Green Living in Red State 2014 Election

 “Green” living in a Red State after 2014 Elections

2014-11-20 13.59  Green living in a Red State (2)

2014-11-20 13.46 Verde Loneowl author pic edit zBy: Verde Loneowl

As a 5th Generation Dallasite the youngest of 3 girls. Life was good all was well with the Earth. Daddy, said when General Eisenhower was elected .. don’t ever elect one of those Republicans, “you can’t make any money when they are in charge” was what he said … It has always stuck. The Fear of the GOP was instilled into my brain at a young age.

Sick and disabled since 1995 with some sort of AutoImmune disorder after our Vacation to Lake Tahoe .. the cancer followed after a long IM injection therapy for Lyme Disease with Rochephin. The IM injections were about a year in duration. If you have no experience with Lyme disease, I encourage you to watch the documentary film

“Under Our Skin”

About 8-10 years ago I went to the dermatologist in Bryan, Texas, Terry Jones, MD, to have a biopsy on a bump on the nape of my neck. A few days later I went in to have a mole removed from my back. The new doctor in the practice called to give me the lab results. “The mole on your back was benign. Oh but the other one is Squamous Cell Carcinoma.” Thanks so much. Never returned to Dr. Terry Jones’ office.

One of my friend’s Judy Greer, RN, her dad was being treated for Squamous Cell Carcinoma at the same time. Chemo was extremely difficult. My choice … let it kill me and tell NO ONE. So to spare my family the pain of knowing cancer was diagnosed decided to live what was left on God’s time. God’s time was very important to me as my daddy was a Deacon and my mom was an Officer in the Women Missionary Union of The Southern Baptist Church, Pleasant Grove Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas. We were a strong church family. This was the only decision in my mind. As I knew the chemo killed you and radiation causes cancer. So I decided to quit cutting my hair.

So we all went on about our life as if nothing was wrong with anyone in my family. When a sore would come up a trip to the Family DO and get it frozen, no more biopsy’s … as the little bumps are quite painful. squamous Cell Carcinoma is inside the blood stream.

In 2013 hearing that Medicinal Cannabis would be given in the State House of Representatives (to find your local representative’s contact information for Texas, please click here). I anxiously awaited the Texas Senate Committee hearing live feed for Medical Cannabis for Texas! The Cannabis Oil would cure cancer! The Federal Government had a Patent! Many who are sent home to die are not dying!! Oh my goodness!  Soon I could begin treating with Cannabis Oil!! The doctor’s in California had been on the Morning Shows saying juice the leaves for the health benefits since 1995 … what was happening … the elected officials were so rude to those there to testify! How could this be? Not voted out of Committee?? They did not know Cannabis Oil cured cancer? Oh no now what?

Screaming out loud at the television … my husband awoke to ask “What was wrong?” I explained no way would we get Medical in 2013. My heart had sunk. The death sentence was looming closer. Still my family did not know cancer was inside me. My hubby was about to find out but did not know how to tell him.

Medical Cannabis denied by Texas Law Makers. Texas has no way to put anything onto the ballot by Petition. All laws must be done during Session and they only meet every other year! Oh my goodness … what now? Educate.

(Need to know how a bill gets introduced and passed in Texas? please click here  http://www.house.state.tx.us/about-us/bill/) how a bill is done in Texas the People are not involved only those elected.

As Facebook connections were already available using those connections of people who were already in the states who had medical Cannabis and by January 2014 we had states Legalizing Cannabis for Recreational use! Texas was 20 years behind! Oh my goodness!! Networks started happening .. Noticing people were sending me Friend Requests connecting with people who were using this plant across the Planet! Not just in America but around the world people were making Cannabis Oil. Some of the stories were not happy endings, many have died while waiting to be Legally Healed. Some are being Illegally Healed. More about that another day. Once my story of Cancer came out on Facebook … along with my story about Cannabis was medicine for over 100 diseases until 1937… “they” found me. Not sure how “they” found me but “they” did. So many have taught me so much! First thing I didn’t know Sugar feeds Cancer. When they do the PET scan to see the Cancer… they shoot sugar-water into you and it lights up the cancer. Thinking Sugar was be the most difficult for me to give up. It was not. 1 week off sugar. Now I use Raw Honey in my coffee. Buying Organic food only when I can find it. We are not too healthy in my area. We do all we can to do it correctly.

If you would like to read up on the how and why cannabis can heal so many things, please click here

I can’t remember how many lesions or how often. I remember the last one … was very painful .. up above the hair-line on the base of my neck, it took a long time for him to get that one. It was frightening. It was close to the base of my skull closest one to my brain and my spinal column.  I knew my time was getting closer to leave my family.

2013-2014 was spent learning the good and the bad things about this Highly Unregulated Industry. Many countries are growing hemp. The Stalks and roots are left and these are sent to China as Industrial Hemp Waste. The Chinese processed the hemp stalks and the roots into industrial hemp waste paste and pack it into drums and sell it this product.  Desperate parents unable to get medicine for babies and the medicine they were using was Industrial Hemp Waste Products from China should be no THC high CBD no high for the babies oh NO!! It takes time to expose people who are doing things wrong. Right away seeing this people desperate for medicine were being railroaded into trying snake oil. Babies were sick and hospitalized. At that time my own illness had to be placed on the back burner and someone had to save the Children! It had to be me! Oh my goodness!

 http://www.projectcbd.org/news/hemp-oil-hustlers-a-project-cbd-special-report-on-medical-marijuana-inc-hempmeds-and-kannaway/

full pdf: http://www.projectcbd.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/ProjectCBD_Special-Report_Medical-Marijuana-Inc-HempMeds-Kannaway1.pdf

I Found myself on a forum Children using Cannabis, CBD, sites on Facebook or Scam sites to protect as many as could be protected. Names are found quickly and you may no longer be able to see what is happening in the bad part. The Stanley Brothers in Colorado Springs area are using the Federal Government and the Hemp Farm Act to try to provide CBD Hemp Oil to children with seizures.

More information on the scams of the “Realm of Caring”

Charlatan’s Web: A CBD Debacle

Snake Oil: History repeats itself

Problem not enough THC the oil quits working for the children and they begin to have break through seizures.  The parents in Legal Cannabis States can supplement the THC that is needed. Those who allowed CBD Only or Limited bills are not BEING SERVED! It is broken and not working!  Even the high CBD comes from the leaves and flowers of the Cannabis Plant not a hemp plant. Each strain has different ratios of CBD/THC/CBG/THCa there are hundreds of compounds. Cannabis  makes flowers and leaves … Hemp provides very little useable compounds as there are no flowers for industrial products hemp oil, hemcrete, cloth, paper, art, and other industries. The new Charlotte’s Web has changed from Cannabis hybrid with R4  hemp to get the CBD up and the THC down. That was then! Now the Stanley Brothers are providing Charlotte’s Web HEMP OIL! Please you must educate and protect as there are no safeguards other than each state’s laws. Right now not one of the bills in the CBD only states are currently working, at this time to my knowledge. Know many of these parent warriors.

an article on THC and THCa Helping a little girl with her seizures click here

Texas Parents and Patients have no laws are really in better shape going into Texas Senate 2015 Sessions than all the states who had someone from the Stanley camp go in and understand what they were doing during 2014. So not one of those states are really working this gives Texas the opportunity to not make the same CBD or hemp Oil mistakes. When you limit number of Compounds you limit patients ability to use the medicine effectively. Most patients have a Cannabis Consultant to make your job easier. Many know strains and number to help cure many illness. We have documented cases with X-ray and Labs which is science based cancers gone. Secondary Cancer from the Radiation Treatment appear to be the most difficult to treat. The Oncologist in Washington, Oregon, California, Michigan, Colorado, New Mexico and others see Cannabis Oil patients are stronger than the ones who are not using Cannabis Oil with Chemo! Some Oncologist are asking can we have them call you! Yes you can! We are about doing God’s Business. It’s His gift to us! Cannabis Oil was used for Thousands of Years, dating back to Egypt. They found Cannabis in the mummy tissue. It’s medicine and our bodies have an entire system to process all the compounds in the plant for use in our bodies. Everything you might know about Cannabis is based on Lies, bigotry and Fear Mongering. That is the hardest part to understand. For years some of us have been made to we are a little less human or worse for having understood all along that something about this no matter how bad the lies, bigotry and fear mongering was .. it felt good and it must have been like that Santa Claus story … or the Easter Bunny … not it was a DEVIL STORY! God, Creator, Spirit Being gave us seeds. Like a tomato. Like a herb. Like a Rose. It’s a plant and it is a great spiritual healing plant provided to us for our health. The only real problem is will the governor we elected help the people of Texas? We must turn that over to God. 

 First let me assure you the high is … you feel good. It is not like a drunk. If you have not experienced a “high” you should try  it before your worry about your child might be high. Many parents should be reading the “Side Effects” of the Pharma… Phenobarbital (INN) or phenobarbitone (BAN) is( a long-acting barbiturate and the most widely used anti-seizure medication globally. It has sedative properties, but as with other barbiturates, benzodiazepines are more commonly used for this purpose. Anyone else think these lab created, doctor prescribed drugs are a bad idea for children? Some of the AED Seizure meds can cause DEATH as a side effect! Cannabis Oil, ZERO deaths. You can not die from too much Cannabis it never passes the part of the brain that controls your heart or lungs… Just how smart is that??  God made this plant perfect in every way! The Plants come from Seed and it is here for our health and well-being. Sun Grown is the best method as it provides Oxygen in to the air for us to breathe! But if you can not grow legally you can use a closet and grow your plants for your medicine! It is so important for everyone who can grow to please grow and share this gift with others, in a safe manner.

A new study suggests alcohol is more harmful than heroin or crack MOST people would agree that some drugs are worse than others: heroin is probably considered to be more dangerous than marijuana, for instance. Because governments formulate criminal and social policies based upon classifications of harm, a new study published by the Lancet on November 1st makes interesting reading. Researchers led by Professor David Nutt, a former chief drugs adviser to the British government, asked drug-harm experts to rank 20 drugs (legal and illegal) on 16 measures of harm to the user and to wider society, such as damage to health, drug dependency, economic costs and crime. Alcohol is the most harmful drug in Britain, scoring 72 out of a possible 100, far more damaging than heroin (55) or crack cocaine (54). It is the most harmful to others by a wide margin, and is ranked fourth behind heroin, crack, and methamphetamine (crystal meth) for harm to the individual. The authors point out that the model's weightings, though based on judgment, were analysed and found to be stable as large changes would be needed to change the overall rankings

A new study suggests alcohol is more harmful than heroin or crack
MOST people would agree that some drugs are worse than others: heroin is probably considered to be more dangerous than marijuana, for instance. Because governments formulate criminal and social policies based upon classifications of harm, a new study published by the Lancet on November 1st makes interesting reading. Researchers led by Professor David Nutt, a former chief drugs adviser to the British government, asked drug-harm experts to rank 20 drugs (legal and illegal) on 16 measures of harm to the user and to wider society, such as damage to health, drug dependency, economic costs and crime. Alcohol is the most harmful drug in Britain, scoring 72 out of a possible 100, far more damaging than heroin (55) or crack cocaine (54). It is the most harmful to others by a wide margin, and is ranked fourth behind heroin, crack, and methamphetamine (crystal meth) for harm to the individual. The authors point out that the model’s weightings, though based on judgment, were analysed and found to be stable as large changes would be needed to change the overall rankings

chart courtesy of: http://www.economist.com/blogs/dailychart/2010/11/drugs_cause_most_harm

This movement started decades ago. In the meantime we will be dreaming of another place where we can have the Right to Pursue Happiness and Freedoms while healing my body of cancer and disease! We have several Groups of Texans who want to see Cannabis Medicine.   Connecting together on Facebook to be ready to go into Austin when the Session begins 2015. We have circled the Wagons to get our selves together and we are waiting for others to join us!

As more main stream news agency’s are interviewing these parents and patients who are healing across America. Hoping those who read this story will contact Texas Elected officials … if you use this medicine you can not come to Texas. Children and adults must leave Texas in order to cure the illnesses with Cannabis Oil. My goal is for Not One more Texan have to move away for Cannabis Oil. Hoping we can gather more help from the Grass Root efforts.

Choosing to be a Non-Dues paying member to anyone’s group. I dab (pun) some from all of the Facebook groups. Just not sure which ones to trust and which ones to not trust. Many are “Grass Roots” until you get on the Cash Cow … as Cannabis … Marihauna … Pot … Weed and other products can change your outlook.

For those who understand Extraction Methods … my personal preference for Cancer treatment is Flowers and Leaf with a full Organic Grain Alcohol Extraction.  The cancer treatment is hard and fast but nothing like Chemo. People usually sleep, eat and enjoy life. Please if you can Grow do Grow and share this wonderful Cannabis Oil with others often!!

Extractions, grows, and other illegal activities are not being conducted at my home. Waiting on the laws to change. We must be ready!

It’s been a short 12 since the Elections … Much is happening in Texas and America … as we get ready to head into the 2015 Session. Texas only meets every other year so if Texas is doing anthing like a Compassionate Care Act Texans must unite regardless of party lines. Compassion knows no party lines.

Earlier this week Rice Univsersity’s, Baker Institute department of Drug Policy provided a Program called “Is Texas Ready for Medical Marihauna?” It was very informative but was a bit weak … sometimes when you work in an area so long you loose sights… Like at the very beginning the news source quoted “Texas Tribune” is a gop rag ran by the very attorney’s representing Governor Perry in a Felony Indictment in Texas. It is definitely, a red rag flying and spreading the news of the gop around. Not a reliable source but are there really any reliable sources?

It’s almost 2 hours long. Ann Lee, with Republican’s Against Marijuana Prohibition has more going on in the Houston area! We are so thankful for Ann who is works long and hard to End Prohibition.

Florida which received 58% of the vote for Medical Cannabis Initiative but 60% was required for a ballot to pass. Florida also had filed a limited bill! Thankfully, it lost in court so it’s back to the drawing board for Florida! Saving states from more bad law is very difficult with people like the Stanley Brother’s from Colorado. The science is in that CBD only does not work without THC. So more bad laws are in place for 2014 and not one is working. The only Compassionate Acts working are using Whole Cannabis Plant based medicine in 23 states and DC.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-charlottes-web-rules-tossed-out-20141114-story.html

Educating those in the Republican Party who hasve taken such a hard hard stance against Cannabis as Medicine will make it hard but not impossible. Texans state wide must make an effort to contact their elected officals if we are to Make it Happen in 2015!! We are working at doing just that in Texas! Texas is a large state and networking together regardless of our affliations must be bipartisan! The Compassionate Cannabis Care Act will be over one of the largests numbers of people to date! We have many in Texas who will benefit from this Legislative Action. This is about Personal Freedom. Freedom! We can no longer allow the Republican Party to use Religion to Stop Cannabis when Cannabis is a Gift from our God/Creator. You can not be Pro-Life and be for Prohibition. It just does not work.

http://www.texasgop.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/2014-Platform-Final.pdf

Alexis Bortell, age 9 is one of DFW Normal’s Poster Children for Medical Cannabis. We have 4 in all but they represent over 85 families not counting the ones we have already sent into other States for Compassionate Care. Alexis’s dad is a Disabled Vet and her mother is as well! Whole Plant is all we can accept in Texas after seeing every bill in 2014 fail to work with a CBD only and no THC or limited amounts.  Alexis has already been to Colorado and has her Red Card for treatment. She is a Texas Girl and wants to stay in Texas. She does not want to live in Colorado. Quite frankly wonder if some in Colorado are a little tired of us sending our sick and disabled there! Texas is losing money every day we do not have laws on the books in Texas for Full Compassionate Care as well as Legalization for Freedoms.  Alexis, spoke at the DFW Marihuana March in October. They estimated over 5000 people in attendance, during the Ebola scare! Thinking that was a good thing. The police departments in both Dallas and Frisco had no problems with our Peaceful March’s to bring about the truth! If you are not on the Cannabis’ side you are on the wrong side of History! End Prohibition Nationwide and Free the POW’s. Leaving no one behind.  As you can see from this video the Employee’s of the State of Texas working for Represenative Scott Turner, appear to have little regard for a young 9 year old girl. They shot the finger at her! A 9 year old in front of TV Camera’s from Channel 33 in DFW area.  Someone said the Video put up by the station when shared was removed from Facebook. As I live a long way from the DFW area was not there in person. This video pretty much sums it up … we are peacefully asking for our Freedom and being ignored by the Republican Elected Officals. We see this as a Public Health Issue which is not being addressed by our State Legislature and across the Bible Belt. Pleople must Stand Up with us! Contacting your elected officials at both the State and National level!

The saddest thing is Cannabis … never hurt anyone. The Lies about this plant have harmed many! If you can grow … grow and share with those who can not.  Onelove

 

Remember in Texas you can only effect change by swaying your legislators!
Find your state representatives: http://www.house.state.tx.us/members/find-your-representative/

Find your state senators:
http://www.senate.state.tx.us/75r/Senate/Members.htm#FYI

Find your Federal Level Senators and Representatives
https://www.govtrack.us/congress/members/TX

The Tale of The Heart of Atnimera, a cannabis infused Opal emerald amulet

The Tale of The Heart of Atnimera, a cannabis infused Opal emerald amulet

and  Introduction by: Breezy Kiefair
The name Atnimera comes from a fantasy novel series Breezy Kiefair has written. The heart of Atnimera is an amulet in real life that I plan to write into the story. If you would like to read that fictional tale, you may begin your journey here:http://www.scribd.com/doc/77199602/1Of-Dragon-s-Fate-Book-1-Emergence-Part-1-Version3
But this is the tale of a very real amulet made by a wonderful artist and how her artistry inspired me to write a real object into a novel… and how that object became changed and forever infused with cannabis.This object was made by: MaeCody Gems & Jewels you can find her beautiful stone and wire work on Etsy

BUY Your Jewelry AT:  MaeCody Gems & Jewels on Etsy , Support an amazing independent talent

 To learn more about Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer who created these lovely wire work pendants and has taken such care in charging them, please read

The Healing Tale of Wren

This is my opal/emerald amulet that the talented wren is trading me for my birthday last May. I sent her some prints from Please Bogart my art, and she set her hands to work for me —
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=798133010206710&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1
This is my opal/emerald amulet that the talented wren is trading me for my birthday. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=798133010206710&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

This is my opal/emerald amulet that the talented wren is trading me for my birthday. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=798133010206710&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

 

 

10363693_799102313443113_883256806164430674_n
On the left is an opal… on the right, an emerald. The opal is my only son, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts‘ birth stone (October). The emerald is both my birth stone and Westley’s death month stone. What we see here is wire turned with the best of intentions and acme of skill. Thank you so much wren. I’m so honored. — https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=799102313443113&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1
On the left is an opal... on the right, an emerald. The opal is my only son, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts' birth stone (october). The emerald is both my birth stone and Westley's death month stone. What we see here is wire turned with the besto of intentions and acme of skill. Thank you so much wren. I'm so honored. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=799102313443113&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

On the left is an opal… on the right, an emerald. The opal is my only son, Westley Thorin Keaton Roberts’ birth stone (October The emerald is both my birth stone and Westley’s death month stone. What we see here is wire turned with the best of intentions and acme of skill. Thank you so much wren. I’m so honored. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=799102313443113&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=1

I wore the Heart of Atnimera for many months. Before I continue, everyone should understand that Opals are a very Brittle stone in need of frequent oiling, a crack in an opal is common and I probably bear most of the blame for it cracking by not oiling it properly. I find no fault in the craftsmanship. The opal in the old Heart of Atnimera had broken. On a day when my heart likewise was broken, but that is another tale. Upon hearing my “other tale”. Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer  sat down at her MaeCody Gems & Jewels bench and crafted me this queenly pendant on a beautiful wire work chain.
The opal in the old Heart of Atnimera had broken. On a day when my heart likewise was broken. Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer sat down at her MaeCody Gems & Jewels bench and crafted me this queenly pendant on a beautiful wire work chain. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer in Denver, Colorado.

The opal in the old Heart of Atnimera had broken. On a day when my heart likewise was broken. Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer sat down at her MaeCody Gems & Jewels bench and crafted me this queenly pendant on a beautiful wire work chain. — with Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer in Denver, Colorado.

As soon as the replacement arrived,  I couldn’t help myself… I had to wear the new amulet right away… but a few days later…. I thought about the old and broken Heart of Atnimera… still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it.
I couldn't help myself... I had to wear the new amulet right away... but a few days later.... I thought about the old and broken heart of atnimera... still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it. Today I went and retreived the heart of atnimera and found a surprise... note the difference in the shades of opals... one is almost like amber dark under the copper. I squeeeled with delight when I found the opal had swollen aw little and the wire work had tightened around the stone meaning I could once again wear the heart of atnimera with pride

I couldn’t help myself… I had to wear the new amulet right away… but a few days later…. I thought about the old and broken heart of atnimera… still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it. Today I went and retreived the heart of atnimera and found a surprise… note the difference in the shades of opals… one is almost like amber dark under the copper. I squeeeled with delight when I found the opal had swollen aw little and the wire work had tightened around the stone meaning I could once again wear the heart of Atnimera with pride

I thought more and more about the old and broken Heart of Atnimera… still soaking in the massage oil in my sacred space where I left it. Today I went and retrieved the heart of Atnimera and found a surprise… note the difference in the shades of opals… one is almost like amber dark under the copper. I squealed with delight when I found the opal had swollen aw little and the wire work had tightened around the stone meaning I could once again wear the heart of Atnimera with pride

2014-11-20 11.46.50
2014-11-20 11.47.42

The Origin of The Heart of Atnimera

By: Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer


The life of this amulet is already set into it’s creation Breezy. As enchanting an unnamed creation is a bit tricky but worth the time. Your amulet has been carried with me every day, though all the muck and heavy emotions, through all the joys and trials of time spent with the Creator. She was there when I was joyful, she was there when I was in pain. She was there to listen, and soak up my hopes and dreams. She was there to capture the energies of the Triple Goddess to pass them on to a future with the one she was intended for. Intentions… Your name has been placed on each bend, each turn of the coil, and sets of three. Cleansed, smudged and anointed, I give this gift to you. Please give her a name so she might live.
Emerald Gemstone meaning
The emerald is the sacred stone of the goddess Venus. It was thought to preserve love, and has long been the symbol of hope. It is considered by many to be the stone of prophecy. The emerald acts as a tranquilizer for a troubled mind.
The emerald is said to bring the wearer reason and wisdom. The strongest time for the powers of the emerald is said to be spring Lucky for love, give your lover an emerald to stay faithful.
In several cultures the emerald was the symbol for fertilizing rain. In the Christian faith it is the symbol of faith and hope. Healing properties of Emerald
Emerald is used by healers to help heal the heart. The power of the Emerald is highest at the full moon.
Some cultures thought the emerald would heal any disease of the eye. The emerald would be placed in a container of water overnight and the water would be poured on the eyes the next day.
Emerald is a stone of great harmony, wisdom and love. Giving your lover an Emerald will bring the lover closer if the giver’s motives are pure love. The Emerald can be a bridge between 2 people. The Emerald vibrates with love. https://crystal-cure.com/emerald.html
Opal History, Lore and Properties
“Opal…Made up of the glories of the most precious gems, to describe it is a matter of inexpressible difficulty: there is in it the gentler fire of the Ruby, there is the brilliant purple of the Amethyst, there is the sea-green of the Emerald, all shining together in an incredible union. Some aim at rivaling in lustre the brightest azure…of the painter’s palette, others the flame of burning sulphur, or of a fire quickened by oil.” ~ Pliny the Elder
The name Opal is derived from the Sanskrit word “upala”, meaning “valuable stone”. This is believed to be the root word for the Greek term “opallios”, which translates as “color change”.
Opal is thought to have been discovered as long as 4,000 years ago, and myths and lore abound in practically all cultures about this brilliant gemstone. The ancient Greeks thought opal to be the tears of Zeus and prized it as highly as diamonds. They believed opal gave the gift of foresight and prophecy, which would ensure the owner’s success in war, business and life.
The legend of the Australian aborigine tells that opal is ‘creator’s footprint that touched the earth at the base of a rainbow to bring harmony’.
The ancient Romans wore opal as a symbol of hope and purity and believed it could cure illness. In ancient India, opal was referred to as the Goddess of the Rainbow, turned to stone. Ancient Arab cultures believed opal had fallen from the sky and that the play of color was trapped lightning. According to Arab lore, opal could make the wearer invisible. The ancient Australian aborigines, however, believed in a more sinister origin. They thought opal to be half serpent and half devil, and that the brightly colored fire within the stone was an attempt to lure them into the devil’s lair.
Opal has been thought to have healing powers in many world cultures, and in the middle ages, it became known as the Opthalmius, or Eye Stone, and was thought to strengthen eyesight. Blonde maidens wore opals to protect their hair from fading or darkening.
In the Middle Ages, Opal was considered a stone that could provide great luck because it was believed to possess all the virtues of each gemstone whose color was represented in the color spectrum of the opal.
Ethiopian Opal:
This stone is also known as the “Chocolate Opal” because of its chocolate color inside its nodule. Another Opal was discovered with very brilliant colors and mostly red and little blue (unlike those opals mined in Australia) and is called Ethiopian Fire Opal.
There is also Wello Opal which is mined in the high desert of Ethiopia. This is actually a combination of various kinds of opal which are mined in Wello, Ethiopia.
Good Ethiopian opals have diverse play of colors from Neon reds, oranges, green, blue, white, yellow, brown and a fire color. There are even colors that are not present in Australian opals like turquoise and indigos. Ethiopian fire opals are popular as they have striking pattern formations which make each opal so unique.
However, there has also been rumors and superstition about the Opal as being a stone of bad luck. At one point opal had became so popular and wanted that it began to rival the diamond in popularity, so the diamond merchants began spreading the rumor that opals brought bad luck to the wearer. It was quite effective, and even today, there are those who believe it is unlucky to buy or wear one unless it is your birthstone (October)
However, these superstitions of bad luck were not believed by all including the Queen Elizabeth II. She ensured that all her subjects knew that she did not believe in these rumors and superstitions. Throughout her reign, she wore opals herself and gave them to her daughters as gifts. The Queen’s efforts have been credited with helping opal shed its bad luck reputation and regain popularity with the public. http://crystal-cure.com/article-opal-history-properties.html
How to Enchant an Object
To “enchant” an object is to fill it with energy for a specific purpose. While there are all sorts of “ookey-spooky,” and dramatically ritualized methods of doing so, what it all basically boils down to is direct, programmed energy that has been gatherer and shaped by the will of the magician through deliberate visualization. What happens in the mind is a microcosm of what happens in the macrocosm of the physical world. This is what the phrase “As above, so below” means. What happens in the microcosm of our minds can be directly reflected in the macrocosm of the world outside the mind.
So to enchant an object, and there by change it into a talisman, all you need to do is concentrate on directing energy for a specific purpose and direct it into the object. In the case of being “invisible” what you would want to do is visualize yourself walking along in a swirl of concealing mist (this mist represents the energy you are gathering). In you mind, see people starting to look at the mist, only to have their gaze “slide” off, pulled to one side or drawn to something near you rather than focusing *on* you. When you have built a clear image of this in your mind then visualize the ring and see the swirling mist of energy being drawn into and stored within the ring.
When all of the mist has been drawn into the ring you’re done… maybe. At this point you can either “seal” the ring and be done with it, or you can add a “trigger” which will turn the power of the talisman on or off deliberately.
With the former, the power of the talisman will be constantly active and the only way to stop it will be to take it off and place it in a bag or something that has been specifically charged to block the activity of the ring.
With the latter, you install an on/off switch, basically. This can be either as set of spoken words of phrases (make sure it’s something easy to remember, but not so common as to be used in every-day speech: “shields up” and “shields down” works well) or you can use a simple visualization (when you want it to activate, visualize the mist leaving the ring and surrounding you, and when you want it to deactivate visualize the mist being pulled back into the ring.)
Creating the trigger takes a little more work on your part, but is usually well worth it as you can wear the ring at all times without worry. With the other method, you’ll have to deliberately put it on and take it off, which increases the risk of loosing it… and few things are harder to find that an invisibility talisman!
Now as for a protection ritual, I have and example of a personal protection ritual if that’s what you’re actually looking for at http://www.geocities.com/jkarrah/Protection.html
The ring we have been talking about in this example would be perfect to use as the “Personal item” that would be transformed into the talisman.
I would also like to point out that, while the ritual itself appears on the surface to be fairly elaborate, it could be easily adjusted. The cleansing of the ring can be done simply by running it under clear water while visualizing all unwanted energies being washed down the drain, the runes can be drawn on a piece of white paper using ink of your astrological color (if possible write them in a circular pattern the put the ring inside the rune circle), and then just do the chants.
The key to this or any sort of magic is that you have a clear, solid “image” of your intent… what it is you want to have happen. This is what it going to allow your subconscious to gather the energies you need and program them with your desired purpose. If you are uncertain as to *exactly* what it is you intend to accomplish then your results will be uncertain. You don’t have to know the exact mechanics of “how” the task should be accomplished (in fact, it’s usually best if you just set some basic parameters and let the universe take care of the details), but you do need to precisely know and understand the “what” and the “why.”
Also, with an item of jewelry being used as the talisman, it is possible to have the item professionally engraved. For our ring example, if the band is wide enough, you could take it and a straight-line rendition of the protection runes from the above ritual to a jeweler’s and ask if they could engrave those symbols onto the ring for you (do this *before* you perform the ritual).
*A talisman is an object that has been specifically charged to perform a specific function. Talismans are usually, but not always, man made. An amulet, on the other hand, is an object, usually of natural origin (i.e. crystals, stones, plants, *naturally shed* feathers, etc. which have certain “virtues” and magical properties as an inherent part of their existence.http://www.geocities.com/jkarrah/Enchantment.html
The Triple Goddess
The triple moon is a Goddess symbol that represents the Maiden, Mother, and Crone as the waxing, full, and waning moon. It is also associated with feminine energy, mystery and psychic abilities. You often see this symbol on crowns or other head-pieces, particularly worn by High Priestesses.
The Maiden represents enchantment, inception, expansion, the female principle, the promise of new beginnings, youth, excitement, and a carefree erotic aura. The Maiden in Greek Mythology is Persephone – purity – and a representation of new beginnings. Other maiden goddesses include: Brigid, Nimue, among others.
The Mother represents ripeness, fertility, fulfillment, stability, and power. The Mother Goddess in Greek mythology is Demeter, representing wellspring of life, giving and compassionate. Other mother goddesses include: Aa, Ambika, Ceres, Astarte, Lakshmi.
The Crone represents wisdom, repose, and compassion. The Crone in Greek mythology is Hecate – wise, knowing, a culmination of a lifetime of experience. Crone goddesses include: Hel, Maman Brigitte, Oya, Sedna, Skuld, and others.
Using natural and antiqued copper wire

 To learn more about Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer who created these lovely wire work pendants and has taken such care in charging them, please read

The Healing Tale of Wren

The Soul of the Godd(Esse)s

Y’all, this is not about pot, or politics. Unless you figure it that way. Hope you like it. It’s also from the El Paso County Jail. Copying from elsewhere seems always to do weird things to the formatting and i can’t seem to get the footnotes to work. If you want to dig in to that, you can get them here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y-4Trm1FZ1eCC5bbcijEBSniOU95SsMK_AWjti_Zu_M/edit?usp=sharing

Some points are best made acerbically.

I don’t know if this is one of them

But It Is Written

And there ya go.

So here ya go.

Friends, this is a thing about

Christianity.

And about God Gods and

Goddesses. I mean it in

Spirit and in Truth.

I consider that perhaps

“I am become Death,”

But Life as well.

Consider this and weep–

For Joy:

It’s All a                     Cry me a River

Metaphor                    and I’ll cry a River

for a Metaphor                                                 too.

for a Metaphor

for a Metaphor

For No Thing

Fear, that is reverence for God is that font from whence Wisdom derives. Or perhaps the threshold by which She enters one’s being. We know this cannot be “fear” as we imagine it such as anxiety over some worldly matter or a sudden shock to the system when some unexpected event takes place because “perfect love casteth out fear.” [1 Jn 4:18] In fact, we are…

  • Revere: to hold in great regard or religious respect
  • Reverence: veneration [L. venerari: worship]

counseled that we may be untroubled by “sudden fear” in Pr 3:25.

If God really is that angry, jealous, flaming Jonathan Edwards dykehead they warned me about at Agape Force, then to hell with him. Somewhere up in that collection of books and letters called “Bible” that Christians approach with such futility is the key to all this for me: “God is Love,” (“somewhere” being 1Jn 4:8, also). A very limited grasp of and tiny application of reason will show one that from this one can extrapolate: Love is God. I know so many more pagans that grasp this concept than Christians that it’s just stupid. Be that as it may, my vow is this: Whatever other gods may be running around loose in the world, the One that is Love is the One for me. If it turns out in the end that God is not Love, well then–fork God.

“[T]o love mercy and to walk humbly with my God[s]”
Note that in deference to weak spirits i have deleted the various “f-bombs” and such that ordinarily gild my work. Many of these lines are apt to be much funnier if you fill them in with your imagination. Or maybe not; this box may have fixed the troubling humor problem in spades.

Now, i don’t believe the darker potentiality here is true. My entire life has been flavored by a discomfort with Christianity, even when i embraced it in one of its most diseased and virulent forms, which trepidation has been based on a subthreshold sense of a paradox the Christians can’t seem to abandon.

I don’t mean to say that it’s impossible for Love to be angry, (which would render this piece a bit useless), but there exist many Christians–many–that are much like that angry bucker mentioned above. My dear friend Dave Reese, (whom i’ve not seen for some while, now…Hi, Dave!), once told me that he’d be happy to see a rigid theocracy in the United States, with pillories and stocks set up on the lawn at the Pioneer Museum, (housed in a severe old fortress-like invaders’ courthouse building in Colorado Springs, for you far-flung readers).

Now, Dave is not a raving lunatic or a constant irritant like many Christians. He’s a gentle, loving family man;  an actual pastor, and a thinking man influenced by crap in the Bible that seems to extol this sort of holy prickery as a virtue. Without even finding it necessary to dig around in “scripture” about the nature of God’s anger, i assert that the initial problem at hand is twofold. Christians in(forking)sist that the Bible is the Truth, the whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth. Bull(shorts). Secondly, Reason, as we understand Her, effective and useful though She may be, is not any better at providing a complete vision of What There Is than the Bible, nor is the Universe subject to Her demands, (again, as we grok). It is impossible for the hare to catch the turtle, after all.

OK, before we continue, let us first establish from your own assertions, dear Christian, that for the sake of discussion here, a priori as you always in(forking)sist, the modern Bible really does represent the sacrosanct and perfect Word of God: A Logos in its own right–the God-breathed eternal and incorruptible Word, as it has been explained to me by intelligent members of your own cult: Jesus, Written. We can defer to the “Authorized” version in case you are one of those sticklers, since i prefer its poetry anyhow.

With that foundation established and held firmly in mind, observe the breakdown to follow where it is amply demonstrated that the Old Testament of the Bible teaches very clearly that some tightly held Christian doctrines of the faith are based on drastic misinterpretation.

Pr 1:20 Wisdom crieth without;

she uttereth her voice in the streets:

21 she crieth in the chief place of concourse,

in the openings of the gates….
And what pray tell, does She cry?

Pr 1:7  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge….
But,
1Jn 4:8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Pr 1:21 [S]he crieth in the chief place of concourse,

in the openings of the gates: in the city she uttereth her words, saying,

22 How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity?

and the scorners delight in their scorning,

and fools hate knowledge?
1:23 Turn you at my [Wisdom’s] reproof:

behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you,

I will make known my words unto you.
Joel 2:27

And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed.     28 And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh….
Confirmed in NT: Acts 2:17 And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh….

Pr 1:24 Because I have called, and ye refused;

I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;
Jeremiah 35:17

therefore thus saith the Lord God of hosts, the God of Israel… “I have spoken unto them, but they have not heard; and I have called unto them, but they have not answered.”
Pr 2:6 For the Lord giveth wisdom:

out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.

*Observe at this point that “Wisdom” here is personified as both female and powerful. She possesses attributes and claims prerogatives reserved for God elsewhere in the Bible. The entire collection of Proverbs 1 through 15 is a conversation with Wisdom, Knowledge, and Understanding, with appearances by Discretion, Prudence, and others. These are both mingled and separated at various points in the text. The above verse shows at least Knowledge and Understanding as coming from God’s [The LORD; Tetragrammaton] mouth. That is, these are aspects of the word of God; an expression or embodiment of Logos, or at least some sort of Sister to the Son.

Pr 2:10 When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul….
We see around and about that this is the behavior of the Holy Spirit, which is called the spirit of Christ, and of Christ, the Logos, as well. Pay attention, now:
Col 2:2 …that their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
Romans 5:5

…and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

2 Corinthians 1:21-23

21 Now he which stablisheth us with you in Christ, and hath anointed us, is God; 22 who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts. [See also Pr 16:3].
Galatians 4:6

And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.
Ephesians 3:17

[T]hat Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith that ye, being rooted and grounded in love….
Colossians 3:16

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom….
Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. [This is interesting–what is discernment, really,  but the exercise of wisdom through understanding?].

Pr 2:11 Discretion shall preserve thee….
Proverbs 4:6

Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee.
Nehemiah 9:6

Thou, even thou, art Lord alone; thou hast made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth, and all things that are therein, the seas, and all that is therein, and thou preservest them all; and the host of heaven worshippeth thee.
Psalm 16:1

Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.

Psalm 121:7

The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
And later, in case there remains any uncertainty:
Pr 4:5-7

5 Get wisdom, get understanding:

forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.6 Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee:

love her, and she shall keep thee.

7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom:

and with all thy getting get understanding.
Pr 2:11

Understanding shall keep thee:
Exodus 23:20

Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way
Numbers 6:24

The Lord bless thee, and keep thee:
Isaiah 26:3

Thou [the LORD] wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
John 17:11

And now I [Jesus] am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.

2 Timothy 1:14

That good thing which was committed unto thee keep by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth in us.

Proverbs 3:5

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;

and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Note that this does not in any wise suggest that one ought to abandon understanding, which as is on display here in previous proverbs is the Goddess, the Holy Spirit, Whom will enter any soul that reveres God.
To clarify:

Proverbs 16

16 The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord.

2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.

3 Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.

Proverbs 4 is so entirely loaded with the Goddesses Wisdom and Understanding, and the rewards of Her [their] pursuit that it verily stands alone in this deliberation. It seems the principal thing, though, is, well, the principal thing.
Pr 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
The attentive reader of scripture will no doubt wonder just how anything can be the principal thing, named with a feminine pronoun, other than the Goddess, both equal and One with any other aspect of Godhead. This entire chapter, with its promises of exaltation and crowns of grace and glory could well have fallen within the New Testament. If not for the Goddesses.

This is classic:
Pr 4:13 Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go:

keep her; for she is thy life.
Acts 17:28 …for in him [God] we live, and move, and have our being….

Pr 7:4 Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman:

5 that they may keep thee….
This may be read in light of Ro 8:15:
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

Pr 8 is intriguing because of the interaction of pronouns. Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, and Prudence are each named separately, yet referenced collectively by singular, feminine pronouns. 8:5 reads:
“O ye simple, understand wisdom: and, ye fools, be ye of an understanding heart,” a bit of mingling that further shades the relationship between and among these decisively feminine personifications. Webster, in the cheezy, junior-high school dictionary they provide us at the El Paso County Jail, uses these various words to define each the other, with various shades between them. For example, “prudence” is the cautious application of wisdom and discretion with an eye toward future outcomes.
Perhaps even more telling for the purposes of this particular conversation is the bit between vv. 22 and 30:
22 The Lord possessed me [Wisdom] in the beginning of his way,

before his works of old.

23 I was set up from everlasting,

from the beginning, or ever the earth was.

24 When there were no depths, I was brought forth;

when there were no fountains abounding with water.

25 Before the mountains were settled,

before the hills was I brought forth:

26 while as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields,

nor the highest part of the dust of the world.

27 When he prepared the heavens, I was there:

when he set a compass upon the face of the depth:

28 when he established the clouds above:

when he strengthened the fountains of the deep:

29 when he gave to the sea his decree,

that the waters should not pass his commandment:

when he appointed the foundations of the earth:

30 then I was by him, as one brought up with him:

and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him….
Any honest Bible reader will no doubt recognize the similarities this passage bears with the first few chapters of John’s gospel when describing Jesus as Logos. This, one expects, will either tear the scales from his eyes, or cause his head to explode like Michael Ironside in Scanners is after him with a vengeance.

Pr 9:10

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom:

and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
And 10:13

In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found….
And so on and so on, to an extent that these appear overall to be inextricably linked, like twins, but remaining in some sense separate and not causative, either of the other, per se. That is, they are a package and neither is primary to the other, just like the so-called Trinity is described.

These passages are so loaded with the feminine aspects of Godhead, associated with traits that are quite specific to later proclamations concerning God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit that this short treatment by no means exhausts all the ramifications that develop. I think it’s quite enough for this bit of palaver, though, don’t you? And i haven’t even mentioned Asherah, yet.

We see here that:

  1. There are Goddesses afoot.
  2. At least one of them is Jesus’s sister, or possibly Jesus h(er)imself, as though (s)he were a hermaphrodite or something.
  3. That Christianity, from its mainstream to its headwaters, (excepting rare Gnostic sects), and not just individual bungholes within Christendom, is fundamentally, doctrinally, institutionally wrong, wrong, freaking wrongity, wrong, wrong,  wrong,all the zippity-do-dah-day long.
  4. That almost very nearly all you Christians should repent immediately and start loving everyone, unconditionally, quickly, before the short time we have left runs out.

What all this does is to prove, define, refine, and clarify what I’ve been saying rather less succinctly for some time: That the Bible does not say what Christians say it says, at least not alone; that it is most assuredly not what y’all say it is; and that large swaths of your schtick is fracking evil. I have been nagged by doubts all the while–concerns about my own salvation, really. What if i favor these arguments and perspectives simply because i don’t like to follow the law? What if i’m serving my own flesh? Sometimes these concerns have tendrils of root meandering into truth, as well. But no! This revelation from God(dess)(es) clinches it all. I am not crazy; you are!

I am reborn yet again! Set free by Truth! A child of God for real, which God is no bolt-wielding funknode, but more a Father than i am to ;my own children, and a damn fine Mother, to boot. And more still; brother to my sister the Goddess whom i have always sought, though i knew it not. Abba, Father! Aima, Mother!

I don’t know what to make of this turn of events, exactly. I’m pretty sure, (but not sure at all), that the tide of Christendom will not shift at the word of a stoned house-painter, a repeated failure at business and marriage and the mechanics of living in general; in many eyes a flippiting criminal; but there it is. Come at me. My Siblings the Gods and Goddesses of the Ages, of all Creation and of Whatever There Is Above and Beyond, have my back all day, all night. Argue. Fight. Imprison. Kill. Fick it! You can’t win this; it’s not me.
On the other hand, you could abandon your miserable fight. Come on! Jump in! The Living Water is great!

Holmes Sweet Holmes

So we’ve all been very busy and i haven’t had much time for producing new stuff, lately. Hopefully that will change soon, but maybe not so much for a month or so. This is a short bit from just prior to the establishment of the Occupy encampment in Colorado Springs at which i was arrested for camping. The rest of that story is diffused throughout the stuff i’ve written over the past three years, and in various court docs. This is really just more context, and some history. Funny to note my anticipation of a big deal on Wall Street, which came before the Colorado Springs camp, or even the Boston or Oakland camps, for instance.

This is just a short one, but i’ll try and get another up before we’re out of town for a few weeks of community-building in far-flung states.

Holmes Sweet Holmes

20 September 2011

For NMania1: Thanks for the Voice

And for Bob Holmes: I love you Bob, I swear. But you deserve this.

Don’t feel too sad–I deserve much worse.

Way back in May of this year, I promised this to a guy who “sold” me a free newspaper in Denver for a $1 suggested donation. He said he was a writer for the same paper, which addresses issues surrounding homelessness in the same city. He was interested in the state of those affairs in Colorado Springs, where I live, and, given that I’ve been in the free food biz for 26 years, and that I have, in fact been homeless myself, I had to think I was in a unique position to afford some perspective. I also posted an, (untitled ), bit on the same topic clear back on 12 April of 2010, wherein I promised a follow-up. Things have worked around to a moment where changes have taken place in both the homeless community of our town and in my schedule that render ripe the moment. A year and a half ago, I described a little of the circus-like scene in our town surrounding the homeless campers. Here’ a bit more flesh, spiced with perhaps a bit more vinegar. Don’t get all touchy, now.

Colorado Springs has always been pretty friendly to street-runners, at least since 1984 when I got here. I got to know my way around when I hit town as a 20 year old apprentice electrician and found work for the–ahem–generous wage of  $6.00 an hour. Within a year, I had fallen in with some folks at Calvary Chapel downtown in the same building occupied by our town’s token “liberal” free paper now. We gave away sandwiches and such, among some other more ideologically driven activities. I’ve been in on this little pastime of mine in one capacity or another ever since, from various angles, and with variable motivation. (Spiritual vagaries aside, nothing is ever about just one thing). What I mean to point out is that I have been around long enough to have a little feel for the pulse of the thing, nothing more.

When I’d written about all this earlier in the orphaned posting noted above I mentioned some stuff I’ll not mention again, since you can go to that one to see, easily enough: http://hipgnosis21.blogspot.com/2010/04/so-colorado-springs-is-unusual-place-it.html . This follow up addresses the biggie. That’s right IT HASN’T WORKED.

I’m no prophet. God has yet to send me any memos. All I did earlier was interpret the writing on the wall that was there for anyone to see, in big scrawling, blocky letters. I think anyone looking could read them clearly enough, including Bob Holmes, if he hadn’t been in his customary, red-faced, squinty-eyed, self-imposed insensate condition. That doesn’t count for an honest mistake, Bob!

Now, here’s a little secret–sshhh! The camps are back. I can’t speak for the general level of brain power amongst drunken, whacked out homeless guys, but even the blankest screen among my favorite crowd has developed an ingrained self-preservatory wiliness. So you won’t see them sprawled along the highway like a middle class Somali neighborhood, like before. And I’m not gonna tell you where they are. The cops simply must know already, and my friends don’t need another three-ring fiasco. But, truckloads of enabling aside–I freakin’ told you, Bob!

I have an absolutely gigantic boatload of my own, patented bool-shyte to sling about all this, (imagine that), but here’s a little teaser before I have to go actually do something this morning. At this moment of extreme sensitivity to initial conditions, (watch Wall street, now, y’all), we really ought to notice the shit we’ve been up to all these, say 10,000 years, isn’t working. Let’s switch to a genuinely loving thing.

Buon compleanno ad una nuova Rivoluzione. Viva l’Esercito dell’Amore!

Stage Magick

Stage Magick

Friday, 16 September, 2011

For Bruce McCluggage

Had some words with my friend Bruce yesterday–OK, lots of words. In fact, the Spirit moved me, so I was blasting words all over the place like that guy from the X Men, only with a gag instead of a visor. All the way toward the end of much conversatin’–and yes, Bruce held his end respectably in the face of my torrent–we came to a summation.

The idea is already on the pages here so it’s important and needing some flesh, but it’s also very simple. We all know we can’t prove a negative. Any third grade philosopher know this as an unshakable verity, right? So who will step up to prove that? No one, that’s who–we can’t do it, and mind you, I don’t hearsee that term coming from myself often. I’ll beat my kids senseless if I hear them using it. (Hi kids! Molto amore!). Hell the notion is generational. My totally outstanding 95 year old Granddad banned the word from his brood’s vocabulary, and he started his family during the Great Depression. But we can’t, and we know we can’t.

We can’t even prove that we can’t prove that we can’t prove a negative. We can add layers to our investigation to Eternity, and never can we prove a negative. And yet we know that we know that we know (&c.) that we can’t do it. What the Heellll!!? This is why: Reason breaks down at a point between proving and knowing right here for us to examine like a fascinating diamond, cut in some diabolically ingenious fashion to as to hide its facets from us like a tesseract or something. There’s math that explains this pretty succinctly. Look up Kurt Gödel‘s Incompleteness Theorem, (here’s a good start http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/goedel/). Gödel, [whose name I’ll be disrespecting til I figure out how to add an umlaut on this thing, (HA!)], wrote a bunch of High Math, way beyond my capacity, that shows us when reduced to terms even I can grok, that any closed system can never possibly contain all the tools necessary to fully describe itself. With me so far?

This shows us another Eternal Verity: Truth transcends Proof; and further–our ability to know does the same. Now, Bruce is a philosopher, and kind of a Christian, so this sort of shit doesn’t bother him like it may the Scientific Determinists that read this. What we are gazing upon, through the lens of our little diamond, is an example of our ability to “jump out of the system”, and view it from outside, in some manner as indescribable as how we can know there’s no proving a negative. (Apologies to Doug Hofstadter for abusing an idea I came across in Gödel, Escher, Bach. I’m about to depart from his comfort zone, I think. He did, give him mucho credit, respectably describe the idea within the closed system of those pages). This is an ability we share with God. This, I think, is at least in part why some tidbit of western scripture says, “Ye are gods,” (Psalm 82, for you skeptics; read it all and get some context before attempting to argue, please).

This whole line of thought is closely associated with the Ontological Argument as proof of God, if not fully dependent upon it, (http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/ontological-arguments/). For the uninitiated, this is a supremely brilliant bit of philosophical tomfoolery that attempts to prove the existence of God by reason alone, in an orderly procession of thought utterly divorced from empirical evidence. If anyone would care to take it on, I’d love–no LOVE–to see a genuine debunking. It’s very slippery indeed, and feels for all the world like a stage magician pulling infinite decks of cards from his sleeves. But it’s irrefutable, in my stupid little mind. It jumps the system.

I’ll readdress the crap we’ve mulled over here, but this is good. Put simply–arithmetically, one might say–1) We can’t prove a negative; 2) We know this; 3) Truth is superior to proof; 4) We are therefore superior to the closed system of All-There-Is;5) Only god is thus; 6) We are gods. (Yes, I took a leap there at step 6. I only have so much attention span. Roll wit’ it for now, OK? It’s in the Ontological Argument if you feel like getting ahead of me). This is arithmetical, yes, and handily sums up my points from yesterday, Bruce and friends. But, as you’ve seen by now I guess, that doesn’t mean one can’t do a bit of Algebra, Trig, or (Meta)Physics with it.

***

Jeez, I hope you all enjoyed that. Please don’t burn me at the stake yet. There’s more. It’ll take a while to work around the mess of toroidal thinking here. See Bruce–I didn’t forget that part. I’m only human, even if we are all gods. Bear in mind all, that Nothing here is any more valuable than the opinion of one idiot house painter. And any of you who have read the stuff before this will know already: It’s all a bunch of bullshit.

The Next One

The Next One

 

 

The next one is a letter to my dad. You don’t get to read it now. Gimme a minute.

Also Done With Mirrors

Friday, August 1, 2014

Also Done With Mirrors

Also Done With Mirrors

From The El Paso County Jail

hipgnosis_fractal

June 2014

In jail now for contempt of court, i can only hope that i will not be punished for thought, given my intent with this piece more or less to publicly scorn the same court and many of its agents represented here at the misnamed Criminal Justice Center of El Paso County. I will concentrate on this local example for specifics because of intimacy, but recent news and broad history supports my encouragement to the reader that (s)he extrapolate freely.

I’d almost rather sleep than pace around here like a tyger in a fucking zoo, but i am as i have been formed. I really don’t think you fuckers can make me sleep without some kind of assault. It’s possible a dispassionate observer might develop the notion that you can piss me off, so to speak, that you can make me blow my Zen, but no–that was i, and i’m over it already.

Here at the El Paso County Jail, called the “Criminal Justice Center,” uniforms abound and each, of course, conveys a message. All the prisoners are color coded. The deps and “specialists’ and nurses and “contractors” are all of a feather, some with fancier tails as it were, expressive of assorted specifics. Variation is for the most part strictly verboten, (sorry to misuse the language for such a purpose, T. You know what i mean.)

Prisoners are separated by severity of “crime,” degree of danger to self or others, and some by a certain degree of “privilege” (these are called “trusty”). Deputies are generally demarcated according to “authority.” Some have little shoulder insignia indicating rank, “honors,” or extreme pathology. “Civilians” in various “house nig…um…servant,” (ahem), positions bear yet further uniform garb, while certain haughty nabobs glide around in suits carrying clipboards, heads high, presumably to be the more able to reach the rarefied air that must sustain them with their pinched aquiline nostrils.

With irony that may or may not be intentional on someone or something’s part, the same uniforms described as so expressive also squelch some communication, which would be quite freely broadcast in ordinary circles. Certainly “club” colors are vigorously banned. Stuff like those placeholders for my ears. Some shit slips by: Many Department of Corrections guys, (prisoners), are recognizable by  “penitentiary” labels on personal clothing. Haircuts, though highly imperfect at clarity, often show fondness for  a martial life. The richest bearers of information of all apart from coded wristbands we wear under a pretty fair degree of duress are tattoos, freely and openly displayed by all but the besuited clipboard crowd.

The deputies have prevented me from wearing the little protective posts made of comb teeth i put in my ears, meant to keep the piercings from closing, as an experiment in boundaries, and as an expression of my identity; a bit of communication through appearance; silent aesthetic vocalization. One pleasant deputy said to me with great concern and chagrin in both his voice and his eyes, “Oh, no! This is terrible!” I asked him about his concern and he played it off as a joke; “Sarcasm.” But to me, “this”–that is, a bit of aesthetic experimentation that serves to announce my separation  from a society i find abhorrent–is a marvelous thing, rich in multifaceted, radiating, information-bearing emanations. We all do these things, and some of us then wonder why we are rejected by those for whom we define ourselves as Other by those choices of appearance we make of our own volition.

No one can do anything about skin color, for example, and we ought not make assessments about human beings that are based on unchangeables like that, but we do anyhow. And life probably works out to support those assessments. Whether the differences are real or not, when two segments of society conspire to call one another’s members hateful names, like “nigger,” or “cracker,” or “Palestinian,” or “Jew,” the intonation of Otherness establishes a state of polarity where the prophecies inherent in the expression all become true, eventually. That’s pretty crazy in itself. At The El Paso County Jail the most desperate of prisoners–the mixed-color-teal-and-yellow crowd–are garbed thusly so that they are easily recognizable as homicidal-suicidal. They seem to live a miserable existence, isolated from everyone because of mutual fear, from which font their own dreaded behavior springs. The nurses in the medical unit where many of these saddest of souls reside sometimes and apart from regulation wear colors so similar that i have been startled by the spectacle of those shades in unexpected places. But i have had conversations with EPCO jail employees that went something like, “You should find something to do that doesn’t eat your soul.” “Oh, I’m fine–I get home and just forgetaboutit. Turn it off,” with a motion like flipping a switch. “Do you really think partitioning your personality–your life–your Self–to that degree so you won’t flip out is healthy!!? Isn’t that exactly how ‘multiples’ work things?” So just who are the crazy ones?

Division by zero.

One deputy said to me, “Sixty to seventy percent of the cops in this town are just doing their jobs.” This is so multi-dimensionally wrong: Only a mental pathology allows a guy to perpetrate violence against an unwilling subject for a mundane paycheck that is derived in part from money confiscated from that very person being so victimized. This is deeply parasitic and also pretty fucking stupid in that biologically, the most successful parasite is one that works a symbiotic relationship with its host. The relationship of our government, (and virtually all governments), to its host our society is now and will soon prove to be catastrophically vitacidal. Meanwhile, what are the other forty percent doing? My estimation figures the best part of this minority is enjoying  the sanction of the same gullible society to be violent for pay and false “honor.” Some of these two groups are actually deluded to imagine they are helping people.

“Can’t break the rules just doin’ my job nothin’ personal behind that blow to the head gotta paycheck to collect gotta family to feed….”

Assuredly history’s most spectacularly egregious crimes, and lest any reader seeks to comfort himself with false abstraction, those of this very day, this very moment, have always been committed beneath the false flag of “The Rules.”

I’ve heard it said in the context of “appearances” that the men and women of “Gateway” “represent El Paso County,” so that they are not permitted to wear a Mohawk, (or i suppose, bits of comb in their ears). Now, be alert that i am not a Gateway man, exactly, but i am here because of appearances, at least in part. To be clear, i don’t represent El Paso County, by any means and i give but the merest of fucks for appearances. I represent some higher Thing, and not by my choice at all; but having been chosen for this  i serve my purpose while Judge Williams serves his. We are what we are, and what each of us represents is so far beyond El Paso County that i can’t see its apex from here and i suspect that Judge Williams has scarcely even apprehended its Its truth, having heard of these things only in forgotten dreams. I hope you aren’t hurt, dear Judge; these lots of ours are assigned, not chosen.

I certainly never meant to  cause you harm, or even pain, though i can’t deny i have been quite angry; far more at your system than at you, personally. It’s up to you how much grief will be in this for you, but: Fear not, sir; for as i have said, this is all perfectly safe, And again: We are in this together. All of us. Like it or not.

*Submitted with respect to those EPCO Schindlers who struggle daily to avoid division by zero. And i’ll have to talk more about Gateway, later.

Willie and Waylon and Some Other Guy: A story about weed, marriage, and Texas tall tales. Part I

I threatened someone that asked that i might post up some old backstory of mine here on Kiefair.com. Breezy encourages me, so this is that. I’ll post more, along with new. Thanks!

15 September, 2011

Willie and Waylon and Some Other Guy: A story about weed, marriage, and Texas tall tales.

Part I

I like telling the story of the time we went to Telluride with my brother David to catch the Bluegrass Festival there. Dave is a pretty dang famous fiddler, and this happened 13 or 14 years ago when his Freight Hoppers were riding a crest, having two then current Billboard Top 10 Americana list releases on Rounder, (Rounder is pretty much a ripoff for them, but that’s for another time).  The Freight Hoppers were hot in Colorado, and their set would draw some 30, 000 festival-goers, with a respectable bevy of hairy Deadheads looking for an outlet following Jerry’s departure bouncing , flouncing and working their little Tai Chi dance up at the stage. Lots of really notable musicians liked The Hoppers, too, and still do, actually.

Anyhow, we would meet up with Dave and the band at the festivals after winding through a long cattle-line setup, to get to the will-call desk and pick up our magic-rainbow all-access wristbands and hang out all weekend with all these niche-famous musicians, eating, drinking, being merry, smoking, and playing music together. That shit is great!

So one day we’re back stage chillin’ with Tony Furtado, (hi Tony—rock on!), and someone goes, “Is that Johnny Cash?” and sure enough, The Highwaymen had showed up to play an unscheduled set. We never made it away from whatever we were doing at the time to see them play, but not long later, as if they had come for no other purpose, Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson show up looking for my brother to tell him how much they dig his music. How cool is that!? Well, we all got to jawin’, and knowing a little about Willie I pulled a little fairly decent weed out of my pocket  and offered it, but Willie said, “Oh, no thanks, son, put that away,” and busted out some G13 mutant weed or something, and sparked the stoniest joint I’ve ever smoked in my life, to this very day. What a day!

Now, Willie has always been a hero of mine. His heroes have always been cowboys, he says; mine have always been outlaws, and I always figured Willie for a true outlaw, to the core. I mean the guy runs for president on a platform built of pot smoke, with Ani DiFranco as his running mate. Go Willie! That’s why some things he’s said lately trouble me. I’ll get to that in a minute but the first order of business here is to retell that story one more time, (not that I won’t tell it again—it’s a great staple of mine at parties and such), and to let you in on a secret: It’s all bullshit! It never happened!

***

I am a teller of tall tales, a spinner of yarns, a slinger of bool-shyte. That’s what I do. I’m gonna do some now, here; it’s my schtick, and folks who know me will instantly recognize some of the regular phraseology of my everyday standup, right here on the page. Hi Tim! Hi kids! Hi Willie! Some will recognize little inside tidbits and feel special. They’ll pick out my little eddies and anticipate how I circle back around myself. Hell, if you’re reading you might just as well go ahead and start feeling all conspiratorial and special right now. I mean, this is certainly not USA Today. You can pretty much count on being in an exclusive number by this count.

So if this is a bit of improv by a bullshit artist, how do you know this isn’t all bullshit right now? I’ll let you in on another secret: it is! That’s right—it’s the Lying Cretin. Everything I say is a lie. The Lie is truer than the Truth. Willie and I will be burning one in Austin when I make it down that way in a few months and we’ll laaaugh and laugh about this whole thing, because he gets it, you know:

               This statement does not belong in the set of all true statements.

Wrap your head around that a spell. It can’t be done. And no side-winding tap-dance involving imaginary words like”pseudo-statement” allowed, either. This is True Lies. It’s a breakdown in reason, a blind spot in our panoramic window to Reality like that thing with the dots you learned in elementary school. You can not manipulate the notions here to fit your mind, though you may, just maybe, be able to manipulate your mind to fit the notions. OK, so I’ll admit we can’t prove the magick here, and maybe someday some mathematician will build a technical ladder up and out of Gödel’s pit, but, we can’t prove a negative, right? But let’s see ya prove that. And now follow it back to the beginning of this paragraph, the beginning of this rant, the beginning of everything you’ve ever read, heard, saw, sensed felt.

And, lo and behold, you find yourself “poised on the wave of explicit Presence, the clockless Nowever.”

But don’t forget what kinda bullshit you’re reading.

(Don’t miss Part 2)!

House of Mirrors

From the El Paso County Jail. There may be glitches while i learn WordPress. http://hipgnosis21.blogspot.com/2014/07/of-mirrors-june-2014-el-paso-county.html

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23, 2014

House of Mirrors

House of Mirrors

26 June 2014

El Paso County Jail

Don’t freak out now, anyone. I’m still out of jail, pending appeal, as of today, 23 July 2014.

Sorry, no footnotes in the blogger. You can get them here
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1umk-RPyxoiQTPSS84Cp4sR80UAXFzsVRpuiRBVzrdNA/edit?usp=sharing

Pogo couldn’t have known the heft and resonance of his words: “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

I wrote a screed a while back, (Today’s Tom Sawyer), excoriating shitty Christian behavior. There’s still plenty to say about all that, and maybe some of it will come out here, but it’s not the point of this one. During that earlier rant, i promised to harp, eventually, about bad behavior on the part of pagans, dope fiends, felons, bikers, disgruntled employees, GIs, vets, and some of my other natural affinity groups as well.

That isn’t it either. Or maybe it is. But not really. Not quite. I promised to write about the Fear, too, and nor is it that, though the Fear runs through it all. This is about a war.

Many members of of various of the groups on that funny little list i jotted just now recognize and will now openly state that there’s a war looming. They’re wrong about that much anyhow–the looming is all done and the fight is on. Right now. It’s been on for decades, (or maybe forever). I’m here “jotting” because that’s what one does in the county jail, where i am a political prisoner–a POW, really, though i prefer to think of myself as a prisoner of conscience–but maybe it’s a digression to say so. Or maybe not. Let’s explore this amalgam of notions a bit, and see if we can find out.

Here at the county jail one finds a  peculiarly refined microcosm of the way the dynamics of the variously conflicting groups involved in this bizarre  war interact, cleared of much of the dross of false civility that ordinarily circumvents the fight out on the sidewalk, at least here in the U.S.A.

I know Europeans here that want to skedaddle from this place and others afraid to come here because many of them can see the shitstorm brewing and it scares them. They often seem to see it more clearly than we Americans are able to do at least in part because our access to real news is barely over nil, of maybe because as outside observers they aren’t saddled with the cognitive dissonance we sorry brainwashed frogs that live in this hot-ass boiling lake must so often suffer. I don’t know. I hope they realize this pond holds us all.

Oddly enough, while the interactions at the county jail display some of the finer points of conflict in out absurdly labeled free society, they also show some reasons for hope. There are still lights burning.

“Fuck the Police!”

I don’t know how many times i’ve heard that phrase from some of my dearest friends. I’ve uttered them myself. Often. Sometimes at the top of my lungs. Sometimes it was far more personal: “Fuck you! That’s right, you, personally, whomever you may be in your opposition to me, my pursuits, my people. Maybe i should refer to the less common; “Fuck the Pigs,’ because the police are only a fractional representation of one segment, one camp of that particular overarching social entity the hippies were talking about when they began to disparage swine so badly as to label their opposition thusly in this odd existential war from whence the flesh and blood scrap derives.

“Battle lines are being drawn,” went the line from the Buffalo Springfield some fifty-ish years back. They’re pretty well drawn, now, though they resemble lines a three-year-old might scribble. The shit’s on. People are fighting. The skirmishes often feel like some kind of kids’ game though too, involving blindfolds and billyclubs. Maybe i can’t deny swinging a stick around myself, sometimes. Maybe that’swhat this is–a chance for me to look in the mirror a little, Maybe it’s because it’s hard to sit the game out when i keep getting hit in the head. Whatever. Let’s keep on through the maze and just hope we don’t smash too many mirrors.

During the Occupation we intrepids staged a few years back, (and some of us still engage–viva la revolución and all), my son and i traveled to Denver for the final push when the cops razed the encampment there. The scene that October of 2011 there in Denver was some shit this country hadn’t seen in over forty years maybe, where armored brigades of soldiers–not cops at all but stormtroopers–rolled on a huge, disparate group of unarmed citizens. It was tragic. And beautiful. Versions of the same scene played out all around the world that fall.

There at Civic Center Park, across the avenue from the State Capitol building, the Boy and i stood in the thick of it as those battle lines sharpened, and then blew apart as the whole outhouse hit the fan.

Some thousands of us had marched boisterously through Denver’s business district, pausing for a special visit at the Federal Reserve. After completing a wide loop around downtown we mounted the Capitol steps for whatever confrontation the Denver planners had planned. They, (to claim a thing–we), had been warned explicitly beforehand to stay off that particular edifice, so the moment we took the steps and began railing through one of our ubiquitous bullhorns, the shock teams appeared, as if the bearded-Spock Enterprise had beamed them to the scene.

Honestly, i was pretty fucking nervous at that point. It’s not as though i’d never been beaten up by the cops before, but that stuff is kind of a young man’s sport, and i was never really all that much a fan anyhow. Besides, those had always been cops, not armored sci-fi gladiators. But the main thing was the Boy. He was fifteen then and down for plenty, but he looked pretty worried too, and, (the mainthing, actually), i knew i’d never live through my next conversation with his mother if i allowed him to be beaten and busted by the police. I suggested we pull back to the park and we did, but i felt pretty spineless for having done it, really.

The Boy and i had a quick consult: “You see what this is going to be, right?” “Yeah.” “Are you down, or not?” Nervous but firm, “Yeah.” “Fuck it then…God damn it; your mom is gonna kill me. Let’s get some lunch.”

The park itself  was packed with crowds of Occupiers, some having returned with us from the march and probably harboring thoughts similar to mine. The encampment had been there for a good while by then, and the Black Flag Anarchists’ Free Kitchen was in full flight. It had already been dismantled more than once as a special preparatory project for the cops–kind of a warm-up. Knowing well what was coming, the no-nonsense scrappy men’n’women in black behind the table were all assholes with elbows, flying around in a frenzy with grim serious joy in their eyes as they did their level best to sling as much great tasting free food as possible before the inevitable hammer fell. Those guys were freaking awesome sauce with motherfuckin’ cherries on top!

Rather than spark an actual and possibly justifiable war on the Capitol steps, even the most radical and adrenaline-blinded of the group holding that position chose to retreat and quickly joined us at the park. The scene was oddly festive, with tents and art projects and folks dressed for carnival. The mid-autumn day was one of those beautiful Colorado Indian summer affairs with pristine blue skies through which flitted happy and blissfully oblivious birdies merrily on the lookout for delectable kitchen scraps. But wait! What the hey!!? The second the steps were abandoned and that contingent joined those meeker souls at the park, the rest of the cops in the danged known universe materialized in a huff and began setting up for some sort of paramilitary invasion. No shit–we all saw pretty quickly what the Denver PD had in mind for all those fun military vehicles and equipment they’d been collecting.

The scene changed dramatically there on the sidewalk where the Anarchists’ Kitchen was set up. There was plenty of action before then, but the top-gun radicals had been at the Capitol along with most of the cops. Now a phalanx quickly formed four deep with armored, shielded, armed, dangerous, implacable, and apparently stoically unflappable police stretching all around, up and down–all over the fucking place. Where the Boy and i stood a few sidewalk squares south of the Kitchen the scene was still like a carnival spreading away and outward into the park in every direction save the east, buy more like something Ray Bradbury or John Clifford might have dreamt up. Moving east to west one would have passed through four rows of cops in a formation that i’d only seen before in movies about Fascist  takeovers where American patriots saved the day by vanquishing some identically clad and positioned foe as we occupiers faced that day, armored only with our damn-the-torpedoes ethical certitude. Stepping by the entrenched police if one were to dare it, one would have passed a modest tree lawn, an ordinary sidewalk crowded with dark festival-goers, and could then step up to the folding table that served as the Anarchists’ ordering counter and serving table set up facing east from the immediate western line of the sidewalk across from the antiMayberry lines facing the stubbornly unaltered scene in the Kitchen.

The cops just stood there for what seems to memory like hours, but it couldn’t have been all afternoon or anything. Maybe so. The Boy and i milled around a bit getting a look at the overall scene and scoping out the various sections of the park. Behind the Kitchen to the west were the bulk of the tents, say a hundred or more, though others were scattered about. Further  west a concrete round with maybe a fountain or something hosted a bunch of info tables, some artsy hippies working on various projects, a triage setup, some chanting Hare Krishnas. More cops surrounded the camp, even more moved to close off the farthest reaches of the west side, We all saw we were utterly circumscribed and our physical position was hopeless. There was plenty of Hope, mind you, but all of it founded on our spiritual position, see.

As we awaited  what everyone knew to be inexorable, not so many of us remained quiet, (by “us” i mean Occupiers here; the most visible government employees were silent). I did mostly, and so did the Boy, he for his reasons and i for mine. The whole scene produced its own racket, but the most noticeable volume arose from the collection of spirit-moved Occupiers working the lines of eerily insensate gendarmes. Each was moved by his or her own personal spirit, few of which were very friendly toward the collective juggernaut we faced. More than one strode frenetically up and down whichever line was convenient  hurling f-bombs and spittle with as much force as he could muster. You know: “Fuck the Police!!!” and,“Fuck Yoooou!!!” from distances as close as the collected officers’ gear would allow. The pointillistic rows of cops, each in his own world, stared into space, eyes forward and directed at some Unknown, refusing eye contact. Only God and each man in his solitude knew what blackness filled his vision, (and possibly anyone operating one of those guv’mint mind-reading gizmos, if you’re into that sort of thinking).

Sensibly, few of the “non-violent” protesters were mad–that is crazy–enough to attempt to get physical. Those that did were promptly stomped, smashed and removed from the game. Otherwise with many pushing the envelope right to its most extreme limit, the arms-down-and-rigid-face forward-inches-from-any-nearest-random-cop’s-shielded-face stance of extreme and barely checked agitation rapidly became familiar. I for one was amazed at the extraordinary and rather creepy restraint the beleaguered police were displaying, though few shield-screened eyes could keep from betraying internal turmoil. Virtually none of the cops would assent to eye contact.

As this scene played itself out, a few Occupiers attempted to convince their fellows to mellow. In the midst of the very front and most electrical line of all this, there in front of the aforementioned Kitchen, one lone Occupier was working the line of gear-laden men, moved by a different spirit indeed. He was preaching it, baby. Pleading. Begging. Beseeching. As near to tears as i am now as this scene spills its way from my fingertips, fluid in his expressive motion to and fro as any practiced Sunday morning crowd-pleaser can i get a amen. “Don’t you see it? You are us! We are you! Please, stop this! We are one–we must stop fighting!” And in some brilliant, divinely inspired voice, “Lay down your shields! Join us! Put down your clubs and have some lunch!”

And then …right there in front of the Boy and me…with the scene in the actual Kitchen production area behind the table unchanged from before the lines formed…one of them did exactly that.

There was actually a fat queue at the Kitchen counter that parted like the Red Sea, astonished, for this newborn brother of ours to step up and claim his serving. He ate his food in silence and retook his spot in that other line which remained unaltered as his fellows stood unmoved, apparently in both senses. The Boy and i collected our portion of genuinely bomb-ass risotto and began to  eat with more on our minds than i can possibly describe. Before we were half through our plates the order came and we found ourselves dining amidst a police riot, our rice flavored by tear gas. (I got off the hook before, when the story remained vague. I suppose his mom is going to kill me now, after all).

The rest of the action went down as one would expect, with ample blood, outrage, and pepper-bullet injury and indignity and tears and drama. It was all on the news, with much expansion available on YouTube. You can look it up. None of that is the point.

I heard that one cop was fired perfunctorily that night.

We were there. Right fucking there. It really happened. It was so surreal i almost have to ask the Boy if it actually wasn’t some kind of dream.

Those two guys, though. That cop! When we all do what he did, just maybe then the war will be over. He looked up  and noticed he was looking in the fucking mirror.

The thing about all this is that the crowd of Occupiers was a full-on quorum of average joes with representation across several spectra. There were Christians, pagans, dope fiends, felons, bikers, disgruntled employees, GIs, vets, blue-collar Barney Rubbles, Republicans, Democrats, hippies, neo-hippies, and chanting, jangling Hare Krishnas, The cops were disguised as an invading foreign force but we all know they were really just a bunch of Christians, pagans, dope fiends, felons, bikers, disgruntled employees, GIs, vets, blue-collar Barney Rubbles, Republicans, and Democrats. The only groups lacking representation really were the hippies and the chanting, jangling Hare Krishnas that stayed with the rest of us till late into the night serving free food as a replacement for the Anarchists who had been quite the hell shut down. Oh yeah–there likely weren’t too many Anarchists on the cops’ side of the lines. I’m pretty sure  those differences are significant. Maybe the cops would be better if they got some of those groups they were missing. The janglier the better.

Back here at the county jail where i’m still Occupying, there’s lots of conflict, though not nearly so boiling hot. The old standby, “Fuck the Police,” is scrawled or carved around and about and plenty of folks on either side of whatever line each has drawn are fully prepared to swing  clubs at one another. Many of the sheriff’s deputies and sad, paycheck-to paycheck “detention specialists” are happy to evoke a very dark spirit indeed in their efforts to control us inmates who represent Other to them. I have been struck by the observation that these obnoxious fucks are the respected  representatives of a society that so many of our deluded citizenry expect us of the criminal class to emulate.

Ha! I may be an asshole myself, but no thanks: I have no interest in joining your obnoxious and shitty club.

Meanwhile, virtually all of us prisoners, including myself sometimes, react…”Grumble grumble fuck the police why i oughtta etc. etc. ad nauseum” Various of us slink around and steal or fight among ourselves or in general practice a sort of blindfolded subservience to Self. (Marco! Polo!…Ouch! Motherfucker!!!). We’re fucking obnoxious. We want the cops and the guards and judges and bankers and presidents to act differently but…why would they want to join our obnoxious and shitty club? When they do we wind up with a spectacular clusterfuck like the found at the Denver county jail last month, where a dep was helping a banger sling dope and administer beat-downs. Happens all the time. In every kaleidoscopic variation you can imagine.

Pogo couldn’t have known the heft and resonance of his words: “ We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

I wrote a screed a while back, (Today’s Tom Sawyer), excoriating shitty Christian behavior. There’s still plenty to say about all that, and maybe some of it will come out here, but it’s not the point of this one. During that earlier rant, i promised to harp, eventually, about bad behavior on the part of pagans, dope fiends, felons, bikers, disgruntled employees, GIs, vets, and some of my other natural affinity groups as well.

That isn’t it either. Or maybe it is. But not really. Not quite. I promised to write about the Fear, too, and nor is it that, though the Fear runs through it all. This is about a war.

Many members of of various of the groups on that funny little list i jotted just now recognize and will now openly state that there’s a war looming. They’re wrong about that much anyhow–the looming is all done and the fight is on. Right now. It’s been on for decades, (or maybe forever). I’m here “jotting” because that’s what one does in the county jail, where i am a political prisoner–a POW, really, though i prefer to think of myself as a prisoner of conscience–but maybe it’s a digression to say so. Or maybe not. Let’s explore this amalgam of notions a bit, and see if we can find out.

Here at the county jail one finds a  peculiarly refined microcosm of the way the dynamics of the variously conflicting groups involved in this bizarre  war interact, cleared of much of the dross of false civility that ordinarily circumvents the fight out on the sidewalk, at least here in the U.S.A.

I know Europeans here that want to skedaddle from this place and others afraid to come here because many of them can see the shitstorm brewing and it scares them. They often seem to see it more clearly than we Americans are able to do at least in part because our access to real news is barely over nil, of maybe because as outside observers they aren’t saddled with the cognitive dissonance we sorry brainwashed frogs that live in this hot-ass boiling lake must so often suffer. I don’t know. I hope they realize this pond holds us all.

Oddly enough, while the interactions at the county jail display some of the finer points of conflict in out absurdly labeled free society, they also show some reasons for hope. There are still lights burning.

“Fuck the Police!”

I don’t know how many times i’ve heard that phrase from some of my dearest friends. I’ve uttered them myself. Often. Sometimes at the top of my lungs. Sometimes it was far more personal: “Fuck you! That’s right, you, personally, whomever you may be in your opposition to me, my pursuits, my people. Maybe i should refer to the less common; “Fuck the Pigs,’ because the police are only a fractional representation of one segment, one camp of that particular overarching social entity the hippies were talking about when they began to disparage swine so badly as to label their opposition thusly in this odd existential war from whence the flesh and blood scrap derives.

“Battle lines are being drawn,” went the line from the Buffalo Springfield some fifty-ish years back. They’re pretty well drawn, now, though they resemble lines a three-year-old might scribble. The shit’s on. People are fighting. The skirmishes often feel like some kind of kids’ game though too, involving blindfolds and billyclubs. Maybe i can’t deny swinging a stick around myself, sometimes. Maybe that’swhat this is–a chance for me to look in the mirror a little, Maybe it’s because it’s hard to sit the game out when i keep getting hit in the head. Whatever. Let’s keep on through the maze and just hope we don’t smash too many mirrors.

During the Occupation we intrepids staged a few years back, (and some of us still engage–viva la revolución and all), my son and i traveled to Denver for the final push when the cops razed the encampment there. The scene that October of 2011 there in Denver was some shit this country hadn’t seen in over forty years maybe, where armored brigades of soldiers–not cops at all but stormtroopers–rolled on a huge, disparate group of unarmed citizens. It was tragic. And beautiful. Versions of the same scene played out all around the world that fall.

There at Civic Center Park, across the avenue from the State Capitol building, the Boy and i stood in the thick of it as those battle lines sharpened, and then blew apart as the whole outhouse hit the fan.

Some thousands of us had marched boisterously through Denver’s business district, pausing for a special visit at the Federal Reserve. After completing a wide loop around downtown we mounted the Capitol steps for whatever confrontation the Denver planners had planned. They, (to claim a thing–we), had been warned explicitly beforehand to stay off that particular edifice, so the moment we took the steps and began railing through one of our ubiquitous bullhorns, the shock teams appeared, as if the bearded-Spock Enterprise had beamed them to the scene.

Honestly, i was pretty fucking nervous at that point. It’s not as though i’d never been beaten up by the cops before, but that stuff is kind of a young man’s sport, and i was never really all that much a fan anyhow. Besides, those had always been cops, not armored sci-fi gladiators. But the main thing was the Boy. He was fifteen then and down for plenty, but he looked pretty worried too, and, (the mainthing, actually), i knew i’d never live through my next conversation with his mother if i allowed him to be beaten and busted by the police. I suggested we pull back to the park and we did, but i felt pretty spineless for having done it, really.

The Boy and i had a quick consult: “You see what this is going to be, right?” “Yeah.” “Are you down, or not?” Nervous but firm, “Yeah.” “Fuck it then…God damn it; your mom is gonna kill me. Let’s get some lunch.”

The park itself  was packed with crowds of Occupiers, some having returned with us from the march and probably harboring thoughts similar to mine. The encampment had been there for a good while by then, and the Black Flag Anarchists’ Free Kitchen was in full flight. It had already been dismantled more than once as a special preparatory project for the cops–kind of a warm-up. Knowing well what was coming, the no-nonsense scrappy men’n’women in black behind the table were all assholes with elbows, flying around in a frenzy with grim serious joy in their eyes as they did their level best to sling as much great tasting free food as possible before the inevitable hammer fell. Those guys were freaking awesome sauce with motherfuckin’ cherries on top!

Rather than spark an actual and possibly justifiable war on the Capitol steps, even the most radical and adrenaline-blinded of the group holding that position chose to retreat and quickly joined us at the park. The scene was oddly festive, with tents and art projects and folks dressed for carnival. The mid-autumn day was one of those beautiful Colorado Indian summer affairs with pristine blue skies through which flitted happy and blissfully oblivious birdies merrily on the lookout for delectable kitchen scraps. But wait! What the hey!!? The second the steps were abandoned and that contingent joined those meeker souls at the park, the rest of the cops in the danged known universe materialized in a huff and began setting up for some sort of paramilitary invasion. No shit–we all saw pretty quickly what the Denver PD had in mind for all those fun military vehicles and equipment they’d been collecting.

The scene changed dramatically there on the sidewalk where the Anarchists’ Kitchen was set up. There was plenty of action before then, but the top-gun radicals had been at the Capitol along with most of the cops. Now a phalanx quickly formed four deep with armored, shielded, armed, dangerous, implacable, and apparently stoically unflappable police stretching all around, up and down–all over the fucking place. Where the Boy and i stood a few sidewalk squares south of the Kitchen the scene was still like a carnival spreading away and outward into the park in every direction save the east, buy more like something Ray Bradbury or John Clifford might have dreamt up. Moving east to west one would have passed through four rows of cops in a formation that i’d only seen before in movies about Fascist  takeovers where American patriots saved the day by vanquishing some identically clad and positioned foe as we occupiers faced that day, armored only with our damn-the-torpedoes ethical certitude. Stepping by the entrenched police if one were to dare it, one would have passed a modest tree lawn, an ordinary sidewalk crowded with dark festival-goers, and could then step up to the folding table that served as the Anarchists’ ordering counter and serving table set up facing east from the immediate western line of the sidewalk across from the antiMayberry lines facing the stubbornly unaltered scene in the Kitchen.

The cops just stood there for what seems to memory like hours, but it couldn’t have been all afternoon or anything. Maybe so. The Boy and i milled around a bit getting a look at the overall scene and scoping out the various sections of the park. Behind the Kitchen to the west were the bulk of the tents, say a hundred or more, though others were scattered about. Further  west a concrete round with maybe a fountain or something hosted a bunch of info tables, some artsy hippies working on various projects, a triage setup, some chanting Hare Krishnas. More cops surrounded the camp, even more moved to close off the farthest reaches of the west side, We all saw we were utterly circumscribed and our physical position was hopeless. There was plenty of Hope, mind you, but all of it founded on our spiritual position, see.

As we awaited  what everyone knew to be inexorable, not so many of us remained quiet, (by “us” i mean Occupiers here; the most visible government employees were silent). I did mostly, and so did the Boy, he for his reasons and i for mine. The whole scene produced its own racket, but the most noticeable volume arose from the collection of spirit-moved Occupiers working the lines of eerily insensate gendarmes. Each was moved by his or her own personal spirit, few of which were very friendly toward the collective juggernaut we faced. More than one strode frenetically up and down whichever line was convenient  hurling f-bombs and spittle with as much force as he could muster. You know: “Fuck the Police!!!” and,“Fuck Yoooou!!!” from distances as close as the collected officers’ gear would allow. The pointillistic rows of cops, each in his own world, stared into space, eyes forward and directed at some Unknown, refusing eye contact. Only God and each man in his solitude knew what blackness filled his vision, (and possibly anyone operating one of those guv’mint mind-reading gizmos, if you’re into that sort of thinking).

Sensibly, few of the “non-violent” protesters were mad–that is crazy–enough to attempt to get physical. Those that did were promptly stomped, smashed and removed from the game. Otherwise with many pushing the envelope right to its most extreme limit, the arms-down-and-rigid-face forward-inches-from-any-nearest-random-cop’s-shielded-face stance of extreme and barely checked agitation rapidly became familiar. I for one was amazed at the extraordinary and rather creepy restraint the beleaguered police were displaying, though few shield-screened eyes could keep from betraying internal turmoil. Virtually none of the cops would assent to eye contact.

As this scene played itself out, a few Occupiers attempted to convince their fellows to mellow. In the midst of the very front and most electrical line of all this, there in front of the aforementioned Kitchen, one lone Occupier was working the line of gear-laden men, moved by a different spirit indeed. He was preaching it, baby. Pleading. Begging. Beseeching. As near to tears as i am now as this scene spills its way from my fingertips, fluid in his expressive motion to and fro as any practiced Sunday morning crowd-pleaser can i get a amen. “Don’t you see it? You are us! We are you! Please, stop this! We are one–we must stop fighting!” And in some brilliant, divinely inspired voice, “Lay down your shields! Join us! Put down your clubs and have some lunch!”

And then …right there in front of the Boy and me…with the scene in the actual Kitchen production area behind the table unchanged from before the lines formed…one of them did exactly that.

There was actually a fat queue at the Kitchen counter that parted like the Red Sea, astonished, for this newborn brother of ours to step up and claim his serving. He ate his food in silence and retook his spot in that other line which remained unaltered as his fellows stood unmoved, apparently in both senses. The Boy and i collected our portion of genuinely bomb-ass risotto and began to  eat with more on our minds than i can possibly describe. Before we were half through our plates the order came and we found ourselves dining amidst a police riot, our rice flavored by tear gas. (I got off the hook before, when the story remained vague. I suppose his mom is going to kill me now, after all).

The rest of the action went down as one would expect, with ample blood, outrage, and pepper-bullet injury and indignity and tears and drama. It was all on the news, with much expansion available on YouTube. You can look it up. None of that is the point.

I heard that one cop was fired perfunctorily that night.

We were there. Right fucking there. It really happened. It was so surreal i almost have to ask the Boy if it actually wasn’t some kind of dream.

Those two guys, though. That cop! When we all do what he did, just maybe then the war will be over. He looked up  and noticed he was looking in the fucking mirror.

The thing about all this is that the crowd of Occupiers was a full-on quorum of average joes with representation across several spectra. There were Christians, pagans, dope fiends, felons, bikers, disgruntled employees, GIs, vets, blue-collar Barney Rubbles, Republicans, Democrats, hippies, neo-hippies, and chanting, jangling Hare Krishnas, The cops were disguised as an invading foreign force but we all know they were really just a bunch of Christians, pagans, dope fiends, felons, bikers, disgruntled employees, GIs, vets, blue-collar Barney Rubbles, Republicans, and Democrats. The only groups lacking representation really were the hippies and the chanting, jangling Hare Krishnas that stayed with the rest of us till late into the night serving free food as a replacement for the Anarchists who had been quite the hell shut down. Oh yeah–there likely weren’t too many Anarchists on the cops’ side of the lines. I’m pretty sure  those differences are significant. Maybe the cops would be better if they got some of those groups they were missing. The janglier the better.

Back here at the county jail where i’m still Occupying, there’s lots of conflict, though not nearly so boiling hot. The old standby, “Fuck the Police,” is scrawled or carved around and about and plenty of folks on either side of whatever line each has drawn are fully prepared to swing  clubs at one another. Many of the sheriff’s deputies and sad, paycheck-to paycheck “detention specialists” are happy to evoke a very dark spirit indeed in their efforts to control us inmates who represent Other to them. I have been struck by the observation that these obnoxious fucks are the respected  representatives of a society that so many of our deluded citizenry expect us of the criminal class to emulate.

Ha! I may be an asshole myself, but no thanks: I have no interest in joining your obnoxious and shitty club.

Meanwhile, virtually all of us prisoners, including myself sometimes, react…”Grumble grumble fuck the police why i oughtta etc. etc. ad nauseum” Various of us slink around and steal or fight among ourselves or in general practice a sort of blindfolded subservience to Self. (Marco! Polo!…Ouch! Motherfucker!!!). We’re fucking obnoxious. We want the cops and the guards and judges and bankers and presidents to act differently but…why would they want to join our obnoxious and shitty club? When they do we wind up with a spectacular clusterfuck like the found at the Denver county jail last month, where a dep was helping a banger sling dope and administer beat-downs. Happens all the time. In every kaleidoscopic variation you can imagine.

Sorry, reader; a glitch is preventing the end of this from displaying just now. I’ll fix it, but meanwhile, this link is better for the footnotes anyway. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1umk-RPyxoiQTPSS84Cp4sR80UAXFzsVRpuiRBVzrdNA/edit?usp=sharing

Although those of you that have read or will now read the other stuff here on hipgnosis will easily recognize the common ground that one may imagine stands to be found on the lawns inside the moats of our adjacent castles in a neighborhood full of loons, all built on air, i am deeply indebted to Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason for some of the truly fine and beautiful language i snatched more or less wholesale to help me build the last four paragraphs here. Even though their book,The Rule of Four is a best-seller of a popular genre, i highly recommend it as the best book i’ve read produced during the twenty-first century. I wish i had written it myself, (while noting the title of this piece). Everyone should read this book.

POSTED BY STEVE BASS AT 9:45 PM

Homeless Colorado Springs man emboldened by Occupy effort appeals jail time

from the Colorado Springs Gazette

http://gazette.com/article/1534440

By Jakob Rodgers Updated: July 28, 2014 at 2:07 pm

Nearly three years ago, Steven Bass’ tent led to a police ticket – a ticket that led to a trial, an appeal denied and 160-day sentence in El Paso County jail.

Bass, the first person cited under Colorado Springs’ camping ban, remains mired in a legal battle backed by a University of Denver assistant professor working for free.

He represents a small segment of the homeless issue – a man on a personal crusade against the camping ban emboldened by the Occupy Colorado Springs movement. His case is not emblematic of others who have been cited for camping on public property; rather, it is more of an outlier.

While people ticketed for camping typically include the chronically homeless – people whose only home is a tent, and who often rebuff police officers’ offers of secure housing – Bass wants to make a point.

Right now, he is free while appealing the jail time. Bass lives with a fellow veteran of the Occupy movement and blogs occasionally on what he sees as injustices in the world.

“I contend now that this thing has burgeoned well beyond the camping ban itself, and has now become a giant discussion of principle, and just what the hell we’re doing here in the United States of America, and the whole world,” Bass said.

Police issued the ticket in October 2011 when he pitched a tent on a sidewalk in Acacia Park, despite warnings from police that doing so would lead to a citation.

For Bass, the ticket and the Occupy gathering proved an opportune time for a stand against the city’s camping ban – an ordinance passed by the City Council in 2010 that outlawed camping on public land. He said he has volunteered at soup kitchens and for other homeless services for about 30 years, and he lives homeless – usually by couch surfing.

“Just because they don’t have any money, poof, they are made criminals,” Bass said of people affected by the ban.

Eleven tickets have been issued under the ban through June 5, with the majority coming in 2014, according to the Colorado Springs Police Department.

The ban came as camps swelled along Monument and Fountain creeks amid the Great Recession in 2009 and early 2010. So many people lived there that bystanders dropped off donated food and clothing along the creek beds – philanthropy that proved overwhelming to the point of concern, some homeless advocates say. Sanitation issues also arose.

City Council member Jan Martin said she voted for the ordinance for the safety of people using creekside trails, along with concerns about the image that such tent cities would create for the city, she said Friday. Proponents of the ban said it is a tool to get people into more stable housing.

“In my opinion, it’s not a matter of out of sight, out of mind,” Martin said. “It’s just trying to find resources that can help people get back on their feet.”

Because of Bass’ indigent status, a judge decided against a fine in favor of a 60-hour community service sentence for the citation.

Bass said he almost did it – he planned on helping Pikes Peak Habitat for Humanity – until a DU professor offered to help. With the pro bono advice of Christopher Lasch, who teaches at the university’s Criminal Defense Clinic, Bass appealed the case.

A district court judge upheld the municipal court’s decision – a blow to the notion that the ban is unjust.

A subsequent appeal to the Colorado Supreme Court was denied in March, said Rob McCallum, spokesman for the Colorado Judicial Branch.

Through it all, Bass contemplated his 60-hour of community service sentence. And in an April hearing before Municipal Judge Spottswood W. H. Williams, Bass said he will never complete the requirement.

Identifying himself as an Occupier, Bass wrote to Williams that the camping ordinance is “effectively status-based incarceration,” because forcing people into shelters could be another form of incarceration. He also said he already does community service but railed against the court forcing him to do so.

“Therefore, i (sic) am here in front of you forcing your hand,” he wrote. “You must now either acknowledge the ethical poverty of the ordinance, or prove my point.”

In June, Williams answered Bass’ statement with a 160-day jail sentence for contempt of court.

Bass is appealing that sentence with Lasch’s help after having served more than a month in El Paso County jail.

Lasch said the jail sentence was excessive because jail time for failing to pay a fine is usually half of what Bass has served.

Even if he serves all 160 days, Bass has no plans of completing the 60-hour community service order – a requirement that remains.

Lasch wants all of it thrown out.

“The fact that the government would go to such lengths to punish this activity certainly supports Steve’s position that this (ban) effectively punishes being homeless,” Lasch said.

“In this case, it certainly punished him for speaking out against the ban.”

-

Contact Jakob Rodgers: 476-1654

Twitter @JakobRodgers

Facebook: Jakob.Rodgers

Read more at http://gazette.com/homeless-colorado-springs-man-emboldened-by-occupy-effort-appeals-jail-time/article/1534440#TIqUcdEm4KE8udlJ.99

PTSD People and Passive Aggressive People… a toxic mix

I admit to being a deeply flawed and scarred individual. I have shared several links this morning regarding Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to help people better understand what it is like to live inside a PTSD mind and provide some do’s and don’ts on how to deal with and help someone suffering with this mental illness. I have also provided some links on Passive–aggressive behavior to shed some light on how someone exhibiting passive aggressive tendencies could easily escalate the symptoms of someone suffering from PTSD. I hope this information will be helpful to my friends in dealing with me and will also shed some light on the dynamics of interactions with others and why things have spiraled out of control over the past 2 years or so.

I was sure to post more articles about ptsd than passive aggressive behaviors to take more responsibility for being an individual with ptsd than i am laying blame for passive aggressive behaviors that tend to push my ptsd buttons.

Lets look at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder first.

_________________________

What is post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD?

PTSD is an anxiety disorder that some people get after seeing or living through a dangerous event.

When in danger, it’s natural to feel afraid. This fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in PTSD, this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger.

Who gets PTSD?

Anyone can get PTSD at any age. This includes war veterans and survivors of physical and sexual assault, abuse, accidents, disasters, and many other serious events.

Not everyone with PTSD has been through a dangerous event. Some people get PTSD after a friend or family member experiences danger or is harmed. The sudden, unexpected death of a loved one can also cause PTSD.

What are the symptoms of PTSD?

PTSD can cause many symptoms. These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:

1. Re-experiencing symptoms:
Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
Bad dreams
Frightening thoughts.
Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.

2. Avoidance symptoms:
Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
Feeling emotionally numb
Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.
Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.

3. Hyperarousal symptoms:
Being easily startled
Feeling tense or “on edge”
Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.
Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

It’s natural to have some of these symptoms after a dangerous event. Sometimes people have very serious symptoms that go away after a few weeks. This is called acute stress disorder, or ASD. When the symptoms last more than a few weeks and become an ongoing problem, they might be PTSD. Some people with PTSD don’t show any symptoms for weeks or months.

Do children react differently than adults?

Children and teens can have extreme reactions to trauma, but their symptoms may not be the same as adults.1 In very young children, these symptoms can include:

Bedwetting, when they’d learned how to use the toilet before
Forgetting how or being unable to talk
Acting out the scary event during playtime
Being unusually clingy with a parent or other adult.
Older children and teens usually show symptoms more like those seen in adults. They may also develop disruptive, disrespectful, or destructive behaviors. Older children and teens may feel guilty for not preventing injury or deaths. They may also have thoughts of revenge. For more information, see the NIMH booklets on helping children cope with violence and disasters.

How is PTSD detected?

A doctor who has experience helping people with mental illnesses, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist, can diagnose PTSD. The diagnosis is made after the doctor talks with the person who has symptoms of PTSD.

To be diagnosed with PTSD, a person must have all of the following for at least 1 month:
At least one re-experiencing symptom
At least three avoidance symptoms
At least two hyperarousal symptoms
Symptoms that make it hard to go about daily life, go to school or work, be with friends, and take care of important tasks.
Why do some people get PTSD and other people do not?

It is important to remember that not everyone who lives through a dangerous event gets PTSD. In fact, most will not get the disorder.

Many factors play a part in whether a person will get PTSD. Some of these are risk factors that make a person more likely to get PTSD. Other factors, called resilience factors, can help reduce the risk of the disorder. Some of these risk and resilience factors are present before the trauma and others become important during and after a traumatic event.

Risk factors for PTSD include: 2
Living through dangerous events and traumas
Having a history of mental illness
Getting hurt
Seeing people hurt or killed
Feeling horror, helplessness, or extreme fear
Having little or no social support after the event
Dealing with extra stress after the event, such as loss of a loved one, pain and injury, or loss of a job or home.
Resilience factors that may reduce the risk of PTSD include: 3
Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family
Finding a support group after a traumatic event
Feeling good about one’s own actions in the face of danger
Having a coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it
Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear.
Researchers are studying the importance of various risk and resilience factors. With more study, it may be possible someday to predict who is likely to get PTSD and prevent it.

How is PTSD treated?

The main treatments for people with PTSD are psychotherapy (“talk” therapy), medications, or both. Everyone is different, so a treatment that works for one person may not work for another. It is important for anyone with PTSD to be treated by a mental health care provider who is experienced with PTSD. Some people with PTSD need to try different treatments to find what works for their symptoms.

If someone with PTSD is going through an ongoing trauma, such as being in an abusive relationship, both of the problems need to be treated. Other ongoing problems can include panic disorder, depression, substance abuse, and feeling suicidal.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is “talk” therapy. It involves talking with a mental health professional to treat a mental illness. Psychotherapy can occur one-on-one or in a group. Talk therapy treatment for PTSD usually lasts 6 to 12 weeks, but can take more time. Research shows that support from family and friends can be an important part of therapy.

Many types of psychotherapy can help people with PTSD. Some types target the symptoms of PTSD directly. Other therapies focus on social, family, or job-related problems. The doctor or therapist may combine different therapies depending on each person’s needs.

One helpful therapy is called cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. There are several parts to CBT, including:

Exposure therapy. This therapy helps people face and control their fear. It exposes them to the trauma they experienced in a safe way. It uses mental imagery, writing, or visits to the place where the event happened. The therapist uses these tools to help people with PTSD cope with their feelings.
Cognitive restructuring. This therapy helps people make sense of the bad memories. Sometimes people remember the event differently than how it happened. They may feel guilt or shame about what is not their fault. The therapist helps people with PTSD look at what happened in a realistic way.
Stress inoculation training. This therapy tries to reduce PTSD symptoms by teaching a person how to reduce anxiety. Like cognitive restructuring, this treatment helps people look at their memories in a healthy way.
Other types of treatment can also help people with PTSD. People with PTSD should talk about all treatment options with their therapist.

How Talk Therapies Help People Overcome PTSD
Talk therapies teach people helpful ways to react to frightening events that trigger their PTSD symptoms. Based on this general goal, different types of therapy may:

Teach about trauma and its effects.
Use relaxation and anger control skills.
Provide tips for better sleep, diet, and exercise habits.
Help people identify and deal with guilt, shame, and other feelings about the event.
Focus on changing how people react to their PTSD symptoms. For example, therapy helps people visit places and people that are reminders of the trauma.

What efforts are under way to improve the detection and treatment of PTSD?

Researchers have learned a lot in the last decade about fear, stress, and PTSD. Scientists are also learning about how people form memories. This is important because creating very powerful fear-related memories seems to be a major part of PTSD. Researchers are also exploring how people can create “safety” memories to replace the bad memories that form after a trauma. NIMH’s goal in supporting this research is to improve treatment and find ways to prevent the disorder.

PTSD research also includes the following examples:
Using powerful new research methods, such as brain imaging and the study of genes, to find out more about what leads to PTSD, when it happens, and who is most at risk.
Trying to understand why some people get PTSD and others do not. Knowing this can help health care professionals predict who might get PTSD and provide early treatment.
Focusing on ways to examine pre-trauma, trauma, and post-trauma risk and resilience factors all at once.
Looking for treatments that reduce the impact traumatic memories have on our emotions.
Improving the way people are screened for PTSD, given early treatment, and tracked after a mass trauma.
Developing new approaches in self-testing and screening to help people know when it’s time to call a doctor.
Testing ways to help family doctors detect and treat PTSD or refer people with PTSD to mental health specialists.
For more information on PTSD research, please see NIMH’s PTSD Research online Fact Sheet or the PTSD Clinical Trials Web site.

How can I help a friend or relative who has PTSD?

If you know someone who has PTSD, it affects you too. The first and most important thing you can do to help a friend or relative is to help him or her get the right diagnosis and treatment. You may need to make an appointment for your friend or relative and go with him or her to see the doctor. Encourage him or her to stay in treatment, or to seek different treatment if his or her symptoms don’t get better after 6 to 8 weeks.

To help a friend or relative, you can:
Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.
Learn about PTSD so you can understand what your friend or relative is experiencing.
Talk to your friend or relative, and listen carefully.
Listen to feelings your friend or relative expresses and be understanding of situations that may trigger PTSD symptoms.
Invite your friend or relative out for positive distractions such as walks, outings, and other activities.
Remind your friend or relative that, with time and treatment, he or she can get better.
Never ignore comments about your friend or relative harming him or herself, and report such comments to your friend’s or relative’s therapist or doctor.

How can I help myself?

It may be very hard to take that first step to help yourself. It is important to realize that although it may take some time, with treatment, you can get better.

To help yourself:
Talk to your doctor about treatment options.
Engage in mild activity or exercise to help reduce stress.
Set realistic goals for yourself.
Break up large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to spend time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or relative. Tell others about things that may trigger symptoms.
Expect your symptoms to improve gradually, not immediately.
Identify and seek out comforting situations, places, and people.

Source http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml

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Helping Someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

It can be hard to handle having a close friend or family member with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They may struggle with irritability, have problems sleeping at night, be unable to focus, feel depressed or act anxious most of the time. In fact, for some people the symptoms can be so severe that treatment at a certified post traumatic stress disorder treatment center may be necessary. PTSD treatment facilities have been shown to be very beneficial to the health and overall well-being of those with this disorder.

How can you deal with this situation? The following steps can serve as helpful tips for dealing with and loving someone with PTSD.

Learn everything you can about PTSD. By knowing all of this information, you will be better able to handle the situation.
Exercise together. Exercising strengthens the overall body and improves health.
Don’t judge them.
Be there to listen. Make your self available to them when they need to talk. Be an active listener by giving input when needed.
Show respect. Respect them even though they may be having a difficult time at the moment.
Look out for them. Show you care by recognizing when everything doesn’t seem to be okay.
Allow room for mistakes. Recognize that they will make mistakes, but always be there to forgive them and offer help if needed.
Talk positively.
Give them their space. Your loved one may not always want your opinion on everything, be willing to step aside every once in a while and give them some space.
Be active together. Planning and participating in family activities can be a fun way to interact and show them you don’t look down on them.
Love them.
Don’t belittle them. While it is important to not expect too much, not expecting anything at all is unnecessary and can be hurtful.
Be patient.
Avoid harsh remarks. Stay away from telling your friend or family member to get over their problems, this may only make problems worse.
Encourage their self-esteem.
Take care of yourself. Remember that you can’t take care of someone else if you haven’t dealt with yourself first. In many cases seeking out a friend to help you is beneficial.
In serious situations, it may be helpful to seek out the advice and assistance of a medical professional. In addition, post traumatic stress disorder treatment centers are available for anyone suffering from this disorder. A problem like PTSD can escalate quickly. If help is not sought out soon enough the problem may become increasingly worse to the point where full recovery may never be possible.

Source: http://casapalmera.com/ways-to-support-someone-with-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/

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Helping a Family Member Who Has PTSD

When someone has PTSD, it can change family life. The person with PTSD may act differently and get angry easily. He or she may not want to do things you used to enjoy together.
You may feel scared and frustrated about the changes you see in your loved one. You also may feel angry about what’s happening to your family, or wonder if things will ever go back to the way they were. These feelings and worries are common in people who have a family member with PTSD.
It is important to learn about PTSD so you can understand why it happened, how it is treated, and what you can do to help. But you also need to take care of yourself. Changes in family life are stressful, and taking care of yourself will make it easier to cope.
How can I help?

You may feel helpless, but there are many things you can do. Nobody expects you to have all the answers.
Here are ways you can help:
Learn as much as you can about PTSD. Knowing how PTSD affects people may help you understand what your family member is going through. The more you know, the better you and your family can handle PTSD.
Offer to go to doctor visits with your family member. You can help keep track of medicine and therapy, and you can be there for support.
Tell your loved one you want to listen and that you also understand if he or she doesn’t feel like talking.
Plan family activities together, like having dinner or going to a movie.
Take a walk, go for a bike ride, or do some other physical activity together. Exercise is important for health and helps clear your mind.
Encourage contact with family and close friends. A support system will help your family member get through difficult changes and stressful times.
Your family member may not want your help. If this happens, keep in mind that withdrawal can be a symptom of PTSD. A person who withdraws may not feel like talking, taking part in group activities, or being around other people. Give your loved one space, but tell him or her that you will always be ready to help.
How can I deal with anger or violent behavior?

Your family member may feel angry about many things. Anger is a normal reaction to trauma, but it can hurt relationships and make it hard to think clearly. Anger also can be frightening.
If anger leads to violent behavior or abuse, it’s dangerous. Go to a safe place and call for help right away. Make sure children are in a safe place as well.
It’s hard to talk to someone who is angry. One thing you can do is set up a time-out system. This helps you find a way to talk even while angry. Here’s one way to do this.
Agree that either of you can call a time-out at any time.
Agree that when someone calls a time-out, the discussion must stop right then.
Decide on a signal you will use to call a time-out. The signal can be a word that you say or a hand signal.
Agree to tell each other where you will be and what you will be doing during the time-out. Tell each other what time you will come back.
While you are taking a time-out, don’t focus on how angry you feel. Instead, think calmly about how you will talk things over and solve the problem.
After you come back

Take turns talking about solutions to the problem. Listen without interrupting.
Use statements starting with “I,” such as “I think” or “I feel.” Using “you” statements can sound accusing.
Be open to each other’s ideas. Don’t criticize each other.
Focus on things you both think will work. It’s likely you will both have good ideas.
Together, agree which solutions you will use.
How can I communicate better?

You and your family may have trouble talking about feelings, worries, and everyday problems. Here are some ways to communicate better:
Be clear and to the point.
Be positive. Blame and negative talk won’t help the situation.
Be a good listener. Don’t argue or interrupt. Repeat what you hear to make sure you understand, and ask questions if you need to know more.
Put your feelings into words. Your loved one may not know you are sad or frustrated unless you are clear about your feelings.
Help your family member put feelings into words. Ask, “Are you feeling angry? Sad? Worried?”
Ask how you can help.
Don’t give advice unless you are asked.
If your family is having a lot of trouble talking things over, consider trying family therapy. Family therapy is a type of counseling that involves your whole family. A therapist helps you and your family communicate, maintain good relationships, and cope with tough emotions.
During therapy, each person can talk about how a problem is affecting the family. Family therapy can help family members understand and cope with PTSD.
Your health professional or a religious or social services organization can help you find a family therapist who specializes in PTSD.
How can I take care of myself?

Helping a person with PTSD can be hard on you. You may have your own feelings of fear and anger about the trauma. You may feel guilty because you wish your family member would just forget his or her problems and get on with life. You may feel confused or frustrated because your loved one has changed, and you may worry that your family life will never get back to normal.
All of this can drain you. It can affect your health and make it hard for you to help your loved one. If you’re not careful, you may get sick yourself, become depressed, or burn out and stop helping your loved one.
To help yourself, you need to take care of yourself and have other people help you.
Care for yourself

Don’t feel guilty or feel that you have to know it all. Remind yourself that nobody has all the answers. It’s normal to feel helpless at times.
Don’t feel bad if things change slowly. You cannot change anyone. People have to change themselves.
Take care of your physical and mental health. If you feel yourself getting sick or often feel sad and hopeless, see your doctor.
Don’t give up your outside life. Make time for activities and hobbies you enjoy. Continue to see your friends.
Take time to be by yourself. Find a quiet place to gather your thoughts and “recharge.”
Get regular exercise, even just a few minutes a day. Exercise is a healthy way to deal with stress.
Eat healthy foods. When you are busy, it may seem easier to eat fast food than to prepare healthy meals. But healthy foods will give you more energy to carry you through the day.
Remember the good things. It’s easy to get weighed down by worry and stress. But don’t forget to see and celebrate the good things that happen to you and your family.
Get help

During difficult times, it is important to have people in your life who you can depend on. These people are your support network. They can help you with everyday jobs, like taking a child to school, or by giving you love and understanding.
You may get support from:
Family members
Friends, coworkers, and neighbors
Members of your religious or spiritual group
Support groups
Doctors and other health professionals

source: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/helping-family-member.asp

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What NOT to Say to Someone With Panic Disorder

By 

Imagine this: you’re allergic to cats. You’ve just been exposed to cat dander and your eyes are a soggy, drippy red mess. You sneeze uncontrollably multiple times in a row. Your skin becomes itchy, red, and full of welts. You’re feeling pretty miserable.

A friend walks up to you.

“Hey, no worries,” he exclaims casually, “there’s nothing to be allergic to!”

Uh, what?

“Sure there is — I’m allergic to cats,” you’d probably say.

“Nah,” says your friend, “just stop sneezing. You’ll be okay.”

“What?! I can’t just STOP sneezing on a dime,” you retort.

“Sure you can. There’s nothing wrong with you,” he insists.

“Uhm, care to explain these welts, then? And the red eyes? And the sneezing?!”

Sounds frustrating, doesn’t it? If you suffer from allergies, you know that a reaction to an allergen can produce a truly miserable day. And while panic disorder is no allergy, it produces its own unique brand of misery, too.

And that misery can be compounded by how others react to a panic attack. Hopefully, no one would ever tell an allergy sufferer to “just stop sneezing” or to “make those welts go away.” It would be ineffective and frustrating advice.

However, as a panic sufferer myself, I’ve received a lot of ineffective and frustrating advice over the past few years. Most of it is delivered sincerely, with the absolute best of intentions, from people whom I care about. So, it often hurts to let these people know that their advice isn’t helping (and perhaps is even making the panic attack worse!). It’s not easy. If you haven’t yet developed a thick enough skin to ignore the below advice (I sure haven’t!), please share the below tips with family and friends who care about you.

This post was inspired by this list of things you shouldn’t say to someone who is depressed.

You say: “Just calm down.”
We want to say: “Okay, HOW!?”

Let’s pick this one apart piece by piece. “Just” implies that the act of calming down is a simple one. It’s not. For someone in the midst of panic, calming down can be an extraordinarily difficult task. For you, it might be effortless; for those of us with panic disorder, it might involve medication, breathing exercises, distraction, rituals, positive self-talk and reassurance, and/or time.

The “calm down” part is also problematic in and of itself. If you don’t have any tools, you can’t build a house, right? Unless you can construct some tools from thin air, you’re out of luck. Likewise, if we don’t have any tools or techniques (like the breathing exercises mentioned above) that can help us to become calmer, we can’t “build” anything. We can’t construct a ladder that will allow us to climb our way out of a panic attack. And, the added stress of being unable to comply with a “calm down” request might compound our anxiety.

Better response: Can I help you calm down? Is there anything I can do?

You say: “Why can’t you just relax?”
We want to say: “It’s a bit more complicated than you think!”

During a panic attack, the following physiological changes can occur:

* increased heart rate
* adrenaline rushes
* shortness of breath
* lightheadedness
* heart palpitations
* nausea
* trembling/shaking
* numbing or tingling in hands/feet

It’s like trying to relax while you’re being chased by a wild animal. Or while you’re frantically trying to find your way out of a burning building. Put simply, our panic-filled bodies aren’t capable of turning off the fight-or-flight impulse on cue. We’re not equipped with a switch. Even a steadfast resolve to relax will probably only incite further frustration over the fact that our body is going haywire.

True story: during my very first biofeedback session, the practitioner hooked me up to a computer that measures anxiety via skin conductance (read: sweat), hand temperature, heart rate, and breathing rate. As soon as she said, “Okay, now try to relax!”, my anxiety level (as measured objectively by a computer) surged upward. This is common!

Better response: I’m here for you. What can I do to help you relax?

You say: “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
We want to say: “Oh yeah? Then why does it feel like I’m going to have a (insert-severe medical-condition-here)?”

Classic line, often delivered by well-intentioned close friends, family, and significant others. Sometimes, this sentiment could be helpful — but only if we’re fretting over the “Is this just panic, or is it a heart attack or a stroke!?” question. Otherwise, it’s usually an unhelpful phrase that makes us want to yell, “Yes! There IS something wrong with me at the moment! I’m panicking, and it’s terrifyingly uncomfortable! THAT is what’s wrong!”

Better response: This must be uncomfortable. Can I do anything to make it better?

You say: “Sit down.”
We want to say: “But sitting down makes me more anxious!”

Usually, sitting down is a relaxing activity. We sit down to eat, to watch television, and to read a good book — and all of those events are generally agreeable and soothing. However, merely assuming a seated position isn’t going to act as a panacea.

The panic response sends a rush of adrenaline into our bloodstream that compels us to either fight or flee. It makes us feel like we need to be hypervigilant in order to ensure our survival. If you were really being chased by a wild animal, for example, sitting down would do you no good. That’s why the impulse to stand upright and stay alert is so strong. Leave this one up to the panicker: if we feel more comfortable sitting down, help us to find a safe spot. If we need to pace or go for a walk in order to calm down, let us.

You say: “You’re overreacting!”
We want to say: “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”

While it may be true that our body and mind are in overdrive, we often feel like we cannot control these reactions. In the midst of a rapid heartbeat, a cascading series of negative thoughts, and an intense urge to escape, having someone inform us that we’re overreacting is not helpful. We’re often aware that our body and mind are overreacting, but we may not yet possess the skills to disengage our frantic nervous system.

Better response: If you want, I’ll wait here with you until this passes.

Even though the above statements aren’t helpful to hear during a panic attack, some might be more appropriate after the threat of imminent panic has passed. If you know someone with panic disorder and want to be a great support person for them, check out this guide.

If you’ve ever had a panic attack, what’s the most unhelpful thing you’ve heard from someone who is trying to help? Share your thoughts in the comments or find me on Twitter @summerberetsky.

Stay tuned for the second half of this list — based on your comments — later in the week.

Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/09/07/what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-panic-disorder/

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PTSD: 5 Rules to Help a Friend

by Suzanne Grosser

Someone you love has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD sufferers need help. You want to help them. I warn you, it won’t be easy. If you care enough about them to read this page, they are lucky to have you. But don’t expect them to realize that for a long time.

Rule #1: Do not take her behavior personally.
This is not about you. It is about her fear. It is about her anxiety. It is about her pain. This is her post traumatic stress. It is not about you. Understanding this does not make the problems (or obnoxious behaviors) go away. But it can keep your feelings and your relationship from being hurt unnecessarily by PTSD.

Post traumatic stress disorder is an illness. Once you accept this, you can treat PTSD like any other disease. If she had the flu, you wouldn’t expect her to be all cheerful and chatty. You would bring her a box of tissues and some orange juice. You’d keep her company if that’s what she wanted. You’d let her rest, if she wanted to be alone. Either way, you would not take it personally.

You would encourage your friend to get treatment. She needs it, but she may resist it.

Rule #2: Set boundaries
Do not under any circumstances tolerate unacceptable behavior.

Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. You are not a punching bag or a target for degrading insults. You do not deserve that and you will not help your friend that way either. If he hits you, leave. If you stay, you will only endanger yourself and you will give him one more thing to hate himself for, later. Don’t do it.

Do not do everything for him. I can not tell you where the line between helping a friend and being co-dependent is – but your gut will tell you. Give as much as feels right to you. Do not accept the guilt trip you will be handed when you refuse to give everything. Do not feel guilty for having a life outside of his problems. Someday he will join you there. But he’s not ready yet.

Rule #3: Do not expect much in return.
Right now, he doesn’t have much to offer. He’s struggling to get through the day without losing his temper, or drinking too much. He’s doing good if he can get to his doctor appointments and take his medications properly.

You will need your own support network, because he’s got all he can handle to take care of himself. PTSD is taking all his energy to cope with. You will be putting more into this relationship than you will get back out, at least for awhile. He may occasionally acknowledge some of what you do for him. Accept that as the precious gift that it is. It is a sign of his healing. Right now, it is all he has to give.

Rule #4: Do not judge.
She needs to talk abut it. It sucks to hear about it. Try to remember that living through it was worse. Now, because of PTSD, she is going over and over it in her mind. Reliving the horror everyday. This is what is making her sick. This is the poison that is eating away at her. Telling someone is like washing out a infected cut. It stings, it burns, it grosses out people, but it is the only way to get rid of the poison.

Her greatest need is to tell what happened. Her greatest fear is that if she tells, she will lose your love. You probably won’t understand what it was like and she may have done things you both know are wrong. She is afraid of being judged. She has already lost a big part of herself to this trauma. She can’t stand to lose you, too. And if she tells, maybe she will.

It will take a great deal of courage for her to talk about her trauma. So please listen, and don’t judge her. She is still the person you used to know. But she has been hurt, big time, and she is trying to piece her life back together. In time, she will see her actions clearly and make amends if necessary. But right now, she needs to tell someone and not be rejected for the telling. Here are some tips to help you listen to her story.

Rule #5: Have fun.
This is absolutely impossible when you are dealing with PTSD – and absolutely essential. You’ll just have to figure it out. He won’t want to, but maybe he will do it to humor you. He would rather wallow in his pain, but you’re not going to allow that. He is stuck and you can intend to help him get unstuck.

Watch a silly movie together. Gather some friends and play board games. Practice blowing soap bubbles. Buy one of those giant soap bubble rings and see if you can get it to work. Go for a walk and jump into, not over, the puddles. Eat watermelon, and have a seed spitting contest. If it’s the wrong time of year for watermelon, build a snowman instead.

Remind him of good times before his trauma and PTSD – look at your high school yearbook or old family pictures. Laugh together. Laughter is healing. So is your love.
source: http://www.heal-post-traumatic-stress.com/help-PTSD-sufferer.html

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Relationships and PTSD

How does trauma affect relationships?

Trauma survivors with PTSD may have trouble with their close family relationships or friendships. The symptoms of PTSD can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem solving. These problems may affect the way the survivor acts with others. In turn, the way a loved one responds to him or her affects the trauma survivor. A circular pattern can develop that may sometimes harm relationships.
How might trauma survivors react?

In the first weeks and months following a trauma, survivors may feel angry, detached, tense or worried in their relationships. In time, most are able to resume their prior level of closeness in relationships. Yet the 5% to 10% of survivors who develop PTSD may have lasting relationship problems.
Survivors with PTSD may feel distant from others and feel numb. They may have less interest in social or sexual activities. Because survivors feel irritable, on guard, jumpy, worried, or nervous, they may not be able to relax or be intimate. They may also feel an increased need to protect their loved ones. They may come across as tense or demanding.
The trauma survivor may often have trauma memories or flashbacks. He or she might go to great lengths to avoid such memories. Survivors may avoid any activity that could trigger a memory. If the survivor has trouble sleeping or has nightmares, both the survivor and partner may not be able to get enough rest. This may make sleeping together harder.
Survivors often struggle with intense anger and impulses. In order to suppress angry feelings and actions, they may avoid closeness. They may push away or find fault with loved ones and friends. Also, drinking and drug problems, which can be an attempt to cope with PTSD, can destroy intimacy and friendships. Verbal or physical violence can occur.
In other cases, survivors may depend too much on their partners, family members, and friends. This could also include support persons such as health care providers or therapists.
Dealing with these symptoms can take up a lot of the survivor’s attention. He or she may not be able to focus on the partner. It may be hard to listen carefully and make decisions together with someone else. Partners may come to feel that talking together and working as a team are not possible.
How might loved ones react?

Partners, friends, or family members may feel hurt, cut off, or down because the survivor has not been able to get over the trauma. Loved ones may become angry or distant toward the survivor. They may feel pressured, tense, and controlled. The survivor’s symptoms can make a loved one feel like he or she is living in a war zone or in constant threat of danger. Living with someone who has PTSD can sometimes lead the partner to have some of the same feelings of having been through trauma.
In sum, a person who goes through a trauma may have certain common reactions. These reactions affect the people around the survivor. Family, friends, and others then react to how the survivor is behaving. This in turn comes back to affect the person who went through the trauma.
Trauma types and relationships

Certain types of “man-made” traumas can have a more severe effect on relationships. These traumas include:
Childhood sexual and physical abuse
Rape
Domestic violence
Combat
Terrorism
Genocide
Torture
Kidnapping
Prisoner of war
Survivors of man-made traumas often feel a lasting sense of terror, horror, endangerment, and betrayal. These feelings affect how they relate to others. They may feel like they are letting down their guard if they get close to someone else and trust them. This is not to say a survivor never feels a strong bond of love or friendship. However, a close relationship can also feel scary or dangerous to a trauma survivor.
Do all trauma survivors have relationship problems?

Many trauma survivors do not develop PTSD. Also, many people with PTSD do not have relationship problems. People with PTSD can create and maintain good relationships by:
Building a personal support network to help cope with PTSD while working on family and friend relationships
Sharing feelings honestly and openly, with respect and compassion
Building skills at problem solving and connecting with others
Including ways to play, be creative, relax, and enjoy others
What can be done to help someone who has PTSD?

Relations with others are very important for trauma survivors. Social support is one of the best things to protect against getting PTSD. Relationships can offset feelings of being alone. Relationships may also help the survivor’s self-esteem. This may help reduce depression and guilt. A relationship can also give the survivor a way to help someone else. Helping others can reduce feelings of failure or feeling cut off from others. Lastly, relationships are a source of support when coping with stress.
If you need to seek professional help, try to find a therapist who has skills in treating PTSD as well as working with couples or families. For resources, please see our Where to Get Help for PTSD page.
Many treatment approaches may be helpful for dealing with relationship issues. Options include:
One-to-one and group therapy
Anger and stress management
Assertiveness training
Couples counseling
Family education classes
Family therapy

aource: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/ptsd-and-relationships.asp

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The weakest among us has a gift, however seemingly trivial, which is peculiar to him, and which worthily used, will be a gift also to hus race.

~Ruskin

Never scoff at another’s weakness or try to cover your own. Instead, encourage others and hold your weakness up to the world where it is in the open and can be healed.

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Now let’s take a look at the Passive Aggressive personality. I’m sure once you read how the passive aggressive personality operates, you can see why it would be an exceedingly unhealthy situation for a P.T.S.D sufferer to try to live in close quarters with someone who has passive aggressive tendencies.

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Relationships: Passive-Aggressive Men, Who Are They Hurting?

He Hurts Everyone in His Path, Including Himself

Their the men who seem so nice, and trustworthy. They don’t hurt you out in the open, but in a very subtle way, you may not even be aware of. Just the same, they can hurt the people they say they care about the most.
A passive-aggressive man usually grows up in a household which may have a parent who is either passive-aggressive, or overbearing and controlling. If he really has bad luck, he may grow up with both. Many marriages consist of individuals who are opposites, or fill an area for the other person they may be lacking in. It’s an unspoken deal so to speak, you be the passive one, and I’ll be the overbearing one. As the boys are growing up, somewhere along the way they choose to either identify with one parent or the other. If they see the overbearing and controlling parent as scary, they may come to believe they do not want to be like that parent, and go the other way. If they see the passive parent as weak and wimpy, they may choose to be like the overbearing and controlling parent. What I’m going to write about is the passive-aggressive man. When the boy decides to be weak, unassuming, and afraid to stand up for himself. Ergo, he asserts himself in passive aggressive ways. This ends up hurting allot of the people he truly cares for.

The passive aggressive man is very often seen as the nice guy that would do anything for anybody. He never says “NO”, at least not out loud, to any request anyone makes of him. He is often everybody’s token doormat. What most people don’t know is there’s a volcano ready to erupt inside this man. He is too afraid to speak up and tell you what he thinks. Therefore, he goes about his life sneaking around doing things he doesn’t want anybody to know about., getting back at people in ways that have nothing much to do with why he’s really mad, and not standing up to the person, or persons, he needs too. He then ends up hurting those he cares about, and puts them in the line of fire.

Often times when he gets into a relationship, or married, he ends up choosing very strong, overbearing, controlling women. Remember, what I said, people often pick the opposite of themselves, and then it gets them off the hook for ever having to learn how to be strong, and assertive themselves. This is where the problem begins. Because he has chosen to be with this Witch on Wheels, he can never directly confront her with ANYHING. He is too scared. This ends up effecting friends, other family members, and anyone involved with this type of man. You can be this man’s very best friend and if Mrs. Wonderful objects, you’re a goner. Oh, he will keep you as a friend, probably, but it will most definitely be behind his partners back. You will be stuck in drama world, with a half-assed friendship. You can never call him at home when you need to, he hides your e-mails, and you cannot spend anytime with your so-called friend, unless you’re very, very careful. You will always be walking on eggshells. It’s almost like your having an affair with him, without the benefits. This ends up hurting his friends, because his friendships are dictated by her. This is the so-called passive part of his problem

The aggressive part of this disorder ends up not only hurting him, but the woman he is with. No matter how mad he gets at her, he is NOT going to stand up for himself, or tell her how he feels. He is too scared to say a word. What this man will do, is while being the all-loving nice guy and doing the housecleaning, his woman’s favorite figurine might just accidentally get broken. He will sneak behind her back, to see other women, friends, and to do things he especially knows would make her angry. It’s the only way he knows how to stand up for himself. You can imagine how damaging to a relationship this can be. It can go so far, their relationship ends forever. Unfortunately, because he does all these things in private, it may be along time, if ever, when she figures it out. She really does believe he will always be the nice doormat she fell in love with. This definitely works to his benefit.

Last but not least, this seriously hurts the man who is passive-aggressive, more than anyone else. He never learns to assert himself, and never develops the self-esteem to say, “this is who I am”, out loud. Although he feels some momentary exhilaration when getting back at someone, he also feels deep shame, that he is not being a real man. He can suffer with depression at times, wondering who he is, and will anyone ever really know him. He is stuck in limbo. He’s afraid to be who he wants to be for fear of losing the woman he loves. At the same time, he’s not even sure why he loves her anyway. After all, isn’t she just there to make up for his inability to do for himself? That may just be the case.

Although most of the time the passive- aggressive man appears to be a quiet, nice, helpful, boy scout kind of guy, he truly is a very hurtful person. He hurts his friends, his partner, his family, and anyone else on his, quietly, secret, destructive path. This is a very serious disorder, and any chance of change, will have to come with allot of counseling, and allot of work on his part. However change is very hard. The longer this man has been this way, the longer it will take to recover. There is also the possibility he may not want to change. Like good old Dr. Phil says, people do what they do because there is some kind of payoff they’re getting out of that particular behavior. Whatever his choice, to change, or not to change, this can be one of the most difficult type of men to live with. That’s if you ever really know in the first place!

source: http://voices.yahoo.com/relationships-passive-aggressive-men-they-317967.html

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10 Common Passive Aggressive Phrases to Avoid

Have you heard (or spoken!) any of these phrases lately?

Published on November 23, 2010 by Signe Whitson, L.S.W. in Passive Aggressive Diaries

Is there someone in your life who consistently makes you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster? Do you know a person who is friendly one day but sulks and withdraws the next? Does a family member or friend consistently procrastinate, postpone, stall, and shut down any emotionally-laden conversations? Are you sometimes that person? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, chances are you may be interacting with a passive aggressive person or showing signs of passive-aggressive behavior yourself.

In The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces, 2nd ed., passive aggression is defined as a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings of anger (Long, Long & Whitson, 2008). It involves a range of behaviors designed to get back at another person without him recognizing the underlying anger. These ten common passive aggressive phrases can serve as an early-warning system for you, helping you recognize hidden hostility when it is being directed your way:

1. “I’m Not Mad.”

Denying feelings of anger is classic passive aggressive behavior. Rather than being upfront and honest when questioned about his feelings, the passive aggressive person insists, “I’m not mad” even when he is seething on the inside.

2. “Fine.” “Whatever.”

Sulking and withdrawing from arguments are primary strategies of the passive aggressive person. Since passive aggression is motivated by a person’s belief that expressing anger directly will only make his life worse (Long, Long & Whitson, 2008), the passive aggressive person uses phrases like “Fine” and “Whatever” to express anger indirectly and to shut down direct, emotionally honest communication.

3. “I’m Coming!”

Passive aggressive persons are known for verbally complying with a request, but behaviorally delaying its completion. If whenever you ask your child to clean his room, he cheerfully says, “Okay, I’m coming,” but then fails to show up to complete the chore, chances are he is practicing the fine passive aggressive art of temporary compliance.

4. “I Didn’t Know You Meant Now.”

On a related note, passive aggressive persons are master procrastinators. While all of us like to put off unpleasant tasks from time to time, people with passive aggressive personalities rely on procrastination as a way of frustrating others and/or getting out of certain chores without having to directly refuse them.

5. “You Just Want Everything to be Perfect.”

When procrastination is not an option, a more sophisticated passive aggressive strategy is to carry out tasks in a timely, but unacceptable manner. For example:

A student hands in sloppy homework
A husband prepares a well-done steak for his wife, though he knows she prefers to eat steak rare
An employee dramatically overspends his budget on an important project
In all of these instances, the passive aggressive person complies with a particular request, but carries it out in an intentionally inefficient way. When confronted, he defends his work, counter-accusing others of having rigid or perfectionist standards.

6. “I Thought You Knew.”

Sometimes, the perfect passive aggressive crime has to do with omission. Passive aggressive persons may express their anger covertly by choosing not to share information when it could prevent a problem. By claiming ignorance, the person defends his inaction, while taking pleasure in his foe’s trouble and anguish.

7. “Sure, I’d be Happy To.”

Have you ever been in a customer service situation where a seemingly concerned clerk or super-polite phone operator assures you that your problem will be solved. On the surface, the representative is cooperative, but beware of his angry smile; behind the scenes, he is filing your request in the trash and stamping your paperwork with “DENY.”

8. “You’ve Done so Well for Someone with Your Education Level.”

The backhanded compliment is the ultimate socially acceptable means by which the passive aggressive person insults you to your core. If anyone has ever told you, “Don’t worry-you can still get braces even at your age” or “There are a lot of men out there who like plump women,” chances are you know how much “joy” a passive aggressive compliment can bring.

9. “I Was Only Joking”

Like backhanded compliments, sarcasm is a common tool of a passive aggressive person who expresses his hostility aloud, but in socially acceptable, indirect ways. If you show that you are offended by biting, passive aggressive sarcasm, the hostile joke teller plays up his role as victim, asking, “Can’t you take a joke?”

10. “Why Are You Getting So Upset?”

The passive aggressive person is a master at maintaining his calm and feigning shock when others, worn down by his indirect hostility, blow up in anger. In fact, he takes pleasure out of setting others up to lose their cool and then questioning their “overreactions.”

Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201011/10-common-passive-aggressive-phrases-avoid

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The Passive Aggressive Man: He’s All About Control

Who is the passive aggressive man? Identify him and run for the hills.
If you’ve been in a relationship with him, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t be on the look-out because chances are you will cross paths with a passive aggressive man.

Who is the passive aggressive man? He is that guy who avoids responsibility and conflict through passivity and withdrawal. He is the “Nice Guy” who reels you in with his adoration and once you are in the game he turns the tables so quickly your head will swim until you decide to take a hike. Do You See His Potential or Who He REALLY Is?
More from YourTango: 11 Foolproof Pickup Lines To Score A New BFF

The Passive Aggressive Man…
1. Withholds to Punish: He says one thing but means another. Sure, he wants to go to a movie. He even appears to enjoy himself until later that night when he rejects you sexually. You see, he didn’t want to go to a movie but, his passivity would not allow him to own it. His fear of conflict means punishing you in covert ways for something you “made” him do. What better way to punish than withhold something he knows you want?

2. Fears Conflict: He will do anything to keep from arguing with you. He has been taught that anger is unacceptable. Well, expressing anger in an open, honest way is unacceptable and not something you will get from this guy. What you will get is a relationship with a man who avoids solving relationship problems, avoids taking responsibility for problems in the relationship and most importantly avoids making an intimate connection with you.

3. Plays The Victim: This poor guy can’t win for losing, in his mind anyway. He will not show for a dinner date but find it unreasonable that you are upset. It is after, all his bosses fault for making him work late. He could have picked his cell phone up and called but calling isn’t nearly as pleasurable as letting you sit and wait. You waiting on him gets his angries out at you. He gets to punish you and blame his boss…he is off the hook, a “good guy” who is the victim of an unreasonable woman who expects too much from him.

4. Is Forgetful: He forgets birthdays, anniversaries, anything important to you will be forgotten by him. My ex used to forget he needed something from me until the last minute. If there was a social event related to his work, I would get notice the day before. I spent a lot of time running around trying to prepare from something in a few hours that would normally take days.

5. Is Afraid of You: They want you but they don’t want to become attached to you! He is in a constant battle with himself to pursue then distance himself. According to Scott Wetlzer, author of Living With The Passive Aggressive Man. The passive aggressive man is “unsure of his autonomy and afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs, usually by trying to control you. He wants you to think he doesn’t depend on you, but he binds himself closer than he cares to admit. Relationships can become battle grounds, where he can only claim victory if he denies his need for your support.”

You have a lot of anger toward the passive aggressive man you are involved with. You just can’t figure out exactly what you are angry about. He is sweet, kind and loving. He never argues, does exactly what you wish. There must be something wrong with you or such a good man would want to have sex with you, remember your birthday, put effort into solving the problems in the relationship or just show up on time every once in a while. How Do You Manage Red Brain Anger?

And that is the trap women who are involved with passive aggressive men fall into, they become responsible for all that is wrong in the relationship. He keeps you hanging in by doing for you when he doesn’t want to, by never arguing, by being such a nice guy. All those puzzling behaviors that send the opposite message than the other negative behaviors send.

More from YourTango: Get Ready To Rumble! Pro Wrestlers Who Hooked Up Outside The Ring

That is why they call it “crazy making” behavior. The passive aggressive man is very good at appearing to be calm, cool and collected while you are going off the deep end. It isn’t his intent to frustrate, offend or cause you to feel guilty. He truly does only want to help.

The only issue, the kind of help he has to offer comes with a price. He has expectations he is unable to openly express and when you don’t meet those expectations you get resentment and covert punishment in return. And, you should never expect your expectations to be met, not even when you’ve expressed them in a clear, easy to understand fashion.

Want a relationship with a passive aggressive man to last? Become a mind reader and keep your expectations low.

source: http://www.yourtango.com/201063805/passive-aggressive-man-hes-all-about-control

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The Passive Aggressive

There are many childhood set ups for this way of coping but most often there is a domineering mother and a father who is ineffectual. There are power struggles in the marriage with one parent backing off and withdrawing. The boy feels trapped between choosing loyalties at home. He is afraid to compete with his father who is absent either physically or emotionally or perceived as being inadequate. In the typical mother dominant-father passive relationship, the boy learns that the job of being a man in relationship is to escape the woman’s needs and subsequent demands.

The young boy is not allowed to express his feelings and develop a sense of self. He wants his mother’s attention and care yet he resents her continual intrusion. His anger grows but he cannot express it so it becomes submerged and is expressed in an unconscious ‘You can’t tell me what to do.’ He is not allowed to get his way by direct confrontation and competition so he learns to displace his anger through resistance. He learns to use charm, stubbornness, resistance and withdrawal to protect himself in power struggles. He rebels by becoming moody, being an underachiever or developing behavior problems. His self protectiveness and duplicity from the squelched anger and hostility becomes a habit that he plays out with other women he meets. He desperately seeks a woman to meet his needs of being accepted for who he is, but puts her off with small, continual acts of rebellion. He replays the distancing drama of his original family in the relationship.

The man with passive aggressive behavior needs someone to be the object of his hidden hostility. He needs an adversary whose expectations and demands he can resist as he plays out the dance he learned from his parents. He chooses a woman who will agree to be on the receiving end of his disowned anger. He resists her in small ways setting up a pattern of frustration so that she gets to express the anger that he cannot.

The biggest irritant in being with a passive aggressive man is that he doesn’t follow through on his agreements and promises. He dodges responsibility while insisting he’s pulling his weight. He often ignores reality as to his irresponsibility and withdrawal. He denies evidence, distorts minimalizes or lies to make his version of reality seem logical.

He uses vague language to sandbag the partner. Inconsistency and ambiguity are his tools of choice. He withholds information and has a hidden agenda. He can’t take criticism and makes excuses to get himself off the hook. He sulks and uses silence when confronted about his inability to live up to his promises, obligations or responsibilities. When he doesn’t follow through, he puts the blame on his partner so he doesn’t have to take it and accuses her of having the problem.

The man with this type of pattern shows little consideration of the time, feelings, standards or needs of others. He obstructs and block progress to others getting what they want and then ignores or minimalizes their dissatisfactions and anger. He is silent when confronted as he has never learned to compromise. He may be a workaholic, a womanizer, hooked on TV, caught in addictions or self-involved hobbies.

He may have multiple relationships with women as a way of keeping distant from one fully committed relationship. He is confused about which woman he wants and stays caught between the two women in his life not being able to commit fully to either. He is confused and can’t understand why the women get so angry with him. He feels others demand too much of him so resists in overt and subtle ways and feels deprived if he must give in to others. The man who copes with conflict by not being there has strong conflict over dependency. He desperately wants attention but fears being swallowed up by the partner. He can’t be alone and live without a woman in his life, but can’t be with a partner emotionally. He’s caught in a Catch 22–wanting affection but avoiding it because he fears it as his destruction. He resents feeling dependent on the woman so must keep her off guard. He makes his partner feel like a nothing through his neglect or irritability but he keeps her around because he needs her. His script is ‘Be here for me, but don’t come too close and don’t burden me with your needs or expectations.’

He has such strong fears of intimacy deep in his unconscious mind so he must set barriers up to prevent a deep emotional connection. He is clever at derailing intimacy when it comes up by tuning out his partner and changing the subject. He must withhold part of himself to feel safe and may withdraw sexually. Closeness and intimacy during sex may make him feel vulnerable and panicked bringing forth his deepest fears of dependency upon a woman. The passive aggressive man lives an internal loneliness; he wants to be with the woman but stays confused whether she is the right partner for him or not. He is scared and insecure causing him to seek contact with a partner but scared and insecure to fully commit.

Due to the wounding from childhood, he is unable to trust that he is safe within the relationship. He fears revealing himself and can’t share feelings. His refusal to express feelings keeps him from experiencing his sense of insecurity and vulnerability. He often denies feelings like love that might trap him into true connection with another human being. He feels rejected and hurt when things don’t go his way but can’t distinguish between feeling rejected and being rejected. He pushes people away first so he won’t be rejected. He is often irritable and uses low-level hostility to create distance at home. The relationship becomes based on keeping the partner at bay. He often sets up experiences to get others to reject or deprive him. He is noncommittal and retreats, feeling put upon and burdened by partner’s requests for more closeness. He becomes a cave dweller to feel safe.

The man with passive aggressive actions is a master in getting his partner to doubt herself and feel guilty for questioning or confronting him. He encourages her to fall for his apologies, accept his excuses and focus on his charm rather than deal with the issue directly. He blames her for creating the problem and keeps her focused on her anger rather than his own ineptitude. When backed into a corner, he may explode and switch to aggressiveaggressive behavior then switch back to passivity. He keeps his partner held hostage by the hope that he will change. He may appease her and clean up his act after a blow up for several weeks, then it’s back to business as usual.

The passive aggressive man is the classic underachiever with a fear of competition in the work place. He cannot take constructive feedback from others. His fear of criticism, not following through and his inability to see his part in any conflict keeps him from advancing on the job.

You are not seen as a person with feelings and needs. They care for you the way they care for a favorite pair of slippers or an old easy-chair. You are there for their comfort and pleasure and are of use as long as you fill their needs. The sad thing is, they can sweet talk you, know all the right things to say, to make you believe that you are loved and adored by a someone who is completely unable to form an emotional connection with anyone.

If forced to deal with the problems you’re having due to their behavior, they will completely withdraw from the relationship and you. They will almost never admit that they were wrong no matter how much evidence you show. They have their own version of reality and will work at making your view distorted.

While most men are having sex with their partner in order to connect more deeply with her, the passive aggressive man withholds sex from his partner in order to keep himself safe and to show her who the boss is. Sex is a weapon to be used, not a way of connecting more emotionally.

These people are usually unaware that the difficulties they encounter in their life are the result of their own behavior. They do not connect their passive resistant behavior to the hostility or resentment other people feel towards them. Dealing with passive aggressive people can be crazymaking. You feel dismissed, shut down, ignored… but in a subtle enough way that you don’t know how to react. At some point, you explode.

He Hurts Everyone in His Path, Including Himself

They’re the men who seem so nice, and trustworthy. They don’t hurt you out in the open, but in a very subtle way, you may not even be aware of. Just the same, they can hurt the people they say they care about the most.

A passive-aggressive man usually grows up in a household which may have a parent who is either passive-aggressive, or overbearing and controlling. If he really has bad luck, he may grow up with both. When the boy decides to be weak, unassuming, and afraid to stand up for himself. Ergo, he asserts himself in passive aggressive ways. This ends up hurting allot of the people he truly cares for.

The passive aggressive man is very often seen as the nice guy that would do anything for anybody. He never says “NO”, at least not out loud, to any request anyone makes of him. He is often everybody’s token doormat. What most people don’t know is there’s a volcano ready to erupt inside this man. He is too afraid to speak up and tell you what he thinks. Therefore, he goes about his life sneaking around doing things he doesn’t want anybody to know about, getting back at people in ways that have nothing much to do with why he’s really mad, and not standing up to the person, or persons, he needs too. He then ends up hurting those he cares about.

Passive aggressive behavior stems from an inability to express anger in a healthy way. A person’s feelings may be so repressed that they don’t even realize they are angry or feeling resentment. A passive aggressive can drive people around him/her crazy and seem sincerely dismayed when confronted with their behavior. Due to their own lack of insight into their feelings the passive aggressive often feels that others misunderstand them or, are holding them to unreasonable standards if they are confronted about their behavior.

Common Passive Aggressive Behaviors:

They rarely mean what they say or say what they mean. The best judge of how a passive aggressive feels about an issue is how they act. Normally they don’t act until after they’ve caused some kind of stress by their ambiguous way of communicating.

The passive aggressive avoids responsibility by “forgetting.” How convenient is that? There is no easier way to punish someone than forgetting that lunch date or your birthday or, better yet, an anniversary.

He may never express anger. There are some who are happy with whatever you want. On the outside anyway! The passive aggressive may have been taught, as a child, that anger is unacceptable. Hence they go through life stuffing their anger, being accommodating and then sticking it to you in an under-handed way.

The passive aggressive often can’t trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone. A passive aggressive will have sex with you but they rarely make love to you. If they feel themselves becoming attached, they may punish you by withholding sex.

Do you want something from your passive aggressive spouse? If so, get ready to wait for it or maybe even never get it. It is important to him/her that you don’t get your way. He/she will act as if giving you what you want is important to them but, rarely will he/she follow through with giving it. It is very confusing to have someone appear to want to give to you but never follow through. You can begin to feel as if you are asking too much which is exactly what he/she wants to you to feel.

The Passive Aggressive and You:

The passive aggressive needs to have a relationship with someone who can be the object of his or her hostility. They need someone whose expectations and demands he/she can resist.

The biggest frustration in being with a passive aggressive is that they never follow through on agreements and promises. He/she will dodge responsibility for anything in the relationship while at the same time making it look as if he/she is pulling his/her own weight and is a very loving partner. The sad thing is, you can be made to believe that you are loved and adored by a person who is completely unable to form an emotional connection with anyone.

The passive aggressive ignores problems in the relationship, sees things through their own skewed sense of reality and if forced to deal with the problems will completely withdraw from the relationship and you. They will deny evidence of wrong doing, distort what you know to be real to fit their own agenda, minimize or lie so that their version of what is real seems more logical.

The passive aggressive will say one thing, do another, and then deny ever saying the first thing. The passive aggressive withholds information about how he/she feels, their ego is fragile and can’t take the slightest criticism so why let you know what they are thinking or feeling? God forbid they disclose that information and you criticize them.

Inside the Passive Aggressive:

The passive aggressive has a real desire to connect emotionally but their fear of such a connection causes them to be obstructive and engage in self-destructive habits. He will be covert in his actions and it will only move him further from his desired relationship with you.

The passive aggressive never looks internally and examines their role in a problem. They have to externalize it and blame others for having shortcomings. To accept that he has flaws would be tantamount to emotional self-destruction. They live in denial of their self-destructive behaviors, the consequences of those behaviors and the choices they make that cause others so much pain.

The passive aggressive objectifies the object of their desire. You are to be used as a means to an end. Your only value is to feed his own emotional needs. You are not seen as a person with feelings and needs but as an extension of him. You are there for their comfort and pleasure and are of use as long as you fill their needs.

The passive aggressive wants the attention and attachment that comes with loving someone but fears losing his independence and sense of self to his spouse. They want love and attention but avoid it out of fear of it destroying them. You have to be kept at arms length and if there is an emotional attachment it is tenuous at best.

I’m about to fill you in on a little secret. Anger plays a role in passive aggressive behavior. Yep, that passive aggressive spouse that is driving you insane is angry as hell and full of grief. The passive aggressive deals with anger in one of two ways. Either they have no control over their anger or they have problems expressing their anger.

Adults who have no control over their anger and those who have no idea how to express their anger are grieving. They are grieving the loss of something that was rightfully theirs. Their right to entertain themselves regardless of societies or their parent’s beliefs of what was right or wrong. The right to be heard and cared for regardless of how addicted a parent was to alcohol or drugs. They are grieving the right to express love or negative feelings or a desire for parental attention without fear of punishment.

It is about loss, the loss of normal things any child should expect from a parent. Instead of grieving that loss in a normal way, they internalize it and compensate by being overly aggressive or overly passive. The grief shows itself in behaviors that are destructive to themselves and anyone who engages in a relationship with them.

A man who abuses his wife is often motivated by feelings of loss and grief. Feelings that are expressed through rage. Women who emotionally manipulate their husband by withholding affection are motivated by the same feelings of loss and grief.

The aggression or passivity hides their fear of rejection and helplessness when it comes to getting what they need from their spouse. The spouse is left reeling and wondering what he/she did to deserve a slap across the face or the withholding of normal loving affection.

The spouse feels responsible in some way. That is the sneaky thing about living with a passive aggressive individual. They don’t know how to properly express anger but they are geniuses when it comes to shifting the blame and projecting their own bad behavior off onto their spouse.

Next time you are trying to make sense of some nonsensical behavior by your spouse remember you are dealing with a wounded, damaged child. Don’t make excuses for him/her. Don’t take responsibility for their inability to properly express their grief and anger. Understanding why someone acts the way they do does not mean excusing their hurtful actions.

Knowledge is power.

source: http://mailmandelivers.net/passive-aggression/

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Image title: Maiden, Mother, Crone title by: Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer Image by: The Art of Breezy Kiefair source image: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=555469131139767&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F603947_555469131139767_1142977912_n.jpg&size=251%2C750 source image description:  Title: Banshee Breezy, Be afraid Title By: Breezy Kiefair Image by: Breezy Kiefair of The Art of Breezy Kiefair

Image title: Maiden, Mother, Crone
title by: Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer
Image by: The Art of Breezy Kiefair
source image: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=555469131139767&set=a.151763424843675.27293.100000300558421&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F603947_555469131139767_1142977912_n.jpg&size=251%2C750
source image description:
Title: Banshee Breezy, Be afraid
Title By: Breezy Kiefair
Image by: Breezy Kiefair of The Art of Breezy Kiefair

If a passive aggressive personality and a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sufferer team up for business, romance, or friendship, the likely end result will be a lot of drama and hurt feelings. No matter if the passive aggressive person realizes what they are doing or not is irrelevant. No matter if the passive aggressive is aware or not, they are presenting a veiled threat with their words and behaviors to the P.T.S.D personality. The P.T.S.D. personality cannot help but sense this threat. It primes the P.T.S.D mind for an adrenaline response and begins putting the P.T.S.D. person into hyperarousal or hypervigilance territory. From this place, it truly takes a small stimuli to take the P.T.S.D. personality from primed for action, to a complete adrenaline response/meltdown. The Passive Aggressive person’s tendencies are then to punish the P.T.S.D. personality for their moment of weakness. This punishment will then feed into the P.T.S.D. again creating a cyclical hell that is very difficult to escape. I lived in this passive aggressive/ptsd generated hell from November 2011 until August 2013. I’m just beginning to come out of they cyclical thoughts and hell that being romantically involved with a passive aggressive while I am suffering from P.T.S.D. It is my hope that the research I sought out to understand my own situation may help others on both the passive aggression side and the PTSD side of this equation improve their own experience.

much love, Breezy Kiefair.

DIY Cannabis Cure oil healing: The tale of Wren

view on youtube http://youtu.be/X2h5s5uidTQ

IN 32 DAYS

Figure 1 Day 1

Figure 1 Day 1

Figure 2 Day 14

Figure 2 Day 14 there are a couple more on the top of my head and I am hoping they too are looking better.

Figure 3 Day 21

Figure 3 Day 21

Figure 4 Day 32 Thank you so much for being here to see this with me.

Figure 4 Day 32

Thank you so much for being here to see this with me.

A CANNABIS OIL SUCCESS STORY a 60 day journey back to living.

wren on pills

This was me on 3 fists full of prescription meds per day. Yes, I needed to take meds just to take their meds and I had gained nearly 100 pounds for no other reason than all those drugs. I the span of seven years, they had prescribed 72 different drugs. Seemed that every time I went in for a check up, they diagnosed me with another thing and handed me a bottle of pills. UGH!

wren a year and a half after

This was taken about a year and a half after the adverse reaction to a SAFE med that was to curb nausea. My body has been twisted in several locations and much of my days were spent in a chair. The pain levels have been excruciating and relentless due to acquired Tardive Dyskenisia/Dystonia, http://www.tardivedyskinesia.com/

http://www.tardivedyskinesia.com/common-associations/Dystonia/symptoms.php

I fought with vertigo while sitting still on a daily basis, Often, the right side of my face felt as though bugs were crawling on it but the feeling was only the muscles in my face rippling. As with Tardive Dyskenisia?Dystonia, my swallowing was not always possible, even liquids were choking hazards. The abnormal facial movements loosened up all my teeth causing a few years of infections and extractions., 2 by 6 they came out I lost 98 pounds, Before that drug, I had been using cannabis in smoked form to curb nausea and give me an appetite for years. The only reason I stopped cannabis was so that I could attend college and be a law abiding person

Where there is a pulse, there is hope

.After the onset of these problems I had torso tics, turrets like symptoms and often speech problems, stuttering and low ruff growly voice. Words were forced out like dried ole boots. To sign my name without ripping the paper was not an option. Having all this grief brought on by the American Medical System, I was scared stiff about going back to be doctored but I did for awhile. I needed to find out what the hell they did to me. As for accepting any more of their medicine, I went home to rot on my own. My heart that was once strong started a long iffy streak in me, not knowing if I would wake up, and the sad part was… I had stopped caring to. Started praying for death to come get me. In my 8 years of wasting, I was so tired and worthless every day. Skin cancer been cropping up and my lymph nodes had given me the finger. No appetite, no hope.
*** Where there is a pulse, there is hope***

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

Am making Cannabis Oil today. It’s been a long time gathering but looks like the green light came on so wish me luck. this cancer near my left eye has been starting to worry me. another larger on in my hair on top of head. Doc wanted to send me to a specialist. Without naming names, I told her I already have one, Cannabis.

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

Am not afraid, just know I need to deal with this now with positive forces.

It must be in the cards as a most pleasant surprise came when I stared emptying the clippings bag… found some I did not remember. It will be enough for now.

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

Thank you,. been saving up for what seemed an eternity. Was holding off for a really rainy day.

Breezy Kiefair

Its raining now

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

Yes

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

wrens cook 1

Things went well in the kitchen. I used the stock pot to bath the raw cannabis in everclear for 2 hours, mashing it with a potato masher every half hour. Strained and rinses raw material again with everclear putting the oil infused solution into a glass pitcher. Next I poured solution into the slow cooker, about 3 inches deep and turned it to high. As the solution evaporated, I added more until it was all most all evaporated.

wrens cook 2

I poured the oil into a glass bowl and set the entire bowl back into the slow cooker to finish to proper consistency. When the oil has no more bubbles appearing on top, it is ready to put into container of your choice. I chose a few 20cc syringes because they are easier to dose from if a person does not have gel caps. The end product was not as much as anticipated but it will work for now. it will be enough to clear up my immediate eruptions. this is what I used under my right breast 3 winters ago Breezy. that one never came back.

Breezy Kiefair

hugs and good for you lady!

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

by the time all the oil was in containers, there was a little over 3 oz. I started ingesting this morning.

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

a little dose will do ya

ty I will. started off low and this feels pretty good. yes, I will need to work up to full dose as I have never ingested before. Thank you for being here to share my experience with. Don’t forget, you have a candle and cushion inside the festive circle under the moon tonight. Hugs

a little dose will do ya 2

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

I was profusely ill the first 4 days of ingesting oil. I do not believe that it was the oils fault as I am prone to days on end of flu like symptoms one regular basis. The thing I notice most so far is my ability to breath and have a better O2 level.

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

um in my healing, I got a boner and am thinkin about sharing it with somebody. not just anybody, but somebody.

well, not a real boner, but the connections that give good enough reason for my boner.

It is quite obvious here that I am waking to real life again sis.

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

no….not a boner,… it’s my chubbie, … waking up after 12 years.

Wren Déjà Vu SmilingDeer

that’s ok Breezy, I woke up this morning over it. I put over there in the caution bin.

Cannabis Oil Day 10: per history I have been living with vertigo for quite a long time. The daily episodes would last from a few hours, to off and on all day. I am telling you this because today I HAD NO VERTIGO.
I have been on 1/2 to 2/3 gram twice a day. I increased the dose to one gram at night after first week as I started this journey to heal from the past 8 years of wasting and it’s repercussions.
Oh, and the oil I am using is NOT Butane made. I suggest Everclear, a grain alcohol.
8 years and counting, the wasting away has been relentless, excruciatingly painful and often hideous to watch. The US Supreme court has blocked all venues so the the drug companies do not have to pay for the damage done. People, when this was prescribed to me, I was Assured it was a safe stomach medicine. FUCKING LIES!!! It caused a stroke, damaged my heart and gave me an existence worse than death. I did not die, I suffer so the drug companies can continue their agenda to keep us ALL needing them. Please STOP the madness and start SCREAMING, No one is Immune to this shit and I PRAY it has not happened to you.
on my cheek. My mind is being blown away, I am in total AWE.
Boy am I an airhead! I was so happy about yesterday that I totally blew off, forgot about’ this mornings dose of cannabis oil. mid afternoon I was back in vertigo mode and sad that it had come back. DUH, the oil does NO GOOD in the bottle, so I took the evening dose. Within under 5 minutes the vertigo was gone again. This is wonderful stuff
There is an increase on my relaxed state and it is causing me to sleep earlier at night. Lower pain, No nausea, No vertigo, No severe tremors, No torso tics. That’s fine, it’s what the body needs to heal.
The real kicker here is that I stopped using cannabis for my stomach and tried to be obedient to the laws of Big Pharma. VERY BAD IDEA!!!!!!
End of day 12, cannabis oil made by grain alcohol. another blessed day without vertigo. the spots of crap growing on my face were left uncovered today. In the morning I will get a good picture of them before applying more oil. Feeling? The tops of my arms, across my neck and including my throat have been tingling, not my hands and feet, They are like small patches of cool tingles, almost airy. If this oil truly can cure then maybe this is the feeling of fixing all those swollen lymph nodes. Time will tell.
Oh, one more thing, this is refreshing.
Holy Sheep Sheets Batman. I feel really good this morning. I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore Toto.
There is an increase on my relaxed state and it is causing me to sleep earlier at night. That’s fine, it’s what the body needs to heal.
Definitely not Kansas. Blessed Be! I will pst a couple pics at the end of the day to show the progress on those cancerous spots
I started 12 days ago. My vertigo is back in check and I am looking forward to the rest of the oil treatment.
where there is a pulse, there is hope.
even in my giving up, death did not come, so now I fight like hell to get me back.
!t wasn’t until my body started popping out some cancer that I decided to use cannabis oil. I was not even thinking about the Dyskenisia/Dystonia But now, I see that my last resort should have been the First Resort.
Yes the safe stomach med gave me TD after having been on it for 2 1/2 years. After the fact, I learned that it was FAULTY BY DESIGN. what the hell does that mean? It just reinforced what I already knew about routing perfectly good productive people into the arms of big pharma. Hate does not even begin to cover it.
I am keeping notes, the MDs already know it works, and they are cruel for not doing the right thing here.
I for one am deeply grateful for having been taught to make this oil with a grain alcohol. Lord knows there are plenty of bad things already wearing me down, I sure do not want to add to the grief if I have options.
Day 14. Who is this lady that returned from the walking dead? IT’S ME!!!! And it could be you too.
Tardive Dyskenisia/Dystonia, some long standing lymphomas and recurring basal cell carcinomas, there are many things that have been needing fixed, like the vertigo and chronic fatigue, and the wrenching and torquing of my anatomy.
been a little whoozy today. gonna blame it on the heat.
I will be bringing these pics and all my notes with me when I see the specialist on Thursday for my 3 month check in. He better not tell me to Stop what I am doing again. Because I will NOT!
DAY 15, I feel GOOD 
Thank you Claud, for 8 years there has been far more bad days than good. The winds are changing and the seas are calming. I pray this for Everyone.
Day 16, Today is lab day with the docs. I intend to knock their balls out of park. Wish the old lady some luck. See ya’ll when I get home.
Thank you friends. it’s been a very long day. been poked, prodded, pushed pulled, twisted, scanned, and attempted scammed, and bodily fluids scrutinized. I’M HOME, FIRE IN THE BOWL!
Day 17 of cannabis oil treatment: Reporting for duty ma’am. I am strong enough to carry my own gear, I am ready.
Well, ma’am says no, there will be no mud pie making out of me for 2 more weeks. She said that just because I feel stronger, she wants to give me more time that I really feel I do not need. She told me to use these 2 weeks as a REAL Vacation. Pfft, as if I remember what that is. lol help me out here.
Each day I am grateful to tears about living again.
Day 18: it used to annoy me to have a tune stuck in my head but waking up with this one playing in there. 
indeed it beats the alternatives, I had been praying for death to come get me.
End of Day 18: things are going well with the cannabis oil treatment. I did use up a bit more adrenalin than usual today while schooling a jackass but I am doing fine now. On a lighter note, has anyone else noticed that this oil can taste down right nasty if it does not get washed down and melts in the back of your mouth? Oh HECK NO, I am not complaining here. It’s working and I don’t mind. Bless and be Blessed. See you tomorrow.
DAY 19: The oil is doing what it should. Alas, the folks here in this town see me getting stronger and I am NOT safe here.
my head is remaining up. What can they do to me that has not already survived?
thank you Pamela, I am calm, I am ok. It just took an extra bowl to stop the shaking today. I will be alright. Tried to get a good updated pic of my cancer but hands to shaky. will try again in an hour.
ty Claud, and bless you hugely. xxx the stress of home issues and the ways of the world today has stolen my appetite. Now would be a good time for me to stay focused on healing. body can’t heal when it is left unattended to worry about things that will not even matter if I am not well enough. Huge Hugs .xxx
you ladies have done it now, ya made me cry. indeed not sad tears but the kind than wash away the pain. sometimes when one is left all alone at the watch tower for too long, they loose sight of the light and cannot find their way back to it. Bless and be Blessed Sistas Much Love always.
End of Day 19: hit a small snag today because I allowed myself to get angry last night. Spent most of the day trying to get my legs and hands to calm down and swallowing was also incomplete. At 4pm, I finally started feeling better and took a few mor pics of the cancer on my cheek. will get them downloaded and post in the morning. At the end of the day, please let me say thank you Everyone, and I could not get through some of this without you. good night, Zeus and I are going to take a walk along the creek. Xxx
Day 20: Time to sparkle and Dazzle. Time to dance among the sun rays and shake some shit loose. Cannabis has not corrected my stupid. Update pics are not scheduled unlit tomorrow. Yesterday ended in a good place, bye bye yesterday, hello life I want to tell you all today that life is exciting. Last night while I was laying down to sleep, I gave myself another self exam looking for those 3 lymphomas. The 2 marble sized ones have not been found in days and the big one, the one that was the size of a silver dollar is getting hard to palpate. Hey peeps, I have lived with these for several years, refusing to let big pharma finish what they started 8 years ago. I am DRUG FREE and getting my anatomy back in check. But the thing that really makes my tah tahz stick out, I am curing myself, my way. Blessed Be, why did I waits so long.
I hope you all can fit a bit of play in your day. Hugs
Starve Big Pharma Starve. If I ran the zoo you would be dead by now.
not burdening the tax payers with my health issues is PRICELESS.
…and another thing that is true. My heart has stopped reminding me that every breath I take could be my last.
….and something really wonderful must be going on inside me, for I have the most beautiful poo I have ever seen. true story!
“I love talking turd, and I’m not ashamed to say it! Turd, turd, turd. It’s time we all stop hiding behind our toilet paper squares and start understanding one of the most important parts of our everyday well-being — poop”! http://kriscarr.com/blog/your-guide-to-healthy-poop/
I do not have MS, but I do have Tarvive Dyskenisia/Dystonia and the oil has given me back much! just last month, most days all I could do was click a mouse.
End of Day 20: Taking my life back is going well, all I had to do is change the C to G, or in my case, drugs of illness to oil of wellness.
I’ll Take a Melody (Toussaint) – Jerry Garcia – Reflections (1976)
www.youtube.com
Day 21: I also need to make note that I do still have that excruciating ice pick feeling in the middle of my back off and on throughout the day. there has been a long history of this with some of the trigger points back there.I was hoping that since the wrenching and twisting and jerking have calmed that the pain would get off it’s kick. When it hurts real bad, I lay down on my back and position two rubber, air inflated spheres under the center of my back. These are instant heaven and it only takes the effort of lying down and relaxing a minute. BONUS: NO NASTY SIDE AFFECTS I considered increasing the oil but can manage the really ruff times with those therapy spheres.
looking forward to seeing what the next 20 will be like. Good night everybody.
My boxer used to push his snoot into the place where the lymphomas were growing, now he thinks I need his grooming and inspections. What is up with dag???????????
he has never been like this before and I wonder if he isn’t been dabbing while I am asleep. he used to push his snoot into the top outer area of my left tah tah and snort, now he just tries to give a a doggie bath arms legs and neck… actually drools then he smells my feel. I think my dag’s gone crazy. day 21 of oil treatment. I imagine I do smell different.
I do let doctors check but they don’t get to doctor on me anymore. They messed me up huge the last time I trusted them. Hence I resigned to die this was for a few more years. toward the end, even praying for death to come get me. when I did not die, I decided I was going to try the oil. OH MY GOODNESS DENA! Oh My Goodness! so many days where I could do nothing but sit very still and click a mouse. Now… I am up and moving every waking minute. busying my hands with a purpose.
yes, I am breaking the laws in my state. But Yes, I have saved them what they love most, $$$$$ my healing is costing No One a single penny, and that makes me feel good too.
he already let me know he knew that, but what I can’t understand today is, Why is he so compelled to come over and give me a couple licks lately. so he is in approval with his sloppy kisses? Good Doggie End of Day 21: I feel GOOD! and I am hoping you do too.
Day 22: A milestone in that my health is indeed improving, so are my thought processes and outlook on the world in general. much less anxiety gives more time to use my head. I know, and thanks for baring with me through the muk. I’m sure it’s not over for good, but it is BETTER
If I had but one wish, I would wish that people would overcome their fears, whatever they may be, and take back their lives. Not one person needs to die for Big Pharma. Unless maybe for some misconception that you don’t think you deserve to live. Please Get Well soon my lovelies, your world is waiting for you.
Day 23: I have been eating better these days, but as I grow more physically active, the realization is that there is still a ways to go. The past 23 days have been more than amazing for one who has been ill so long. I have been using 1/2 gram oil in the morning and 3/4 gram at bedtime. When I know for sure that all the lymphoma is gone, I may need to consider dividing doses differently. There is a pattern of my Tardive Dyskenisia/Dystonia flares up that indicate adjustments to splitting and timing heading back to tie some knots. here is a positive tune for your days. 
the long and crushingly stagnet days of being sick and tired of being sick and tired are gone. Yes, I still need to manage pain better and there are still times when the tics are still noticeable to others. The observation for today is that I have not had a bad day since beginning this journey. Today I notice that days are going by so quickly.
AND… the granddaddy of the lymphomas has gone from the diameter of a silver dollar to the size of a pea. I’ve been on No other medications so I know exactly what’s up here.
may be helpful.
Day 24: I love all deeply. yet I also have extreme deep hate for the machine that has brought so many to their sufferings and death. Self expression has taken a hit via so many pharmaceuticals that either masked the anger or intensified it. I’ve been away from the last psych med for 24 days now and am learning what I should have come to know decades ago. Do psych meds keep a person from natural developments? HECK YES! Just look at each and every mass shooter and you have your answer.
Even george zimmerman was and still is on psych meds. So if folks out here are wanting to love me back to a more stable existence, my prayers today are that no one gives up. I won’t stop trying until my better is my best.
Antidepressants increased the risk compared to placebo of suicidal thinking and behavior (suicidality) in children, adolescents, and young adults in short-term studies of major depressive disorder (MDD) and other psychiatric disorders. Anyone considering the use of Celexa or any other antidepressant in a child, adolescent, or young adult must balance this risk with the clinical need. Short-term studies did not show an increase in the risk of suicidality with antidepressants compared to placebo in adults beyond age 24; there was a reduction in risk with antidepressants compared to placebo in adults aged 65 and older. Depression and certain other psychiatric disorders are themselves associated with increases in the risk of suicide. Patients of all ages who are started on antidepressant therapy should be monitored appropriately and observed closely for clinical worsening, suicidality, or unusual changes in behavior. Families and caregivers should be advised of the need for close observation and communication with the prescriber. Celexa is not approved for use in pediatric patients. (See WARNINGS: Clinical Worsening and Suicide Risk, PATIENT INFORMATION, and PRECAUTIONS: Pediatric Use.)
Celexa (Citalopram Hydrobromide) Drug Information: Description, User Reviews, Drug Side Effects,…
www.rxlist.com
Learn about the prescription medication Celexa (Citalopram
after 5 years of consuming this crap, doc comes to me and says,” Um 40mg per day can cause heart problems and death. YOU ARE IN DANGER”. Gee Thanks for the warning doc, and yes I have been having quite a time trying to stay alive. 24 day away from that and the engorged veins to my head are no longer feeling like they will explode when i laugh. LITERALLY! It was Depressing in and of it’sellf so actually this drug did NOT work. only made me worse off.
….and ANOTHER THING: with each new prescription refill, there would be a change in brands. This was another factor. Brands vary and the content within also varied. each time they made a switch from one to another, I had to readjust to it.
I relied heavily upon Bob Marley, Jerry Garcia and a bowl to help me with coping when it seems my last nerve just waltzed out.
…and, For the life of me, I swear…my mind can go from wondering if it was a mob of zombies that killed Jesus to  In 00.0001 second. So Frustrating! Thank you M. chronic illness can drive a person absolutely bonkers on so many levels. according to the statistics, Lots of Bonkered people and a lot of people to share what we have come to know with. http://www.chronicdiseaseimpact.com/
She’s talking about CANNABIS
Katie Couric
Katie Couric (@katiecouric) is an award-winning journalist and TV personality, well-known cancer advocate, and New York Times best-selling author The Best Advice I Ever Got: Lessons From Extraordinary Lives. Couric joined the Disney/ABC Television Group in Summer 2011 and serves as special correspo…
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Top of Form

July 19 at 2:04pm

It means that you are about to be bent over and corn holed because the systems has just ASSUMED you into playing The Sick Roll. RUN! RUN LIKE HELL!!! http://invisibleillnessweek.com/2011/08/18/what-does-it-mean-to-accept-your-chronic-illness-diagnosis/
What Does it Mean to Accept Your Chronic Illness Diagnosis
invisibleillnessweek.com
Acceptance is one the toughest things that anyone of us has to do. Whether we are accepting the loss of loved one, moving to new town because of a job transfer, getting divorced, or accepting that we have to live with sickness and pain, acceptance isn’t easy. With chronic illness, the sooner you acc…

The poor zombies don’t even know they are zombies. We as a rational people can stop our own madness when we stop believing that poisoning yourselves is better.Bottom of Form

The poor zombies don’t even know they are zombies. We as a rational people can stop our own madness when we stop believing that poisoning yourselves is better.
am so deeply grateful that people are starting to understand the underlying causes of more grief than good, Thanks for taking your own stands about it and your lives. I love you all,
I have a bipolar diagnosis. years back the lithium became toxic levels and I was told to keep taking it even though I was in emergency room 6 hours dry heaving after several days of it already, It was killing me, and I was told to keep taking it. Pfft! All I needed way to find a buffer between haters and my sanity. So I turned away from pills and picked up music, No nasty side affects
… and cannabis! Cannabis is my only medication right now and for the first time in over 8 years, I have more good days than bad. Blessed I am
Day 25: my mind is like a pan of boiling water today, so many thoughts, so little time. a tall glass of shut the hell up and some of these beads, off to busy these hands. : This mp4 player full of mostly Blues and Classic Rock are an excellent buffer between the loudness of the outside world and my ptsd. I am convinced, without then, the body count would be high. lol
End of day 26: I need to make note that I am feeling the healing that’s taking place with those lymph nodes the past couple days. I can still palpate the largest one but it is getting harder, so all good there. . Been spending more time outdoors and getting some much needed fresh air, even wearing short, I NEVER wear shorts. well, in healing I must be tasting better also…the crawly creature that got into my clothes while out weeding, managed to elude capture and has made quite a meal of me. Keeping my hands and mind busy are a blessing, and I don’t worry about dying anymore either.
Unfortunately a month ago I was so tired of being so sick and tired all the time, praying for death to just come get me. watching what was left of me waste away for 8 years had taken every last desire and aspiration, I just thought it was enough. MY HOW THINGS CHANGE!
Yes, we either get busy living or we get busy dying. Ya know something Claud, I have always been a puff puff pass kinda person, It mellowed me down just fine, but really taking it up a notch with cannabis oil is a lot different. The first thing I noticed was No vertigo while sitting still. I am actually up and moving most of the day now.
The lymphoma showed up after a few years of dental problems brought on by the Dyskenisis/Dystonia. before that, it was said I had great teeth. The abnormal movements in my jaws and tongue pushed them loose. then came the infections as doc tried in vein to prolong the inevitable. so many rounds of antibiotics and the infections just kept coming. when infection runs so deep that it makes it’s own routes out of the body, they become like an open ended boils in the top of my gums. I was worried for the bone tissue. By the time the infections stopped coming there were 14 lymph nodes in, ‘sick of this shit’ mode. 11 of angry mob went back to sleep. 3 decided to keep expanding their perimeters. To deal with them would mean that I would have to turn yet again to the same system that messed me up good n proper a few times already so I declined. And resigned myself to live with them as my grandmother had done.
Been feeling so alive lately, it would be a shame if it was anything but healing pains. The 1.4 grams of oil per day does not make me high either. It’s ok… I feel good. yes, I still get pain but I feel Good.
Day 27: Big Sigh… officially back to work, gave em 10 I know, I know, and last week WAS my ease into period. Per history a day like today would have had me crying uncle by noon. Got a lot accomplished today. It has been awhile since my feet have gnarled up and it’s been awhile since my swallower locked up. No choking! Life is Good! Good night And Get Well Soon. 
there are still problems but I’m not gonna sweat the small stuff right now.
Day 28: The lymph nodes seems angry the past couple days. I have been trying to find words to describe how the feeling. Dull ache, kind of like a dull pinch. I have felt this before but don’t understand why now. Now that the swellings are all but gone., the pain should also take a hike don’t ya think? Am wondering if this is normal, or am I loosing my marbs? Other than that, No worries.
Day 29: STAY POSITIVE. Ok Life, I am ready for you. Are you ready for me?

Heart – Straight On (Live-HQ)
www.youtube.com
Recorded in Seattle, during the last show of their 2002 Summer Of Love Tour, sisters Ann and Nancy Wilson and company put on one fantastic performance. New m…
Day 30: WHAT A MONTH! Thank You EVERYONE for having info out there that is saving so many from suffering and even death. The last resort should have been the first choice. So many of the ills are either calmer or gone completely. am continuing the oil treatment another 30 days at 1/2 gram twice a day for the lymphoma, but YES, I am doing so much better. The Diskenisia/Dystonia symptoms are so much less noticeable to others. maybe they will not be staring so much now. No matter, I feel great and the twinkle is back. Hey kids, that is Huge coming from someone that had given up on trying to stay alive. Don’t give up, Not ever.
People Are Trying to Tell You Something. Please Listen.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=473460112745637
What? What is that ungodly stench wafting through the air?
It’s the smell of Big Pharma dying
tears here as well, grateful… very very grateful to be better.
spent the day outdoors in the fresh air finishing up the second layers to the hemp chokers. they are looking pretty good, lots of color this time. I am able to get more done in the shop these days. It used to take hours to put on a straight row of beads. to relieve some minuet pain in my left side and breast, I have taken to some simple massage to help move lymph from the affected areas. That really feels good and yes, there is itching, intense at times and it is quite welcome.
yes ingested and topical application. So much has changes during July. A month long steeped in grief for the loss of my mate 30 years back. July has always been clouded by horror and longing. Oh I still have that, but this time something wonderful also came during July. Now, it will be a few more years before we hook back up in the spirit world, and today, that’s ok, I can accept that my deeds here are not finished.
was up at the butt crack of dawn, dog and I went foraging in the woods. found some useful things as well as much needed time with my place of origin. Ahhh, when we got home, we realized we have enough, so life is not so worrisome. I took a few good updated pis of my left cheek today, Day 32 of cannabis oil treatment. OH MY will try again to get them into the computer so I can show everybody. Yes, it’s going away too
Hey sweeties, I got something ta show ya…..32 day of Cannabis Oil treatment on basal cell carcinoma Am Blissing. thank you everybody, it is so much more than believed could happen and one more Believer.
thank you Brandon, even while my head was up my ass in so much illness, I did manage to do this one right. Have you noticed, the loss of negativity and a more workable bullshit filter? I think the oil fixed that too. No more tv crap just real info, haven’t gamed either. now that I can move about freely, I see no reason to continue a burning butt from sitting on it. Those were long days indeed.
I have been dosing a little on the high side Brandon. I don’t feel stoned at all just a good feeling of well being. I have been drinking a lot of milk to help with the tummy. I used all the dry plant material I had to make this batch. I miss smokin a bowl but certainly not complaining. better to live to get stoney another day. oh, the plants I grow are an afgani strain. I’ve tried in vein to get Bubblegum and Blueberry to maturity, but Sheesh! they are some touchy ladies.
if you look just below the area that has just healed by cannabis oil, there is a pink area. This is a pitted scar from having some froze a few years ago.

Day 38: no, I am taking no meds for him to med check anymore thanks to cannabis oil. been having a great deal of pain in butt and legs because of sciatic nerve. started butt crunches and it will be better soon. saw my psych doctor today, he said that he has no reason to continue seeing me if I am not eating their drugs anymore. He said I look great, noticed my gate is smoother than it’s been since 2006 with far less restrictions to range of motion, far less stuttering and arm flailing. . . . Hmmm there is still some pain that comes and goes with those lymph nodes but I do not detect anything of concern anymore by self exams. It feels so good to be able to get myself to town and back, and still put in a full afternoon at the shop. Fatigue and vertigo kept me shiftless for so long, I dare not waste another second fermenting

Day 40: I would rather have the pain than the lethargy. I haven’t been worrying so much lately about collapsing to the floor, coming to and dragging myself to the chair and collapsible again, not giving a poo if I woke up. sometimes living alone is ok. It doesn’t subject others to wonder with me. Lol

August 9th. Day 50: life is better in so many ways. The only glaring problem left is this excruciating relentless stabbing pain in my back. Now comes the exercise to build back some muscle so this pain is not so pissy. Yep, that’s what’s up. Holistic life style

never have been able to tolerate opiates and acetaminophen is no better. Now that I am up and moving around, surely I could use this time to correct not cover a problem

there must be something wrong with that trigger point Wanda. It all the time feels like my back is going to rip apart. have been using a tens unit again. and am thinking that by my newfound mobility, I have riled the beasts again. Hope in time that it will grow to love me again. Lol

Day 60: Oh my Goodness! So much has changed the past 2 months. I’ve been up and moving without restrictions. The lymph nodes are still sending up phantom pains now and then but there is No abnormalities to be palpated. The skin cancer on my cheek has been gone for a couple weeks and I am eating much better also. During this past 2 months I also went off the last of the psych meds the doctor thought I should eat. Good thing for me in that the crap was killing the most important things I have, a heart and a brain. People Need those and it saddens me to see so many that do not yet understand what is happening to them via the drugs the government says are safe, ARE NOT SAFE.
~Blessed Be the Cannabis Oil~

Over 420 People say FREE RONNIE SMITH

The Next Court Dates for Ronnie are

Attend the next court hearing for Ronnie Smith / Roland A. Duby
June 17, 2013
at 8:30 am Pacific
Superior Court – Camp Verde
2840 N. Commonwealth Drive
Camp Verde, AZ 86322

can’t attend that one?
Attend the Court hearing
June 24, 2013
at 3pm Pacific
Yavapai County Courthouse –
Prescott
120 South Cortez Street
Prescott, AZ 86303

Ronnie and I appreciate all the support. Keep us in your prayers.  The Art of Breezy Kiefair

Please join this campaign: http://chn.ge/1b9gWGU

Over 420 People have already signed a petition for Ronnie Smith’s release PLEASE JOIN THEM!

To:

The President of the United States The U.S. Senate The U.S. House of Representatives The Governor of AZ The AZ State Senate The AZ State House Gov. Janice Brewer, Arizona State Rep. Andy Tobin, Arizona-001A State Rep. Karen Fann, Arizona-001B State Rep. Brenda Barton, Arizona-006A State Rep. Bob Thorpe, Arizona-006B State Sen. Steve Pierce, Arizona-001 State Sen. Chester Crandell, Arizona-006 Sen. John McCain, Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake, Arizona Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick, Arizona-01 Rep. Paul Gosar, Arizona-04 State of Arizona

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you about freedom. Merriam Webster defines freedom as:

Definition of FREEDOM

1

: the quality or state of being free: as

a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence

c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous

d : ease, facility

e : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken freedom>

f : improper familiarity

g : boldness of conception or execution

h : unrestricted use

2

a : a political right

b : franchise, privilege

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/freedom

But we all know that Freedom Means so much more than that.

In the united states, the word freedom has attained a near holy status since our founding fathers so long ago so boldly declared their independence from the crown and said,

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. “

The passage came to represent a moral standard to which the United States should strive. What great word and ideal is standing behind those words? Freedom.

Our constitution is similarly tied up in this idea of freedom. The People are free, that is why we fought England, to be free. So concerned are we as a people with freedom, that we amended that sacred document with the Bill of Rights.

The first amendment of the United States constitution is:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

We have this amendment so that people can follow their conscience. We have this amendment so that people can make up their own minds and speak it. This amendment is perhaps one of the most powerful sentences ever written. For, what free person could tolerate anyone getting between them and their understanding of a creator (or their firm belief in atheism for that matter).

Yes, we as an American people are taught to love freedom and speak about our love of that freedom from an early age.

Sure, we all love freedom, but why am I really writing to you about freedom?

I am specifically writing to you on behalf of a prisoner in the great state of Arizona. The Right Reverend Ronnie Lee Smith was stopped while traveling through your state and was detained for possessing medicinal and sacramental cannabis. The Reverend Smith holds a medical recommendation from Dr Eidleman from California. Dr. Eidleman is well known for his natural medicine. He has been in the natural healing field for over thirty years. Dr. Eidleman traveled all over the world, learning a lot about natural ways of healing the body, the mind, and the spirit. Dr. Eidleman believe that these approaches to healing and to prevention and to awakening can be a boon to each of us, and to the country as a whole.

You can read more about Dr. Eidleman here: http://dreidelman.org/Health/bio/

Colorado and California state laws both protect patients who have a doctor’s recommendation but who have not registered with the state. Reverend Smith was legal for his medicinal and religious cannabis where he was visiting in California, he was legal where he was headed (home to Colorado). The state of Arizona does have reciprocity for their state. The Reverend Smith was just passing through the state but was arrested for his sacrament and medication.

Not only is Ronnie Smith a Reverend in his own right, he is also a member of a church in Colorado called Green Faith Ministry N.A.C. Headed by Reverend Brandon Baker. The mandates of Greenfaith Ministry are as follows:

*Cannabis Is a Healing Sacrament of green faith ministry, and is MANDATED FOR ALL PATRONS TO PRACTICE SACRAMENTAL CANNABIS BURNT OFFERINGS FOR BLESSINGS OF HEALTH for reasons as follows:

*HELPS EVOLVE THE SOUL Sacramental Cannabis augments ones faith and contributes to the evolution of one’s soul as one communes with ones inner self and ones spiritual connection with the universe. *IS AN EXERCISE IN ACQUIRING SPIRITUAL ATTRIBUTES BY SHARING. Sharing Sacramental Cannabis contributes to communion with Spirit and fellowship with others in the spiritual association of the brother/sisterhood of humankind. This practice leads to the discovery and creation of one’s spiritual path. *CREATES PEACE The hand cultivation of Sacramental Cannabis exerts an ennobling and expanding influence on people. The agriculturist is a peace loving person. A nurturing association with the Sacramental Cannabis plants instills patience, quiet, peace, reverence, meditation, spiritual awareness, enlightenment and awareness of the life force. There is great therapeutic value in growing your own sacrament when it is done in conscious partnership with collective human spirituality. *ENHANCES SPIRITUAL RECEPTIVITY One’s inherent imagination and spiritual receptivity is influenced by growing harvesting and ingesting the Cannabis Sacrament. The bio-electro-neuro-chemical effects of ingestion enhances the interface between mind and spirit and augments spiritual receptivity. The effect maybe likened to what happens to the image in a microscope when a drop of oil is added on an oil immersion lens. It is magnified and amplified to the eye of the beholder. *SERVES HUMANITY AS A MEANS OF HEALING People benefit fromutilizing sacramental Cannabis in conjunction with the body/mind healing values of Cannabis. Cannabis Sacrament as medicine/nourishment for the body and the spirit should be available to those who need it for relief from AIDS, glaucoma, nausea from radiation & chemotherapy, stress, muscle spastics, asthma, loss of appetite, migraine headaches, menstrual related discomforts, and many other human maladies. One of the THC Ministry’s(as well as green faith ministry’s) Holy duties is to provide the blessing of its Cannabis Sacrament to those suffering and in need of its benevolent blessings. ***Mandates by and for members of g. f. ministry, and all other div. of thc-ministries. *Special thanks to: All Div. Of thc-Ministries World Wide, and The Religion of Jesus Churches.

Mandates retrieved from: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/whatISgf.html

more church mandates: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/more_mandates.html

More on Greenfaith ministry here: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/

To whomever is reading this, I want you to consider three things about “state of Arizona vs smith”

Ronnie Smith is a medical cannabis patient. He has nerve damage and is a cancer survivor. He uses this plant to treat pain and to prevent the return of cancer. (Google search “run from the cure” if you have not yet heard of cannabis use to cure cancer) Ronnie Smith is a Reverend protected by the first amendment and a member of a religion who mandates smoked offerings. Ronnie Smith was travelling with minimal amounts of his medicine and sacrament, clearly not warranting any element other than personal possession 21 usc 802(2) The term “administer” refers to the direct application of a controlled substance to the body of a patient or research subject by— (A) a practitioner (or, in his presence, by his authorized agent), or (B) the patient or research subject at the direction and in the presence of the practitioner,whether such application be by injection, inhalation, ingestion, or any other means. (3) The term “agent” means an authorized person who acts on behalf of or at the direction of a manufacturer, distributor, or dispenser; except that such term does not include a common or contract carrier, public warehouseman, or employee of the carrier or warehouseman, when acting in the usual and lawful course of the carrier’s or warehouseman’s business…. (10) The term “dispense” means to deliver a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject by, or pursuant to the lawful order of, a practitioner, including the prescribing and administering of a controlled substance and the packaging, labeling or compounding necessary to prepare the substance for such delivery. The term “dispenser” means a practitioner who so delivers a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject…. *(27) The term “ultimate user” means a person who has lawfully obtained, and who possesses, a controlled substance for his own use or for the use of a member of his household or for an animal owned by him or by a member of his household.

I humbly beg the representatives with the power to do so in the state of Arizona to drop the charges included in case number J-1304-CR-201300774

Ronnie Smith c/o Yavapa county Jail Inmate #036312 Unit 4 Booking # 13-02676 2830 Commonwealth Dr #105 Camp Verde, AZ 86322-9998

Respectfully,

Sincerely, [Your name]

Ways to help and more information:


Ways You can help Ronnie Smith / Roland A. Duby…
1. Sign the Petition asking the state of Arizona to free 
Ronnie L. Smith AND ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO SIGN 
http://chn.ge/1b9gWGU

2. Write Ronnie a Letter to raise his spirits
Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapai County Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105
Camp Verde, Arizona, 86322-9998
(guidelines on what NOT to send ~such as postage stamps, cash, or checks… none of these will do ronnie any good if you send them….~ here are thier rules on what can be senthttp://www.ycsoaz.gov/?page_id=349 )

3. Want to Put Money On Ronnie L. Smith’s books for phone calls and food?
https://www.offenderconnect.com/portal
create an account and log in
select offender trust fund 
use his prisoner number 036312 
in yavapai county detentions

 

Here is an even easier way to help Ronnie Smith with communication funds. To put funds on Roland A. Duby‘s books for calls
please call 1-888-988-4768
and put funds on the name Ronnie Smith
DOB 08/20/66
Facility id: 90
please share this post  for greatest impact

4. donate to the lawyer fund here:
https://www.wepay.com/donations/1926515101
ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund

5. you can buy art prints from The Art of Breezy Kiefair to help support the phone 
calls. https://www.wepay.com/fb/stores/628249

6. Write Arizona News Media and ask them to cover 
the Ronnie Smith Story. Remind them that 
over 420 people have already signed a petition for 
his release https://www.change.org/petitions/state-of-arizona-
free-ronnie-smith

7. Attend the court hearing 
June 17, 2013
at 8:30 am Pacific
Superior Court – Camp Verde
2840 N. Commonwealth Drive
Camp Verde, AZ 86322

8. Attend the Court hearing
June 24, 2013
at 3pm Pacific
Yavapai County Courthouse – 
Prescott
120 South Cortez Street
Prescott, AZ 86303

9. Raise awareness by sharing links and news stories about Ronnie as they happen. Feel free to create your own links to raise awareness and share around. There are a lot more links to share located within this note: https://www.facebook.com/notes/breezy-kiefair/free-ronnie-smith/10151505521999139 as well as several locations external to facebook.

10. Contact Breezy Kiefair to see if there are any research or other tasks that could be helpful.

11. No matter how you communicate with the divine or the invisible strings of energy within the universe, please offer good energy towards Ronnie and all of his patients waiting for him to be released. Focus on the health needs of these individuals in addition to offering strength to him to battle a very corrupt county.

He has a status hearing scheduled for June 24th at 3pm. He has been appointed advisory counsel from a public defender

A Phone Call From Ronnie!

by Breezy Kiefair

Petition Organizer

a video of a call with Ronnie Smith from the Yavapai County Jail. Our beloved Roland A. Duby talks about his upcoming court date on June 3, sends a message to his former roomates, and checks on his lady ( Breezy Kiefair ‘s ) health…. he asks that any locals who can make it to the June 3 8am hearing do so!

State of AZ vs Smith Case number: J-1304-CR-201300774 Prosecuting attorney: Jay K. Ireland Judge: Tina R. Ainley Yavapai County Courthouse 120 South Cortez St, Room 103 Prescott, AZ 86303

Ronnie Speaks about the arrest

by Breezy Kiefair

Petition Organizer

In this video, Ronnie speaks about the day he was arrested and the injustice that day.

He really needs our support. Please keep sharing the petition and consider dropping Ronnie a Letter. He could really use some funds placed on his books in the form of MONEY ORDERS. a 6 minute call costs us $20 and the calls have needed to be much longer than 6 minutes lately. As of this morning, I have put the last of my medication money for the month onto Ronnie Smith’s books for phone calls in faith some sales will be made of my art to hold my medication needs over for the rest of the month.

Ronnie Smith c/o Yavapai county Jail Inmate #036312 Unit 4 Booking # 13-02676 2830 Commonwealth Dr #105 Camp Verde, AZ 86322-9998 donation link: https://www.wepay.com/donations/ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund or you can buy art from Breezy Kiefair to help support the phone calls.

https://www.wepay.com/fb/stores/628249

more links:http://kentuckymarijuanaparty.org/latest-news/78-ronnie-lee-smith-incarcerated-for-cannabis-in-az

http://the-human-solution.org/blogs-category/help-defend-ronnie-smith/

please view the following linkshttp://kiefair.com/2013/04/28/help-defend-ronnie-smith/http://kiefair.com/2013/05/02/free-ronnie-smith/

breezy kiefair on the radio with Paula Gloria , Joe Grumbine, Joe Barton and more talking about Ronnie Lee Smith. You can hear the show here:http://www.blogtalkradio.com/papsite-radio/2013/05/05/one-and-a-half-hours-of-sensibility

the excerpt where ronnie is discussed: 

here is a playlist of videos that feature Ronnie Smith. Some of them he is just a voice off camera and others he is the oil maker responsible for the oil in the video. I hope this helps.much love Breezy Kiefairhttp://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwc43UiVjiuei4EEsVLLENxtNMH1ASuwl

please sign the petition for his release: (432  signatures so far the morning of June 13, 2013)

http://www.change.org/petitions/state-of-arizona-free-ronnie-smith please sign the petition for his release.

If you wish to donate to his defense, please visit:https://www.wepay.com/donations/ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund

music videos:

need oil because Ronnie Smith is in jail? here is how to make it.http://kiefair.com/2013/05/25/how-to-make-phoenix-tears/

Letter to the Judge asking for Leniency

Ronnie Smith

c/o Yavapa County Jail

Inmate #036312 Unit 4

Booking # 13-02676

2830 Commonwealth Dr #105

Camp Verde, AZ 86322-9998

10 June 2013

Honorable Judge Tina R. Ainley

Yavapai County Courthouse – Prescott120 South Cortez StreetPrescott, AZ 86303

Honorable Judge Tina R. Ainley;

I am writing in regards to Mr. Ronnie L. Smith, inmate #036312, booking #13-02676

My name is Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer. My partner’s name is Ronnie Lee Smith. He is a law abiding patriot with a history of going through great lengths to practice his religion and choice of medicine legally, because he has respect for the law. Unfortunately, due to mistake of fact during a trip from California back home to Colorado, both locations where he medicates and worships legally with marijuana, he is now sitting in a jail cell hoping for your mercy.

Ronnie Lee Smith is a cancer survivor, but faces a risk of the cancer returning without access to his medication. He is also my caregiver. I myself am in poor health and each day that passes without his assistance finds me in even worse shape. Ronnie’s detention is an unbearable hardship for the both of us, and places us both in jeopardy as far as our health is concerned.

By assigning labels to a person, we systematically dehumanize them. When Arizona law enforcement officers assigned the label “suspect” to Ronnie Lee Smith, they began a process to dehumanized him, forgetting that he is also a human being who has medical conditions as well as a spirit that has chosen to worship within a religion.

When we limit our observations of an individual to a single facet of their being, we loose sight of the whole. We loose sight of the fact that Mr. Ronnie Smith has a loving companion back home waiting for him, experiencing her own health deteriorate at a rapid pace accellerated by the stress of awaiting a man who is being detained and prevented from caring from his own health, let alone helping to caretake his loved ones.

When we loose sight of the person who Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith is, it may be easy to persecute a label.

We ask that you not loose sight of Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith, the ENTIRE person. The person, who, as a medical patient of both California and Colorado, was traveling through Arizona carrying his personal medication on him. Taking a route through Arizona, due to the fact that he was attempting to stay within the boarders of states that understood compassionate care with cannabis. He was attempting to obey the law.

Unfortunately for Mr. Smith, and his ill companion back home; he was labeled a suspect.

Now, he is being held without access to the very medication that keeps him healthy. His companion back home is braving another cancer scare alone, without the man who is her very soul mate.

Why? Why is Arizona intent on prosecuting Mr. Smith? Doesn’t he fall with the State of Arizona’s own reciprocity in regards to Medical Marijuana? Doesn’t the Arizona Medical Marijuana Act define a “Visiting Qualifying Patient” in 36-2801 item 17?

We humbly ask you to take in consideration the fullness of the human condition that is Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith. We also ask that you take into consideration his failing health within the confines of the penal system. We ask that you relieve the state and the system of caring for Mr. Smith and release him into the care of his friends and intentional family who dearly love him.

Mr. Ronnie Lee Smith is a person who, as a patient was traveling with his medication between two states where he has seen physicians for his conditions. While traveling home, he has been sorely detained and only wishes to return to his home in Colorado where both his loving companion as well as his church anxiously await his return. We humbly ask that you grant that desire.

Ronnie is a good person who is non-violent and poses no threat of harm to society. I am asking for leniency on his behalf. First and foremost I would like to request his release on his own recognizance and dismissal of all charges so that he can come home and focus on his health and mine. If that is not an option, we are still requesting leniency, perhaps a release with time served. Ronnie has done so much to aid sick people across this Nation. Please give us hope that he may continue his cancer treatments and continue to aid in my recovery as well.

I have faith that the right course of action will be considered by the justice system.

Thank you for considering this request for leniency.

Sincerely,

Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer

 

Free Ronnie Smith

There are two methods you can go about this letter writing campaign.

The first is to click here and be taken to a change.org petition. This is the easiest way to get the letter circulated

The other way to help in the letter writing campaign  is to use the information I have provided below to send the letters out. Many of the people in power we are addressing require that you enter your email via their personal website. Those people do not have email addresses listed publicly. When filling out a contact form, please be sure to use the zip code of the jail holding Ronnie so that they don’t toss your concerns out for being from out of state.

email to

atobin@azleg.gov,

kfann@azleg.gov,

bbarton@azleg.gov,

bthorpe@azleg.gov,

spierce@azleg.gov,

ccrandell@azleg.gov

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you about freedom. Merriam Webster defines freedom as:

Definition of FREEDOM

1: the quality or state of being free: as

 a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

 b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence

 c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous <freedom from care>

 d : ease, facility <spoke the language with freedom>

 e : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken freedom>

 f : improper familiarity

 g : boldness of conception or execution

 h : unrestricted use <gave him the freedom of their home>

2

a : a political right

b : franchise, privilege

 http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/freedom

But we all know that Freedom Means so much more than that.

In the united states, the word freedom has attained a near holy status since our founding fathers so long ago so boldly declared their independence from the crown and said,

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. “

The passage came to represent a moral standard to which the United States should strive. What great word and ideal is standing behind those words? Freedom.

Our constitution is similarly tied up in this idea of freedom. The People are free, that is why we fought England, to be free. So concerned are we as a people with freedom, that we amended that sacred document with the Bill of Rights.

The first amendment of the United States constitution is:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

We have this amendment so that people can follow their conscience. We have this amendment so that people can make up their own minds and speak it. This amendment is perhaps one of the most powerful sentences ever written. For, what free person could tolerate anyone getting between them and their understanding of a creator (or their firm belief in atheism for that matter).

Yes, we as an American people are taught to love freedom and speak about our love of that freedom from an early age.

Sure, we all love freedom, but why am I really writing to you about freedom?

I am specifically writing to you on behalf of a prisoner in the great state of Arizona. The Right Reverend Ronnie Lee Smith was stopped while traveling through your state and was detained for possessing medicinal and sacramental cannabis. The Reverend Smith holds a medical recommendation from Dr Eidleman from California. Dr. Eidleman is well known for his natural medicine. He has been in the natural healing field for over thirty years. Dr. Eidleman traveled all over the world, learning a lot about natural ways of healing the body, the mind, and the spirit. Dr. Eidleman believe that these approaches to healing and to prevention and to awakening can be a boon to each of us, and to the country as a whole.

You can read more about Dr. Eidleman here: http://dreidelman.org/Health/bio/

Colorado and California state laws both protect patients who have a doctor’s recommendation but who have not registered with the state. Reverend Smith was legal for his medicinal and religious cannabis where he was visiting in California, he was legal where he was headed (home to Colorado). The state of Arizona does have reciprocity for their state. The Reverend Smith was just passing through the state but was arrested for his sacrament and medication.

Not only is Ronnie Smith a Reverend in his own right, he is also a member of a church in Colorado called Green Faith Ministry N.A.C. Headed by Reverend Brandon Baker. The mandates of Greenfaith Ministry are as follows:

*Cannabis Is a Healing Sacrament of green faith ministry, and is
MANDATED FOR ALL PATRONS TO PRACTICE SACRAMENTAL
CANNABIS BURNT OFFERINGS FOR BLESSINGS OF HEALTH for
reasons  as follows:

*HELPS EVOLVE THE SOUL Sacramental Cannabis augments ones faith and
contributes to the evolution of one’s soul as one communes with ones inner self
and ones spiritual connection with the universe.
*IS AN EXERCISE IN ACQUIRING SPIRITUAL ATTRIBUTES BY
SHARING. Sharing Sacramental Cannabis contributes to communion with Spirit
and fellowship with others in the spiritual association of the brother/sisterhood of
humankind. This practice leads to the discovery and creation of one’s spiritual
path.
*CREATES PEACE The hand cultivation of Sacramental Cannabis exerts an
ennobling and expanding influence on people. The agriculturist is a peace loving
person. A nurturing association with the Sacramental Cannabis plants instills
patience, quiet, peace, reverence, meditation, spiritual awareness, enlightenment
and awareness of the life force. There is great therapeutic value in growing your
own sacrament when it is done in conscious partnership with collective human
spirituality.
*ENHANCES SPIRITUAL RECEPTIVITY One’s inherent imagination and
spiritual receptivity is influenced by growing harvesting and ingesting the
Cannabis Sacrament. The bio-electro-neuro-chemical effects of ingestion enhances
the interface between mind and spirit and augments spiritual receptivity. The
effect maybe likened to what happens to the image in a microscope when a drop
of oil is added on an oil immersion lens. It is magnified and amplified to the eye of
the beholder.
*SERVES HUMANITY AS A MEANS OF HEALING People benefit from
utilizing sacramental Cannabis in conjunction with the body/mind healing values of
Cannabis. Cannabis Sacrament as medicine/nourishment for the body and the
spirit should be available to those who need it for relief from AIDS, glaucoma,
nausea from radiation & chemotherapy, stress, muscle spastics, asthma, loss
of appetite, migraine headaches, menstrual related discomforts, and many other
human maladies. One of the THC Ministry’s(as well as green faith ministry’s)
Holy duties is to provide the blessing of its Cannabis Sacrament to those suffering
and in need of its benevolent blessings.
***Mandates by and for members of g. f. ministry, and all other div. of
thc-ministries.
*Special thanks to: All Div. Of thc-Ministries World Wide, and The Religion of
Jesus Churches.

Mandates retrieved from: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/whatISgf.html

more church mandates: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/more_mandates.html

More on Greenfaith ministry here: http://www.greenfaithministry.com/

To whomever is reading this, I want you to consider three things about “state of Arizona vs smith”

  1. Ronnie Smith is a medical cannabis patient. He has nerve damage and is a cancer survivor. He uses this plant to treat pain and to prevent the return of cancer. (Google search “run from the cure” if you have not yet heard of cannabis use to cure cancer)
  2. Ronnie Smith is a Reverend protected by the first amendment and a member of a religion who mandates smoked offerings.
  3. Ronnie Smith was travelling with minimal amounts of his medicine and sacrament, clearly not warranting any element other than personal possession

21 usc 802(2) The term “administer” refers to the direct application of a controlled substance to the body of a patient or research subject by—
(A) a practitioner (or, in his presence, by his authorized agent), or
(B) the patient or research subject at the direction and in the presence of the practitioner,whether such application be by injection, inhalation, ingestion, or any other means.
(3) The term “agent” means an authorized person who acts on behalf of or at the direction of a manufacturer, distributor, or dispenser; except that such term does not include a common or contract carrier, public warehouseman, or employee of the carrier or warehouseman, when acting in the usual and lawful course of the carrier’s or warehouseman’s business….
(10) The term “dispense” means to deliver a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject by, or pursuant to the lawful order of, a practitioner, including the prescribing and administering of a controlled substance and the packaging, labeling or compounding necessary to prepare the substance for such delivery. The term “dispenser” means a practitioner who so delivers a controlled substance to an ultimate user or research subject….
*(27) The term “ultimate user” means a person who has lawfully obtained, and who possesses, a controlled substance for his own use or for the use of a member of his household or for an animal owned by him or by a member of his household.

I humbly beg the representatives with the power to do so in the state of Arizona to drop the charges included in case number J-1304-CR-201300774

Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapai County Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105
Camp Verde, Arizona, 86322-999

Respectfully,

2012-09-28 1700 driving home (90)

who to send it to:

Please use the Jail address instead of your own address when sending msgs via the websites

Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapai County Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105
Camp Verde, Arizona, 86322-999

list of representatives whom serve Yavapai County, Arizona

at the time of posting, each one has already gotten an email from me.

GOVERNOR JANICE K. BREWER

The Honorable Janice K. Brewer
Arizona Governor
Executive Tower
1700 West Washington Street
Phoenix, AZ 85007

Phoenix Office: (602) 542-4331
Tucson Office: (520) 628-6580
Fax Number: (602) 542-1381
In-State Toll Free: 1-800-253-0883 (outside Maricopa County only)

http://azgovernor.gov/Contact.asp

Your Senators

Sen. John McCain

RSOB- Russell Senate Office Building, Room 241
Constitution and Delaware Avenues, NE
Washington DC 20510-0303
Phone:(202) 224-2235
Fax:(202) 228-2862


Sen. Jeff Flake

RSOB- Russell Senate Office Building, Room B85
Constitution and Delaware Avenues, NE
Washington DC 20510
Phone:(202) 224-4521
Fax:(202) 228-0515

http://www.flake.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/contact-jeff

Your Representatives

Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick

District: FH-AZ01
CHOB- Cannon House Office Building, Room 330
Independence Avenue and 1st Street, SE
Washington DC 20515-0301
Phone:(202) 225-3361
Fax:(202) 225-3462

https://kirkpatrick.house.gov/contact/email-me


Rep. Paul Gosar

District: FH-AZ04
CHOB- Cannon House Office Building, Room 504
Independence Avenue and 1st Street, SE
Washington DC 20515-0301
Phone:(202) 225-2315
Fax:(202) 226-9739

https://gosar.house.gov/contact-me

Your State Representatives

State House

Rep. Andy Tobin

Phone:(602) 926-5172
Fax:(602) 417-3085
Email:atobin@azleg.gov

Rep. Karen Fann

Phone:(602) 926-5874
Fax:(602) 417-3001
Email:kfann@azleg.gov


Rep. Brenda Barton

Phone:(602) 926-4129
Fax:(602) 417-3010
Email:bbarton@azleg.gov

Rep. Bob Thorpe

Phone:(602) 926-5219
Fax:(602) 417-3223
Email:bthorpe@azleg.gov

State Senate

Sen. Steve Pierce

Phone:(602) 926-5584
Fax:(602) 417-3101
Email:spierce@azleg.gov

Sen. Chester Crandell

Phone:(602) 926-5409
Fax:(602) 417-3105
Email:ccrandell@azleg.gov

If you wish to donate to Ronnie Smith’s communication from jail, here is an easy way to help Ronnie Smith with communication funds. To put funds on Roland A. Duby‘s books for calls

please call 1-888-988-4768
and put funds on the name Ronnie Smith
DOB 08/20/66
Facility id: 90

or you may donate though wepay via the following link:

https://www.wepay.com/donations/ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund

Help Defend Ronnie Smith!

Click Here to sign petition to Free RONNIE SMITH!

Roland A. Duby whose legal name is Ronnie Lee Smith and is a noted pot comedian pictured here in 2013 on Ash Wednesday (we wear hash oil, not traditional ashes) with Breezy Kiefair and Jess FatFreddy Williamsaka Fat Freddy has been arrested!

On April 25, 2013 I was notified by a mutual friend that Ronnie Smith has been arrested in Yavapai county, Arizona on his way back from Cali. He asked that I post this here and ask anyone who may be able to help with his situation to please do so. I will be around and checking regularly, you can contact me in private message for more information 

the Detention Facility Information Line (928) 567-7734.
Booking information:

13-02676 4/24/2013 UNIT 3 SMITH, RONNIE L 8/20/1966]

479234_599614646725215_1855277174_o (1)

He was pulled over because his plates were about to expire. How they ended up searching the car, I do not know. He is wanted in Kentucky and they may extradite him there. If they do not extradite to Kentucky  they will prosecute him for 2oz and some cannabis cure oil (aka phoenix tears for curing cancer) he had on him. you can Paypal bail donations to btokeefer@gmail.com

Word from ronnie is that he WANTS to be extradited to Kentucky because he doesn’t want to fight with Arizona on a narcotics charge. the funds i am collecting are not be needed for bail, but he is going to need money on his books to communicate, a lawyer, all kinds of things he may need for his defense.  bail is set at $20,000 Arizona is charging him with 4 felonies and a misdemeanor and he has 2 warrants out of Kentucky. sounds like Kentucky WILL extradite. You can read Ronnie’s own words regarding what he is wanted for in Kentucky in a facebook note entitled What The Hell Did I do? 

As I write this, I have raised $1,082.33 USD of our goal of $7,500 to get Roland A. Duby representation in arizona. see my profile pic for more details. log into paypal and donate anything you can to btokeefer@gmail.com thanks to everyone who has been chipping in. remember every dollar helps. Roland A. Duby has been there for so many others, please be there for him. Please also join me in communicating with the creator of us all no matter how you understand that entity regarding all the drug war prisoners sitting behind bars today for their love of a plant. Love is never wrong. sick people should not have to be legal contortionists just to take their medicine, nor should the people dedicated to providing access to sick people who wish to choose a more natural remedy to their aliments.

when i first found out he was arrested, I looked into bailing him out and writing a writ of habeus corpus. Because of the charges in Kentucky, a writ of habeus corpus is not going to work. Nor is bailing him out going to work. the charges in arizona are an illegal search and seizure. he is willing to face the music in KY, but we have to get the charges in arizona taken care of. the money I have raised I will be putting on his books so he can communicate with me and others more. we are going to be using a religious cannabis defense in concert with fighting the illegal search and seizure. he needs folks mobilized down there to send the message to leave our sacrament alone and not to search when consent has not been given and a warrant does not exist.

here are some documents that prove Ronnie has a pattern of behavior of religious use.

church docs1 church docs2

I have mailed the above paperwork to Ronnie already.

i’m still collecting money for a lawyer and we have to be careful not to put too much on his books all at once. If someone could send him some phone money to hold him over until i can get paypal funds transferred, that would be ideal.

Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapai County Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105
Camp Verde, Arizona, 86322-9998

mail Roland A. Duby cash or a check for fastest assistance. Drop him a letter to raise his spirits. I’m working on getting the money from paypal onto his books, but right now he can’t even call out. Your assistance will reach him faster if you send it to him directly! if you want to donate to his defence, log into paypal and send money to btokeefer@gmail.com if you want to put some communication and comfort money on his books, use the above address.

kentucky has up to a month to come get him, let’s not put a whole lot on his books at once (i’m reserving most of what I have collected for a lawyer) but right now he cant even communicate with anyone until some money hits his books. I mailed him a $20 bill cause it was the cash I had on hand yesterday. I will be working for ronnie behind the scenes today and may not be very available to the online audience. call me if you have something in mind to do for ronnie at 719-480-0238 He is asking for a lawyer (something he never does).

I have also contacted Ronnie’s doctor who gave him a medicinal cannabis recomendation in 2005. below is my letter to  him.

 from: Breezy Keefer <btokeefer@gmail.com>
to: williameidelman@gmail.com

http://dreidelman.org/Health/
date: Sat, Apr 27, 2013 at 10:05 AM
subject: writing on behalf of a patient in jail
mailed-by: gmail.com

Greetings Dr. Eidelman,

I am writing you in regards to Mr. Ronnie L Smith who was a patient of yours in 2005. He is currently in jail in Yavapai county, Arizona and has need of his doctor’s recommendation from you. If there is any way you could mail me the hippa forms to send on to him, or mail him the doctor’s recommendation, please do so.

Ronnie Smith
c/o Yavapa county Jail
Inmate #036312 Unit 4
Booking # 13-02676
2830 Commonwealth Dr #105 
Camp Verde, AZ 86322

My address
Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer
PO BOX 705
Lafayette, Co 80026

Any assistance you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I believe you certified him for nerve damage in his shoulder? That nerve damage has never gone away and he continues to see benefit from medicinal cannabis. Ronnie has been a tireless activist for the plant and anything you can do to help would be appreciated. Thank you.
–Auto signature below–
Respectfully,
Lady B Kiefy
Breedheen O’Rilley Keefer
AKA Breezy Kiefair

links about breezy
blog
http://kiefair.com/
http://kiefy.com/

Dr Eidelman responded and said he would mail Ronnie his doctor’s recommendation no later than Tuesday,  April 30, 2013.

i have contacted 3 lawyers for him now…. One of them said He could take Ronnie’s case for a flat fee of $7,500 I am trying to raise that for him.

thanks again for all the love directed at both me and Ronnie Smith. my body is wearing down under the strain of all of this. I have contacted 3 lawyers for him and am doing everything i can think of. Dr Eidleman is sending his doctors recommendation and I have already mailed his religious paperwork. i need to figure out whom to direct a letter writing campaign to as a next step. Thank you for the donations and phone calls expressing concern. If anyone in arizona wishes to visit Roland A. Duby, i understand he can have visitors on Thursday. 2830 N Commonwealth Drive, Suite 105, Camp Verde, AZ 86322

visiting hours for his unit:
Thursday
7:30–10:30 AM / UNIT 3 & 4 – GENERAL POPULATION/MINIMUM – MALES
12:30–3:30 PM / UNIT 3 & 4 – GENERAL POPULATION/MINIMUM- MALES

If you wish to donate to Ronnie Smith’s communication from jail, here is an easy way to help Ronnie Smith with communication funds. To put funds on Roland A. Duby‘s books for calls

please call 1-888-988-4768
and put funds on the name Ronnie Smith
DOB 08/20/66
Facility id: 90

or you may donate though wepay via the following link:

https://www.wepay.com/donations/ronnie-l-smith-lawyer-fund

I have dedicated my life to the service of my creator and a plant gifted to us by that creator. Long ago i submitted myself to this path with love in myheart. That includes everything that goes with it. Prohibition is an ugly beast that tears people’s lives apart. If my life must be torn in service and love to my creator and one of the created plants, So be it… i submit my body, Spirit, Heart and mind to this path and whatever end it leads me to. i fear for the life and safety of a man who is my husband before my creator (though not under man’s laws save common law) who is behind bars. I fear for my life and safety as the doctors have so strongly cautioned me against The dangers of stress to my frail human shell. I will not let these fears rule me. I will take care of myself and my man to the best of my ability. He and i may have separated for my health and have had our issues like any couple, But i love him dearly & will defend his life and freedom as i would my own. i wait patiently until the time is right to fight for him some more. Be blessed

My smoke’s intentions this evening turn to the drug war victims (who are victims of prohibition and their love for cannabis). Some died for their love, Some are caged for their love, Some are divided from their children and families for their love, And don’t forget to bless the families waiting and praying for the freedom of those behind bars. Please join me in asking the creator to protect them. please join me in finding what you can do from where you are to help this change, Even just a prayer. Real physical Actions towards change are certainly a faster path to real change, but never underestimate the power of the connections of our energies in the universe. Offering your love or strength to those who are fighting can cause a it’s own ripples.

~ Do all that you can to cultivate peace within yourself, that it might
shine out from you, and plant the seed of peace in other spirits, for them
to cultivate.~

{Remember… it is when we choose act on the issues that are in front of
our faces, when we choose to get involved instead of looking the other way
as our fellow man struggles, when we choose to take those small simple
little actions, working on righting little wrongs in our everyday lives that
really make change happen, those seemingly small actions are what really
make the world a better place and are a catalyst for greater social change.}
Breezy Kiefair

 

High Crimes and Hijinks

Hello All!

I’m Steve, a friend of wonderful Breezy. She asked to add a little content here, since she likes my thinking sometimes. I am in fact a pot activist and have been for decades, but not exclusively so. You can expect me to have stuff to say about other things here, for example this piece about my trial and conviction for camping on public property during an Occupy rally last October. I apologize that there is a bit of a back story that would be unwieldy to give, but you can find it if you poke around the links some [I’ve discovered these links aren’t here. They are here, if you care to look: .http://hipgnosis21.blogspot.com/2012/08/high-crimes-and-hijinks.html%5D Part of my reason for airing this stuff here is to enable me to refine my own thinking through feedback and questions. I already know I’m an asshole and an idiot so if that’s all you have, start your own page and don’t clutter ours, please.

Below this little intro is a conversation i had with my lawyer, kinda; some stuff i wrote to explain myself to her, and have since edited into near unrecognizability. Had i been able to clarify the whole bit better before the trial things may have been different, but probably not. When i was first arrested in Colorado Springs on 18 October of 2011 for the heinous crime of camping on public property, i figured lawyers from the ACLU or something would swarm me like rats on a dying prisoner in the Bastille. I mean, really– advocates for the homeless have been up in arms for years over these no-camping ordinances, and i did the thing as an “Occupier,” rendering the political motivation for my act as obvious as a drag queen’s Adam’s apple. I thought hard about doing the thing pro se, but when i’ve taken that course in the past i wound up trapped in a paper maze of procedure. So i contacted the National Lawyer’s Guild, (NLG), and they connected me with the one attorney in Colorado Springs hot to take an Occupy case pro bono, Patty Perello.

Almost all the Occupiers involved have argued passionately that our actions, including my setting up a tent in specific violation of Colorado Springs’s “no-camping” ordinance, were protected by our First Amendment free-speech rights. I knew this was futile since the U.S. Supreme Court has already shot that line of thought down, and sorry, but i agree with their reasoning. Though other U.S. municipalities experienced more direct 1st Amendment oppression, we were always free to stand around with signs in Colorado Springs, as the argument goes. Occupying, camping, and even merely sleeping on public land are activities that cut much closer to the quick, as it were, boring through several layers of political patina to make painful and deeply suppressed connections in people’s consciousness, and in some ways tying the bulk of the Occupy message into a tight package.

The business of land use and ownership has been high on my list for years and, i think, key to much of what grieves us.It’s why i write about Henry George sometimes. I hoped to get this point across to Perello, but none of this was ever heard by the jury. Also critical is the troublesome 8th Amendment angle. More stuff silenced by Spottswood Williams.

Anyhow, i’m about to start to say again what i only meant to introduce. Below this is some stuff i wrote to explain myself to Ms. Perello. It’s the gist of what i actually wanted to say in court, but was barred from so doing. I can still explain myself on a street corner or here online if i want to, but not in a courtroom:

With a seemingly inexorable inevitability homelessness–poverty– is becoming criminalized in the United States of America. The phenomenon of Occupy protests brought to light in lurid, graphic terms the country’s sensitivities concerning land use, civil disobedience, liberty, and ideas and expression that make us uncomfortable or seem to threaten our aesthetic and ethical sensibilities. The widespread and oppressive action against Occupy encampments by law enforcement was necessary to maintain the prevailing political logic because it was simply an extension of currently habitual oppression directed toward the very poor, i.e. homeless people. There can be no Occupy permitted, because our “aesthetic” experience may be sullied by those wretches that will surely coat-tail upon any license to physically occupy public space in such an objectionable manner. This may be the essence of why the homeless population is both integral to and alienated from the Occupy phenomenon worldwide, since even many participants don’t get the connection.

The past several years have seen a proliferation of categorical laws designed to harass the homeless. The National Coalition for the Homeless, The National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty, and The National Homeless Civil Rights Project have produced reports that thoroughly document the national trend to discriminatory law-making, selective enforcement, and generally mean-spirited gestures toward those at the bottom end of society’s economic score sheet. We assert that the attached reports provide an apt description of exactly the sort of directed antagonism toward the very poor embraced by the City of Colorado Springs when it so carefully worded its ordinance to allow the pursuit of the homeless while slithering around the spirit of the Constitution. While we understand that protestation and occupation are not necessarily the same, the congruences with the Occupy protests rendered problems with the City’s “no-camping ordinance” germane, and are simply too pointed to allow full separation of the two matters. Bad law put in place as a means to directly truncate the liberties of a particular class of people was brought to bear on another distinct but overlapping set of political protesters engaging in behavior included in the previously established ordinances, resulting in still further loss of natural rights by everyone.

We recognize that no-camping ordinances in general and Colorado Springs’s in particular have been thoughtfully crafted to avoid curtailing First Amendment rights. As has been observed, i have every right to express political views at the spot i was arrested for camping, (although the City’s implication that one ought engage in such expression without provision for safety or comfort is of as suspicious motivation as the suggestion that no-camping ordinances apply to all and not merely to those whom they are likely to affect). We argue that nonetheless the no-camping ordinance is unconstitutional because of its inherently discriminatory nature, and contrary to the spirit of American foundational principles, as well as modern ethics.

M.J. and Dan, (the CSPD “Homeless Outreach Team” cops that actually arrested me), have both characterized the City’s ordinance as an important if not now tending toward indispensible “tool” for dealing with the “homeless problem.” The fact that they express their sense of the ordinance’s purpose and use thusly is really just sort of a semantic Freudian slip, but it derives from the same mindset i found at the planning meetings i attended at the United Way wherein “The Homeless” are a problem, rather than “homelessness.” The no-camping ordinance was conceived as and is now being utilized by the C.S.P.D. as a specific means to move the visibly homeless from the aesthetically offended public eye. Although cities including Colorado Springs have avoided utilizing terms such as, “homeless,” that would reveal the unconstitutionally discriminatory nature of similar ordinances, it remains that laws banning necessary, life-sustaining behavior such as sleeping, eating, bathing or storing belongings in public are likely to affect only those members of an economic class that finds itself forced into the targeted behaviors by circumstance. I observed and participated in the process of development when this ordinance was under consideration, and if anyone wants to get up and say it is not aimed directly at the homeless, i’ll stand in open court to call them a liar.

It remains that whether or not one possesses the means to do otherwise, a camping restriction places constraints on a heretofore traditional civil liberty that had been closely entwined with a central thread of American foundational principles. I wrote previously about my perception of the rights involved with camping ordinances as proto-constitutional. A homeless camper’s pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness are at stake in opposition to any restriction, and have been found weightless in the face of public demand for “aesthetic” sophistication, [Joel v. City of Orlando, 232 F.3d 1353 (11th Cir. 2000), cert. denied, 149 L.Ed.2d 480 (2001). Can’t find a free link to this one; it’s summarized here]. We don’t deny that a legitimate tension may exist between societal quality-of-life preferences, (i suspect in these instances this amounts mostly to the quality of perceptions held by the business associations that invariably champion anti-poor-folk laws), but we assert that those ought not carry so much weight as to eliminate the very last of life’s options for those with none other. While it is true that the physical presence of a camper diminishes the ability of others to enjoy the specific space he utilizes, the same is true for any park user at any time given the restrictions of physics. Parks are “first come first served,” to the limits of available space at all times. So, the primacy of uncomfortable business advocates is dubious

If i have a house i can set up a tent in the yard and spend the weekend screwing around out there with my kids. If i have no house i may not do so, not even to stave off frostbite, hypothermia or death, and certainly not as an expression of political sentiment. Ahem. The right to “aesthetic” comfort for the business class currently trumps the rights of the very poor to simply exist. They are required by law to be very poor somewhere out of the line of sight of sensitive society.
If, as is the case with Colorado Springs’s ordinance and others i can’t decline, being forced into “shelter” is the same as incarceration. To further bolster this perspective, the conditions at partially available shelters in Colorado Springs are awfully reminiscent of those at any jail or prison, if not worse by some measures. Also, because i lack the ability to pay a fine, i and others in the same circumstance face incarceration anyhow. All sorts of similar ordinances criminalize necessary behavior. We argue that incarceration or any sort of punishment for carrying out necessary activities where necessary is “cruel and unusual,” and violates the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution. [e.g. State v. Folks. No. 96-19569 MM (Fla-Cir. Ct., Duval County, Nov. 21, 1996)]

The cynical establishment response to the 8th Amendment argument has been to assert that ordinances with provision for forced sheltering and the like cannot be unconstitutional since the force takes place prior to conviction of any crime, i.e., it is not punishment. That gimmick is such bullshit that i had to pause after writing that last sentence to keep my head from exploding! Unlike the 1st Amendment argument, this one is both more pertinent, (IMHO), and not entirely settled. Although the ridiculous semantic tango above has emanated from courtrooms, delivered with straight faces no less, some adjudicators have called a duck a duck, so higher courts may well be influenced against some lower decisions in the future. [State v. Folks, linked above].
Anyway, the deed is done and i am a convicted camper, as we expected from the City court. I have a month from last Friday to file an appeal, which can yet afford hope for change. It remains to be seen how much support exists for this cause. I don’t think i can pursue the thing alone.

Finally, i’ve made suggestions above that i have yet to really substantiate. I’ve been quiet a while, sorting things a bit, but this stuff in my head deserves an explanation. Expect more.

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