. With all the uncertainty the new l
egislation brought, I thought that the only truly safe place to do that would be
on land that I owned. I searched for many months to find a piece of property th
at I knew I could pay off on my disability income. The piece of property I found
was not in any way an ideal grow location, but it was in my price range, so I t
ook it. It was a windswept 2.56 acre parcel of high mountain desert, but it was
mine. We had no choice but to sell our beloved RV and move onto the land tents.
The RV simply would not make the trip, we could not afford a rental truck to tow
it, so we sold it put out belongings into a truck rented with the money made fr
om selling the RV, and made the trip.
That was in October 2010. Winter was close on our heels as we arrived at our new
home. Luckily, someone had donated an old Coleman pop up tent-trailer (about ci
rca 1975) to one of the preachers who live up here. They gave it to us. It was w
eather rotted and made of canvas full of holes, but it was a better shelter than
the tent we’d purchased because it looked to be a 4 season tent & turned out to b
e a 1 season tent. We were grateful. Perhaps my husband was not mentally prepare
d for this harsh environment of the high mountain desert, or maybe he felt guilt
y for not being able to provide medication for a wife he knew was very ill when
he married her, whatever the truth of the reason my husband changed I do not kno
w. I will not bore you with the details of my still-in-progress divorce, but I w
ill say, that in it’s own way my medical marijuana license/activism played a part
in the events are costing me my marriage license and a friend/partner I once lov
ed dearly.
After I separated from my husband, I went on a trip cross country between Decemb
er 2010 and February 2011. I visited two other states with medicinal cannabis pr
ograms (Maine and Michigan) and one state where cannabis has been decriminalized
(Ohio). Out on the road, I dug deeper into the proceedings regarding medicinal
cannabis in other states. There I saw in practice what I knew to be true from my
research on-line. Many other states look to Colorado as an example for all MMJ
states. Our rules are often cited in their debates, sometimes as supportive of t
he movement, other times against it. As you decide this case, I ask you to consi
der the multitude of medicinal cannabis patients your decision will impact. Not
just the many cannabis patients within the State of Colorado, but also the medic
al cannabis patients of other states with programs and states considering medici
nal cannabis programs.
When I returned to my land after a the trip, I was robbed. I was staying at my n
eighbor’s house. They were away and wanted someone to watch their place. It was st
ill winter, and was bitterly cold. I was more than happy to stay in a real struc
ture for a few nights. The first night I was away, over $9,000 of survival gear
and personal property was stolen from me including: my wood-stove (meaning no he
at), my generator (meaning no electricity), my pots and pans and can opener, my
beloved pipe collection (almost all gifts made specifically for me), my cannabis
seed bank meant to produce my medicine this short grow season, my clothes and b
ible were thrown into the fire pit. They even tried to fold my trailer up and ta
ke it. I was lucky that the trailer jammed on them refusing to be folded up so i
t could be hitched to their vehicle with 4 different tires (according to the pol
ice who came up, took pictures, and forgot the entire ordeal).
I even walked to town (about 12 miles) to hand deliver a list of items stolen th
at I had tried to call in to the officer in charge of the case several times. I
was simply shocked both at the robbery and at the apathy of the officers charged
“to protect and serve”. I made the walk to town quite regularly hitchhiking as soon
as I reached the pavement with mixed results. I did this because I have no tran
sportation and I needed to take care of business. I needed to get my food stamps
reinstated after my long trip in other states and file for divorce. I budgeted
carefully and got a new doctors signature to renew my license in April 2011. It
had lapsed as a casualty of disagreements with my soon to be ex-husband in Novem
ber 2010.
Despite the fact that my sole income is around $350 a month in Social Security D
isability and the fact that I am on food stamps, Medicare, and Medicaid, I was p
aid the $90 fee I should have been exempt from under the new regulations in HB12
84 (one of the few positive changes made in the bill). The problem was that I am
in the middle of a divorce and some documents say my maiden name and others say
my married name. My Colorado State ID has my maiden name on it. It has had my m
aiden name on it for the entire duration of my marriage. When I applied in June
2009, my ID said my maiden name, and my application for a medical marijuana lice
nse listed my married name. I received my card without issue (except the state d
id not process my card and mail it to me until November 2009). In April of 2011
my ID said my maiden name, my MMJ license paperwork also said my maiden name, bu
t my SSD paperwork and food-stamp paperwork all were in my married name. When th
e Colorado Department of Health complained about the difference in the names, I
sent CDPHE a copy of my birth certificate, my marriage license, the first page o
f my “Summons for Dissolution of Marriage” (to prove I was in the process of returni
ng to my maiden name), my food-stamp verifications, & my Social Security Disabil
ity paperwork, and the $90 fee to ensure I received my red card. I mailed this a
ll off certified mail, return receipt at the beginning of June. I got the proof
it was received a few days later. I have yet to receive my proper license (it is
June 30, 2011 as I write). The $90 fee to the state ate up about 38% of my inco
me for the month of June. That money came straight out of my medication budget f
or the month. Reverend Baker and Andy Shaffner (and adopted brother) joined forc
es to take some of the sting out of the expense. I will be forever grateful to t
hem both.
I am also very concerned that genetically modified organisms (GMO) is beginning
to find its way into the medicinal cannabis shops. I urge you to ban GMO cannabi
s and require that shops label their medication if it is not organically grown.
I have multiple chemical sensitivities as a sister condition to my fibromyalgia.
Respectfully,
Breedheen O’Rilley
AKA Breezy Kiefair
I am going back to michigan to stay with my sister for the winter….. I’ll continue m
y canna-fight wherever I go.
The above is intellectual property, and such is copyrighted. If I wrote it It is
copyright Breezy Kiefair 2010 all rights reserved. If I didn’t remind me to quote
my source LOL
Think I’m paranoid for copyrighting every word I say?!?!..
I’m a starving recluse writer what do you expect?
occupation: Writer, Artist, Freelance MMJ Activist/Consultant
Even more about me and medicinal cannabis on my google + profile

https://plus.google.com/108039434993096331483

~ Do all that you can to cultivate peace within yourself, that it might
shine out from you, and plant the seed of peace in other spirits, for them
to cultivate.~
{Remember… it is when we choose act on the issues that are in front of
our faces, when we choose to get involved instead of looking the other way
as our fellow man struggles, when we choose to take those small simple
little actions, working on righting little wrongs in our everyday lives that
really make change happen, those seemingly small actions are what really
make the world a better place and are a catalyst for greater social change.}
~Both quotes by Breedheen “Bree” O’Rilley Keefer~

http://www.scribd.com/doc/64585829/%E2%80%9CA-Long-Strange-Journey-of-1-Cannabis-Patient%E2%80%99s-Colorado-Cannabis-Activsm%E2%80%9D-or-%E2%80%9CAll-About-Breezy-Kiefair%E2%80%9D

https://sites.google.com/site/kiefairkeepsakes/giving-back

The LIterary LIneage of Breezy Kiefair

Standard

Preface:
My lineage is made up of many things, most of all experience, the experience of the ugly side of humanity. I was born to parents who cared little for me. They handed me off to one seemingly well meaning relative to the next, until there were none left to take me. None were left in my own bloodline who had any use for me. So I was passed on to friends of the family, and then to friends of friends of the family, until I landed in foster care, the worst fate of all. In my experienced opinion, the worst fate that can befall a child is to be raised solely by society. I learned to read when I was 3 years old, no thanks to my parents, only to my brothers and sister. I followed them around, with book in hand, begging them to read to me. It was the same book each time, a Chip ‘n Dale and Donald Duck Little Golden book with the cover torn off. I knew the letters on the pages had meaning. I could recognize the letters when written, and I knew that once they were strung together they made words. But I just couldn’t make out what those words were. I reasoned that if I could hear the those words enough times, I could unlock their code, and I did.

The Literary Linage of Breezy Kiefair
One magical day, after haring a book a million times,
and knew the words of it by heart as I knew my ABC’s
the letters suddenly transformed before me,
and somehow, magically I could read!
From that moment on, I began to devour books to escape
from my childhood which was unfolding grimly before me.

I was subject to all kinds of abuse

Physical abuse (I was beaten to within an inch of my life more times than I care to count!)
Pedophilia, manipulation, penetration, endless mind fucks – (that hurt more than fists)

My emotions
were toyed with
and twisted with tautological terror,
until I had been taken down a peg one too many times and all that was left was a trifle!
I was a child given over to society to raise,
yet the only civility I found was in books – books I devoured with an insatiable appetite.
Learning my ABC’s served me well.
The author mattered not, whether it was fiction or nonfiction was irrelevant,
all that mattered was having a book before my face

so I didn’t have to deal with the ugliness of man.

I read of Archaeology and Alice in Wonderland
of Bibles and Biology, of castles and clichés,
of dictionaries and dinosaurs, of epochs and ecology,
of fiction and fact, of Greek Gods and Gatsby,
of hobbits and Howl, of idiocy and intelligence,
of journalism and jurisprudence, of knowledge and knights, of Kafka and Kerouac,
of love (which I dreamed about experiencing, but didn’t really understand)
of mysteries and molecules,
of narcotics (I got a very different education as an adult known as being street-wise)
and National Geographic
I read of oblivion and observance, oppression and orators, orchestras and overtures, of outer space, owls and the orient!
I read of pagans and pageants,
painters (and the whole field of visual arts, with which I began to experiment)
and paleontology, palindromes and pantomimes,
papacy and paperbacks, parables and parchment,
Paris and particle accelerators, passion and pacifism,
patents and plagiarism, patriotism and patronization
peace and the parvenu people
the power of pens, pencils, petitions and philosophy,
of pixies and plagues, planets and the profound,
pleasure and plots, plumage and posterity,
poetry and prose (I began to experiment with these almost immediately)
politics and pollution,
posthumous publishing, prayer and pride
primates, princes and princesses, pirates and probability,
persecution and protest, pseudonyms and the psychedelic,
psychiatry (foster care gave me an intimate enough knowledge of this) and pogroms,
and of publication (which I became mildly obsessed with attaining)
I read of queens and questions (all varieties…
the quaint, and the quixotic, the quality and the quarrelsome, all the quiet queries of man)
I read of races and racism, of radar and the radical,
realism and reverence, redemption and redundancy,
relativity and remorse, resilience and responsibility.
Revolutionary as well as routine ideas entered me through books.
Slowly I began to realize the sadism of the name
so salaciously supplied by those who sired me,
and words that symbolized “Me” began to seem sardonic in sound,
so I simply sacrificed it, and my new signification saved my sanity.
Outside the tales, my talents and tested “genius” withering in the wind.
All I am was continuously trampled on an left in tatters,
teaching me the inescapable cruelty of time.
Until I grew to be a teenager full of temerity teetering tumultuously.
My tenacity (and my nose in any book available) the only things
tenderly holding me back from terminating my own terrible tale
in tall tenement housing and government dorms.
Ubiquitous ugliness, ulterior ultimatums, umbrage un-abbreviated,
and umpteen unchangeable underhanded unjustifiable uproots,
let me know I was undesirable, un-lovable and would remain forever unknown,
despite my dreams
I was valedictorian – very nearly
(my GPA was the highest,
but the powers that be chose
to give the honor
to those among them
who had attended the school the full 4 years)
I valiantly struggled for my honor, but all in vain
so after graduation I voyaged.
wanderlust then took my feet, and I was on my way
wanting to wade into all that wonder I had found within the worlds
not wanting to wallow in the waste that my life had been thus far,
wanting so desperately to prove myself worthy of any literary lineage.
Much later, with Xanadu unattained,
I settled into xerothermic xyloid adulthood and obscurity.
YY chromosome grew within me,
yet as a young yearling he perished,
ever yoking sorrow wit me
a year later I fell ill, my youth gone,
illness making me old before my time,
yet I carry on, for a reason known to Yahweh.

I am no Zealot
(though I continue writing zealously)
My writing is the zeitgeist of my own soul.
My zenith my come if ever I am included in part of
someone elses literary lineage.
perhaps then I will finally be worthy of having a literary lineage.
written by Breezy Kiefair at Naropa
November 10, 2007

poem post resurrected from: https://www.greenpassion.org/index.php?/topic/19229-poem-the-literary-linage-of-breezy-kiefair/

Breezy’s Broken Butt Bone… Need some things to heal

Standard
Breezy’s Broken Butt Bone… Need some things to heal

I’ve been walking around on a broken pelvis for at least 7-10 days trying to get a ride to the hospital. On April 9, 2012 the pain became so extreme that I finally told a little white lie that i fell in the tub and called an ambulance. I told another little white lie to avoid discussing the cannabis issue with a “luck of the draw doctor”…. I whitewashed the fact that I am chronically ill and said I am on no medications (cannabis is a food wink wink). That made my life a lot easier.

Usually I am 100% honest when I go to see a doctor. I felt bad being deceptive, but I just didn’t have it in me to debate with the doctor, and I was terrified I would be refused pain medication or treatment if I dared to mention the herb that I use as a religious sacrament. I say that it made my life easier to “sweep the cannabis issue under the rug” but morally, I was (and am) conflicted about it. So often I speak about how we should show our pot pride, but the sad truth is, this time I didn’t have any fight in me. This time, the pain was too bad to educate along the way. I’m not proud of my choice to not share the whole truth with that er doctor last night at the Hospital, but I am sharing the truth of how it made me feel to minimize the treatment that works for my ongoing health issues.

When they finally released me from the hospital, I paid for a cab home with money I didn’t really have. I borrowed it from one of my roommates who couldn’t really spare it either but was tired of watching me suffer. We dunno when the injury really happened, but most likely I hurt it trying to be superwoman in the move and then the break grew and grew over the month of March until I could no longer bear the pain. We moved because of stalkers. No need to get into details.

The thing is, I MINIMIZED this injury in the beginning thinking it was just a part of my normal every day pain…. And so did everyone else I was imploring for help… Have I become a bit jaded, well sure I have. Am I fighting that impulse? yes I am. Thanks for the love guys, I need it.

People have been asking what they can do to help me heal…

1. Due to stalkers, I need to be able to set up a post office box to be able to receive packages.  It is not that I do not trust my friends, it is that I am trying to protect myself from the stalkers that caused the move. The move caused the injury. My stubbornness made that injury more severe. A post office box will run $32 for 6 months. I retrieved this information from the USPS site https://www.usps.com/manage/get-a-po-box.htm

2. I currently sleep on a futon mattress on the floor. I don’t really care what kind of bed i end up with, but I do need a bed that is more comfortable than what I have. Bedrest and pain control is about all that can be done until the fracture heals of its own accord. Pillows are also a welcome blessing as I struggle to find comfort.

3. I have phoenix Tears oil aka edible hash oil for sale or trade to Colorado Medical Marijuana Patients. I personally have become tolerant to the strains we made the oil from. This batch was made from medical grade trim and sweetleaf. In return, I need flowers or concentrates to smoke, cannabis infused foods (medibles) to munch, or salves to massage into the pain in my ass. For more information on the edible/topical hash oil I make, please visit this post and watch a diabetic ulcer disappear! I will do product reviews BY REQUEST of any medication I receive

4. Financial support to pay for cab rides to follow up doctor visits, vitamins to help the bone knit back together,  purchase medication and provide food. Cannabis is an expensive medication not covered by any insurance. While I do grow my own, I am no where near harvest and will be needing medication to mitigate the pain. My food stamp benefits were recently terminated as well.

Low priority needs include:

5. Grow lights, nutrients and assorted growing supplies

6. Meditation aids such as incense, classical or relaxing music, or anything else you think might enhance my calm and help me heal faster.

I feel guilty for asking. Those who have been following my posts know that there are others out there that need help badly. One long time activist needs a vaporizer now that she is home from the hospital for a collapsed lung. Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, a family struggles to stay together and provide shelter, food, medications, etc for themselves and their infant son. The good news is, my friend with the collapsed lung is out of the hospital, and the family was given a donation that provided them a few nights in a hotel.

You can read more about the past chronic pain journey here. It needs to be edited, but I just have so many projects and not enough time.

I will keep this post updated as my needs change. I thank you in advance even if all you can do is hope/wish/pray/send energy towards my speedy recovery.

If you can help out financially, please click here to visit the wepay site that has been set up to accept monetary support. You can also email me at btokeefer@gmail.com if you would like to send something or trade.

Have a Blessed day!

Update Friday, April 13, 2012

I find myself unable to sleep more than an hour or so at a time.  I feel guilty asking for anything for myself, especially when there is so much wrong in the world! There are daddies worried about their daughters cause they just found out someone touched them wrong. Homeless parents wondering how long their precious child will have to sit in a dirty diaper. Severe pain patients going through opiate withdrawals because they tested positive for using cannabis to control the pain and are now cut off from their pain doctor…. don’t pain doctors realize they can kill someone like that? “Recovered” addicts are off to the races with their old flames and oh so much more that I dare not even go any further listing…. wow… I’m hoping the creator helps out  a lot of people today.

As for me, I am grateful that I DO HAVE medication today. We desperately need a liquid diet to assist in weight gain. I cannot seem to process solid food right now.  My biggest need is a bed.  My discharge instructions dictate bedrest and pain control. Well, if I must be on bedrest in order to heal, then i gotta have a bed I am capable of sleeping in… playing princess and the pea with a futon on the floor every night is not conducive to sleep in this amount of pain.  If my pelvis were not broken, the futon would be fine….

I remain very frustrated with mainstream medicine. The night I went to the er, i ended up with bruises on my arms from the way that stupid emt handled me while strapping me to the backboard. I screamed nearly the whole way to the hospital the other night… Sheesh… why bother asking me what position is most comfortable/uncomfortable if you are just gonna put me in the position I told you was least comfortable any way…. ofcourse, it could be argued that I got the bruises struggling against the restraints on the backboard, but why was I struggling? cause he made sure I was uncomfortable. I understand they were worried I had a broken spine, but logic dictates that if the patient is calm and polite, then a change of position makes it worse and causes her to become irate and scream, them perhaps you shouldn’t put her in that position!

He is the only one who grabbed me by the arm. Man do I wish I had the camera rolling. I just wasnt up for that in my condition.

My discharge instructions say that pain control and bed rest are all that can be done for me. Well, if they want me on bedrest, i gotta have a bed I am capable of  resting in… playing princess and the pea with a futon on the floor every night is not conducive to sleep in this amount of pain. If my pelvis were not broken, the futon mattress lying on the floor would be fine. Not ideal for a fibromyalgia patient, but it was ok before. My Fibromyalgia pressure points make it very difficult to stay still when I am in pain. After a seizure last night (too much pain) I began to worry if perhaps I should have been placed in a device to prevent me from moving my pelvis.  I Have NOT made a follow up doctor’s appointment cause I dunno how i would get there…. the doc they referred me too is way far away

I’ve had an extraordinarily emotional week. In addition to trying to deal with anxiety responses due to severe pain, I had a visit from my estranged biological mother who is anti cannabis and my biological sister whom I love, but always causes enough stress to escalate my illness. I said it best when they were about to arrive in a facebook status message.

I’m about to offer hospitality for the night to my estranged mother… what a strange experience…She REALLY HATES WEED still… There is a hell of a thunderstorm out there and then you get a call and hear that mom and sister need a room for the night and a meal… you think I’m gonna turn her away? heck no…. porch light is on bio mama & sis… my fridge is yours..

My poor mother’s cousin who was more like a brother to her had passed away. She had just picked my sister up from jail (charges were dismissed thank the creator!) and was in a bad place emotionally. I guess seeing me for the first time since she threw me out of her house for my weed was just too much stimuli for her. She began to threaten suicide. I did what I could to ease her suffering. The last thing I said to her was, “Please don’t kill yourself mom. I love you.”

There have been many other emotional disruptions this week ranging from stalker stimuli to good friends alienated because they didnt understand how to deal with me in this much pain, and I tend to be angry and communicate poorly when I am in pain I cannot treat.

I’d like to remind everyone that physical pain can make an individual look, feel, and behave like a person consumed with negative emotions or energy. It helps if the individual can understand that what they are feeling is an effect of their pain/illness…. this can help prevent getting lost in negative emotion land. Sometimes people like this lash out at people who care about them for little or no reason and then feel bad about it…. This is frustrating for all involved. Persons with negativity due to pain may also turn their “negativity” inward in an effort to prevent the negative emotion/energy from spreading. this can cause a”self negativity loop” that tends to feed into the underlying problem of pain by lowering the patient’s self esteem. Friends/Family members should do all they can to help the patient feel loved and valued to help diffuse this cycle. Positive reinforcement and love can combat negativity no matter the source.

I’ve also been frustrated this week with the number of people seeking free oil… No one should EVER have to beg for their medicine… it doesn’t matter if you can afford your medication or not. You still need it. It doesn’t matter what your “tolerance” (read what dosage you medically need.) It is really, really sick that so many either have to beg for compassion or do without their MEDICINE.. I take my turns being without like most all other fiercely dedicated activists. Most won’t tell you when they are out of medicine. I hear from my friends/audience all the time about how they suffer without medication. It breaks my heart. What is worse is when people have need of free oil because they have been victimized by someone who was supposed to help them in exchange for their money. When these people get their bank accounts emptied and their illnesses remain untreated due mostly to ineptitude and greed, its just wrong on a very deep level. I am happy to help these people out as my own finances allow. It is still frustrating to hear they have been taken advantage of by the folks at the link before they got to me.

I’m frustrated with bureaucratic nonsense in the cannabis as a treatment option in general. My “Colorado Red Card’s” time is running out quickly and I cannot afford to renew. My current medicinal cannabis license came out before they started printing “home-bound patient” on the cards so I can’t even get a delivery from my caregiver due to state red tape. It does not matter to the state that I have been clinically “home bound” since long before I got on the registry.  I am not upset at my caregiver, just frustrated that those in power think someone with a broken pelvis should be able to walk in and buy their meds a day after they are diagnosed. The emergency room doctor sent me home with just 24 percocet. I cannot get to a follow up appointment with another doctor due to lack of transportation. I guess they expect me to just lay in bed in agony for 4-6 weeks or until I have to call the ambulance again? I am honestly wondering why I even made the first emergency room trip at this point. Still, the knowledge gained that there is a real injury instead of assuming it was just an escalation of my every day pain is valuable.

Despite all the frustrations, there were some rays of hope this week.

I’ve done a lot of complaining in this post. I’d like to leave you on a positive note. Here are some cool things that happened this week.

1. On Wednesday, We changed Fat Freddy’s the bandage in the morning. Lo and behold, all the scaling has gone! We are now continuing treatment only as scar reduction! It has been so amazing to watch this horrible wound heal up and begin to disappear. Latest pics are at the bottom of the link we’ve all been sharing.

2. I wrote a little parody to “Where have all the flowers gone” as it applies to cannabis prohibition.

3. My friend with the collapsed lung was able to  get a vaporizer donated to her! She is now home from the hospital and awaiting delivery of her vaporizer!

4. Even the homeless family I have been blogging about got a donation for a few nights in a hotel room. They are still in dire need.  I pray you pray with me and help them out.

5. I used my convalescence to do some new pieces of artwork. The one that most applies to this situation is below. You can view the other pieces on my facebook like page.

6. I was able to ease suffering of others with oil

How can endocannabinoids be illegal when every human body makes them?

I will keep this post updated as my needs change. I thank you in advance even if all you can do is hope/wish/pray/send energy towards my speedy recovery.

If you can help out financially, please click here to visit the wepay site that has been set up to accept monetary support. You can also email me at btokeefer@gmail.com if you would like to send something or trade.

Have a Blessed day!

UPDATE April, 24, 2011

I am overwhelmed with the response to this post. One of my friends went to their local charity and dollar store and made me up a healing box that weighed 1/4 of what I do! A religious studies major from my Alma Mater, Naropa University, made a cash donation of $10. We were able to find a bed on craigslist for free…. the man even delivered the bed to me and helped set it up. I couldn’t have asked for a nicer bed to heal in! Shortly after that, another cannabis activist mailed me a benjamin and told me to get medication and to sleep…… Others are still sending things. I really am ok to heal now. My biggest worry right now is finding trim to make my next batch of mercy for others… If anything is sent that I cannot use, be it money or goods, I will redistribute it to those needing it. THANK YOU ONE AND ALL!

Meanwhile, I am doing all I can to get phoenix tears oil into the hands of those who need it the most while my bone heals.

Have a blessed day!

UPDATE 5/5/2012

my fracture is healed… thanks for the help from the hemp eazenow on to me bruises from the rent a cops at the hospital! they said they could see the fracture clearly and that it had knitted together well! I put the hemp eaze on my hip every night along with soaks and nutritional supplements… nearly zero pharmacological intervention (other than the diagnosis and initial pain control) for this broken bone! Thanks to Darcy and Bill of Hemp Eaze  and everyone else for answering the call!

here is information on the products i used:

Hemp-EaZe™ THERAPY CREAM

Hemp-EaZe™ THERAPY CREAM

Click To Enlarge
  • Item #: 333
  • Manufacturer: Tierra Sol Farm
Hemp-EaZe™ THERAPY CREAM Hemp Root Therapy is a 9 medicinal herb formula. 100% Organic. Hemp-EaZe is formulated to relieve muscular and bone aches, reduce swelling and ease pain. Our triple-strength proprietary blend includes; Hemp Root, Comfrey, Burdock, Lavender, Lobelia, Hyssop, Feverfew, Myrrh Gum, Sage, and California Bay. Hemp-EaZe rejuvenates circulation, promotes cellular growth, and encourages deep tissue healing. It’s a 2 oz. jar but, A little goes a long way. Our therapy cream spreads nice and thin, so it’s very economical. Great for Arthritis, sprains, joint pain, as well as, breaking down bruising, mending wounds, and relieving the discomfort of skin ailments, such as eczema and psoriasis. * The natural bees wax in the cream will begin to softened if exposed to direct sunlight or heat. If this occurs, set jar in cool place or refrigerate until solidifies again. Softening will not harm product. We use raw bees wax for it’s antiseptic qualities. We get our bees wax locally, from bees who no doubt pollinated our own herbs that we grow for our formula. Tierra Sol Farm is a GREEN company. We grow organically, buy locally, and we’re reusing. We reuse boxes for shipping to help reduce waste. * Results May Vary

Hemp-EaZe Hemp Root And Honey Deep Healing Body Butter

Hemp-EaZe Hemp Root And Honey Deep Healing Body Butter

Click To Enlarge
  • Item #: 400
  • Manufacturer: Tierra Sol Farm
Hemp-EaZe Hemp Root And Honey Deep Healing Body Butter Introduced at the 20th Anniversary of The Seattle Hempfest! Hemp ROOT has been proven to be successful in reducing swelling and easing pain. Now recent studies have shown that components in the root have been successful at killing Staph. infection! The Deep Healing Body Butter is 100% Organic SOY-FREE treatment for; bruising, sore muscles, skin irritations, burns, scrapes, and cuts. With A touch of honey, enhances this cream as a double antiseptic, preventing infection, promoting tissue growth, rejuvenating the circulation and easing swelling. * We use raw honey for it’s antiseptic qualities. We get our honey locally, from bees who no doubt pollinated our own herbs that we grow for our formula. Tierra Sol Farm is a GREEN company. We grow organically, buy locally, and we’re reusing. We reuse boxes for shipping to help reduce waste. * Results May Vary

Vapor Brothers Donate Vape to save WONPR president’s life

Standard

I begin with the letter I was circulating around to different vapor companies. Cher wanted a volcano, but it was Vapor Brothers who stepped up and made the donation. Thanks GUYS!

http://www.vaporbrothers.com/

I’m so glad someone gave me a link to this video:

Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer

AKA Breezy Kiefair

btokeefer@gmail.com

XXX-XXX-XXXX

Aurora, Co

USA

http://breedheenorilleykeefer.com/


April 4, 2012

To whom it may Concern:

I am writing to you on behalf of a medicinal cannabis activist named Cher Ford-Mccullough. Mrs. Ford-Mccullough has been listed as one of the top activists by skunk magazine on more than one occasion. http://www.celebstoner.com/201108027923/news/marijuana-news/skunk-top-pot-activists.html

She has published art and poems in Treating yourself magazine. Here is a video in which Tonya Davis of Treating Yourself Magazine speaks about Cher and her activism. She begins speaking about Tonya at around 1:56

Cher has also done two journey for Justice marches. Her bio on the featured speaker page for the Journey for justice march (retrieved from) http://www.journeyforjustice.org/march/speakers.html reads as thus:

Cher Ford-McCullough is the Founder and President of the Women’s Organization for National Prohibition Reform, Kentucky State Director of the American Alliance for Medical Cannabis and President of Compassionate Moms. She is a member of the ACLU and The Southern Poverty Law Center. Her name is listed on the Wall of Tolerance in Montgomery, Ala.

Cher participated in both the Florida and Texas Journey for Justice Marches in 2000 in the capacity of patient support. Cher has worked in drug policy and prison reform since the first Two Million Too Many protests in 1999. Prior to becoming a full time activist, she worked as a professional singer and a retail store owner in western Kentucky. Cher is married, has two daughters and four grandchildren.

Recently, Cher became very ill and was placed in the ICU for a collapsed lung (and a cannabis deficiency) Cher Ford-Mccullough really needs a volcano vaporizer to help her lungs recover from whatever put her in ICU. I am writing you to see if we can get one donated to her. Please also offer positive energy in whatever your tradition. if that’s a prayer, good vibes, a hope, a wish, a dream, a meditation, a candle lit or whatever you personally believe would enrich her on a spiritual level, please do it. We are all made of energy and vibrate… lets vibrate this wonderful artist who uses her skills as an activism tool to enrich so many out of that ICU and back home to her easel and muse. Her husband, Brian McCullough stands vigil with his lady. As I write this, is not out of the woods yet… she is still in ICU. those wishing to send her electronic greetings for free may do so at the following link.

http://www.stlukescr.org/resources-for-you/online-tools/ ICU in room # 207

If you can help Cher get a vaporizer, please contact her bitchcrafts420@yahoo.com or her husband Brian 

 

To anyone who Doesn’t think Volcano Vaporizer is the best vape around? well she needs a VAPORIZER, it doesn’t really matter what brand… write to your favorite vaporizer manufacturer on her behalf…

Better still, do you have a vape lying about that you never use (maybe you got a better one?) well, consider donating it to cher and her hubby Brian McCullough

UPDATE 4/11/2012

Today, I got the following message from Vapor Brothers http://www.vaporbrothers.com/

Hello Breezy,

We have tried to contact Cher about a free Vaporizer in Dec and Jan. Thank you so much for your email.
We have contacted Brian and we are waiting for a respond so we can send her out a Vaporbrothers Vaporizer.
We look forward to hearing back from him so we can get her one out to her right away.
Thank you for your support!!

VB Support, Stephanie
(877) 98-VAPOR

my response:

I just found out that brian’s email that I provided you is inactive. please give him a call.

May I share the message you sent me with my blog? I have a post up that has been trying to get her a vape since she was admitted to the hospital. I would love to show the world that there is still some compassion out there.

Hello Breezy,

Thank you for the info, sure you can post our message on your blog. I actually just contacted Brian and was able to speak to Cher, and I let her know that we will be shipping her out a Vaporbrothers Vaporizer today. We wish her well and we hope the Vaporizer helps her out. We appreciate all of her support in bringing policy reform forward.

If you happen to need a Vaporbrothers Vaporizer Care package for any raffles or Shows in the future please feel free to contact us. We would love to help you raise money for the cause.

Thank you again for your support!! We look forward to hearing back from you.

VB Support, Stephanie

(877) 98-VAPOR

UPDATE 5/5/2012

Cher is loving her new vaporizer!

“They sent it out the same day they called about it.

I’ve tried to just smoke,but i really can’t, so…

it’s good i got it when i did.”

thanks again vapor brothers!

Where Have All The Flowers Gone Parody for Cannabis Prohibition

Standard

Rewrtie of the lyrics to “Where Have All the Flowers Gone” by Pete Seeger

This additional verses were added to the song by Joe Hickerson. This song has been done by many artist over the years. I really love this live version by Joan Baez.

I have taken the liberty of writing this parody of the classic protest folk song for cannabis prohibition.

Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time prohibition
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time I know
Where have all the flowers gone?
DEA picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young clones gone?
Long time prohibition
Where have all the young clones gone?
Long time I know
Where have all the young clones gone?
been uprooted every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where has all the young hemp gone?
Long time prohibition
Where has all the young hemp gone?
Long time I know
Where have all the young hemp gone?
Cutting trees instead for every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the l warriors gone?
Long time fighting
Where have all the warriors gone?
Long time I know
Where have all the l warriors gone?
Censored content every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time prohibition
Where have all the graveyards gone?
It’s sad, I know
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Covered with flowers every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

 

2011-11-05 “Howl” By Allen Ginsberg remixed by Breezy Kiefair with video reading

Standard

2011-11-05 “Howl” By Allen Ginsberg remixed by Breezy Kiefair Part 1

Text:

I saw the best minds of my generation valiantly struggling to destroy the madness, starving hysterical educated,

dragging themselves through the occupied streets at dawn looking for a fix to their righteous anger,

angelheaded hempsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,

who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating class warfare,

who bared their brains to Heaven under the El train and saw First Nation spirit guides pale and staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,

who passed through universities with perscribed narcotic hazed eyes.. desperatley trying to conquer physical pain inside the dream of Ginsberg’s school whilst Debting Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war and peace,

whose doctors with the stroke of a pen excluded them from the academies for weak immune response & too many hospital visits and too much time off required…… and so retired to being a ghost in the machine publishing controversial essays on the benefits of cannabis therapy for the sick.

who cowered in rotten canvas tents in long dirty clothes, burning their resin, paying their land bills and heating canned goods on a candle in the absence of an indoor stove whilst listening to the Terror echoing still today and through the years,

who got busted for their sacramental pipes returning through Maine with a story of hope for Cleveland, Michigan and Colorado.

who grew fire out back of low end hotels in their RV or drank resin tincture on Paradise Mesa, dug in until death, conditions and the cold of hell in their torsos night after night

with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, cannabis and lack and endless wails,

incomparable blind streets of shuddering cloud and lightning in the mind leaping towards poles of Canada & Mexico and the whole prohibition world, illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,

Peyote spirits haunting the land of no halls, backyard green tree cemetery falls, canna-bliss blowing over the rooftops, storefront boroughs of teapotparty joyride neon blinking traffic light, sun and moon and tree vibrations in the roaring winter dusk’s of the valley, ashcan rantings and kind cannabis on compassion makes you light of mind,

who chained themselves to their occupation. for the endless ride from park to holy jail on love and hope until the noise of mace and sticks brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance in the fear light of the memory of the dead man from the Zoo,

who sank all night in submarine light of the capitol building and when riot police came floated out and sat through the stale beer/coffee house dawn in desolate 16th Street, reading the crack of doom scroll across their social media news feeds.

who posted information continuously seventy hours from park to pad to bar to Bellevue to museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,

a lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills off Twin Towers onto of the moon

yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,

whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights with brilliant eyes, gifts for the Sacred place just cast on the pavement,

who vanished into nowhere Zen horizon mirage above reality’s plane. leaving a trail of ambiguous picture postcards of the beauty of the world.

Who found it better suffering sweats and bone-grindings and migraines of junk-withdrawal in an MMJ state’s bleak furnished room, with the comfort of a pipe in hand and the knowledge they could use as much of this as their pain required and not worry about an unintended death.

who wandered around and around at midnight in the occupied parks wondering where to go, and remained, leaving no broken hearts except for their own, and even it, scrawled across a bit of cardboard and peacefully expressed for all of the anger and stress madness within their breasts.

who lit hash filled cigarettes at truck-stops truck-stops truck-stops racketing through snow toward lonesome freedom Maine in grandfather night,

who studied St. Jude, astral projection, and bop kabbalah, Rastafarian, the Egyptian book of the dead, the epic of Gilgamesh, and more because the universe instinctively vibrated at their feet in Nebraska.

who longed through the streets of Ohio seeking visionary First Nation guides who were visions themselves

who thought they were only mad when they have every right to be mad and their righteous indignation gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,

who jumped in pig cars on the impulse of winter midnight streetlight small-town blizzard Maine,

who lounged hungry and lonesome through ‘Mosa seeking meds or heat or soup, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to converse about America and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship to the safety of the horse-lands,

who disappeared into the underground leaving nothing behind but the shadow of dungarees and the rocks we gathered for the house and ash of my heart scattered on the land, self sustainable American dream in ashes because I cant fund it beyond the empty land, and even that is for sale for survival’s sake.

who reappeared on the East Coast investigating the medicinal cannabis programs in other states in purple pure gift scarf and with big pacifist eyes sexy in their pale skin passing out information and stories in exchange for housing like a true bard of old.

who cold turkey-ed cigarettes repeatedly protesting the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism (and picked them back up again in PTSD coping mechanism to throw them back down again and again),

who screamed in favor of the Cannabis haze of capitalism…. who distributed Congressional Supercommittee petitions in Universal Online square weeping and exposing the secrets of their hearts while the sirens of Los Alamos wailed them down, and wailed down Wall, and the severe weather sirens also wailed,

who broke down crying in protest parks as if they had been left naked and trembling before the machinery of other skeletons,

who used their whit to strike at detectives and shrieked with delight in police-cars for committing no crime but their own wild cooking pederasty and duty to protest.

who howled on their knees in the igloo and were dragged off the sidewalks waving signs and screaming valid points,

who let themselves be maced in the face, and screamed with joy for truth exposed,

who believed in equality for all, caresses and hints of unconditional love

who occupied in the morning and in the evenings and sent messages to delegation rosegardens and the grass of public parks and cemeteries scattering their opinions freely to whomever come who may,

who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up with a sob behind a partition in a public forum when a small & vulnerable woman came to hear their wailing song.

who lost their loves to the three old shrews of fate the one eyed shrew of the heterosexual dollar the one eyed shrew that winks out of the womb and the one eyed shrew that does nothing but sit on her ass and snip the intellectual golden threads of the craftsman’s loom, (DEATH!)

Video 2 text”

who shared themselves ecstatic and insatiable and fell off the net, and continued along the floor and down the hall and ended fainting on the wall with a vision of ultimate hope and prosperity eluding the last gyzym of consciousness, and a lighting a fire of self sustainability desire

who sweetened the minds of a million hearts trembling in the sunset, and were red eyed in the morning but were prepared to sweeten the image of the sunrise, flashing truths under sad eyes and naked in the soul,

who went out traveling through Colorado in myriad stolen rides, A.G. secret hero of these poems, poet and activist of Denver—joy to the memory of his innumerable fingers given to censoring conformists and cigarettes shared with corrupted youth in Naropa writing work shop breaktime day. I sing to you on mountaintops in caves or with gaunt waitresses in familiar roadside debates & especially quiet help in dreams.

who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in dreams, woke on a sudden nightmare, and picked themselves up out of heart sore despair… not drunk yet hungover with heartless Tokay and horrors of Wall Street’s iron dreams & stumbled to unemployment offices,

who walked all night with their souls full of dread on the snowbank docks waiting for a door in the 1% to open to a room full of steamheat and and lack of worry,

who created great suicidal dramas on the appeasement of bankers of the Stock market under the wartime blue floodlight of the moon & their heads shall be crowned with laurel in oblivion,

who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested the crab at the muddy bottom of the rivers of the Bowery,

who wept at the romance of the streets with their pushcarts full of onions and bad music,

who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the bridge, and rose up to build revolutions in their parks, who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned with flame under the acid rain skies surrounded by orange crates of theology wishing for wide open spaces,

who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty incantations which in the yellow morning were stanzas of gibberish, rambling and unpublishable without a proofreader’s eye

who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht & tortillas dreaming of the pure vegetable kingdom,

who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for a banana,

who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot for an Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks fell on their heads every day for the next century,

who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccessfully, gave up and were forced to open antique stores where they thought they were growing old and cried,

who were tortured alive in their innocent flannel suits on social security disability amid blasts of leaden verse & the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks of the fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinister intelligent editors, or were run down by the drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality, your government docs say your too sick to work, your government says your life is worth $17.42 a day. Make that work you sick lady in the wild all on your own.

who were trapped on the Brooklyn Bridge this actually happened and walked away unknown and forgotten into the ghostly daze of the protests, not even one tagline

who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of the dream’s window, jumped in the filthy Greyhound, leaped on haters, cried all over the street, danced on broken glass pipes barefoot..

who polar bear-ed it across frozen mesa to prove a point to psychopathic husband…. smashed phonograph records of nostalgic European 1930s German jazz screamed it was 1929 again, finished the joint and still stumbled down the hall just in time for their disease to make them throw up groaning into the bloody toilet, moans in their ears and the blast of colossal auditory sensitivity.

who barreled down the highways of the past journeying to each other’s hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude watch a widespread panic incarnation,

who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had a vision to find out Eternity,

who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & brooded & loaned in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,

who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying for each other’s salvation and light and breasts, until the soul illuminated its hair for a second,

who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for impossible criminals with golden heads and the charm of reality in their hearts who sang sweet blues to the social media class,

who retired to MMJ state to cultivate a habit, or Rocky Mount to tender Buddha or France to teach medicine or Southern border to live cheaply or Harvard to Narcissus to Woodlawn to the daisychain or grave,

who demanded sanity trials accusing the feds of hypnotism & were left with their insanity & their hands & a hung jury,

who threw Knowledge at political pundits and gave lectures on history to representatives and subsequently presented themselves on the granite steps of the madhouse with the shaven heads and harlequin speech of suicide, demanding instantaneous reversion to the constitution,

and who were given instead the concrete void of mainstream media, refused electricity, cold-water hydrotherapy long before the dawn, applications for protest trademark names, occupational therapy in the for of police brutality & amnesia,

who in humorless protest overturned only one symbolic table, resting briefly in catatonia as the peaceful prepare their souls for pain.

returning years later truly bald except for a wig of blood, and tears and fingers, to the visible madman doom of the wards of the corruptions and small-town censorship of infanticide in the East,

Pueblo State’s mountain views and Excelsior’s foetid halls, bickering with the echoes of the soul, rocking and rolling in the midnight solitude-bench dolmen-realms of love, dream of life a nightmare, bodies turned to stone as heavy as the moon,

with bio-family finally *****, and the last fantastic book flung out of the tenement window, and the last door closed at 4 A.M. and the last telephone slammed at the wall in reply and the last furnished room emptied down to the last piece of mental furniture, a yellow paper rose twisted on a wire hanger on the closet, and even that imaginary, nothing but a hopeful little bit of hallucination— yet in the mind hope still remains

ah, working class, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now you’re really in the total animal soup of time—

and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use of the ellipse the catalog the meter & the vibrating plane,

whose written dreams made incarnate gaps in Time & Space through images juxtaposed, and trapped the archangel of the soul between 2 visual images and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun and dash of consciousness together jumping with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna Deus

to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human prose and stand before you speechless and intelligent and shaking with shame, rejected yet confessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm of thought in his naked and endless head,

the madman bum and angel citizen in Time, unknown, yet posting here what might be left to say in time come after death,

and rose incarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in the goldhorn shadow of the band and blew the suffering of America’s naked mind for love into an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio

with the absolute heart of the poem butchered out of their own bodies good to eat a thousand years.

video 3 text

II

What Harpy of regulations bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination?

Moloch! Inequality! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unobtainable dollars! Children screaming under the stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men weeping in the parks!

Inequality! Moloch! Nightmare of Money! 1% the loveless! Mental Moloch! State controlled Media the heavy judge of men!

Class Warfare the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the crossbone soulless jailhouse and Super-Congress of sorrows! Wall Street whose buildings are judgment! Moloch the vast stone of war! Money for the stunned governments!

My country whose mind has become pure machinery! My Country whose blood is running money! My Country whose fingers are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo! My Country whose ear is an unknown and smoking tomb! My country who adopted me and is therefore my parent.

My parents whose eyes are a thousand blind windows! My parents whose skyscrapers stand in the long streets like endless Jehovas! My parents whose factories dream and choke in the fog while paying down their carbon footprint as if the damage was undone! Moloch whose smokestacks and antennae crown the cities making my body ache!!

Moloch is My father whose love is endless oil and stone! My father whose soul is electricity and banks! My home whose poverty is the specter of genius! My home whose fate is an uncertain roller coaster based on regulations that keep shrinking my resources! Freedom’s only home now whose name is the Mind!

Moloch is My home in whom I sit lonely! My home in whom I dream angels! Crazy in Moloch! Crazy Bitch in Moloch! Lacklove and friendless in My home!

Moloch who entered and attempted to own my soul early! My home, in your information superhighway I become am a consciousness not bound so much by a disabled body! My father who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy! My parents I abandon! Wake up in my country! Light streaming out of the sky!

Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs! skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic industries! Corporate Persons! invincible house or representatives! granite senates! Corrupt lobbyists! monstrous bombs!

They broke their backs lifting their country to Heaven! Pavements, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to Heaven which exists and is everywhere about us!

Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies! gone down the American Dream river turned to flushing toilet!

Dreams! adoration! illuminations! religions! the whole boatload of bill of rights constitutional BULLSHIT!

Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and revolutions! gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! Despairs! Ten years’ animal screams and suicides! Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on the rocks of Time!

Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell! They jumped off the the edge! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street! Were the 99%! This is what martial law looks like! As they are beaten back but do not submit.

III

Breezy Kiefair

Occupy Together! I’m with you on Wall Street

where you’re louder than I am

I’m with you in Oakland

where you must feel strange

I’m with you in Saint Louis

where you imitate the shade of my mother

I’m with you in Michigan

where you’re brother murdered a baby so you covered up the archives and put him to work as an administrative assistant.

I’m with my regulars

who pick apart and you laugh at this invisible humor

I’m with you in Denver

where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter

I’m with you in Colorado Springs

where your traveling protester’s condition has become serious and is reported on the radio

I’m with you in my heart

where the faculties of the skull admit the worms of the senses but only in shades of pain

I’m with you in Nederland

where you drink the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Indica

I’m with you in Facebookland

where you sell nugs with the bodies of your nurses

I’m with you in Facebookland

where I scream in a straightjacket that you’re losing the game of actual chess of the abyss

I’m with you in Facebookland

where you bang on the catatonic newsfeed

What’s on my mind? “the soul is innocent and immortal it should never die ungodly in an armed madhouse”

I’m with you in Facebookland

where fifty more shocks will never return your soul to its body again from its pilgrimage to a cross in the void

I’m with you in Facebookland

where we accuse our doctors of cruelty, insanity and plot the revolution against the bankers influence and unequal distribution of wealth..

I’m with you in Facebookland

where you will split the heavens and find the beauty where you are, resurrecting your living human freedoms from the superhuman tomb

I’m with you in Facebookland

where there are twentyfive thousand mad comrades all together singing the final stanzas of the songs of their youth all saying there is hope and we rebel.

I’m with you in Facebookland

where we hug and kiss the United States under our bedsheets the United States that coughs all night and whose problems won’t let us sleep

I’m with you in Facebookland

where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own souls’ chemtrails roaring over the roof they’ve come to drop censorship bombs the digital hospital illuminates itself   imaginary walls collapse   O skinny legions run outside   O starry-spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is here   O victory forget your underwear we’re free

I’m with you in Facebookland

in my dreams you drive from the story of your-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night to build a life here with me away from such woe.

 read source poem in its entirety and more edits here 

http://breedheenorilleykeefer.wordpress.com/2011/10/30/america-and-howl-by-allen-ginsberg-updated-for-the-occupation/

And now the master reading his own work…

“Howl” by Allen Ginsberg updated for the Occupation

Standard

Howl

Updated by Breezy Kiefair

For my friends, fans, and fiends

I

I saw the best minds of my generation valiantly struggling to destroy the madness, starving hysterical educated,

dragging themselves through the occupied streets at dawn looking for a fix to their righteous anger,

angelheaded hempsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,

who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating class warfare,

who bared their brains to Heaven under the El train and saw First Nation spirit guides pale and staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,

who passed through universities with perscribed narcotic hazed eyes.. desperatley trying to conquer physical pain inside the dream of Ginsberg’s school whilst Debting Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war and peace,

whose doctors with the stroke of a pen excluded them from the academies for weak immune response & too many hospital visits and too much time off required…… and so retired to being a ghost in the machine publishing controversial essays on the benefits of cannabis therapy for the sick.

who cowered in rotten canvas tents in long dirty clothes, burning their resin, paying their land bills and heating canned goods on a candle in the absence of an indoor stove whilst listening to the Terror echoing still today and through the years,

who got busted for their sacramental pipes returning through Maine with a story of hope for Cleveland, Michigan and Colorado.

who grew fire out back of low end hotels in their RV or drank resin tincture on Paradise Mesa, dug in until death, conditions and the cold of hell in their torsos night after night

with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, cannabis and lack and endless wails,

incomparable blind streets of shuddering cloud and lightning in the mind leaping towards poles of Canada & Mexico and the whole prohibition world, illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,

Peyote spirits haunting the land of no halls, backyard green tree cemetery falls, canna-bliss blowing over the rooftops, storefront boroughs of teapotparty joyride neon blinking traffic light, sun and moon and tree vibrations in the roaring winter dusk’s of the valley, ashcan rantings and kind cannabis on compassion makes you light of mind,

who chained themselves to their occupation. for the endless ride from park to holy jail on love and hope until the noise of mace and sticks brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance in the fear light of the memory of the dead man from the Zoo,

who sank all night in submarine light of the capitol building and when riot police came floated out and sat through the stale beer/coffee house dawn in desolate 16th Street, reading the crack of doom scroll across their social media news feeds.

who posted information continuously seventy hours from park to pad to bar to Bellevue to museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,

a lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills off Twin Towers onto of the moon

yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,

whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights with brilliant eyes, gifts for the Sacred place just cast on the pavement,

who vanished into nowhere Zen horizon mirage above reality’s plane. leaving a trail of ambiguous picture postcards of the beauty of the world.

Who found it better suffering sweats and bone-grindings and migraines of junk-withdrawal in an MMJ state’s bleak furnished room, with the comfort of a pipe in hand and the knowledge they could use as much of this as their pain required and not worry about an unintended death.

who wandered around and around at midnight in the occupied parks wondering where to go, and remained, leaving no broken hearts except for their own, and even it, scrawled across a bit of cardboard and peacefully expressed for all of the anger and stress madness within their breasts.

who lit hash filled cigarettes at truck-stops truck-stops truck-stops racketing through snow toward lonesome freedom Maine in grandfather night,

who studied St. Jude, astral projection, and bop kabbalah, Rastafarian, the Egyptian book of the dead, the epic of Gilgamesh, and more because the universe instinctively vibrated at their feet in Nebraska.

who longed through the streets of Ohio seeking visionary First Nation guides who were visions themselves

who thought they were only mad when they have every right to be mad and their righteous indignation gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,

who jumped in pig cars on the impulse of winter midnight streetlight small-town blizzard Maine,

who lounged hungry and lonesome through ‘Mosa seeking meds or heat or soup, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to converse about America and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship to the safety of the horse-lands,

who disappeared into the underground leaving nothing behind but the shadow of dungarees and the rocks we gathered for the house and ash of my heart scattered on the land, self sustainable American dream in ashes because I cant fund it beyond the empty land, and even that is for sale for survival’s sake.

who reappeared on the East Coast investigating the medicinal cannabis programs in other states in purple pure gift scarf and with big pacifist eyes sexy in their pale skin passing out information and stories in exchange for housing like a true bard of old.

who cold turkey-ed cigarettes repeatedly protesting the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism (and picked them back up again in PTSD coping mechanism to throw them back down again and again),

who screamed in favor of the Cannabis haze of capitalism…. who distributed Congressional Supercommittee petitions in Universal Online square weeping and exposing the secrets of their hearts while the sirens of Los Alamos wailed them down, and wailed down Wall, and the severe weather sirens also wailed,

who broke down crying in protest parks as if they had been left naked and trembling before the machinery of other skeletons,

who used their whit to strike at detectives and shrieked with delight in police-cars for committing no crime but their own wild cooking pederasty and duty to protest.

who howled on their knees in the igloo and were dragged off the sidewalks waving signs and screaming valid points,

who let themselves be maced in the face, and screamed with joy for truth exposed,

who believed in equality for all, caresses and hints of unconditional love

who occupied in the morning and in the evenings and sent messages to delegation rosegardens and the grass of public parks and cemeteries scattering their opinions freely to whomever come who may,

who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up with a sob behind a partition in a public forum when a small & vulnerable woman came to hear their wailing song.

who lost their loves to the three old shrews of fate the one eyed shrew of the heterosexual dollar the one eyed shrew that winks out of the womb and the one eyed shrew that does nothing but sit on her ass and snip the intellectual golden threads of the craftsman’s loom,

who shared themselves ecstatic and insatiable and fell off the net, and continued along the floor and down the hall and ended fainting on the wall with a vision of ultimate hope and prosperity eluding the last gyzym of consciousness, and a lighting a fire of self sustainability desire

who sweetened the minds of a million hearts trembling in the sunset, and were red eyed in the morning but were prepared to sweeten the image of the sunrise, flashing truths under sad eyes and naked in the soul,

who went out traveling through Colorado in myriad stolen rides, A.G. secret hero of these poems, poet and activist of Denver—joy to the memory of his innumerable fingers given to censoring conformists and cigarettes shared with corrupted youth in Naropa writing work shop breaktime day. I sing to you on mountaintops in caves or with gaunt waitresses in familiar roadside debates & especially quiet help in dreams.

who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in dreams, woke on a sudden nightmare, and picked themselves up out of heart sore despair… not drunk yet hungover with heartless Tokay and horrors of Wall Street’s iron dreams & stumbled to unemployment offices,

who walked all night with their souls full of dread on the snowbank docks waiting for a door in the 1% to open to a room full of steamheat and and lack of worry,

who created great suicidal dramas on the appeasement of bankers of the Stock market under the wartime blue floodlight of the moon & their heads shall be crowned with laurel in oblivion,

who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested the crab at the muddy bottom of the rivers of the Bowery,

who wept at the romance of the streets with their pushcarts full of onions and bad music,

who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the bridge, and rose up to build revolutions in their parks, who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned with flame under the acid rain skies surrounded by orange crates of theology wishing for wide open spaces,

who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty incantations which in the yellow morning were stanzas of gibberish, rambling and unpublishable without a proofreader’s eye

who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht & tortillas dreaming of the pure vegetable kingdom,

who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for a banana,

who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot for an Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks fell on their heads every day for the next century,

who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccessfully, gave up and were forced to open antique stores where they thought they were growing old and cried,

who were tortured alive in their innocent flannel suits on social security disability amid blasts of leaden verse & the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks of the fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinister intelligent editors, or were run down by the drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality, your government docs say your too sick to work, your government says your life is worth $17.42 a day. Make that work you sick lady in the wild all on your own.

who were trapped on the Brooklyn Bridge this actually happened and walked away unknown and forgotten into the ghostly daze of the protests, not even one tagline

who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of the dream’s window, jumped in the filthy Greyhound, leaped on haters, cried all over the street, danced on broken glass pipes barefoot..

who polar bear-ed it across frozen mesa to prove a point to psychopathic husband…. smashed phonograph records of nostalgic European 1930s German jazz screamed it was 1929 again, finished the joint and still stumbled down the hall just in time for their disease to make them throw up groaning into the bloody toilet, moans in their ears and the blast of colossal auditory sensitivity.

who barreled down the highways of the past journeying to each other’s hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude watch a widespread panic incarnation,

who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had a vision to find out Eternity,

who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & brooded & loaned in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,

who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying for each other’s salvation and light and breasts, until the soul illuminated its hair for a second,

who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for impossible criminals with golden heads and the charm of reality in their hearts who sang sweet blues to the social media class,

who retired to MMJ state to cultivate a habit, or Rocky Mount to tender Buddha or France to teach medicine or Southern border to live cheaply or Harvard to Narcissus to Woodlawn to the daisychain or grave,

who demanded sanity trials accusing the feds of hypnotism & were left with their insanity & their hands & a hung jury,

who threw Knowledge at political pundits and gave lectures on history to representatives and subsequently presented themselves on the granite steps of the madhouse with the shaven heads and harlequin speech of suicide, demanding instantaneous reversion to the constitution,

and who were given instead the concrete void of mainstream media, refused electricity, cold-water hydrotherapy long before the dawn, applications for protest trademark names, occupational therapy in the for of police brutality & amnesia,

who in humorless protest overturned only one symbolic table, resting briefly in catatonia as the peaceful prepare their souls for pain.

returning years later truly bald except for a wig of blood, and tears and fingers, to the visible madman doom of the wards of the corruptions and small-town censorship of infanticide in the East,

Pueblo State’s mountain views and Excelsior’s foetid halls, bickering with the echoes of the soul, rocking and rolling in the midnight solitude-bench dolmen-realms of love, dream of life a nightmare, bodies turned to stone as heavy as the moon,

with bio-family finally *****, and the last fantastic book flung out of the tenement window, and the last door closed at 4 A.M. and the last telephone slammed at the wall in reply and the last furnished room emptied down to the last piece of mental furniture, a yellow paper rose twisted on a wire hanger on the closet, and even that imaginary, nothing but a hopeful little bit of hallucination— yet in the mind hope still remains

ah, working class, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now you’re really in the total animal soup of time—

and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use of the ellipse the catalog the meter & the vibrating plane,

whose written dreams made incarnate gaps in Time & Space through images juxtaposed, and trapped the archangel of the soul between 2 visual images and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun and dash of consciousness together jumping with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna Deus

to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human prose and stand before you speechless and intelligent and shaking with shame, rejected yet confessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm of thought in his naked and endless head,

the madman bum and angel citizen in Time, unknown, yet posting here what might be left to say in time come after death,

and rose incarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in the goldhorn shadow of the band and blew the suffering of America’s naked mind for love into an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio

with the absolute heart of the poem butchered out of their own bodies good to eat a thousand years.

Howl

For Carl Solomon

I

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,

dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,

angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,

who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,

who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,

who passed through universities with radiant eyes hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war,

who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull,

who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their money in wastebaskets and listening to the Terror through the wall,

who got busted in their pubic beards returning through Laredo with a belt of marijuana for New York,

who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in Paradise Alley, death, or purgatoried their torsos night after night

with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, alcohol and cock and endless balls,

incomparable blind streets of shuddering cloud and lightning in the mind leaping towards poles of Canada & Paterson, illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,

Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery dawns, wine drunkenness over the rooftops, storefront boroughs of teahead joyride neon blinking traffic light, sun and moon and tree vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brooklyn, ashcan rantings and kind king light of mind,

who chained themselves to subways for the endless ride from Battery to holy Bronx on benzedrine until the noise of wheels and children brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance in the drear light of Zoo,

who sank all night in submarine light of Bickford’s floated out and sat through the stale beer afternoon in desolate Fugazzi’s, listening to the crack of doom on the hydrogen jukebox,

who talked continuously seventy hours from park to pad to bar to Bellevue to museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,

a lost batallion of platonic conversationalists jumping down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills off Empire State out of the moon

yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,

whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the Synagogue cast on the pavement,

who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a trail of ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic City Hall,

suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grindings and migraines of China under junk-withdrawal in Newark’s bleak furnished room,

who wandered around and around at midnight in the railway yard wondering where to go, and went, leaving no broken hearts,

who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing through snow toward lonesome farms in grandfather night,

who studied Plotinus Poe St John of the Cross telepathy and bop kabbalah because the universe instinctively vibrated at their feet in Kansas,

who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking visionary indian angels who were visionary indian angels,

who thought they were only mad when Baltimore gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,

who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Oklahoma on the impulse of winter midnight streetlight smalltown rain,

who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston seeking jazz or sex or soup, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to converse about America and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship to Africa,

who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving nothing behind but the shadow of dungarees and the larva and ash of poetry scattered in fireplace Chicago,

who reappeared on the West Coast investigating the FBI in beards and shorts with big pacifist eyes sexy in their dark skin passing out incomprehensible leaflets,

who burned cigarette holes in their arms protesting the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism, who distributed Supercommunist pamphlets in Union Square weeping and undressing while the sirens of Los Alamos wailed them down, and wailed down Wall, and the Staten Island ferry also wailed,

who broke down crying in white gymnasiums naked and trembling before the machinery of other skeletons,

who bit detectives in the neck and shrieked with delight in policecars for committing no crime but their own wild cooking pederasty and intoxication,

who howled on their knees in the subway and were dragged off the roof waving genitals and manuscripts,

who let themselves be fucked in the ass by saintly motorcyclists, and screamed with joy,

who blew and were blown by those human seraphim, the sailors, caresses of Atlantic and Caribbean love,

who balled in the morning in the evenings in rosegardens and the grass of public parks and cemeteries scattering their semen freely to whomever come who may,

who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up with a sob behind a partition in a Turkish Bath when the blond & naked angel came to pierce them with a sword,

who lost their loveboys to the three old shrews of fate the one eyed shrew of the heterosexual dollar the one eyed shrew that winks out of the womb and the one eyed shrew that does nothing but sit on her ass and snip the intellectual golden threads of the craftsman’s loom,

who copulated ecstatic and insatiate and fell off the bed, and continued along the floor and down the hall and ended fainting on the wall with a vision of ultimate cunt and come eluding the last gyzym of consciousness,

who sweetened the snatches of a million girls trembling in the sunset, and were red eyed in the morning but were prepared to sweeten the snatch of the sunrise, flashing buttocks under barns and naked in the lake,

who went out whoring through Colorado in myriad stolen night-cars, N.C., secret hero of these poems, cocksman and Adonis of Denver—joy to the memory of his innumerable lays of girls in empty lots & diner backyards, moviehouses’ rickety rows, on mountaintops in caves or with gaunt waitresses in familiar roadside lonely petticoat upliftings & especially secret gas-station solipsisms of johns, & hometown alleys too,

who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in dreams, woke on a sudden Manhattan, and picked themselves up out of basements hungover with heartless Tokay and horrors of Third Avenue iron dreams & stumbled to unemployment offices,

who walked all night with their shoes full of blood on the snowbank docks waiting for a door in the East River to open full of steamheat and opium,

who created great suicidal dramas on the appartment cliff-banks of the Hudson under the wartime blue floodlight of the moon & their heads shall be crowned with laurel in oblivion,

who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested the crab at the muddy bottom of the rivers of the Bowery,

who wept at the romance of the streets with their pushcarts full of onions and bad music,

who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the bridge, and rose up to build harpsichords in their lofts, who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned with flame under the tubercular sky surrounded by orange crates of theology,

who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty incantations which in the yellow morning were stanzas of gibberish,

who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht & tortillas dreaming of the pure vegetable kingdom,

who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for an egg,

who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot for an Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks fell on their heads every day for the next decade,

who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccessfully, gave up and were forced to open antique stores where they thought they were growing old and cried,

who were burned alive in their innocent flannel suits on Madison Avenue amid blasts of leaden verse & the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks of the fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinister intelligent editors, or were run down by the drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality,

who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge this actually happened and walked away unknown and forgotten into the ghostly daze of Chinatown soup alleyways & firetrucks, not even one free beer,

who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of the subway window, jumped in the filthy Passaic, leaped on negroes, cried all over the street, danced on broken wineglasses barefoot smashed phonograph records of nostalgic European 1930s German jazz finished the whiskey and threw up groaning into the bloody toilet, moans in their ears and the blast of colossal steamwhistles,

who barreled down the highways of the past journeying to each other’s hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude watch Birmingham jazz incarnation,

who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had a vision to find out Eternity,

who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & brooded & loned in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,

who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying for each other’s salvation and light and breasts, until the soul illuminated its hair for a second,

who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for impossible criminals with golden heads and the charm of reality in their hearts who sang sweet blues to Alcatraz,

who retired to Mexico to cultivate a habit, or Rocky Mount to tender Buddha or Tangiers to boys or Southern Pacific to the black locomotive or Harvard to Narcissus to Woodlawn to the daisychain or grave,

who demanded sanity trials accusing the radio of hypnotism & were left with their insanity & their hands & a hung jury,

who threw potato salad at CCNY lecturerson Dadaism and subsequently presented themselves on the granite steps of the madhouse with the shaven heads and harlequin speech of suicide, demanding instantaneous lobotomy,

and who were given instead the concrete void of insulin Metrazol electricity hydrotherapy psychotherapy occupational therapy pingpong & amnesia,

who in humorless protest overturned only one symbolic pingpong table, resting briefly in catatonia,

returning years later truly bald except for a wig of blood, and tears and fingers, to the visible madman doom of the wards of the madtowns of the East,

Pilgrim State’s Rockland’s and Greystone’s foetid halls, bickering with the echoes of the soul, rocking and rolling in the midnight solitude-bench dolmen-realms of love, dream of life a nightmare, bodies turned to stone as heavy as the moon,

with mother finally *****, and the last fantastic book flung out of the tenement window, and the last door closed at 4 A.M. and the last telephone slammed at the wall in reply and the last furnished room emptied down to the last piece of mental furniture, a yellow paper rose twisted on a wire hanger on the closet, and even that imaginary, nothing but a hopeful little bit of hallucination—

ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now you’re really in the total animal soup of time—

and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use of the ellipse the catalog the meter & the vibrating plane,

who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time & Space through images juxtaposed, and trapped the archangel of the soulbetween 2 visual images and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun and dash of consciousness together jumping with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna Deus

to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human prose and stand before you speechless and intelligent and shaking with shame, rejected yet confessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm of thought in his naked and endless head,

the madman bum and angel beat in Time, unknown, yet putting down here what might be left to say in time come after death,

and rose incarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in the goldhorn shadow of the band and blew the suffering of America’s naked mind for love into an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio

with the absolute heart of the poem butchered out of their own bodies good to eat a thousand years.

II

Breezy Kiefair

What Harpy of regulations bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination?

Moloch! Inequality! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unobtainable dollars! Children screaming under the stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men weeping in the parks!

Inequality! Moloch! Nightmare of Money! 1% the loveless! Mental Moloch! State controlled Media the heavy judge of men!

Class Warfare the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the crossbone soulless jailhouse and Super-Congress of sorrows! Wall Street whose buildings are judgment! Moloch the vast stone of war! Money for the stunned governments!

My country whose mind has become pure machinery! My Country whose blood is running money! My Country whose fingers are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo! My Country whose ear is an unknown and smoking tomb! My country who adopted me and is therefore my parent.

My parents whose eyes are a thousand blind windows! My parents whose skyscrapers stand in the long streets like endless Jehovas! My parents whose factories dream and choke in the fog while paying down their carbon footprint as if the damage was undone! Moloch whose smokestacks and antennae crown the cities making my body ache!!

Moloch is My father whose love is endless oil and stone! My father whose soul is electricity and banks! My home whose poverty is the specter of genius! My home whose fate is an uncertain roller coaster based on regulations that keep shrinking my resources! Freedom’s only home now whose name is the Mind!

Moloch is My home in whom I sit lonely! My home in whom I dream angels! Crazy in Moloch! Crazy Bitch in Moloch! Lacklove and friendless in My home!

Moloch who entered and attempted to own my soul early! My home, in your information superhighway I become am a consciousness not bound so much by a disabled body! My father who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy! My parents I abandon! Wake up in my country! Light streaming out of the sky!

Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs! skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic industries! Corporate Persons! invincible house or representatives! granite senates! Corrupt lobbyists! monstrous bombs!

They broke their backs lifting their country to Heaven! Pavements, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to Heaven which exists and is everywhere about us!

Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies! gone down the American Dream river turned to flushing toilet!

Dreams! adoration! illuminations! religions! the whole boatload of bill of rights constitutional BULLSHIT!

Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and revolutions! gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! Despairs! Ten years’ animal screams and suicides! Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on the rocks of Time!

Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell! They jumped off the the edge! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street! Were the 99%! This is what martial law looks like! As they are beaten back but do not submit.

II

What sphinx of cement and aluminium bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination?

Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unobtainable dollars! Children screaming under the stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men weeping in the parks!

Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the loveless! Mental Moloch! Moloch the heavy judger of men!

Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the crossbone soulless jailhouse and Congress of sorrows! Moloch whose buildings are judgement! Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stunned governments!

Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose blood is running money! Moloch whose fingers are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo! Moloch whose ear is a smoking tomb!

Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows! Moloch whose skyscrapers stand in the long streets like endless Jehovas! Moloch whose factories dream and choke in the fog! Moloch whose smokestacks and antennae crown the cities!

Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch whose soul is electricity and banks! Moloch whose poverty is the specter of genius! Moloch whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen! Moloch whose name is the Mind!

Moloch in whom I sit lonely! Moloch in whom I dream angels! Crazy in Moloch! Cocksucker in Moloch! Lacklove and manless in Moloch!

Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy! Moloch whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch! Light streaming out of the sky!

Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisable suburbs! skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic industries! spectral nations! invincible madhouses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs!

They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pavements, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to Heaven which exists and is everywhere about us!

Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstacies! gone down the American river!

Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole boatload of sensitive bullshit!

Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and crucifixions! gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! Despairs! Ten years’ animal screams and suicides! Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on the rocks of Time!

Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell! They jumped off the roof! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street!

III
Breezy Kiefair
Occupy Together! I’m with you on Wall Street

where you’re louder than I am

I’m with you in Oakland

where you must feel strange

I’m with you in Saint Louis

where you imitate the shade of my mother

I’m with you in Michigan

where you’re brother murdered a baby so you covered up the archives and put him to work as an administrative assistant.

I’m with my regulars

who pick apart and you laugh at this invisible humor

I’m with you in Denver

where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter

I’m with you in Colorado Springs

where your traveling protester’s condition has become serious and is reported on the radio

I’m with you in my heart

where the faculties of the skull admit the worms of the senses but only in shades of pain

I’m with you in Nederland

where you drink the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Indica

I’m with you in Facebookland

where you sell nugs with the bodies of your nurses

I’m with you in Facebookland

where I scream in a straightjacket that you’re losing the game of actual chess of the abyss

I’m with you in Facebookland

where you bang on the catatonic newsfeed

What’s on my mind? “the soul is innocent and immortal it should never die ungodly in an armed madhouse”

I’m with you in Facebookland

where fifty more shocks will never return your soul to its body again from its pilgrimage to a cross in the void

I’m with you in Facebookland

where we accuse our doctors of cruelty, insanity and plot the revolution against the bankers influence and unequal distribution of wealth..

I’m with you in Facebookland

where you will split the heavens and find the beauty where you are, resurrecting your living human freedoms from the superhuman tomb

I’m with you in Facebookland

where there are twentyfive thousand mad comrades all together singing the final stanzas of the songs of their youth all saying there is hope and we rebel.

I’m with you in Facebookland

where we hug and kiss the United States under our bedsheets the United States that coughs all night and whose problems won’t let us sleep

I’m with you in Facebookland

where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own souls’ chemtrails roaring over the roof they’ve come to drop censorship bombs the digital hospital illuminates itself   imaginary walls collapse   O skinny legions run outside   O starry-spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is here   O victory forget your underwear we’re free

I’m with you in Facebookland

in my dreams you drive from the story of your-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night to build a life here with me away from such woe.

III

Carl Solomon! I’m with you in Rockland

where you’re madder than I am

I’m with you in Rockland

where you must feel strange

I’m with you in Rockland

where you imitate the shade of my mother

I’m with you in Rockland

where you’ve murdered your twelve secretaries

I’m with you in Rockland

where you laugh at this invisible humour

I’m with you in Rockland

where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter

I’m with you in Rockland

where your condition has become serious and is reported on the radio

I’m with you in Rockland

where the faculties of the skull no longer admit the worms of the senses

I’m with you in Rockland

where you drink the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica

I’m with you in Rockland

where you pun on the bodies of your nurses the harpies of the Bronx

I’m with you in Rockland

where you scream in a straightjacket that you’re losing the game of actual pingpong of the abyss

I’m with you in Rockland

where you bang on the catatonic piano the soul is innocent and immortal it should never die ungodly in an armed madhouse

I’m with you in Rockland

where fifty more shocks will never return your soul to its body again from its pilgrimage to a cross in the void

I’m with you in Rockland

where you accuse your doctors of insanity and plot the Hebrew socialist revolution against the fascist national Golgotha

I’m with you in Rockland

where you will split the heavens of Long Island and resurrect your living human Jesus from the superhuman tomb

I’m with you in Rockland

where there are twentyfive thousand mad comrades all together singing the final stanzas of the Internationale

I’m with you in Rockland

where we hug and kiss the United States under our bedsheets the United States that coughs all night and won’t let us sleep

I’m with you in Rockland

where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own souls’ airplanes roaring over the roof they’ve come to drop angelic bombs the hospital illuminates itself   imaginary walls collapse   O skinny legions run outside   O starry-spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is here   O victory forget your underwear we’re free

I’m with you in Rockland

in my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night

Footnote To Howl by Allen Ginsberg

Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!
The world is holy! The soul is holy! The skin is holy!
The nose is holy! The tongue and cock and hand
and asshole holy!
Everything is holy! everybody’s holy! everywhere is
holy! everyday is in eternity! Everyman’s an
angel!
The bum’s as holy as the seraphim! the madman is
holy as you my soul are holy!
The typewriter is holy the poem is holy the voice is
holy the hearers are holy the ecstasy is holy!
Holy Peter holy Allen holy Solomon holy Lucien holy
Kerouac holy Huncke holy Burroughs holy Cas-
sady holy the unknown buggered and suffering
beggars holy the hideous human angels!
Holy my mother in the insane asylum! Holy the cocks
of the grandfathers of Kansas!
Holy the groaning saxophone! Holy the bop
apocalypse! Holy the jazzbands marijuana
hipsters peace & junk & drums!
Holy the solitudes of skyscrapers and pavements! Holy
the cafeterias filled with the millions! Holy the
mysterious rivers of tears under the streets!
Holy the lone juggernaut! Holy the vast lamb of the
middle class! Holy the crazy shepherds of rebell-
ion! Who digs Los Angeles IS Los Angeles!
Holy New York Holy San Francisco Holy Peoria &
Seattle Holy Paris Holy Tangiers Holy Moscow
Holy Istanbul!
Holy time in eternity holy eternity in time holy the
clocks in space holy the fourth dimension holy
the fifth International holy the Angel in Moloch!
Holy the sea holy the desert holy the railroad holy the
locomotive holy the visions holy the hallucina-
tions holy the miracles holy the eyeball holy the
abyss!
Holy forgiveness! mercy! charity! faith! Holy! Ours!
bodies! suffering! magnanimity!
Holy the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent
kindness of the soul!