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The Tale of The Heart of Atnimera, a cannabis infused Opal emerald amulet

The Tale of The Heart of Atnimera, a cannabis infused Opal emerald amulet

and  Introduction by: Breezy Kiefair
The name Atnimera comes from a fantasy novel series Breezy Kiefair has written. The heart of Atnimera is an amulet in real life that I plan to write into the story. If you would like to read that fictional tale, you may begin your journey here:http://www.scribd.com/doc/77199602/1Of-Dragon-s-Fate-Book-1-Emergence-Part-1-Version3
But this is the tale of a very real amulet made by a wonderful artist and how her artistry inspired me to write a real object into a novel… and how that object became changed and forever infused with cannabis.This object was made by: MaeCody Gems & Jewels you can find her beautiful stone and wire work on Etsy

BUY Your Jewelry AT:  MaeCody Gems & Jewels on Etsy , Support an amazing independent talent

 To learn more about Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer who created these lovely wire work pendants and has taken such care in charging them, please read

The Healing Tale of Wren

This is my opal/emerald amulet that the talented wren is trading me for my birthday last May. I sent her some prints from Please Bogart my art, and she set her hands to work for me —
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=798133010206710&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1
This is my opal/emerald amulet that the talented wren is trading me for my birthday. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=798133010206710&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

This is my opal/emerald amulet that the talented wren is trading me for my birthday. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=798133010206710&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

 

 

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On the left is an opal… on the right, an emerald. The opal is my only son, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts‘ birth stone (October). The emerald is both my birth stone and Westley’s death month stone. What we see here is wire turned with the best of intentions and acme of skill. Thank you so much wren. I’m so honored. — https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=799102313443113&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1
On the left is an opal... on the right, an emerald. The opal is my only son, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts' birth stone (october). The emerald is both my birth stone and Westley's death month stone. What we see here is wire turned with the besto of intentions and acme of skill. Thank you so much wren. I'm so honored. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=799102313443113&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

On the left is an opal… on the right, an emerald. The opal is my only son, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts’ birth stone (October The emerald is both my birth stone and Westley’s death month stone. What we see here is wire turned with the best of intentions and acme of skill. Thank you so much wren. I’m so honored. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=799102313443113&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

I wore the Heart of Atnimera for many months. Before I continue, everyone should understand that Opals are a very Brittle stone in need of frequent oiling, a crack in an opal is common and I probably bear most of the blame for it cracking by not oiling it properly. I find no fault in the craftsmanship. The opal in the old Heart of Atnimera had broken. On a day when my heart likewise was broken, but that is another tale. Upon hearing my “other tale”. Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer  sat down at her MaeCody Gems & Jewels bench and crafted me this queenly pendant on a beautiful wire work chain.
The opal in the old Heart of Atnimera had broken. On a day when my heart likewise was broken. Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer sat down at her MaeCody Gems & Jewels bench and crafted me this queenly pendant on a beautiful wire work chain. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer in Denver, Colorado.

The opal in the old Heart of Atnimera had broken. On a day when my heart likewise was broken. Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer sat down at her MaeCody Gems & Jewels bench and crafted me this queenly pendant on a beautiful wire work chain. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer in Denver, Colorado.

As soon as the replacement arrived,  I couldn’t help myself… I had to wear the new amulet right away… but a few days later…. I thought about the old and broken Heart of Atnimera… still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it.
I couldn't help myself... I had to wear the new amulet right away... but a few days later.... I thought about the old and broken heart of atnimera... still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it. Today I went and retreived the heart of atnimera and found a surprise... note the difference in the shades of opals... one is almost like amber dark under the copper. I squeeeled with delight when I found the opal had swollen aw little and the wire work had tightened around the stone meaning I could once again wear the heart of atnimera with pride

I couldn’t help myself… I had to wear the new amulet right away… but a few days later…. I thought about the old and broken heart of atnimera… still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it. Today I went and retreived the heart of atnimera and found a surprise… note the difference in the shades of opals… one is almost like amber dark under the copper. I squeeeled with delight when I found the opal had swollen aw little and the wire work had tightened around the stone meaning I could once again wear the heart of Atnimera with pride

I thought more and more about the old and broken Heart of Atnimera… still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it. Today I went and retrieved the heart of Atnimera and found a surprise… note the difference in the shades of opals… one is almost like amber dark under the copper. I squealed with delight when I found the opal had swollen aw little and the wire work had tightened around the stone meaning I could once again wear the heart of Atnimera with pride

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The Origin of The Heart of Atnimera

By: Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer


The life of this amulet is already set into it’s creation Breezy. As enchanting an unnamed creation is a bit tricky but worth the time. Your amulet has been carried with me every day, though all the muck and heavy emotions, through all the joys and trials of time spent with the Creator. She was there when I was joyful, she was there when I was in pain. She was there to listen, and soak up my hopes and dreams. She was there to capture the energies of the Triple Goddess to pass them on to a future with the one she was intended for. Intentions… Your name has been placed on each bend, each turn of the coil, and sets of three. Cleansed, smudged and anointed, I give this gift to you. Please give her a name so she might live.
Emerald Gemstone meaning
The emerald is the sacred stone of the goddess Venus. It was thought to preserve love, and has long been the symbol of hope. It is considered by many to be the stone of prophecy. The emerald acts as a tranquilizer for a troubled mind.
The emerald is said to bring the wearer reason and wisdom. The strongest time for the powers of the emerald is said to be spring Lucky for love, give your lover an emerald to stay faithful.
In several cultures the emerald was the symbol for fertilizing rain. In the Christian faith it is the symbol of faith and hope. Healing properties of Emerald
Emerald is used by healers to help heal the heart. The power of the Emerald is highest at the full moon.
Some cultures thought the emerald would heal any disease of the eye. The emerald would be placed in a container of water overnight and the water would be poured on the eyes the next day.
Emerald is a stone of great harmony, wisdom and love. Giving your lover an Emerald will bring the lover closer if the giver’s motives are pure love. The Emerald can be a bridge between 2 people. The Emerald vibrates with love. https://crystal-cure.com/emerald.html
Opal History, Lore and Properties
“Opal…Made up of the glories of the most precious gems, to describe it is a matter of inexpressible difficulty: there is in it the gentler fire of the Ruby, there is the brilliant purple of the Amethyst, there is the sea-green of the Emerald, all shining together in an incredible union. Some aim at rivaling in lustre the brightest azure…of the painter’s palette, others the flame of burning sulphur, or of a fire quickened by oil.” ~ Pliny the Elder
The name Opal is derived from the Sanskrit word “upala”, meaning “valuable stone”. This is believed to be the root word for the Greek term “opallios”, which translates as “color change”.
Opal is thought to have been discovered as long as 4,000 years ago, and myths and lore abound in practically all cultures about this brilliant gemstone. The ancient Greeks thought opal to be the tears of Zeus and prized it as highly as diamonds. They believed opal gave the gift of foresight and prophecy, which would ensure the owner’s success in war, business and life.
The legend of the Australian aborigine tells that opal is ‘creator’s footprint that touched the earth at the base of a rainbow to bring harmony’.
The ancient Romans wore opal as a symbol of hope and purity and believed it could cure illness. In ancient India, opal was referred to as the Goddess of the Rainbow, turned to stone. Ancient Arab cultures believed opal had fallen from the sky and that the play of color was trapped lightning. According to Arab lore, opal could make the wearer invisible. The ancient Australian aborigines, however, believed in a more sinister origin. They thought opal to be half serpent and half devil, and that the brightly colored fire within the stone was an attempt to lure them into the devil’s lair.
Opal has been thought to have healing powers in many world cultures, and in the middle ages, it became known as the Opthalmius, or Eye Stone, and was thought to strengthen eyesight. Blonde maidens wore opals to protect their hair from fading or darkening.
In the Middle Ages, Opal was considered a stone that could provide great luck because it was believed to possess all the virtues of each gemstone whose color was represented in the color spectrum of the opal.
Ethiopian Opal:
This stone is also known as the “Chocolate Opal” because of its chocolate color inside its nodule. Another Opal was discovered with very brilliant colors and mostly red and little blue (unlike those opals mined in Australia) and is called Ethiopian Fire Opal.
There is also Wello Opal which is mined in the high desert of Ethiopia. This is actually a combination of various kinds of opal which are mined in Wello, Ethiopia.
Good Ethiopian opals have diverse play of colors from Neon reds, oranges, green, blue, white, yellow, brown and a fire color. There are even colors that are not present in Australian opals like turquoise and indigos. Ethiopian fire opals are popular as they have striking pattern formations which make each opal so unique.
However, there has also been rumors and superstition about the Opal as being a stone of bad luck. At one point opal had became so popular and wanted that it began to rival the diamond in popularity, so the diamond merchants began spreading the rumor that opals brought bad luck to the wearer. It was quite effective, and even today, there are those who believe it is unlucky to buy or wear one unless it is your birthstone (October)
However, these superstitions of bad luck were not believed by all including the Queen Elizabeth II. She ensured that all her subjects knew that she did not believe in these rumors and superstitions. Throughout her reign, she wore opals herself and gave them to her daughters as gifts. The Queen’s efforts have been credited with helping opal shed its bad luck reputation and regain popularity with the public. http://crystal-cure.com/article-opal-history-properties.html
How to Enchant an Object
To “enchant” an object is to fill it with energy for a specific purpose. While there are all sorts of “ookey-spooky,” and dramatically ritualized methods of doing so, what it all basically boils down to is direct, programmed energy that has been gatherer and shaped by the will of the magician through deliberate visualization. What happens in the mind is a microcosm of what happens in the macrocosm of the physical world. This is what the phrase “As above, so below” means. What happens in the microcosm of our minds can be directly reflected in the macrocosm of the world outside the mind.
So to enchant an object, and there by change it into a talisman, all you need to do is concentrate on directing energy for a specific purpose and direct it into the object. In the case of being “invisible” what you would want to do is visualize yourself walking along in a swirl of concealing mist (this mist represents the energy you are gathering). In you mind, see people starting to look at the mist, only to have their gaze “slide” off, pulled to one side or drawn to something near you rather than focusing *on* you. When you have built a clear image of this in your mind then visualize the ring and see the swirling mist of energy being drawn into and stored within the ring.
When all of the mist has been drawn into the ring you’re done… maybe. At this point you can either “seal” the ring and be done with it, or you can add a “trigger” which will turn the power of the talisman on or off deliberately.
With the former, the power of the talisman will be constantly active and the only way to stop it will be to take it off and place it in a bag or something that has been specifically charged to block the activity of the ring.
With the latter, you install an on/off switch, basically. This can be either as set of spoken words of phrases (make sure it’s something easy to remember, but not so common as to be used in every-day speech: “shields up” and “shields down” works well) or you can use a simple visualization (when you want it to activate, visualize the mist leaving the ring and surrounding you, and when you want it to deactivate visualize the mist being pulled back into the ring.)
Creating the trigger takes a little more work on your part, but is usually well worth it as you can wear the ring at all times without worry. With the other method, you’ll have to deliberately put it on and take it off, which increases the risk of loosing it… and few things are harder to find that an invisibility talisman!
Now as for a protection ritual, I have and example of a personal protection ritual if that’s what you’re actually looking for at http://www.geocities.com/jkarrah/Protection.html
The ring we have been talking about in this example would be perfect to use as the “Personal item” that would be transformed into the talisman.
I would also like to point out that, while the ritual itself appears on the surface to be fairly elaborate, it could be easily adjusted. The cleansing of the ring can be done simply by running it under clear water while visualizing all unwanted energies being washed down the drain, the runes can be drawn on a piece of white paper using ink of your astrological color (if possible write them in a circular pattern the put the ring inside the rune circle), and then just do the chants.
The key to this or any sort of magic is that you have a clear, solid “image” of your intent… what it is you want to have happen. This is what it going to allow your subconscious to gather the energies you need and program them with your desired purpose. If you are uncertain as to *exactly* what it is you intend to accomplish then your results will be uncertain. You don’t have to know the exact mechanics of “how” the task should be accomplished (in fact, it’s usually best if you just set some basic parameters and let the universe take care of the details), but you do need to precisely know and understand the “what” and the “why.”
Also, with an item of jewelry being used as the talisman, it is possible to have the item professionally engraved. For our ring example, if the band is wide enough, you could take it and a straight-line rendition of the protection runes from the above ritual to a jeweler’s and ask if they could engrave those symbols onto the ring for you (do this *before* you perform the ritual).
*A talisman is an object that has been specifically charged to perform a specific function. Talismans are usually, but not always, man made. An amulet, on the other hand, is an object, usually of natural origin (i.e. crystals, stones, plants, *naturally shed* feathers, etc. which have certain “virtues” and magical properties as an inherent part of their existence.http://www.geocities.com/jkarrah/Enchantment.html
The Triple Goddess
The triple moon is a Goddess symbol that represents the Maiden, Mother, and Crone as the waxing, full, and waning moon. It is also associated with feminine energy, mystery and psychic abilities. You often see this symbol on crowns or other head-pieces, particularly worn by High Priestesses.
The Maiden represents enchantment, inception, expansion, the female principle, the promise of new beginnings, youth, excitement, and a carefree erotic aura. The Maiden in Greek Mythology is Persephone – purity – and a representation of new beginnings. Other maiden goddesses include: Brigid, Nimue, among others.
The Mother represents ripeness, fertility, fulfillment, stability, and power. The Mother Goddess in Greek mythology is Demeter, representing wellspring of life, giving and compassionate. Other mother goddesses include: Aa, Ambika, Ceres, Astarte, Lakshmi.
The Crone represents wisdom, repose, and compassion. The Crone in Greek mythology is Hecate – wise, knowing, a culmination of a lifetime of experience. Crone goddesses include: Hel, Maman Brigitte, Oya, Sedna, Skuld, and others.
Using natural and antiqued copper wire

 To learn more about Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer who created these lovely wire work pendants and has taken such care in charging them, please read

The Healing Tale of Wren

PTSD People and Passive Aggressive People… a toxic mix

I admit to being a deeply flawed and scarred individual. I have shared several links this morning regarding Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to help people better understand what it is like to live inside a PTSD mind and provide some do’s and don’ts on how to deal with and help someone suffering with this mental illness. I have also provided some links on Passive–aggressive behavior to shed some light on how someone exhibiting passive aggressive tendencies could easily escalate the symptoms of someone suffering from PTSD. I hope this information will be helpful to my friends in dealing with me and will also shed some light on the dynamics of interactions with others and why things have spiraled out of control over the past 2 years or so.

I was sure to post more articles about ptsd than passive aggressive behaviors to take more responsibility for being an individual with ptsd than i am laying blame for passive aggressive behaviors that tend to push my ptsd buttons.

Lets look at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder first.

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What is post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD?

PTSD is an anxiety disorder that some people get after seeing or living through a dangerous event.

When in danger, it’s natural to feel afraid. This fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in PTSD, this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger.

Who gets PTSD?

Anyone can get PTSD at any age. This includes war veterans and survivors of physical and sexual assault, abuse, accidents, disasters, and many other serious events.

Not everyone with PTSD has been through a dangerous event. Some people get PTSD after a friend or family member experiences danger or is harmed. The sudden, unexpected death of a loved one can also cause PTSD.

What are the symptoms of PTSD?

PTSD can cause many symptoms. These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:

1. Re-experiencing symptoms:
Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
Bad dreams
Frightening thoughts.
Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.

2. Avoidance symptoms:
Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
Feeling emotionally numb
Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.
Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.

3. Hyperarousal symptoms:
Being easily startled
Feeling tense or “on edge”
Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.
Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

It’s natural to have some of these symptoms after a dangerous event. Sometimes people have very serious symptoms that go away after a few weeks. This is called acute stress disorder, or ASD. When the symptoms last more than a few weeks and become an ongoing problem, they might be PTSD. Some people with PTSD don’t show any symptoms for weeks or months.

Do children react differently than adults?

Children and teens can have extreme reactions to trauma, but their symptoms may not be the same as adults.1 In very young children, these symptoms can include:

Bedwetting, when they’d learned how to use the toilet before
Forgetting how or being unable to talk
Acting out the scary event during playtime
Being unusually clingy with a parent or other adult.
Older children and teens usually show symptoms more like those seen in adults. They may also develop disruptive, disrespectful, or destructive behaviors. Older children and teens may feel guilty for not preventing injury or deaths. They may also have thoughts of revenge. For more information, see the NIMH booklets on helping children cope with violence and disasters.

How is PTSD detected?

A doctor who has experience helping people with mental illnesses, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist, can diagnose PTSD. The diagnosis is made after the doctor talks with the person who has symptoms of PTSD.

To be diagnosed with PTSD, a person must have all of the following for at least 1 month:
At least one re-experiencing symptom
At least three avoidance symptoms
At least two hyperarousal symptoms
Symptoms that make it hard to go about daily life, go to school or work, be with friends, and take care of important tasks.
Why do some people get PTSD and other people do not?

It is important to remember that not everyone who lives through a dangerous event gets PTSD. In fact, most will not get the disorder.

Many factors play a part in whether a person will get PTSD. Some of these are risk factors that make a person more likely to get PTSD. Other factors, called resilience factors, can help reduce the risk of the disorder. Some of these risk and resilience factors are present before the trauma and others become important during and after a traumatic event.

Risk factors for PTSD include: 2
Living through dangerous events and traumas
Having a history of mental illness
Getting hurt
Seeing people hurt or killed
Feeling horror, helplessness, or extreme fear
Having little or no social support after the event
Dealing with extra stress after the event, such as loss of a loved one, pain and injury, or loss of a job or home.
Resilience factors that may reduce the risk of PTSD include: 3
Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family
Finding a support group after a traumatic event
Feeling good about one’s own actions in the face of danger
Having a coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it
Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear.
Researchers are studying the importance of various risk and resilience factors. With more study, it may be possible someday to predict who is likely to get PTSD and prevent it.

How is PTSD treated?

The main treatments for people with PTSD are psychotherapy (“talk” therapy), medications, or both. Everyone is different, so a treatment that works for one person may not work for another. It is important for anyone with PTSD to be treated by a mental health care provider who is experienced with PTSD. Some people with PTSD need to try different treatments to find what works for their symptoms.

If someone with PTSD is going through an ongoing trauma, such as being in an abusive relationship, both of the problems need to be treated. Other ongoing problems can include panic disorder, depression, substance abuse, and feeling suicidal.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is “talk” therapy. It involves talking with a mental health professional to treat a mental illness. Psychotherapy can occur one-on-one or in a group. Talk therapy treatment for PTSD usually lasts 6 to 12 weeks, but can take more time. Research shows that support from family and friends can be an important part of therapy.

Many types of psychotherapy can help people with PTSD. Some types target the symptoms of PTSD directly. Other therapies focus on social, family, or job-related problems. The doctor or therapist may combine different therapies depending on each person’s needs.

One helpful therapy is called cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. There are several parts to CBT, including:

Exposure therapy. This therapy helps people face and control their fear. It exposes them to the trauma they experienced in a safe way. It uses mental imagery, writing, or visits to the place where the event happened. The therapist uses these tools to help people with PTSD cope with their feelings.
Cognitive restructuring. This therapy helps people make sense of the bad memories. Sometimes people remember the event differently than how it happened. They may feel guilt or shame about what is not their fault. The therapist helps people with PTSD look at what happened in a realistic way.
Stress inoculation training. This therapy tries to reduce PTSD symptoms by teaching a person how to reduce anxiety. Like cognitive restructuring, this treatment helps people look at their memories in a healthy way.
Other types of treatment can also help people with PTSD. People with PTSD should talk about all treatment options with their therapist.

How Talk Therapies Help People Overcome PTSD
Talk therapies teach people helpful ways to react to frightening events that trigger their PTSD symptoms. Based on this general goal, different types of therapy may:

Teach about trauma and its effects.
Use relaxation and anger control skills.
Provide tips for better sleep, diet, and exercise habits.
Help people identify and deal with guilt, shame, and other feelings about the event.
Focus on changing how people react to their PTSD symptoms. For example, therapy helps people visit places and people that are reminders of the trauma.

What efforts are under way to improve the detection and treatment of PTSD?

Researchers have learned a lot in the last decade about fear, stress, and PTSD. Scientists are also learning about how people form memories. This is important because creating very powerful fear-related memories seems to be a major part of PTSD. Researchers are also exploring how people can create “safety” memories to replace the bad memories that form after a trauma. NIMH’s goal in supporting this research is to improve treatment and find ways to prevent the disorder.

PTSD research also includes the following examples:
Using powerful new research methods, such as brain imaging and the study of genes, to find out more about what leads to PTSD, when it happens, and who is most at risk.
Trying to understand why some people get PTSD and others do not. Knowing this can help health care professionals predict who might get PTSD and provide early treatment.
Focusing on ways to examine pre-trauma, trauma, and post-trauma risk and resilience factors all at once.
Looking for treatments that reduce the impact traumatic memories have on our emotions.
Improving the way people are screened for PTSD, given early treatment, and tracked after a mass trauma.
Developing new approaches in self-testing and screening to help people know when it’s time to call a doctor.
Testing ways to help family doctors detect and treat PTSD or refer people with PTSD to mental health specialists.
For more information on PTSD research, please see NIMH’s PTSD Research online Fact Sheet or the PTSD Clinical Trials Web site.

How can I help a friend or relative who has PTSD?

If you know someone who has PTSD, it affects you too. The first and most important thing you can do to help a friend or relative is to help him or her get the right diagnosis and treatment. You may need to make an appointment for your friend or relative and go with him or her to see the doctor. Encourage him or her to stay in treatment, or to seek different treatment if his or her symptoms don’t get better after 6 to 8 weeks.

To help a friend or relative, you can:
Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.
Learn about PTSD so you can understand what your friend or relative is experiencing.
Talk to your friend or relative, and listen carefully.
Listen to feelings your friend or relative expresses and be understanding of situations that may trigger PTSD symptoms.
Invite your friend or relative out for positive distractions such as walks, outings, and other activities.
Remind your friend or relative that, with time and treatment, he or she can get better.
Never ignore comments about your friend or relative harming him or herself, and report such comments to your friend’s or relative’s therapist or doctor.

How can I help myself?

It may be very hard to take that first step to help yourself. It is important to realize that although it may take some time, with treatment, you can get better.

To help yourself:
Talk to your doctor about treatment options.
Engage in mild activity or exercise to help reduce stress.
Set realistic goals for yourself.
Break up large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to spend time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or relative. Tell others about things that may trigger symptoms.
Expect your symptoms to improve gradually, not immediately.
Identify and seek out comforting situations, places, and people.

Source http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml

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Helping Someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

It can be hard to handle having a close friend or family member with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They may struggle with irritability, have problems sleeping at night, be unable to focus, feel depressed or act anxious most of the time. In fact, for some people the symptoms can be so severe that treatment at a certified post traumatic stress disorder treatment center may be necessary. PTSD treatment facilities have been shown to be very beneficial to the health and overall well-being of those with this disorder.

How can you deal with this situation? The following steps can serve as helpful tips for dealing with and loving someone with PTSD.

Learn everything you can about PTSD. By knowing all of this information, you will be better able to handle the situation.
Exercise together. Exercising strengthens the overall body and improves health.
Don’t judge them.
Be there to listen. Make your self available to them when they need to talk. Be an active listener by giving input when needed.
Show respect. Respect them even though they may be having a difficult time at the moment.
Look out for them. Show you care by recognizing when everything doesn’t seem to be okay.
Allow room for mistakes. Recognize that they will make mistakes, but always be there to forgive them and offer help if needed.
Talk positively.
Give them their space. Your loved one may not always want your opinion on everything, be willing to step aside every once in a while and give them some space.
Be active together. Planning and participating in family activities can be a fun way to interact and show them you don’t look down on them.
Love them.
Don’t belittle them. While it is important to not expect too much, not expecting anything at all is unnecessary and can be hurtful.
Be patient.
Avoid harsh remarks. Stay away from telling your friend or family member to get over their problems, this may only make problems worse.
Encourage their self-esteem.
Take care of yourself. Remember that you can’t take care of someone else if you haven’t dealt with yourself first. In many cases seeking out a friend to help you is beneficial.
In serious situations, it may be helpful to seek out the advice and assistance of a medical professional. In addition, post traumatic stress disorder treatment centers are available for anyone suffering from this disorder. A problem like PTSD can escalate quickly. If help is not sought out soon enough the problem may become increasingly worse to the point where full recovery may never be possible.

Source: http://casapalmera.com/ways-to-support-someone-with-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/

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Helping a Family Member Who Has PTSD

When someone has PTSD, it can change family life. The person with PTSD may act differently and get angry easily. He or she may not want to do things you used to enjoy together.
You may feel scared and frustrated about the changes you see in your loved one. You also may feel angry about what’s happening to your family, or wonder if things will ever go back to the way they were. These feelings and worries are common in people who have a family member with PTSD.
It is important to learn about PTSD so you can understand why it happened, how it is treated, and what you can do to help. But you also need to take care of yourself. Changes in family life are stressful, and taking care of yourself will make it easier to cope.
How can I help?

You may feel helpless, but there are many things you can do. Nobody expects you to have all the answers.
Here are ways you can help:
Learn as much as you can about PTSD. Knowing how PTSD affects people may help you understand what your family member is going through. The more you know, the better you and your family can handle PTSD.
Offer to go to doctor visits with your family member. You can help keep track of medicine and therapy, and you can be there for support.
Tell your loved one you want to listen and that you also understand if he or she doesn’t feel like talking.
Plan family activities together, like having dinner or going to a movie.
Take a walk, go for a bike ride, or do some other physical activity together. Exercise is important for health and helps clear your mind.
Encourage contact with family and close friends. A support system will help your family member get through difficult changes and stressful times.
Your family member may not want your help. If this happens, keep in mind that withdrawal can be a symptom of PTSD. A person who withdraws may not feel like talking, taking part in group activities, or being around other people. Give your loved one space, but tell him or her that you will always be ready to help.
How can I deal with anger or violent behavior?

Your family member may feel angry about many things. Anger is a normal reaction to trauma, but it can hurt relationships and make it hard to think clearly. Anger also can be frightening.
If anger leads to violent behavior or abuse, it’s dangerous. Go to a safe place and call for help right away. Make sure children are in a safe place as well.
It’s hard to talk to someone who is angry. One thing you can do is set up a time-out system. This helps you find a way to talk even while angry. Here’s one way to do this.
Agree that either of you can call a time-out at any time.
Agree that when someone calls a time-out, the discussion must stop right then.
Decide on a signal you will use to call a time-out. The signal can be a word that you say or a hand signal.
Agree to tell each other where you will be and what you will be doing during the time-out. Tell each other what time you will come back.
While you are taking a time-out, don’t focus on how angry you feel. Instead, think calmly about how you will talk things over and solve the problem.
After you come back

Take turns talking about solutions to the problem. Listen without interrupting.
Use statements starting with “I,” such as “I think” or “I feel.” Using “you” statements can sound accusing.
Be open to each other’s ideas. Don’t criticize each other.
Focus on things you both think will work. It’s likely you will both have good ideas.
Together, agree which solutions you will use.
How can I communicate better?

You and your family may have trouble talking about feelings, worries, and everyday problems. Here are some ways to communicate better:
Be clear and to the point.
Be positive. Blame and negative talk won’t help the situation.
Be a good listener. Don’t argue or interrupt. Repeat what you hear to make sure you understand, and ask questions if you need to know more.
Put your feelings into words. Your loved one may not know you are sad or frustrated unless you are clear about your feelings.
Help your family member put feelings into words. Ask, “Are you feeling angry? Sad? Worried?”
Ask how you can help.
Don’t give advice unless you are asked.
If your family is having a lot of trouble talking things over, consider trying family therapy. Family therapy is a type of counseling that involves your whole family. A therapist helps you and your family communicate, maintain good relationships, and cope with tough emotions.
During therapy, each person can talk about how a problem is affecting the family. Family therapy can help family members understand and cope with PTSD.
Your health professional or a religious or social services organization can help you find a family therapist who specializes in PTSD.
How can I take care of myself?

Helping a person with PTSD can be hard on you. You may have your own feelings of fear and anger about the trauma. You may feel guilty because you wish your family member would just forget his or her problems and get on with life. You may feel confused or frustrated because your loved one has changed, and you may worry that your family life will never get back to normal.
All of this can drain you. It can affect your health and make it hard for you to help your loved one. If you’re not careful, you may get sick yourself, become depressed, or burn out and stop helping your loved one.
To help yourself, you need to take care of yourself and have other people help you.
Care for yourself

Don’t feel guilty or feel that you have to know it all. Remind yourself that nobody has all the answers. It’s normal to feel helpless at times.
Don’t feel bad if things change slowly. You cannot change anyone. People have to change themselves.
Take care of your physical and mental health. If you feel yourself getting sick or often feel sad and hopeless, see your doctor.
Don’t give up your outside life. Make time for activities and hobbies you enjoy. Continue to see your friends.
Take time to be by yourself. Find a quiet place to gather your thoughts and “recharge.”
Get regular exercise, even just a few minutes a day. Exercise is a healthy way to deal with stress.
Eat healthy foods. When you are busy, it may seem easier to eat fast food than to prepare healthy meals. But healthy foods will give you more energy to carry you through the day.
Remember the good things. It’s easy to get weighed down by worry and stress. But don’t forget to see and celebrate the good things that happen to you and your family.
Get help

During difficult times, it is important to have people in your life who you can depend on. These people are your support network. They can help you with everyday jobs, like taking a child to school, or by giving you love and understanding.
You may get support from:
Family members
Friends, coworkers, and neighbors
Members of your religious or spiritual group
Support groups
Doctors and other health professionals

source: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/helping-family-member.asp

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What NOT to Say to Someone With Panic Disorder

By 

Imagine this: you’re allergic to cats. You’ve just been exposed to cat dander and your eyes are a soggy, drippy red mess. You sneeze uncontrollably multiple times in a row. Your skin becomes itchy, red, and full of welts. You’re feeling pretty miserable.

A friend walks up to you.

“Hey, no worries,” he exclaims casually, “there’s nothing to be allergic to!”

Uh, what?

“Sure there is — I’m allergic to cats,” you’d probably say.

“Nah,” says your friend, “just stop sneezing. You’ll be okay.”

“What?! I can’t just STOP sneezing on a dime,” you retort.

“Sure you can. There’s nothing wrong with you,” he insists.

“Uhm, care to explain these welts, then? And the red eyes? And the sneezing?!”

Sounds frustrating, doesn’t it? If you suffer from allergies, you know that a reaction to an allergen can produce a truly miserable day. And while panic disorder is no allergy, it produces its own unique brand of misery, too.

And that misery can be compounded by how others react to a panic attack. Hopefully, no one would ever tell an allergy sufferer to “just stop sneezing” or to “make those welts go away.” It would be ineffective and frustrating advice.

However, as a panic sufferer myself, I’ve received a lot of ineffective and frustrating advice over the past few years. Most of it is delivered sincerely, with the absolute best of intentions, from people whom I care about. So, it often hurts to let these people know that their advice isn’t helping (and perhaps is even making the panic attack worse!). It’s not easy. If you haven’t yet developed a thick enough skin to ignore the below advice (I sure haven’t!), please share the below tips with family and friends who care about you.

This post was inspired by this list of things you shouldn’t say to someone who is depressed.

You say: “Just calm down.”
We want to say: “Okay, HOW!?”

Let’s pick this one apart piece by piece. “Just” implies that the act of calming down is a simple one. It’s not. For someone in the midst of panic, calming down can be an extraordinarily difficult task. For you, it might be effortless; for those of us with panic disorder, it might involve medication, breathing exercises, distraction, rituals, positive self-talk and reassurance, and/or time.

The “calm down” part is also problematic in and of itself. If you don’t have any tools, you can’t build a house, right? Unless you can construct some tools from thin air, you’re out of luck. Likewise, if we don’t have any tools or techniques (like the breathing exercises mentioned above) that can help us to become calmer, we can’t “build” anything. We can’t construct a ladder that will allow us to climb our way out of a panic attack. And, the added stress of being unable to comply with a “calm down” request might compound our anxiety.

Better response: Can I help you calm down? Is there anything I can do?

You say: “Why can’t you just relax?”
We want to say: “It’s a bit more complicated than you think!”

During a panic attack, the following physiological changes can occur:

* increased heart rate
* adrenaline rushes
* shortness of breath
* lightheadedness
* heart palpitations
* nausea
* trembling/shaking
* numbing or tingling in hands/feet

It’s like trying to relax while you’re being chased by a wild animal. Or while you’re frantically trying to find your way out of a burning building. Put simply, our panic-filled bodies aren’t capable of turning off the fight-or-flight impulse on cue. We’re not equipped with a switch. Even a steadfast resolve to relax will probably only incite further frustration over the fact that our body is going haywire.

True story: during my very first biofeedback session, the practitioner hooked me up to a computer that measures anxiety via skin conductance (read: sweat), hand temperature, heart rate, and breathing rate. As soon as she said, “Okay, now try to relax!”, my anxiety level (as measured objectively by a computer) surged upward. This is common!

Better response: I’m here for you. What can I do to help you relax?

You say: “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
We want to say: “Oh yeah? Then why does it feel like I’m going to have a (insert-severe medical-condition-here)?”

Classic line, often delivered by well-intentioned close friends, family, and significant others. Sometimes, this sentiment could be helpful — but only if we’re fretting over the “Is this just panic, or is it a heart attack or a stroke!?” question. Otherwise, it’s usually an unhelpful phrase that makes us want to yell, “Yes! There IS something wrong with me at the moment! I’m panicking, and it’s terrifyingly uncomfortable! THAT is what’s wrong!”

Better response: This must be uncomfortable. Can I do anything to make it better?

You say: “Sit down.”
We want to say: “But sitting down makes me more anxious!”

Usually, sitting down is a relaxing activity. We sit down to eat, to watch television, and to read a good book — and all of those events are generally agreeable and soothing. However, merely assuming a seated position isn’t going to act as a panacea.

The panic response sends a rush of adrenaline into our bloodstream that compels us to either fight or flee. It makes us feel like we need to be hypervigilant in order to ensure our survival. If you were really being chased by a wild animal, for example, sitting down would do you no good. That’s why the impulse to stand upright and stay alert is so strong. Leave this one up to the panicker: if we feel more comfortable sitting down, help us to find a safe spot. If we need to pace or go for a walk in order to calm down, let us.

You say: “You’re overreacting!”
We want to say: “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”

While it may be true that our body and mind are in overdrive, we often feel like we cannot control these reactions. In the midst of a rapid heartbeat, a cascading series of negative thoughts, and an intense urge to escape, having someone inform us that we’re overreacting is not helpful. We’re often aware that our body and mind are overreacting, but we may not yet possess the skills to disengage our frantic nervous system.

Better response: If you want, I’ll wait here with you until this passes.

Even though the above statements aren’t helpful to hear during a panic attack, some might be more appropriate after the threat of imminent panic has passed. If you know someone with panic disorder and want to be a great support person for them, check out this guide.

If you’ve ever had a panic attack, what’s the most unhelpful thing you’ve heard from someone who is trying to help? Share your thoughts in the comments or find me on Twitter @summerberetsky.

Stay tuned for the second half of this list — based on your comments — later in the week.

Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/09/07/what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-panic-disorder/

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PTSD: 5 Rules to Help a Friend

by Suzanne Grosser

Someone you love has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD sufferers need help. You want to help them. I warn you, it won’t be easy. If you care enough about them to read this page, they are lucky to have you. But don’t expect them to realize that for a long time.

Rule #1: Do not take her behavior personally.
This is not about you. It is about her fear. It is about her anxiety. It is about her pain. This is her post traumatic stress. It is not about you. Understanding this does not make the problems (or obnoxious behaviors) go away. But it can keep your feelings and your relationship from being hurt unnecessarily by PTSD.

Post traumatic stress disorder is an illness. Once you accept this, you can treat PTSD like any other disease. If she had the flu, you wouldn’t expect her to be all cheerful and chatty. You would bring her a box of tissues and some orange juice. You’d keep her company if that’s what she wanted. You’d let her rest, if she wanted to be alone. Either way, you would not take it personally.

You would encourage your friend to get treatment. She needs it, but she may resist it.

Rule #2: Set boundaries
Do not under any circumstances tolerate unacceptable behavior.

Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. You are not a punching bag or a target for degrading insults. You do not deserve that and you will not help your friend that way either. If he hits you, leave. If you stay, you will only endanger yourself and you will give him one more thing to hate himself for, later. Don’t do it.

Do not do everything for him. I can not tell you where the line between helping a friend and being co-dependent is – but your gut will tell you. Give as much as feels right to you. Do not accept the guilt trip you will be handed when you refuse to give everything. Do not feel guilty for having a life outside of his problems. Someday he will join you there. But he’s not ready yet.

Rule #3: Do not expect much in return.
Right now, he doesn’t have much to offer. He’s struggling to get through the day without losing his temper, or drinking too much. He’s doing good if he can get to his doctor appointments and take his medications properly.

You will need your own support network, because he’s got all he can handle to take care of himself. PTSD is taking all his energy to cope with. You will be putting more into this relationship than you will get back out, at least for awhile. He may occasionally acknowledge some of what you do for him. Accept that as the precious gift that it is. It is a sign of his healing. Right now, it is all he has to give.

Rule #4: Do not judge.
She needs to talk abut it. It sucks to hear about it. Try to remember that living through it was worse. Now, because of PTSD, she is going over and over it in her mind. Reliving the horror everyday. This is what is making her sick. This is the poison that is eating away at her. Telling someone is like washing out a infected cut. It stings, it burns, it grosses out people, but it is the only way to get rid of the poison.

Her greatest need is to tell what happened. Her greatest fear is that if she tells, she will lose your love. You probably won’t understand what it was like and she may have done things you both know are wrong. She is afraid of being judged. She has already lost a big part of herself to this trauma. She can’t stand to lose you, too. And if she tells, maybe she will.

It will take a great deal of courage for her to talk about her trauma. So please listen, and don’t judge her. She is still the person you used to know. But she has been hurt, big time, and she is trying to piece her life back together. In time, she will see her actions clearly and make amends if necessary. But right now, she needs to tell someone and not be rejected for the telling. Here are some tips to help you listen to her story.

Rule #5: Have fun.
This is absolutely impossible when you are dealing with PTSD – and absolutely essential. You’ll just have to figure it out. He won’t want to, but maybe he will do it to humor you. He would rather wallow in his pain, but you’re not going to allow that. He is stuck and you can intend to help him get unstuck.

Watch a silly movie together. Gather some friends and play board games. Practice blowing soap bubbles. Buy one of those giant soap bubble rings and see if you can get it to work. Go for a walk and jump into, not over, the puddles. Eat watermelon, and have a seed spitting contest. If it’s the wrong time of year for watermelon, build a snowman instead.

Remind him of good times before his trauma and PTSD – look at your high school yearbook or old family pictures. Laugh together. Laughter is healing. So is your love.
source: http://www.heal-post-traumatic-stress.com/help-PTSD-sufferer.html

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Relationships and PTSD

How does trauma affect relationships?

Trauma survivors with PTSD may have trouble with their close family relationships or friendships. The symptoms of PTSD can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem solving. These problems may affect the way the survivor acts with others. In turn, the way a loved one responds to him or her affects the trauma survivor. A circular pattern can develop that may sometimes harm relationships.
How might trauma survivors react?

In the first weeks and months following a trauma, survivors may feel angry, detached, tense or worried in their relationships. In time, most are able to resume their prior level of closeness in relationships. Yet the 5% to 10% of survivors who develop PTSD may have lasting relationship problems.
Survivors with PTSD may feel distant from others and feel numb. They may have less interest in social or sexual activities. Because survivors feel irritable, on guard, jumpy, worried, or nervous, they may not be able to relax or be intimate. They may also feel an increased need to protect their loved ones. They may come across as tense or demanding.
The trauma survivor may often have trauma memories or flashbacks. He or she might go to great lengths to avoid such memories. Survivors may avoid any activity that could trigger a memory. If the survivor has trouble sleeping or has nightmares, both the survivor and partner may not be able to get enough rest. This may make sleeping together harder.
Survivors often struggle with intense anger and impulses. In order to suppress angry feelings and actions, they may avoid closeness. They may push away or find fault with loved ones and friends. Also, drinking and drug problems, which can be an attempt to cope with PTSD, can destroy intimacy and friendships. Verbal or physical violence can occur.
In other cases, survivors may depend too much on their partners, family members, and friends. This could also include support persons such as health care providers or therapists.
Dealing with these symptoms can take up a lot of the survivor’s attention. He or she may not be able to focus on the partner. It may be hard to listen carefully and make decisions together with someone else. Partners may come to feel that talking together and working as a team are not possible.
How might loved ones react?

Partners, friends, or family members may feel hurt, cut off, or down because the survivor has not been able to get over the trauma. Loved ones may become angry or distant toward the survivor. They may feel pressured, tense, and controlled. The survivor’s symptoms can make a loved one feel like he or she is living in a war zone or in constant threat of danger. Living with someone who has PTSD can sometimes lead the partner to have some of the same feelings of having been through trauma.
In sum, a person who goes through a trauma may have certain common reactions. These reactions affect the people around the survivor. Family, friends, and others then react to how the survivor is behaving. This in turn comes back to affect the person who went through the trauma.
Trauma types and relationships

Certain types of “man-made” traumas can have a more severe effect on relationships. These traumas include:
Childhood sexual and physical abuse
Rape
Domestic violence
Combat
Terrorism
Genocide
Torture
Kidnapping
Prisoner of war
Survivors of man-made traumas often feel a lasting sense of terror, horror, endangerment, and betrayal. These feelings affect how they relate to others. They may feel like they are letting down their guard if they get close to someone else and trust them. This is not to say a survivor never feels a strong bond of love or friendship. However, a close relationship can also feel scary or dangerous to a trauma survivor.
Do all trauma survivors have relationship problems?

Many trauma survivors do not develop PTSD. Also, many people with PTSD do not have relationship problems. People with PTSD can create and maintain good relationships by:
Building a personal support network to help cope with PTSD while working on family and friend relationships
Sharing feelings honestly and openly, with respect and compassion
Building skills at problem solving and connecting with others
Including ways to play, be creative, relax, and enjoy others
What can be done to help someone who has PTSD?

Relations with others are very important for trauma survivors. Social support is one of the best things to protect against getting PTSD. Relationships can offset feelings of being alone. Relationships may also help the survivor’s self-esteem. This may help reduce depression and guilt. A relationship can also give the survivor a way to help someone else. Helping others can reduce feelings of failure or feeling cut off from others. Lastly, relationships are a source of support when coping with stress.
If you need to seek professional help, try to find a therapist who has skills in treating PTSD as well as working with couples or families. For resources, please see our Where to Get Help for PTSD page.
Many treatment approaches may be helpful for dealing with relationship issues. Options include:
One-to-one and group therapy
Anger and stress management
Assertiveness training
Couples counseling
Family education classes
Family therapy

aource: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/ptsd-and-relationships.asp

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The weakest among us has a gift, however seemingly trivial, which is peculiar to him, and which worthily used, will be a gift also to hus race.

~Ruskin

Never scoff at another’s weakness or try to cover your own. Instead, encourage others and hold your weakness up to the world where it is in the open and can be healed.

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Now let’s take a look at the Passive Aggressive personality. I’m sure once you read how the passive aggressive personality operates, you can see why it would be an exceedingly unhealthy situation for a P.T.S.D sufferer to try to live in close quarters with someone who has passive aggressive tendencies.

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Relationships: Passive-Aggressive Men, Who Are They Hurting?

He Hurts Everyone in His Path, Including Himself

Their the men who seem so nice, and trustworthy. They don’t hurt you out in the open, but in a very subtle way, you may not even be aware of. Just the same, they can hurt the people they say they care about the most.
A passive-aggressive man usually grows up in a household which may have a parent who is either passive-aggressive, or overbearing and controlling. If he really has bad luck, he may grow up with both. Many marriages consist of individuals who are opposites, or fill an area for the other person they may be lacking in. It’s an unspoken deal so to speak, you be the passive one, and I’ll be the overbearing one. As the boys are growing up, somewhere along the way they choose to either identify with one parent or the other. If they see the overbearing and controlling parent as scary, they may come to believe they do not want to be like that parent, and go the other way. If they see the passive parent as weak and wimpy, they may choose to be like the overbearing and controlling parent. What I’m going to write about is the passive-aggressive man. When the boy decides to be weak, unassuming, and afraid to stand up for himself. Ergo, he asserts himself in passive aggressive ways. This ends up hurting allot of the people he truly cares for.

The passive aggressive man is very often seen as the nice guy that would do anything for anybody. He never says “NO”, at least not out loud, to any request anyone makes of him. He is often everybody’s token doormat. What most people don’t know is there’s a volcano ready to erupt inside this man. He is too afraid to speak up and tell you what he thinks. Therefore, he goes about his life sneaking around doing things he doesn’t want anybody to know about., getting back at people in ways that have nothing much to do with why he’s really mad, and not standing up to the person, or persons, he needs too. He then ends up hurting those he cares about, and puts them in the line of fire.

Often times when he gets into a relationship, or married, he ends up choosing very strong, overbearing, controlling women. Remember, what I said, people often pick the opposite of themselves, and then it gets them off the hook for ever having to learn how to be strong, and assertive themselves. This is where the problem begins. Because he has chosen to be with this Witch on Wheels, he can never directly confront her with ANYHING. He is too scared. This ends up effecting friends, other family members, and anyone involved with this type of man. You can be this man’s very best friend and if Mrs. Wonderful objects, you’re a goner. Oh, he will keep you as a friend, probably, but it will most definitely be behind his partners back. You will be stuck in drama world, with a half-assed friendship. You can never call him at home when you need to, he hides your e-mails, and you cannot spend anytime with your so-called friend, unless you’re very, very careful. You will always be walking on eggshells. It’s almost like your having an affair with him, without the benefits. This ends up hurting his friends, because his friendships are dictated by her. This is the so-called passive part of his problem

The aggressive part of this disorder ends up not only hurting him, but the woman he is with. No matter how mad he gets at her, he is NOT going to stand up for himself, or tell her how he feels. He is too scared to say a word. What this man will do, is while being the all-loving nice guy and doing the housecleaning, his woman’s favorite figurine might just accidentally get broken. He will sneak behind her back, to see other women, friends, and to do things he especially knows would make her angry. It’s the only way he knows how to stand up for himself. You can imagine how damaging to a relationship this can be. It can go so far, their relationship ends forever. Unfortunately, because he does all these things in private, it may be along time, if ever, when she figures it out. She really does believe he will always be the nice doormat she fell in love with. This definitely works to his benefit.

Last but not least, this seriously hurts the man who is passive-aggressive, more than anyone else. He never learns to assert himself, and never develops the self-esteem to say, “this is who I am”, out loud. Although he feels some momentary exhilaration when getting back at someone, he also feels deep shame, that he is not being a real man. He can suffer with depression at times, wondering who he is, and will anyone ever really know him. He is stuck in limbo. He’s afraid to be who he wants to be for fear of losing the woman he loves. At the same time, he’s not even sure why he loves her anyway. After all, isn’t she just there to make up for his inability to do for himself? That may just be the case.

Although most of the time the passive- aggressive man appears to be a quiet, nice, helpful, boy scout kind of guy, he truly is a very hurtful person. He hurts his friends, his partner, his family, and anyone else on his, quietly, secret, destructive path. This is a very serious disorder, and any chance of change, will have to come with allot of counseling, and allot of work on his part. However change is very hard. The longer this man has been this way, the longer it will take to recover. There is also the possibility he may not want to change. Like good old Dr. Phil says, people do what they do because there is some kind of payoff they’re getting out of that particular behavior. Whatever his choice, to change, or not to change, this can be one of the most difficult type of men to live with. That’s if you ever really know in the first place!

source: http://voices.yahoo.com/relationships-passive-aggressive-men-they-317967.html

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10 Common Passive Aggressive Phrases to Avoid

Have you heard (or spoken!) any of these phrases lately?

Published on November 23, 2010 by Signe Whitson, L.S.W. in Passive Aggressive Diaries

Is there someone in your life who consistently makes you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster? Do you know a person who is friendly one day but sulks and withdraws the next? Does a family member or friend consistently procrastinate, postpone, stall, and shut down any emotionally-laden conversations? Are you sometimes that person? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, chances are you may be interacting with a passive aggressive person or showing signs of passive-aggressive behavior yourself.

In The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces, 2nd ed., passive aggression is defined as a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings of anger (Long, Long & Whitson, 2008). It involves a range of behaviors designed to get back at another person without him recognizing the underlying anger. These ten common passive aggressive phrases can serve as an early-warning system for you, helping you recognize hidden hostility when it is being directed your way:

1. “I’m Not Mad.”

Denying feelings of anger is classic passive aggressive behavior. Rather than being upfront and honest when questioned about his feelings, the passive aggressive person insists, “I’m not mad” even when he is seething on the inside.

2. “Fine.” “Whatever.”

Sulking and withdrawing from arguments are primary strategies of the passive aggressive person. Since passive aggression is motivated by a person’s belief that expressing anger directly will only make his life worse (Long, Long & Whitson, 2008), the passive aggressive person uses phrases like “Fine” and “Whatever” to express anger indirectly and to shut down direct, emotionally honest communication.

3. “I’m Coming!”

Passive aggressive persons are known for verbally complying with a request, but behaviorally delaying its completion. If whenever you ask your child to clean his room, he cheerfully says, “Okay, I’m coming,” but then fails to show up to complete the chore, chances are he is practicing the fine passive aggressive art of temporary compliance.

4. “I Didn’t Know You Meant Now.”

On a related note, passive aggressive persons are master procrastinators. While all of us like to put off unpleasant tasks from time to time, people with passive aggressive personalities rely on procrastination as a way of frustrating others and/or getting out of certain chores without having to directly refuse them.

5. “You Just Want Everything to be Perfect.”

When procrastination is not an option, a more sophisticated passive aggressive strategy is to carry out tasks in a timely, but unacceptable manner. For example:

A student hands in sloppy homework
A husband prepares a well-done steak for his wife, though he knows she prefers to eat steak rare
An employee dramatically overspends his budget on an important project
In all of these instances, the passive aggressive person complies with a particular request, but carries it out in an intentionally inefficient way. When confronted, he defends his work, counter-accusing others of having rigid or perfectionist standards.

6. “I Thought You Knew.”

Sometimes, the perfect passive aggressive crime has to do with omission. Passive aggressive persons may express their anger covertly by choosing not to share information when it could prevent a problem. By claiming ignorance, the person defends his inaction, while taking pleasure in his foe’s trouble and anguish.

7. “Sure, I’d be Happy To.”

Have you ever been in a customer service situation where a seemingly concerned clerk or super-polite phone operator assures you that your problem will be solved. On the surface, the representative is cooperative, but beware of his angry smile; behind the scenes, he is filing your request in the trash and stamping your paperwork with “DENY.”

8. “You’ve Done so Well for Someone with Your Education Level.”

The backhanded compliment is the ultimate socially acceptable means by which the passive aggressive person insults you to your core. If anyone has ever told you, “Don’t worry-you can still get braces even at your age” or “There are a lot of men out there who like plump women,” chances are you know how much “joy” a passive aggressive compliment can bring.

9. “I Was Only Joking”

Like backhanded compliments, sarcasm is a common tool of a passive aggressive person who expresses his hostility aloud, but in socially acceptable, indirect ways. If you show that you are offended by biting, passive aggressive sarcasm, the hostile joke teller plays up his role as victim, asking, “Can’t you take a joke?”

10. “Why Are You Getting So Upset?”

The passive aggressive person is a master at maintaining his calm and feigning shock when others, worn down by his indirect hostility, blow up in anger. In fact, he takes pleasure out of setting others up to lose their cool and then questioning their “overreactions.”

Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201011/10-common-passive-aggressive-phrases-avoid

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The Passive Aggressive Man: He’s All About Control

Who is the passive aggressive man? Identify him and run for the hills.
If you’ve been in a relationship with him, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t be on the look-out because chances are you will cross paths with a passive aggressive man.

Who is the passive aggressive man? He is that guy who avoids responsibility and conflict through passivity and withdrawal. He is the “Nice Guy” who reels you in with his adoration and once you are in the game he turns the tables so quickly your head will swim until you decide to take a hike. Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?
More from YourTango: 11 Foolproof Pickup Lines To Score A New BFF

The Passive Aggressive Man…
1. Withholds to Punish: He says one thing but means another. Sure, he wants to go to a movie. He even appears to enjoy himself until later that night when he rejects you sexually. You see, he didn’t want to go to a movie but, his passivity would not allow him to own it. His fear of conflict means punishing you in covert ways for something you “made” him do. What better way to punish than withhold something he knows you want?

2. Fears Conflict: He will do anything to keep from arguing with you. He has been taught that anger is unacceptable. Well, expressing anger in an open, honest way is unacceptable and not something you will get from this guy. What you will get is a relationship with a man who avoids solving relationship problems, avoids taking responsibility for problems in the relationship and most importantly avoids making an intimate connection with you.

3. Plays The Victim: This poor guy can’t win for losing, in his mind anyway. He will not show for a dinner date but find it unreasonable that you are upset. It is after, all his bosses fault for making him work late. He could have picked his cell phone up and called but calling isn’t nearly as pleasurable as letting you sit and wait. You waiting on him gets his angries out at you. He gets to punish you and blame his boss…he is off the hook, a “good guy” who is the victim of an unreasonable woman who expects too much from him.

4. Is Forgetful: He forgets birthdays, anniversaries, anything important to you will be forgotten by him. My ex used to forget he needed something from me until the last minute. If there was a social event related to his work, I would get notice the day before. I spent a lot of time running around trying to prepare from something in a few hours that would normally take days.

5. Is Afraid of You: They want you but they don’t want to become attached to you! He is in a constant battle with himself to pursue then distance himself. According to Scott Wetlzer, author of Living With The Passive Aggressive Man. The passive aggressive man is “unsure of his autonomy and afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs, usually by trying to control you. He wants you to think he doesn’t depend on you, but he binds himself closer than he cares to admit. Relationships can become battle grounds, where he can only claim victory if he denies his need for your support.”

You have a lot of anger toward the passive aggressive man you are involved with. You just can’t figure out exactly what you are angry about. He is sweet, kind and loving. He never argues, does exactly what you wish. There must be something wrong with you or such a good man would want to have sex with you, remember your birthday, put effort into solving the problems in the relationship or just show up on time every once in a while. How Do You Manage Red Brain Anger?

And that is the trap women who are involved with passive aggressive men fall into, they become responsible for all that is wrong in the relationship. He keeps you hanging in by doing for you when he doesn’t want to, by never arguing, by being such a nice guy. All those puzzling behaviors that send the opposite message than the other negative behaviors send.

More from YourTango: Get Ready To Rumble! Pro Wrestlers Who Hooked Up Outside The Ring

That is why they call it “crazy making” behavior. The passive aggressive man is very good at appearing to be calm, cool and collected while you are going off the deep end. It isn’t his intent to frustrate, offend or cause you to feel guilty. He truly does only want to help.

The only issue, the kind of help he has to offer comes with a price. He has expectations he is unable to openly express and when you don’t meet those expectations you get resentment and covert punishment in return. And, you should never expect your expectations to be met, not even when you’ve expressed them in a clear, easy to understand fashion.

Want a relationship with a passive aggressive man to last? Become a mind reader and keep your expectations low.

source: http://www.yourtango.com/201063805/passive-aggressive-man-hes-all-about-control

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The Passive Aggressive

There are many childhood set ups for this way of coping but most often there is a domineering mother and a father who is ineffectual. There are power struggles in the marriage with one parent backing off and withdrawing. The boy feels trapped between choosing loyalties at home. He is afraid to compete with his father who is absent either physically or emotionally or perceived as being inadequate. In the typical mother dominant-father passive relationship, the boy learns that the job of being a man in relationship is to escape the woman’s needs and subsequent demands.

The young boy is not allowed to express his feelings and develop a sense of self. He wants his mother’s attention and care yet he resents her continual intrusion. His anger grows but he cannot express it so it becomes submerged and is expressed in an unconscious ‘You can’t tell me what to do.’ He is not allowed to get his way by direct confrontation and competition so he learns to displace his anger through resistance. He learns to use charm, stubbornness, resistance and withdrawal to protect himself in power struggles. He rebels by becoming moody, being an underachiever or developing behavior problems. His self protectiveness and duplicity from the squelched anger and hostility becomes a habit that he plays out with other women he meets. He desperately seeks a woman to meet his needs of being accepted for who he is, but puts her off with small, continual acts of rebellion. He replays the distancing drama of his original family in the relationship.

The man with passive aggressive behavior needs someone to be the object of his hidden hostility. He needs an adversary whose expectations and demands he can resist as he plays out the dance he learned from his parents. He chooses a woman who will agree to be on the receiving end of his disowned anger. He resists her in small ways setting up a pattern of frustration so that she gets to express the anger that he cannot.

The biggest irritant in being with a passive aggressive man is that he doesn’t follow through on his agreements and promises. He dodges responsibility while insisting he’s pulling his weight. He often ignores reality as to his irresponsibility and withdrawal. He denies evidence, distorts minimalizes or lies to make his version of reality seem logical.

He uses vague language to sandbag the partner. Inconsistency and ambiguity are his tools of choice. He withholds information and has a hidden agenda. He can’t take criticism and makes excuses to get himself off the hook. He sulks and uses silence when confronted about his inability to live up to his promises, obligations or responsibilities. When he doesn’t follow through, he puts the blame on his partner so he doesn’t have to take it and accuses her of having the problem.

The man with this type of pattern shows little consideration of the time, feelings, standards or needs of others. He obstructs and block progress to others getting what they want and then ignores or minimalizes their dissatisfactions and anger. He is silent when confronted as he has never learned to compromise. He may be a workaholic, a womanizer, hooked on TV, caught in addictions or self-involved hobbies.

He may have multiple relationships with women as a way of keeping distant from one fully committed relationship. He is confused about which woman he wants and stays caught between the two women in his life not being able to commit fully to either. He is confused and can’t understand why the women get so angry with him. He feels others demand too much of him so resists in overt and subtle ways and feels deprived if he must give in to others. The man who copes with conflict by not being there has strong conflict over dependency. He desperately wants attention but fears being swallowed up by the partner. He can’t be alone and live without a woman in his life, but can’t be with a partner emotionally. He’s caught in a Catch 22–wanting affection but avoiding it because he fears it as his destruction. He resents feeling dependent on the woman so must keep her off guard. He makes his partner feel like a nothing through his neglect or irritability but he keeps her around because he needs her. His script is ‘Be here for me, but don’t come too close and don’t burden me with your needs or expectations.’

He has such strong fears of intimacy deep in his unconscious mind so he must set barriers up to prevent a deep emotional connection. He is clever at derailing intimacy when it comes up by tuning out his partner and changing the subject. He must withhold part of himself to feel safe and may withdraw sexually. Closeness and intimacy during sex may make him feel vulnerable and panicked bringing forth his deepest fears of dependency upon a woman. The passive aggressive man lives an internal loneliness; he wants to be with the woman but stays confused whether she is the right partner for him or not. He is scared and insecure causing him to seek contact with a partner but scared and insecure to fully commit.

Due to the wounding from childhood, he is unable to trust that he is safe within the relationship. He fears revealing himself and can’t share feelings. His refusal to express feelings keeps him from experiencing his sense of insecurity and vulnerability. He often denies feelings like love that might trap him into true connection with another human being. He feels rejected and hurt when things don’t go his way but can’t distinguish between feeling rejected and being rejected. He pushes people away first so he won’t be rejected. He is often irritable and uses low-level hostility to create distance at home. The relationship becomes based on keeping the partner at bay. He often sets up experiences to get others to reject or deprive him. He is noncommittal and retreats, feeling put upon and burdened by partner’s requests for more closeness. He becomes a cave dweller to feel safe.

The man with passive aggressive actions is a master in getting his partner to doubt herself and feel guilty for questioning or confronting him. He encourages her to fall for his apologies, accept his excuses and focus on his charm rather than deal with the issue directly. He blames her for creating the problem and keeps her focused on her anger rather than his own ineptitude. When backed into a corner, he may explode and switch to aggressiveaggressive behavior then switch back to passivity. He keeps his partner held hostage by the hope that he will change. He may appease her and clean up his act after a blow up for several weeks, then it’s back to business as usual.

The passive aggressive man is the classic underachiever with a fear of competition in the work place. He cannot take constructive feedback from others. His fear of criticism, not following through and his inability to see his part in any conflict keeps him from advancing on the job.

You are not seen as a person with feelings and needs. They care for you the way they care for a favorite pair of slippers or an old easy-chair. You are there for their comfort and pleasure and are of use as long as you fill their needs. The sad thing is, they can sweet talk you, know all the right things to say, to make you believe that you are loved and adored by a someone who is completely unable to form an emotional connection with anyone.

If forced to deal with the problems you’re having due to their behavior, they will completely withdraw from the relationship and you. They will almost never admit that they were wrong no matter how much evidence you show. They have their own version of reality and will work at making your view distorted.

While most men are having sex with their partner in order to connect more deeply with her, the passive aggressive man withholds sex from his partner in order to keep himself safe and to show her who the boss is. Sex is a weapon to be used, not a way of connecting more emotionally.

These people are usually unaware that the difficulties they encounter in their life are the result of their own behavior. They do not connect their passive resistant behavior to the hostility or resentment other people feel towards them. Dealing with passive aggressive people can be crazymaking. You feel dismissed, shut down, ignored… but in a subtle enough way that you don’t know how to react. At some point, you explode.

He Hurts Everyone in His Path, Including Himself

They’re the men who seem so nice, and trustworthy. They don’t hurt you out in the open, but in a very subtle way, you may not even be aware of. Just the same, they can hurt the people they say they care about the most.

A passive-aggressive man usually grows up in a household which may have a parent who is either passive-aggressive, or overbearing and controlling. If he really has bad luck, he may grow up with both. When the boy decides to be weak, unassuming, and afraid to stand up for himself. Ergo, he asserts himself in passive aggressive ways. This ends up hurting allot of the people he truly cares for.

The passive aggressive man is very often seen as the nice guy that would do anything for anybody. He never says “NO”, at least not out loud, to any request anyone makes of him. He is often everybody’s token doormat. What most people don’t know is there’s a volcano ready to erupt inside this man. He is too afraid to speak up and tell you what he thinks. Therefore, he goes about his life sneaking around doing things he doesn’t want anybody to know about, getting back at people in ways that have nothing much to do with why he’s really mad, and not standing up to the person, or persons, he needs too. He then ends up hurting those he cares about.

Passive aggressive behavior stems from an inability to express anger in a healthy way. A person’s feelings may be so repressed that they don’t even realize they are angry or feeling resentment. A passive aggressive can drive people around him/her crazy and seem sincerely dismayed when confronted with their behavior. Due to their own lack of insight into their feelings the passive aggressive often feels that others misunderstand them or, are holding them to unreasonable standards if they are confronted about their behavior.

Common Passive Aggressive Behaviors:

They rarely mean what they say or say what they mean. The best judge of how a passive aggressive feels about an issue is how they act. Normally they don’t act until after they’ve caused some kind of stress by their ambiguous way of communicating.

The passive aggressive avoids responsibility by “forgetting.” How convenient is that? There is no easier way to punish someone than forgetting that lunch date or your birthday or, better yet, an anniversary.

He may never express anger. There are some who are happy with whatever you want. On the outside anyway! The passive aggressive may have been taught, as a child, that anger is unacceptable. Hence they go through life stuffing their anger, being accommodating and then sticking it to you in an under-handed way.

The passive aggressive often can’t trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone. A passive aggressive will have sex with you but they rarely make love to you. If they feel themselves becoming attached, they may punish you by withholding sex.

Do you want something from your passive aggressive spouse? If so, get ready to wait for it or maybe even never get it. It is important to him/her that you don’t get your way. He/she will act as if giving you what you want is important to them but, rarely will he/she follow through with giving it. It is very confusing to have someone appear to want to give to you but never follow through. You can begin to feel as if you are asking too much which is exactly what he/she wants to you to feel.

The Passive Aggressive and You:

The passive aggressive needs to have a relationship with someone who can be the object of his or her hostility. They need someone whose expectations and demands he/she can resist.

The biggest frustration in being with a passive aggressive is that they never follow through on agreements and promises. He/she will dodge responsibility for anything in the relationship while at the same time making it look as if he/she is pulling his/her own weight and is a very loving partner. The sad thing is, you can be made to believe that you are loved and adored by a person who is completely unable to form an emotional connection with anyone.

The passive aggressive ignores problems in the relationship, sees things through their own skewed sense of reality and if forced to deal with the problems will completely withdraw from the relationship and you. They will deny evidence of wrong doing, distort what you know to be real to fit their own agenda, minimize or lie so that their version of what is real seems more logical.

The passive aggressive will say one thing, do another, and then deny ever saying the first thing. The passive aggressive withholds information about how he/she feels, their ego is fragile and can’t take the slightest criticism so why let you know what they are thinking or feeling? God forbid they disclose that information and you criticize them.

Inside the Passive Aggressive:

The passive aggressive has a real desire to connect emotionally but their fear of such a connection causes them to be obstructive and engage in self-destructive habits. He will be covert in his actions and it will only move him further from his desired relationship with you.

The passive aggressive never looks internally and examines their role in a problem. They have to externalize it and blame others for having shortcomings. To accept that he has flaws would be tantamount to emotional self-destruction. They live in denial of their self-destructive behaviors, the consequences of those behaviors and the choices they make that cause others so much pain.

The passive aggressive objectifies the object of their desire. You are to be used as a means to an end. Your only value is to feed his own emotional needs. You are not seen as a person with feelings and needs but as an extension of him. You are there for their comfort and pleasure and are of use as long as you fill their needs.

The passive aggressive wants the attention and attachment that comes with loving someone but fears losing his independence and sense of self to his spouse. They want love and attention but avoid it out of fear of it destroying them. You have to be kept at arms length and if there is an emotional attachment it is tenuous at best.

I’m about to fill you in on a little secret. Anger plays a role in passive aggressive behavior. Yep, that passive aggressive spouse that is driving you insane is angry as hell and full of grief. The passive aggressive deals with anger in one of two ways. Either they have no control over their anger or they have problems expressing their anger.

Adults who have no control over their anger and those who have no idea how to express their anger are grieving. They are grieving the loss of something that was rightfully theirs. Their right to entertain themselves regardless of societies or their parent’s beliefs of what was right or wrong. The right to be heard and cared for regardless of how addicted a parent was to alcohol or drugs. They are grieving the right to express love or negative feelings or a desire for parental attention without fear of punishment.

It is about loss, the loss of normal things any child should expect from a parent. Instead of grieving that loss in a normal way, they internalize it and compensate by being overly aggressive or overly passive. The grief shows itself in behaviors that are destructive to themselves and anyone who engages in a relationship with them.

A man who abuses his wife is often motivated by feelings of loss and grief. Feelings that are expressed through rage. Women who emotionally manipulate their husband by withholding affection are motivated by the same feelings of loss and grief.

The aggression or passivity hides their fear of rejection and helplessness when it comes to getting what they need from their spouse. The spouse is left reeling and wondering what he/she did to deserve a slap across the face or the withholding of normal loving affection.

The spouse feels responsible in some way. That is the sneaky thing about living with a passive aggressive individual. They don’t know how to properly express anger but they are geniuses when it comes to shifting the blame and projecting their own bad behavior off onto their spouse.

Next time you are trying to make sense of some nonsensical behavior by your spouse remember you are dealing with a wounded, damaged child. Don’t make excuses for him/her. Don’t take responsibility for their inability to properly express their grief and anger. Understanding why someone acts the way they do does not mean excusing their hurtful actions.

Knowledge is power.

source: http://mailmandelivers.net/passive-aggression/

_________________________

Image title: Maiden, Mother, Crone title by: Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer Image by: The Art of Breezy Kiefair source image: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=555469131139767&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F603947_555469131139767_1142977912_n.jpg&size=251%2C750 source image description:  Title: Banshee Breezy, Be afraid Title By: Breezy Kiefair Image by: Breezy Kiefair of The Art of Breezy Kiefair

Image title: Maiden, Mother, Crone
title by: Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer
Image by: The Art of Breezy Kiefair
source image: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=555469131139767&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F603947_555469131139767_1142977912_n.jpg&size=251%2C750
source image description:
Title: Banshee Breezy, Be afraid
Title By: Breezy Kiefair
Image by: Breezy Kiefair of The Art of Breezy Kiefair

If a passive aggressive personality and a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sufferer team up for business, romance, or friendship, the likely end result will be a lot of drama and hurt feelings. No matter if the passive aggressive person realizes what they are doing or not is irrelevant. No matter if the passive aggressive is aware or not, they are presenting a veiled threat with their words and behaviors to the P.T.S.D personality. The P.T.S.D. personality cannot help but sense this threat. It primes the P.T.S.D mind for an adrenaline response and begins putting the P.T.S.D. person into hyperarousal or hypervigilance territory. From this place, it truly takes a small stimuli to take the P.T.S.D. personality from primed for action, to a complete adrenaline response/meltdown. The Passive Aggressive person’s tendencies are then to punish the P.T.S.D. personality for their moment of weakness. This punishment will then feed into the P.T.S.D. again creating a cyclical hell that is very difficult to escape. I lived in this passive aggressive/ptsd generated hell from November 2011 until August 2013. I’m just beginning to come out of they cyclical thoughts and hell that being romantically involved with a passive aggressive while I am suffering from P.T.S.D. It is my hope that the research I sought out to understand my own situation may help others on both the passive aggression side and the PTSD side of this equation improve their own experience.

much love, Breezy Kiefair.

Over 420 People say FREE RONNIE SMITH

The Next Court Dates for Ronnie are

Attend the next court hearing for Ronnie Smith / Roland A. Duby
June 17, 2013
at 8:30 am Pacific
Superior Court – Camp Verde
2840 N. Commonwealth Drive
Camp Verde, AZ 86322

can’t attend that one?
Attend the Court hearing
June 24, 2013
at 3pm Pacific
Yavapai County Courthouse –
Prescott
120 South Cortez Street
Prescott, AZ 86303

Ronnie and I appreciate all the support. Keep us in your prayers.  The Art of Breezy Kiefair

Please join this campaign: http://chn.ge/1b9gWGU

Over 420 People have already signed a petition for Ronnie Smith’s release PLEASE JOIN THEM!

To:

The President of the United States The U.S. Senate The U.S. House of Representatives The Governor of AZ The AZ State Senate The AZ State House Gov. Janice Brewer, Arizona State Rep. Andy Tobin, Arizona-001A State Rep. Karen Fann, Arizona-001B State Rep. Brenda Barton, Arizona-006A State Rep. Bob Thorpe, Arizona-006B State Sen. Steve Pierce, Arizona-001 State Sen. Chester Crandell, Arizona-006 Sen. John McCain, Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake, Arizona Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick, Arizona-01 Rep. Paul Gosar, Arizona-04 State of Arizona

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you about freedom. Merriam Webster defines freedom as:

Definition of FREEDOM

1

: the quality or state of being free: as

a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence

c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous

d : ease, facility

e : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken freedom>

f : improper familiarity

g : boldness of conception or execution

h : unrestricted use

2

a : a political right

b : franchise, privilege

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/freedom

But we all know that Freedom Means so much more than that.

In the united states, the word freedom has attained a near holy status since our founding fathers so long ago so boldly declared their independence from the crown and said,

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. “

The passage came to represent a moral standard to which the United States should strive. What great word and ideal is standing behind those words? Freedom.

Our constitution is similarly tied up in this idea of freedom. The People are free, that is why we fought England, to be free. So concerned are we as a people with freedom, that we amended that sacred document with the Bill of Rights.

The first amendment of the United States constitution is:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

We have this amendment so that people can follow their conscience. We have this amendment so that people can make up their own minds and speak it. This amendment is perhaps one of the most powerful sentences ever written. For, what free person could tolerate anyone getting between them and their understanding of a creator (or their firm belief in atheism for that matter).

Yes, we as an American people are taught to love freedom and speak about our love of that freedom from an early age.

Sure, we all love freedom, but why am I really writing to you about freedom?

I am specifically writing to you on behalf of a prisoner in the great state of Arizona. The Right Reverend Ronnie Lee Smith was stopped while traveling through your state and was detained for possessing medicinal and sacramental cannabis. The Reverend Smith holds a medical recommendation from Dr Eidleman from California. Dr. Eidleman is well known for his natural medicine. He has been in the natural healing field for over thirty years. Dr. Eidleman traveled all over the world, learning a lot about natural ways of healing the body, the mind, and the spirit. Dr. Eidleman believe that these approaches to healing and to prevention and to awakening can be a boon to each of us, and to the country as a whole.

You can read more about Dr. Eidleman here: http://dreidelman.org/Health/bio/

Colorado and California state laws both protect patients who have a doctor’s recommendation but who have not registered with the state. Reverend Smith was legal for his medicinal and religious cannabis where he was visiting in California, he was legal where he was headed (home to Colorado). The state of Arizona does have reciprocity for their state. The Reverend Smith was just passing through the state but was arrested for his sacrament and medication.

Not only is Ronnie Smith a Reverend in his own right, he is also a member of a church in Colorado called Green Faith Ministry N.A.C. Headed by Reverend Brandon Baker. The mandates of Greenfaith Ministry are as follows:

*Cannabis Is a Healing Sacrament of green faith ministry, and is MANDATED FOR ALL PATRONS TO PRACTICE SACRAMENTAL CANNABIS BURNT OFFERINGS FOR BLESSINGS OF HEALTH for reasons as follows:

*HELPS EVOLVE THE SOUL Sacramental Cannabis augments ones faith and contributes to the evolution of one’s soul as one communes with ones inner self and ones spiritual connection with the universe. *IS AN EXERCISE IN ACQUIRING SPIRITUAL ATTRIBUTES BY SHARING. Sharing Sacramental Cannabis contributes to communion with Spirit and fellowship with others in the spiritual association of the brother/sisterhood of humankind. This practice leads to the discovery and creation of one’s spiritual path. *CREATES PEACE The hand cultivation of Sacramental Cannabis exerts an ennobling and expanding influence on people. The agriculturist is a peace loving person. A nurturing association with the Sacramental Cannabis plants instills patience, quiet, peace, reverence, meditation, spiritual awareness, enlightenment and awareness of the life force. There is great therapeutic value in growing your own sacrament when it is done in conscious partnership with collective human spirituality. *ENHANCES SPIRITUAL RECEPTIVITY One’s inherent imagination and spiritual receptivity is influenced by growing harvesting and ingesting the Cannabis Sacrament. The bio-electro-neuro-chemical effects of ingestion enhances the interface between mind and spirit and augments spiritual receptivity. The effect maybe likened to what happens to the image in a microscope when a drop of oil is added on an oil immersion lens. It is magnified and amplified to the eye of the beholder. *SERVES HUMANITY AS A MEANS OF HEALING People benefit fromutilizing sacramental Cannabis in conjunction with the body/mind healing values of Cannabis. Cannabis Sacrament as medicine/nourishment for the body and the spirit should be available to those who need it for relief from AIDS, glaucoma, nausea from radiation & chemotherapy, stress, muscle spastics, asthma, loss of appetite, migraine headaches, menstrual related discomforts, and many other human maladies. One of the THC Ministry’s(as well as green faith ministry’s) Holy duties is to provide the blessing of its Cannabis Sacrament to those suffering and in need of its benevolent blessings. ***Mandates by and for members of g. f. ministry, and all other div. of thc-ministries. *Special thanks to: All Div. Of thc-Ministries World Wide, and The Religion of Jesus Churches.

Mandates retrieved from: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/whatISgf.html

more church mandates: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/more_mandates.html

More on Greenfaith ministry here: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/

To whomever is reading this, I want you to consider three things about “state of Arizona vs smith”

Ronnie Smith is a medical cannabis patient. He has nerve damage and is a cancer survivor. He uses this plant to treat pain and to prevent the return of cancer. (Google search “run from the cure” if you have not yet heard of cannabis use to cure cancer) Ronnie Smith is a Reverend protected by the first amendment and a member of a religion who mandates smoked offerings. Ronnie Smith was travelling with minimal amounts of his medicine and sacrament, clearly not warranting any element other than personal possession 21 usc 802(2) The term “administer” refers to the direct application of a controlled substance to the body of a patient or research subject by— (A) a practitioner (or, in his presence, by his authorized agent), or (B) the patient or research subject at the direction and in the presence of the practitioner,whether such application be by injection, inhalation, ingestion, or any other means. (3) The term “agent” means an authorized person who acts on behalf of or at the direction of a manufacturer, distributor, or dispenser; except that such term does not include a common or contract carrier, public warehouseman, or employee of the carrier or warehouseman, when acting in the usual and lawful course of the carrier’s or warehouseman’s business…. (10) The term “dispense” means to deliver a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject by, or pursuant to the lawful order of, a practitioner, including the prescribing and administering of a controlled substance and the packaging, labeling or compounding necessary to prepare the substance for such delivery. The term “dispenser” means a practitioner who so delivers a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject…. *(27) The term “ultimate user” means a person who has lawfully obtained, and who possesses, a controlled substance for his own use or for the use of a member of his household or for an animal owned by him or by a member of his household.

I humbly beg the representatives with the power to do so in the state of Arizona to drop the charges included in case number J-1304-CR-201300774

Ronnie Smith c/o Yavapa county Jail Inmate #036312 Unit 4 Booking # 13-02676 2830 Commonwealth Dr #105 Camp Verde, AZ 86322-9998

Respectfully,

Sincerely, [Your name]

Ways to help and more information:


Ways You can help Ronnie Smith / Roland A. Duby…
1. Sign the Petition asking the state of Arizona to free 
Ronnie L. Smith AND ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO SIGN 
http://chn.ge/1b9gWGU

2. Write Ronnie a Letter to raise his spirits
Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapai County Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105
Camp Verde, Arizona, 86322-9998
(guidelines on what NOT to send ~such as postage stamps, cash, or checks… none of these will do ronnie any good if you send them….~ here are thier rules on what can be senthttp://www.ycsoaz.gov/?page_id=349 )

3. Want to Put Money On Ronnie L. Smith’s books for phone calls and food?
https://www.offenderconnect.com/portal
create an account and log in
select offender trust fund 
use his prisoner number 036312 
in yavapai county detentions

 

Here is an even easier way to help Ronnie Smith with communication funds. To put funds on Roland A. Duby‘s books for calls
please call 1-888-988-4768
and put funds on the name Ronnie Smith
DOB 08/20/66
Facility id: 90
please share this post  for greatest impact

4. donate to the lawyer fund here:
https://www.wepay.com/donations/1926515101
ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund

5. you can buy art prints from The Art of Breezy Kiefair to help support the phone 
calls. https://www.wepay.com/fb/stores/628249

6. Write Arizona News Media and ask them to cover 
the Ronnie Smith Story. Remind them that 
over 420 people have already signed a petition for 
his release https://www.change.org/petitions/state-of-arizona-
free-ronnie-smith

7. Attend the court hearing 
June 17, 2013
at 8:30 am Pacific
Superior Court – Camp Verde
2840 N. Commonwealth Drive
Camp Verde, AZ 86322

8. Attend the Court hearing
June 24, 2013
at 3pm Pacific
Yavapai County Courthouse – 
Prescott
120 South Cortez Street
Prescott, AZ 86303

9. Raise awareness by sharing links and news stories about Ronnie as they happen. Feel free to create your own links to raise awareness and share around. There are a lot more links to share located within this note: https://www.facebook.com/notes/breezy-kiefair/free-ronnie-smith/10151505521999139 as well as several locations external to facebook.

10. Contact Breezy Kiefair to see if there are any research or other tasks that could be helpful.

11. No matter how you communicate with the divine or the invisible strings of energy within the universe, please offer good energy towards Ronnie and all of his patients waiting for him to be released. Focus on the health needs of these individuals in addition to offering strength to him to battle a very corrupt county.

He has a status hearing scheduled for June 24th at 3pm. He has been appointed advisory counsel from a public defender

A Phone Call From Ronnie!

by Breezy Kiefair

Petition Organizer

a video of a call with Ronnie Smith from the Yavapai County Jail. Our beloved Roland A. Duby talks about his upcoming court date on June 3, sends a message to his former roomates, and checks on his lady ( Breezy Kiefair ‘s ) health…. he asks that any locals who can make it to the June 3 8am hearing do so!

State of AZ vs Smith Case number: J-1304-CR-201300774 Prosecuting attorney: Jay K. Ireland Judge: Tina R. Ainley Yavapai County Courthouse 120 South Cortez St, Room 103 Prescott, AZ 86303

Ronnie Speaks about the arrest

by Breezy Kiefair

Petition Organizer

In this video, Ronnie speaks about the day he was arrested and the injustice that day.

He really needs our support. Please keep sharing the petition and consider dropping Ronnie a Letter. He could really use some funds placed on his books in the form of MONEY ORDERS. a 6 minute call costs us $20 and the calls have needed to be much longer than 6 minutes lately. As of this morning, I have put the last of my medication money for the month onto Ronnie Smith’s books for phone calls in faith some sales will be made of my art to hold my medication needs over for the rest of the month.

Ronnie Smith c/o Yavapai county Jail Inmate #036312 Unit 4 Booking # 13-02676 2830 Commonwealth Dr #105 Camp Verde, AZ 86322-9998 donation link: https://www.wepay.com/donations/ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund or you can buy art from Breezy Kiefair to help support the phone calls.

https://www.wepay.com/fb/stores/628249

more links:http://kentuckymarijuanaparty.org/latest-news/78-ronnie-lee-smith-incarcerated-for-cannabis-in-az

http://the-human-solution.org/blogs-category/help-defend-ronnie-smith/

please view the following linkshttp://kiefair.com/2013/04/28/help-defend-ronnie-smith/http://kiefair.com/2013/05/02/free-ronnie-smith/

breezy kiefair on the radio with Paula Gloria , Joe Grumbine, Joe Barton and more talking about Ronnie Lee Smith. You can hear the show here:http://www.blogtalkradio.com/papsite-radio/2013/05/05/one-and-a-half-hours-of-sensibility

the excerpt where ronnie is discussed: 

here is a playlist of videos that feature Ronnie Smith. Some of them he is just a voice off camera and others he is the oil maker responsible for the oil in the video. I hope this helps.much love Breezy Kiefairhttp://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwc43UiVjiuei4EEsVLLENxtNMH1ASuwl

please sign the petition for his release: (432  signatures so far the morning of June 13, 2013)

http://www.change.org/petitions/state-of-arizona-free-ronnie-smith please sign the petition for his release.

If you wish to donate to his defense, please visit:https://www.wepay.com/donations/ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund

music videos:

need oil because Ronnie Smith is in jail? here is how to make it.http://kiefair.com/2013/05/25/how-to-make-phoenix-tears/

Letter to the Judge asking for Leniency

Ronnie Smith

c/o Yavapa County Jail

Inmate #036312 Unit 4

Booking # 13-02676

2830 Commonwealth Dr #105

Camp Verde, AZ 86322-9998

10 June 2013

Honorable Judge Tina R. Ainley

Yavapai County Courthouse – Prescott120 South Cortez StreetPrescott, AZ 86303

Honorable Judge Tina R. Ainley;

I am writing in regards to Mr. Ronnie L. Smith, inmate #036312, booking #13-02676

My name is Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer. My partner’s name is Ronnie Lee Smith. He is a law abiding patriot with a history of going through great lengths to practice his religion and choice of medicine legally, because he has respect for the law. Unfortunately, due to mistake of fact during a trip from California back home to Colorado, both locations where he medicates and worships legally with marijuana, he is now sitting in a jail cell hoping for your mercy.

Ronnie Lee Smith is a cancer survivor, but faces a risk of the cancer returning without access to his medication. He is also my caregiver. I myself am in poor health and each day that passes without his assistance finds me in even worse shape. Ronnie’s detention is an unbearable hardship for the both of us, and places us both in jeopardy as far as our health is concerned.

By assigning labels to a person, we systematically dehumanize them. When Arizona law enforcement officers assigned the label “suspect” to Ronnie Lee Smith, they began a process to dehumanized him, forgetting that he is also a human being who has medical conditions as well as a spirit that has chosen to worship within a religion.

When we limit our observations of an individual to a single facet of their being, we loose sight of the whole. We loose sight of the fact that Mr. Ronnie Smith has a loving companion back home waiting for him, experiencing her own health deteriorate at a rapid pace accellerated by the stress of awaiting a man who is being detained and prevented from caring from his own health, let alone helping to caretake his loved ones.

When we loose sight of the person who Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith is, it may be easy to persecute a label.

We ask that you not loose sight of Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith, the ENTIRE person. The person, who, as a medical patient of both California and Colorado, was traveling through Arizona carrying his personal medication on him. Taking a route through Arizona, due to the fact that he was attempting to stay within the boarders of states that understood compassionate care with cannabis. He was attempting to obey the law.

Unfortunately for Mr. Smith, and his ill companion back home; he was labeled a suspect.

Now, he is being held without access to the very medication that keeps him healthy. His companion back home is braving another cancer scare alone, without the man who is her very soul mate.

Why? Why is Arizona intent on prosecuting Mr. Smith? Doesn’t he fall with the State of Arizona’s own reciprocity in regards to Medical Marijuana? Doesn’t the Arizona Medical Marijuana Act define a “Visiting Qualifying Patient” in 36-2801 item 17?

We humbly ask you to take in consideration the fullness of the human condition that is Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith. We also ask that you take into consideration his failing health within the confines of the penal system. We ask that you relieve the state and the system of caring for Mr. Smith and release him into the care of his friends and intentional family who dearly love him.

Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith is a person who, as a patient was traveling with his medication between two states where he has seen physicians for his conditions. While traveling home, he has been sorely detained and only wishes to return to his home in Colorado where both his loving companion as well as his church anxiously await his return. We humbly ask that you grant that desire.

Ronnie is a good person who is non-violent and poses no threat of harm to society. I am asking for leniency on his behalf. First and foremost I would like to request his release on his own recognizance and dismissal of all charges so that he can come home and focus on his health and mine. If that is not an option, we are still requesting leniency, perhaps a release with time served. Ronnie has done so much to aid sick people across this Nation. Please give us hope that he may continue his cancer treatments and continue to aid in my recovery as well.

I have faith that the right course of action will be considered by the justice system.

Thank you for considering this request for leniency.

Sincerely,

Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer

 

Free Ronnie Smith

There are two methods you can go about this letter writing campaign.

The first is to click here and be taken to a change.org petition. This is the easiest way to get the letter circulated

The other way to help in the letter writing campaign  is to use the information I have provided below to send the letters out. Many of the people in power we are addressing require that you enter your email via their personal website. Those people do not have email addresses listed publicly. When filling out a contact form, please be sure to use the zip code of the jail holding Ronnie so that they don’t toss your concerns out for being from out of state.

email to

atobin@azleg.gov,

kfann@azleg.gov,

bbarton@azleg.gov,

bthorpe@azleg.gov,

spierce@azleg.gov,

ccrandell@azleg.gov

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you about freedom. Merriam Webster defines freedom as:

Definition of FREEDOM

1: the quality or state of being free: as

 a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

 b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence

 c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous <freedom from care>

 d : ease, facility <spoke the language with freedom>

 e : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken freedom>

 f : improper familiarity

 g : boldness of conception or execution

 h : unrestricted use <gave him the freedom of their home>

2

a : a political right

b : franchise, privilege

 http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/freedom

But we all know that Freedom Means so much more than that.

In the united states, the word freedom has attained a near holy status since our founding fathers so long ago so boldly declared their independence from the crown and said,

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. “

The passage came to represent a moral standard to which the United States should strive. What great word and ideal is standing behind those words? Freedom.

Our constitution is similarly tied up in this idea of freedom. The People are free, that is why we fought England, to be free. So concerned are we as a people with freedom, that we amended that sacred document with the Bill of Rights.

The first amendment of the United States constitution is:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

We have this amendment so that people can follow their conscience. We have this amendment so that people can make up their own minds and speak it. This amendment is perhaps one of the most powerful sentences ever written. For, what free person could tolerate anyone getting between them and their understanding of a creator (or their firm belief in atheism for that matter).

Yes, we as an American people are taught to love freedom and speak about our love of that freedom from an early age.

Sure, we all love freedom, but why am I really writing to you about freedom?

I am specifically writing to you on behalf of a prisoner in the great state of Arizona. The Right Reverend Ronnie Lee Smith was stopped while traveling through your state and was detained for possessing medicinal and sacramental cannabis. The Reverend Smith holds a medical recommendation from Dr Eidleman from California. Dr. Eidleman is well known for his natural medicine. He has been in the natural healing field for over thirty years. Dr. Eidleman traveled all over the world, learning a lot about natural ways of healing the body, the mind, and the spirit. Dr. Eidleman believe that these approaches to healing and to prevention and to awakening can be a boon to each of us, and to the country as a whole.

You can read more about Dr. Eidleman here: http://dreidelman.org/Health/bio/

Colorado and California state laws both protect patients who have a doctor’s recommendation but who have not registered with the state. Reverend Smith was legal for his medicinal and religious cannabis where he was visiting in California, he was legal where he was headed (home to Colorado). The state of Arizona does have reciprocity for their state. The Reverend Smith was just passing through the state but was arrested for his sacrament and medication.

Not only is Ronnie Smith a Reverend in his own right, he is also a member of a church in Colorado called Green Faith Ministry N.A.C. Headed by Reverend Brandon Baker. The mandates of Greenfaith Ministry are as follows:

*Cannabis Is a Healing Sacrament of green faith ministry, and is
MANDATED FOR ALL PATRONS TO PRACTICE SACRAMENTAL
CANNABIS BURNT OFFERINGS FOR BLESSINGS OF HEALTH for
reasons  as follows:

*HELPS EVOLVE THE SOUL Sacramental Cannabis augments ones faith and
contributes to the evolution of one’s soul as one communes with ones inner self
and ones spiritual connection with the universe.
*IS AN EXERCISE IN ACQUIRING SPIRITUAL ATTRIBUTES BY
SHARING. Sharing Sacramental Cannabis contributes to communion with Spirit
and fellowship with others in the spiritual association of the brother/sisterhood of
humankind. This practice leads to the discovery and creation of one’s spiritual
path.
*CREATES PEACE The hand cultivation of Sacramental Cannabis exerts an
ennobling and expanding influence on people. The agriculturist is a peace loving
person. A nurturing association with the Sacramental Cannabis plants instills
patience, quiet, peace, reverence, meditation, spiritual awareness, enlightenment
and awareness of the life force. There is great therapeutic value in growing your
own sacrament when it is done in conscious partnership with collective human
spirituality.
*ENHANCES SPIRITUAL RECEPTIVITY One’s inherent imagination and
spiritual receptivity is influenced by growing harvesting and ingesting the
Cannabis Sacrament. The bio-electro-neuro-chemical effects of ingestion enhances
the interface between mind and spirit and augments spiritual receptivity. The
effect maybe likened to what happens to the image in a microscope when a drop
of oil is added on an oil immersion lens. It is magnified and amplified to the eye of
the beholder.
*SERVES HUMANITY AS A MEANS OF HEALING People benefit from
utilizing sacramental Cannabis in conjunction with the body/mind healing values of
Cannabis. Cannabis Sacrament as medicine/nourishment for the body and the
spirit should be available to those who need it for relief from AIDS, glaucoma,
nausea from radiation & chemotherapy, stress, muscle spastics, asthma, loss
of appetite, migraine headaches, menstrual related discomforts, and many other
human maladies. One of the THC Ministry’s(as well as green faith ministry’s)
Holy duties is to provide the blessing of its Cannabis Sacrament to those suffering
and in need of its benevolent blessings.
***Mandates by and for members of g. f. ministry, and all other div. of
thc-ministries.
*Special thanks to: All Div. Of thc-Ministries World Wide, and The Religion of
Jesus Churches.

Mandates retrieved from: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/whatISgf.html

more church mandates: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/more_mandates.html

More on Greenfaith ministry here: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/

To whomever is reading this, I want you to consider three things about “state of Arizona vs smith”

  1. Ronnie Smith is a medical cannabis patient. He has nerve damage and is a cancer survivor. He uses this plant to treat pain and to prevent the return of cancer. (Google search “run from the cure” if you have not yet heard of cannabis use to cure cancer)
  2. Ronnie Smith is a Reverend protected by the first amendment and a member of a religion who mandates smoked offerings.
  3. Ronnie Smith was travelling with minimal amounts of his medicine and sacrament, clearly not warranting any element other than personal possession

21 usc 802(2) The term “administer” refers to the direct application of a controlled substance to the body of a patient or research subject by—
(A) a practitioner (or, in his presence, by his authorized agent), or
(B) the patient or research subject at the direction and in the presence of the practitioner,whether such application be by injection, inhalation, ingestion, or any other means.
(3) The term “agent” means an authorized person who acts on behalf of or at the direction of a manufacturer, distributor, or dispenser; except that such term does not include a common or contract carrier, public warehouseman, or employee of the carrier or warehouseman, when acting in the usual and lawful course of the carrier’s or warehouseman’s business….
(10) The term “dispense” means to deliver a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject by, or pursuant to the lawful order of, a practitioner, including the prescribing and administering of a controlled substance and the packaging, labeling or compounding necessary to prepare the substance for such delivery. The term “dispenser” means a practitioner who so delivers a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject….
*(27) The term “ultimate user” means a person who has lawfully obtained, and who possesses, a controlled substance for his own use or for the use of a member of his household or for an animal owned by him or by a member of his household.

I humbly beg the representatives with the power to do so in the state of Arizona to drop the charges included in case number J-1304-CR-201300774

Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapai County Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105
Camp Verde, Arizona, 86322-999

Respectfully,

2012-09-28 1700 driving home (90)

who to send it to:

Please use the Jail address instead of your own address when sending msgs via the websites

Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapai County Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105
Camp Verde, Arizona, 86322-999

list of representatives whom serve Yavapai County, Arizona

at the time of posting, each one has already gotten an email from me.

GOVERNOR JANICE K. BREWER

The Honorable Janice K. Brewer
Arizona Governor
Executive Tower
1700 West Washington Street
Phoenix, AZ 85007

Phoenix Office: (602) 542-4331
Tucson Office: (520) 628-6580
Fax Number: (602) 542-1381
In-State Toll Free: 1-800-253-0883 (outside Maricopa County only)

http://azgovernor.gov/Contact.asp

Your Senators

Sen. John McCain

RSOB- Russell Senate Office Building, Room 241
Constitution and Delaware Avenues, NE
Washington DC 20510-0303
Phone:(202) 224-2235
Fax:(202) 228-2862


Sen. Jeff Flake

RSOB- Russell Senate Office Building, Room B85
Constitution and Delaware Avenues, NE
Washington DC 20510
Phone:(202) 224-4521
Fax:(202) 228-0515

http://www.flake.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/contact-jeff

Your Representatives

Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick

District: FH-AZ01
CHOB- Cannon House Office Building, Room 330
Independence Avenue and 1st Street, SE
Washington DC 20515-0301
Phone:(202) 225-3361
Fax:(202) 225-3462

https://kirkpatrick.house.gov/contact/email-me


Rep. Paul Gosar

District: FH-AZ04
CHOB- Cannon House Office Building, Room 504
Independence Avenue and 1st Street, SE
Washington DC 20515-0301
Phone:(202) 225-2315
Fax:(202) 226-9739

https://gosar.house.gov/contact-me

Your State Representatives

State House

Rep. Andy Tobin

Phone:(602) 926-5172
Fax:(602) 417-3085
Email:atobin@azleg.gov

Rep. Karen Fann

Phone:(602) 926-5874
Fax:(602) 417-3001
Email:kfann@azleg.gov


Rep. Brenda Barton

Phone:(602) 926-4129
Fax:(602) 417-3010
Email:bbarton@azleg.gov

Rep. Bob Thorpe

Phone:(602) 926-5219
Fax:(602) 417-3223
Email:bthorpe@azleg.gov

State Senate

Sen. Steve Pierce

Phone:(602) 926-5584
Fax:(602) 417-3101
Email:spierce@azleg.gov

Sen. Chester Crandell

Phone:(602) 926-5409
Fax:(602) 417-3105
Email:ccrandell@azleg.gov

If you wish to donate to Ronnie Smith’s communication from jail, here is an easy way to help Ronnie Smith with communication funds. To put funds on Roland A. Duby‘s books for calls

please call 1-888-988-4768
and put funds on the name Ronnie Smith
DOB 08/20/66
Facility id: 90

or you may donate though wepay via the following link:

https://www.wepay.com/donations/ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund

UPDATED POST: MOM AND DAD Remembering a Murdered boy: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. Happy would-be 13th birthday 7:47pm (birth minute)

Breezy Kiefair:

UPDATED POST: MOM AND DAD Remembering a Murdered boy: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. Happy would-be 13th birthday 7:47pm (birth minute)

an update from Westley’s father at the bottom of the post. I am so very grateful.

Originally posted on Welcome To Kiefair.com:

This is the pamphlet from his funeral.

This is the pamphlet from his funeral.

Westley Was premature. this was his first day home from the hospital. — in Fairfax, Virginia. October 30, 1998

Westley Was premature. this was his first day home from the hospital. — in Fairfax, Virginia. October 30, 1998

Westley and I moved to Hillsdale, Michigan where I had attended &amp; graduated from Hillsdale High School in 1997 — in Homer, Michigan.

Westley and I moved to Hillsdale, Michigan where I had attended & graduated from Hillsdale High School in 1997 — in Homer, Michigan.

Here he is with his favorite rattle in the shape of a guitar.

Here he is with his favorite rattle in the shape of a guitar.

I'm gonna stand up and start walkin soon ma... just you wait... just gotta do a few more strenght building exercises to get in shape... come on E'ore lets do it!

I’m gonna stand up and start walkin soon ma… just you wait… just gotta do a few more strenght building exercises to get in shape… come on E’ore lets do it!

Westley's 1st birthday party. he loved this toy. its a rocker with a plastic book on top. each page has different sounds on the buttons &amp; that red paddle goes &quot;broinggggggggg&quot;&amp; stays in motion for a bit every time you &quot;broinggggggg&quot; it... it was so cool to watch him giggle with this.

Westley’s 1st birthday party. he loved this toy. its a rocker with a plastic book on top. each page has different sounds on the buttons & that red paddle goes “broinggggggggg”& stays in motion for a bit every time you “broinggggggg” it… it was so cool to watch him giggle with this.

We lived between Hillsdale, Michigan and and Homer, Michigan in Southern Michigan We lived between Hillsdale, Michigan…

View original 1,939 more words

A mother’s grief 12 years later: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts

It has been 12 years today since your light was snuffed out… I am still here on earth, lingering in a mother’s nowhere-land somewhere between life and death… I am still asking why. I am still lamenting the miscarriage of justice. I have already written extensively on this topic. I have provided my readers with “catch up” links. I don’t have the heart to say much more. I love you Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. I will never forget you or stop holding the memory of your life in my heart.

This is a video of art I have created between March of 2009 and September 2010. It is set to a song written by a friend of mine in real life from High School after the murder of my only child, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts (Westley Keaton means ~man from the field where the Hawks go in Gaelic)

Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts
born 10/24/1998
murdered 05/06/2000
Justice miscarried (murderer acquitted on a technicality Jan 2001)

for more information on Westley’s short life, please see the following blog post:
http://breedheenorilleykeefer.com/2011/10/24/remembering-a-murdered-boy-westley-thorin-keaton-roberts-happy-would-be-13th-birthday-747pm-birth-minute/

A grieving mama far from home needs her baby’s grave tended. In Hillsdale, Michigan there is a catholic cemetery. The link is to the parish.

contact info St. Anthony of Padua Catholic Church
11 N. Broad St.
Hillsdale, MI 49242
Office – 517-437-3305
Fax – 517-437-0034

They should be able to direct you to the cemetery. Just inside the gate by the fair grounds is a big pine tree. Seek out the gravestone of a murdered infant with a puppy on the stone. The name on the stone is Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. Please clear away the leaves from his stone. Please tell him his mother still loves him and is still crying. If you can, please lay some red flowers there or release red balloons with seeds attached, so that love may grow at random for his memory. October 24, 1998 – May 6, 2000 gone far too soon, but my son, I feel your presence still. http://stanthonypadua.catholicweb.com/

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?msid=208245905641388047753.0004bf5ff5a6760bf607c&msa=0&ll=41.90898,-84.626975&spn=0.001601,0.002411&iwloc=0004bf5ff944d0ce89eb1

Remembering a Murdered boy: Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. Happy would-be 13th birthday 7:47pm (birth minute)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

This is the pamphlet from his funeral.

This is the pamphlet from his funeral.

Westley Was premature. this was his first day home from the hospital. — in Fairfax, Virginia. October 30, 1998

Westley Was premature. this was his first day home from the hospital. — in Fairfax, Virginia. October 30, 1998

Westley and I moved to Hillsdale, Michigan where I had attended & graduated from Hillsdale High School in 1997 — in Homer, Michigan.

Westley and I moved to Hillsdale, Michigan where I had attended & graduated from Hillsdale High School in 1997 — in Homer, Michigan.

Here he is with his favorite rattle in the shape of a guitar.

Here he is with his favorite rattle in the shape of a guitar.

I'm gonna stand up and start walkin soon ma... just you wait... just gotta do a few more strenght building exercises to get in shape... come on E'ore lets do it!

I’m gonna stand up and start walkin soon ma… just you wait… just gotta do a few more strenght building exercises to get in shape… come on E’ore lets do it!

Westley's 1st birthday party. he loved this toy. its a rocker with a plastic book on top. each page has different sounds on the buttons & that red paddle goes "broinggggggggg"& stays in motion for a bit every time you "broinggggggg" it... it was so cool to watch him giggle with this.

Westley’s 1st birthday party. he loved this toy. its a rocker with a plastic book on top. each page has different sounds on the buttons & that red paddle goes “broinggggggggg”& stays in motion for a bit every time you “broinggggggg” it… it was so cool to watch him giggle with this.

We lived between Hillsdale, Michigan and and Homer, Michigan in Southern Michigan

We lived between Hillsdale, Michigan and and Homer, Michigan in Southern Michigan

On May 6, 2000 Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts sustained injuries in this bathtub. He suffered a blow to the abdomen so severe it ruptured his intestines. It took him 12 hours to die. He died while I gave him CPR just after getting home from work. He was Dead on arrival. they never got a pulse.

On May 6, 2000 Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts sustained injuries in this bathtub. He suffered a blow to the abdomen so severe it ruptured his intestines. It took him 12 hours to die. He died while I gave him CPR just after getting home from work. He was Dead on arrival. they never got a pulse.

If all works out according to plan, this will be posted on my only child’s birth minute on what would have been his 13th birthday.

I have often said that we have a word for people who loose all family members but children (widow/widower, orphan, ect) partially because of historical mortality rates of children and partially because it is a loss so horrible there just isn’t a word to describe the feeling. I will never forget you Westley. You changed me as a person for the better & for this, I am forever grateful to you.

I named my only child Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts. I agonized in research for months looking for the right name. Westley and Keaton together means ~”loosely” man from the field where the Hawks go in Gaelic. Westley was also in deference to of my I don’t know how many great(s)-uncle named Westley O’Connor who family legend says worked with the first pine-bark beetle infestations in Colorado. Thorin was for the character Thorin Oakenshield in J. R. R. Tolkien‘s book “The Hobbit” and also because his biological father had requested that “Thor” be in the name some where. The other hidden joke in Westleys’ Name will already be seen by fans of the movie “The Princess Bride” whose main character Wesley becomes “the dread pirate roberts” later on.

Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts
born 10/24/1998 7:47pm Fairfax, Virginia in Fair Oaks Hospital

murdered 05/06/2000 (finally passed late around 11:59pm) Homer, Mi

On May 6, 2000 Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts sustained injuries in a bathtub. He suffered a blow to the abdomen so severe it ruptured his intestines. It took him 12 hours to die. He died while I gave him CPR just after getting home from work. He was Dead on arrival. they never got a pulse. His death was ruled a homicide. The only person with Westley that day was my fiance. I will not say his name.

Justice miscarried (murderer acquitted on a technicality Jan/Feb 2001) Battle Creek, MI

This is a video of art I have created between March of 2009 and September 2010. It is set to a song written by a friend of mine in real life from High School after the murder of my only child, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts.

the below link will take you to where this video was first posted on facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/v/150854724934545

On October 23, 2011, I went looking for the online link for my son’s obituary. I have seen it online in the past. It should be on this page:

If you think I am being paranoid about my kid’s obituary being erased, please view the link. Yet the little girl who was raped & murdered & her body burned a few weeks after Westley is still there….. relevant excerpt below:

April 26, 2000

Robert Keith Rice, Sr.
Robert Keith Rice, Sr., 72, of Litchfield, died Thursday, April 20, 2000, at home.
Mr. Rice was born November 21, 1927, in Northwest Township, Ohio, to Ross O. and Belva (Seely) Rice. He married Hazel I. (Coats) Dickinson January 14, 1989. She survives.
Mr. Rice had been a machinist at Adwest in Hillsdale, as well as several other area shops. He was a WWII Army veteran and enjoyed membership in a motorcycle club. Mr. Rice was an avid hunter, fisherman and woodworker.
In addition to his wife, Mr. Rice is survived by two daughters, Tresia Moon of San Bernardino, California, and Laura Ann Johnson of Litchfield; a son, Robert K. Rice, Jr. of Bronson; five stepchildren, Diane Ely of Jacksonville, Florida, Doris Isaac of Westland, Esther McPherson of Marshall, Mary Dickinson of Hillsdale and Mickey Dickinson of Homer; a sister, Mildred Crawford of Camden; 16 grandchildren; and seven great-grandchildren.
He was preceded in death by a sister.
Funeral services were held Monday, April 24, at the Camden Missionary Church, with Pastor Jeff Truex officiating. Interment followed at the Camden Cemetery.
Memorial contributions are suggested to the family.
Arrangements were handled by the St. John-White Funeral Home in Reading.

Frederick “Fritz” Lincoln
Frederick “Fritz” Lincoln, 76, of Litchfield, died Saturday, April 22, 2000, at his home.
Mr. Lincoln was born September 1, 1923, in Wayne County, to Zara Byron and Ada (Gladding) Lincoln. He owned and operated a service station in Litchfield for 17 years and was a foundry superintendent at Gale Manufacturing for more than 20 years. He was also a farmer.
Mr. Lincoln was a World War II army veteran, serving in the European Theatre, where he participated in the Normandy invasion. He received four Bronze Stars and the Purple Heart. He was a former member of the Homer American Legion, and enjoyed deer hunting, gardening and harness racing.
Survivors include a daughter, Bonnie Ament of Big Sandy, Tennessee; a son, Fred Lincoln of Reading; a companion, Betty Tervol of Litchfield; two sisters, Laura Doman of Horton and Zarena Coates of Warren; four grandchildren; and three great-grandchildren.
He was preceded in death by two brothers, two sisters and a grandson.
Funeral services were held Tuesday, April 25, at the George White Funeral Home in Litchfield, with the Rev. Clyde Wonders officiating. Interment followed in Burlington Cemetery in Calhoun County.
Memorials are suggested to the Hospice of Hillsdale County.

May 3, 2000 – No obits

May 10, 2000

Charlotte May Merica
Charlotte May Merica, 83, of Homer, died Saturday, May 6, 2000, at Branch County Health Center in Coldwater.
Mrs. Merica was born August 18, 1916, in Walcottville, Indiana, to Franklin and Wilma (Keck) Slagle. She married Marion McVee Merica July 11, 1932. He preceded her in death in 1973.
Mrs. Merica came to the Homer area in 1936. She was a homemaker, who loved to cook and sew.
Survivors include two sons, William F. Merica of Montpelier, Ohio, and Walter L. (Annabelle) Merica of Homer; three daughters, Marjorie Robinson of Homer, Mrs. George (Joyce) Stanley of Quincy, and Mrs. Eugene (Mary) Ballinger of Homer; 17 grandchildren; 33 great-grandchildren; two great-great grandchildren; and a sister, Gladys Pauline Tech of Litchfield.
In addition to her husband, Mrs. Merica was preceded in death by a brother, Leroy Eugene Slagle, and two sisters, Winona Stull and Dolly Slagle.
Funeral services were Tuesday, May 9, at the Homer Chapel of Tidd-Williams Funeral Chapels, Inc., with Mrs. Teresa Bonifield leading the service. Burial was in Westside Cemetery in Colon.

scroll down and you will see
Ashlee Linnabary
Ashlee Linnabary, 4, of Homer, died Monday, May 22, 2000, at home.
Survivors include her mother, Jessica Moyer; her father, William Linnabary; a sister, Abagail; a brother, William; grandparents, Dale and Becky Andrews, Doug Moyer and Vernon and Carol Linnabary; and great-grandparents, James and Edith Dun, Andy Andrews and Margaret Linnabary.
Funeral services were held Friday, May 26, at the Charles J. Burden & Sons Funeral Home in Jackson. Burial was in Hillcrest Memorial Park in Jackson.
Memorials are suggested to the Council for the Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect.
http://www.homerindex.com/obituary_archives.sml?send_year=2000

You can read more about her and her tragic story as well as many other stories of lost angels by clicking this sentence.

so, if to want to erase a baby’s name from history you probably have a good reason…. right? well it just so happens I know who has both motive & power to make such a thing happen… why? The sister of my fiance at the time was then/is now the head of the chamber of commerce a town or two over. I rented the trailer where he was murdered from her. She wanted this little “fiasco” with her brother to disappear…. and I guess she thought it did.

my son’s obituary has been erased from history apparently…. in a town as small as Homer, Michigan… i find it highly suspect. especially when the guy who was acquitted on a technicality in my son’s death has a sister in a nearby town who is the head of a chamber of commerce…. really respectful of them to erase his name from history…

more pics of westley

View all

When he went on trial, they spun it like I was a horrible mom who didnt care about my child and faked being sick (two years after wes died, I was placed on SSD/SSI because of my chronic pain, five more years later I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia) ….. they did a good job of smearing me then & i nearly killed myself over the way they blithely lied repeatedly in court and got others to do the same……. in the end, there is nothing I can do…. he cannot be tried twice for the same crime & he was acquitted because the DA made an error.

The near suicide attempts were 10 years ago during the trial. I haven’t been at that point in a long time. Keep in mind my heart/mind were utterly destroyed by that point. I’d been in the mental hospital for 1/2 a year trying to cope with losing my only kid… in court they were attacking vehemently, even using my own writings about my abuse committed on me to make it seem that I was having FANTASIES OF HURTING MY CHILD……. there really isn’t anything to be done but talk about it, get it out of my system, then let it be…. statuate of limitations for a civil suit expired long ago. I didn’t have the bank or a lawyer willing to take the case at the time.

who really cares that wes is gone? you who made sure his name disappeared? or me who went looking for it 11 years later to be sure it was still there…. all the news reports of the trial seem to have been “sanitized” as well. I dug a bit further and found out that he is working for his sister at the chamber of commerce.

How the does a child murderer guilty as sin but acquitted on a technicality get to work for a city chamber of commerce? 2 words Corruption & NEPOTISM. I have further proof of this, but do not want to set into action anything that could get someone physically hurt, so I have left their names off this page. email btokeefer@gmail.com if you would like further information.

I remember you WESTLEY. I wont forget you.

UPDATE, May 11, 2012 a Remembrance by Westley’s pa.

Westley’s father, Jason William Roberts, was kind enough to provide me with these two images. THANK YOU! many of the youngest images of westley have been stolen by my family and are likely in a safe deposit box. I really do appreciate seeing this. I really am not angry at Jason in the least. Things were what they were, and neither of us can change the past… It was a long time ago. We have both paid dearly for whatever we did in the past. I understand that these two images are all that Jason has to view. Therefore, I will do my best to provide him with each and every image of Westley I have that still exists. It’s only right. If i have more than Jason does, and he will share with me, I can share back

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